Crossing paths
Normally Kabuto tries to stay under the radar when he is on his own but the latest development regarding Orochimaru’s arms has him apprehensive and he can’t afford the time to sneak around when all he wants to do is rush back to the hideout as soon as he is done.
He had a bad feeling about the attack on Konoha even if he normally trusts his master to know what he’s doing. But this outcome, the third hokage pulling such a final stunt that keeps punishing his former pupil, even from beyond the grave - Kabuto has to admit, it was a devious act, almost admirable if it wasn’t his master that is now suffering for it.
He isn’t fond of leaving the hideout where his master is currently writhing in agony. He likes to be there even if he can’t do much to help and his presence is mostly viewed as oppressive.
When sick or injured, Orochimaru is terrible to be around, but despite that kowledge, Kabuto simply can’t stay away, masochistic as he sometimes tends to be when it comes to the other man.
His master is his sole purpose for existing, without him, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
He is also afraid that his place will be stolen by someone else, one of those interlopers that hovers near and wouldn’t hesitate for even a second to take Kabuto’s position if available to do so. They all want to be the favourite, grasping with greedy hands at the unreachable.
Just like he does himself as well, thinking that it will earn him what he craves in the end.
One of these days....he is sure he will succeed.
If no one beats him to it.
To his great dismay he has been forced to leave Orochimaru to his own devices, while seeking out more ingredients needed to soothe his master’s torture. They both know it will probably be of little use but they have not yet reached the point where they are prepared to say it out loud.
Orochimaru is too proud to admit that his former sensei managed to pull a final cruel trick on him during their battle, and Kabuto doesn’t like to acknowledge that Orochimaru might be fallible, just like everyone else.
This can’t be the end, not after everything Orochimaru has been through. Not after everything they have been through.
If Kabuto can prevent it, then he will.
That is why he is currently grasping at straws, whatever he can come up with that can act as a remedy and this is also why he has forgone his usual discreetness by simply travelling as fast he possibly can to a town large enough to have a pharmacy to provide him with what he needs.
If nothing else it might help with the pain until they figure out how to deal with the real issue of the actual seal Sarutobi put on his former student. He sacrificed his own life for it, so it is bound to be very potent, perhaps even irreversible, although that is a thought that makes Kabuto feel ill at ease if he so much as allows that idea to manifest for a second.
If he manages to get rid of the pain and the fever that is currently ravaging his master’s pale body, then it will buy him time to figure out the rest as well. He is sure of it.
He has just entered through the door of the pharmacy, eyes already scanning the walls for what he might need when he catches sight of someone he hasn’t seen before but knows quite a lot about.
He feels himself stiffen for a second before deciding that the only way is forward and that running like a frightened pup with his tail between his legs is not in his nature.
Standing around perusing a shelf of ointments is one of the legendary Sannin himself, one of his master’s old friends, the notorious Jiraiya, large and impressive in both hight and bulk, white, spiky hair like a tail down his back, far larger than Orochimaru when it comes to physical size, not to mention, quite a lot bigger than Kabuto himself.
Unlike Kabuto’s master, this man has allowed time to leave marks on his appearance, he looks his age, clearly not afraid to let experience and maturity to tell its tale, thereby making it strange to consider that he and Orochimaru are contemporaries.
Jiraiya isn’t particularly good-looking, no spectacular features to admire, unlike Orochimaru who has something that immediately draws the eye, but he still manages to strike a presence that makes him memorable and for a second Kabuto can’t help but feel a sting of resentment towards this man who once played a pivotal role in his master’s life.
He can’t help but wonder how pivotal, but considering Orochimaru’s appreciation towards beauty he assumes they might not have been intimate in a way that would annoy him to consider.
They were undoubtedly close as they spent a lot of time in each other’s company for many years, but that certainly doesn’t mean they engaged in anything sexual.
On the other hand, Sasori was apparently someone who got to enjoy a more carnal side of his former Akatsuki companion when they were paired off a couple of years ago, and considering how Orochimaru’s interest in other people is always unpredictable, there is no telling what he got up to with the man who is currently standing in front of Kabuto, at the moment completely unaware of his scrutiny.
For a second, Kabuto contemplates just leaving again.
People from Konoha means trouble, especially these days, and this is not a man to be trifled with, he earned his reputation for a reason.
But on the other hand, Jiraiya was not present during the attack on the village, most likely he doesn’t even know about it if he’s in these parts of the land and the news about the hokage's death doesn’t seem to have reached him yet.
Besides, he probably doesn’t know who Kabuto is anyway.
So his curiosity wins out in the end and he steps further inside and sidles up next to the other man, pretending to look at the same ointments even if what he really is after are herbs.
Jiariya notices his presence as expected and turns his head to look down at him, a breezy look in his eyes as he allows them to wander up and down Kabuto’s body.
“Here for the same reason, eh?” he says, nodding towards the jars on the shelf.
Kabuto gives him that false smile that makes him look friendly and harmless. The very same smile he used during the chunin exam to get Naruto and his teammates to like him.
He is pretty sure he failed when it came to Sasuke, that brat is moody as no other, but Naruto and Sakura seemed to accept him well enough. Naruto was actually upset when Kabuto bowed out before finishing the exam.
Jiraiya is a more experienced man than Naruto Uzumaki of course, but there is no reason why he should suspect Kabuto of being anything other than a normal young man.
He pretends to look at the ointments while shaking his head.
“Not sure, actually. I’m looking for something for a friend of mine,” he explains, pretending to look a bit lost.
It feels strange using the term friend about Orochimaru, he would probably be flayed alive if he was ever overheard using that description.
They’re not friends after all.
Kabuto isn’t delusional.
He doesn’t have any friends and Orochimaru only has lovers or enemies, nothing in between, besides Kabuto who is none of those.
He’s just someone who hangs around, more than a servant but less than a confidant.
Sure, his master tells him things but only details he actually wants to disclose. The really important stuff he keeps to himself and Kabuto has no key to his brain that would allow him the knowledge he craves.
“Friend, eh?” Jiariya says, and winks, as if friend is a foreign concept to him as well.
Maybe it is.
Maybe it is something the three legendary Sannin have in common, the inability to form lasting bonds with other people. They once had each other, now they have no one.
“Personally, I’m here about the rash on my....”
Jiraiya snaps his mouth shut to interrupt himself, as if suddenly conscious about what he was about to say, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
“...it itches a bit,” he finishes lamely and Kabuto thinks he can detect a slight shade of pink adorning his cheeks.
He has already indicated his lower regions, and considering his reputation as a overly eager womanizer as well as the author of erotic novels that seem very much based on his own exploits, Kabuto thinks the man should be lucky he is only suffering from a rash instead of his genitals actually falling off.
Out of curiosity, only because he knows Jiraiya is someone who used to be close to his master, Kabuto has leafed through the novels.
Normally he isn’t interested in the topic of sex, love and sappy plots, he hasn’t made a place for it in the life he leads so why would he bother reading about it?
They are not very well written either and the main characters is surprisingly unlucky in love despite his eager efforts at seduction.
But there is a passage in one of the novels where a young woman with long black hair and glimmering golden yes, dressed in a purple kimono is described with particular attention to detail, and from one scorned lover to the next, Kabuto is good at reading between the lines and recognize the object of affection hidden behind the character description.
As he now comes to think of it, he wouldn’t be surprised if Jiraiya and Orochimaru once were more than just friends after all. The whole thing reeks of unresolved issues between them if that part in the novel is anything to go by.
Orochimaru has a curiosity about certain people and tends to have sex with them as a way of manipulation, binding them to him emotionally, and even if the former friends no longer see eye to eye, Kabuto can’t help wondering if Jiraiya was one of the first that fell for the snake Sannin’s charms, despite his solid reputation as a lover of women.
Kabuto knows that he needs to keep this visit short, he needs to get back before something terrible happens at the hideout, but his curiosity and his thirst to acquire yet another rare piece of the puzzle that is his master is far too tempting to let go of.
So he makes himself look even more humble and unremarkable, like a stupid sap with nothing of significance between his ears and says what he assumes will stroke the other man’s ego if he is anything like most men are when they are told that there is something to admire about them.
“Excuse me for being so forward, but aren’t you the author of the Icha icha novels? If you are, I just wanted to let you know that I’m a huge fan. My copies are so frequently read that the pages are threatening to fall out by now.”
He lets out a sheepish laugh and makes himself look boyish and awkward while Jiraiya at first looks unsure of how to respond but then, as expected, gets flattered and looks awkwardly proud to be recognized for this feat.
Perhaps even more proud of his novels than his heroic deeds.
“Is that so?” he muses and Kabuto eagerly nods.
“Yeah, I have a favourite part in one of the novels that I’ve lost count over how many times I’ve read it.”
Jiraiya’s eyes glimmer with curiosity, lapping it all up. Maybe he normally doesn’t get a lot of praise for his writing skills?
“Really? What part is it?” he asks, not even trying to hide his eagerness to find out what a fan of his might like.
Kabuto makes the proper pause to come off as a bit embarrassed and turns his gaze away for a second to look at the shelf instead of the man next to him.
“Well, I don’t know if I should tell....it's a bit embarrassing really....but, I guess I always wanted to know the truth about this particular character, and who knows if I’ll ever get a better chance of finding out than I have right now...?”
Jiraiya, apparently still preening from the attention nods at him to continue.
Kabuto turns his eyes back to look at him, all serious now, as if they were talking about something much more significant than erotic novels.
“Well, I guess one of the characters in particular managed to make a memorable impact on me. She made me...well, curious, I guess. The woman with the long black hair and the golden eyes, from the second novel. Her name is never mentioned but she is the one who the hero of the book encounters during the light festival and they share a memorable night together before she leaves without a trace the morning after.”
There is a flicker of something indiscernible in Jiraiya’s eyes, akin to darkness and his lips presses into a thin line.
When he doesn’t offer a comment of acknowledgement, Kabuto continues.
“I always wondered if she was inspired by a real person, someone you might have met during your travels?”
There is definitely a tinge of unresolved issue in Jiraiya’s gaze, he doesn’t even try to hide it or perhaps he isn’t even aware of what he is projecting.
It confirms Kabuto’s suspicions about the nature of the former relationship between his master and this man, sending a surprisingly strong surge of bitterness through his body at this realisation although he kind of suspected it all along.
He looks at Jiraiya in a different light now and feels resentment towards him despite the fact that whatever the former teammates might have had between them clearly is no longer anything for Kabuto to concern himself with.
Orochimaru is fickle like that, his interest in a person never lasts very long.
Kimimaro has made it last the longest but even his golden days are beginning to fade now. Kabuto can’t wait for the curtain to finally fall on that particular relationship.
Jiraiya clears his throat and finally makes the effort to look more composed and neutral, as if they are simply discussing a fictional character and not someone who managed to make a huge impact on him and who still has their claws in his soul to some degree.
“Yes, she is someone who exists out there, even if I don’t know her whereabouts, and I still search for her to this very day.”
A silence settles between them, Kabuto unsure of how to reply to something so revealing while still staying in character of a random fan of erotic novels, while Jiraiya is noticeably haunted by a past only visible to him.
Kabuto clears his throat, suddenly remmbering that he is in a hurry, and that trying to dig up pieces of information about his master, however tempting that prospect might be, isn’t his priority right now.
So he nods and makes a slight bow.
“I was a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for taking the time to answer my small, insignificant question. I will let you continue with what you were doing.”
Before Jiraiya has the chance to snap out of his ponderings, Kabuto has turned hs back on him, a moment later he is out the door and on the hunt for another pharmacy available. He finds one after some erratic searching, procures what he needs and is heading for the hideout within the hour, breathless and eager to make it back as soon as possible.
Jiraiya watches the young man with the spectacles leave the pharmacy in a hurry and with resignation he allows his rash to wait for later treatment despite the increasing itch as he heads out the door and starts to trail the other one, keeping a proper distance so his presence won’t be noticed.
He recognized the man immediately as the latest acolyte following in Orochimaru’s footsteps.
They have never properly met before but Jiraiya has eyes and ears everywhere and knows that a young man fitting exactly into the description of this one, has often been seen in Orochimaru’s presence, on the few occasions Orochimaru has deigned to be spotted by someone, which isn’t often, elusive as he is.
Jiraiya has never given up his search, he will probably keep doing it until he finds Orochimaru or one of them dies.
Considering that Orochimaru has vowed to never die, Jiraiya assumes he will be the one to go first, but the thought of never seeing each other again is not sitting well with him. That is why he has kept chasing a shadow who has no interest in ever being found.
The unexpectedness of being this close to his former friend and lover again has Jiraiya rattled, and instead of facing off against the young and acknowledge that he knows who he is, he decides that the wiser choice will be to follow him instead and perhaps he will unknowingly lead him to Orochimaru.
At first it isn’t that difficult keeping track.
The young man moves erratically through the streets until he finds another pharmacy and while he is inside, Jiraiya leans back against a wall across the street, mostly hidden behind a fruit stand, waiting for him to emerge, while his thoughts are trying to align themselves with the possibility of seeing Orochimaru again after all this time.
They have not seen each other since that time when Jiariya managed to track him to a bar, went up with him to his rented bedroom, expecting them to rekindle some old feelings but instead woke up three days later with a headache from hell and no former lover in sight.
He remembers actually raging after that, something he usually doesn’t do.
No matter the circumstances and what a hothead he used to be as a child, Jiraiya knows how to rein in his temper better these days.
But no one can bring his anger out of him the way Orochimaru can, and the realisation of how close he had been to capturing him and how he had allowed the opportunity to slip through his fingers on account of his libido and old sentiment, still haunts him to this day.
Orochimaru was a member of the Akatsuki back then and as far as Jiraiya knows, that isn’t the case anymore, but he still has no clue what Orochimaru might be up to these days or where he is currently hiding.
He should take a break and return home for a while, clear his head and maybe do something else until he finds a new clue.
It’s been ages since Jiraiya has been back to Konoha, he has lost track of that part of his life, but the village no longer holds the same appeal when so many of the people he used to care for are no longer there.
He might as well keep travelling for a while longer even if he has a feeling his presence is probably wanted soon enough.
He has been away for a long period of time and even if Jiraiya never was Sarutobi’s favourite pupil, Jiraiya is all he has these days and being the hokage, Sarutobi he likes to keep tabs on everyone, wherever they might be.
There is also the issue of Minato’s kid having grown up.
Naruto Uzumaki.
Jiraiya doesn’t’ have hight hopes of him being as talented as his father but as his destiny is still to travel the world until he finds a suitable protégé, he assumes he has to check the boy out at least.
But this new clue that might take him all the way to Orochimaru has taken precedence for now and there is always time to see his old sensei later.
Sarutobi will be in the same spot as last time they saw each other, weighed down by responsibility, a stern face underneath the brim of his hokage hat and the lines in his face deeper than the last time Jiraiya saw him.
Hiruzen Sarutobi never looked like a young man, not even when Jiraiya and his friends were children, but the whole debacle with Orochimaru and how Sarutobi allowed his favourite to flee without consequnces has aged him even more.
It wore him down as if it was his own family and blood that had betrayed him.
Well, Orochimaru always was the much-loved protégé, Sarutobi actually seemed fonder of him than any of his own children.
No wonder Asuma decided to leave the village after a fall-out with his father when the man kept holding him to such impossible standards all the time. Who would ever be able to live up to likes of Orochimaru anyway?
Jiraiya can still recall the sting of unfairness he experienced when he was younger, always being compared to Orochimaru, always being asked why he could be more like him.
How ironic that he never ended up resenting his teammate but instead fell in love with him.
In hindsight it is pathetic to consider, but he isn’t delusional, he doesn’t run from the truth. However twisted and barbed that love was, and still is, he doesn’t question the validity of it.
That’s why he wonders why Orochimaru’s current henchman asked about the female character in Jiraya’s novel that he largely based on Orochimaru, all down to the physical details and the temper.
That this young man must have figured it out is obvious but the question is how, and why he decided to ask Jiraiya about it?
If he knows what he and Orochimaru are to each other, that they are standing on opposite sides these days, why approach Jiraiya in the first place?
Unless he is in the same pitiable situation Jiraiya used to be in, chasing after mercury slipping through eager fingers, impossible to grab, impossible to maintain.
Poor sod might even have it worse if Jiraiya correctly remembers the hurt he constantly experienced during his time together with Orochimaru.
It was the happiest as well as the most terrible time in his life, as if he was being tortured day and night by the very thing he yearned for.
It was horrible bliss, he wanted nothing else, still doesn’t and yet he knew all along that it was breaking him apart to engage so closely with his teammate.
He never wanted to let go and that’s probably the reason why he keeps chasing Orochimaru so ardently even now, because he wishes he could have all of it back, even if he deep down knows it can never be the two of them again.
He feels a shiver of unpleasantness run down his spine as he considers his own foolishness but he ignores the logical side of his brain and remains where he is, hiding behind the fruit stand.
It doesn’t take too long for the man he is spying on to steps out from the pharmacy, carrying a pouch that he puts inside his clothes before he is off down the crowded streets.
Jiraiya was never overly good at the art of surveillance, he remembers his sensei berating him for not having the skill to keep a proper distance while still having the target close enough to keep sight of.
But he manages it for far longer than expected, probably motivated by the prospect of being led to Orochimaru.
But in the end he has to accept defeat as dusk is beginning to fall and the man he is chasing is clearly more adept at sneaking around undetected than Jiraiya could ever be.
He loses sight of him somewhere on the outskirts of town and even if he tries chasing him for at least an hour longer, he finally has to admit that the trail has gone cold and that he has no idea if he is even moving in the right direction.
As he returns to the town that is about to close down for the night, he suddenly longs for Konoha in a way he hasn’t felt in ages.
He can’t even explain why, there is no one waiting for him back home, not even his sensei although he does look relieved occasionally when Jiraiya deigns to return.
He never asks him how his hunt for Orochimaru goes though.
It’s like they pretend that Orochimaru is forever lost to them and all the hurt he used to cause is deeply buried and of no concern to either of them anymore. It's difficult to tell who is better at swallowing that lie, Jiraiya or Sarutobi.
The moon is bright but a strange colour tonight and he wonders if it is a bad omen for things to come.
He also wonders about the pouch in the henchman’s hands, what it might have contained and irrationally he worries that something might be ailing Orochimaru, even if he is fully aware that Orochimaru is too strong and indestructible to ever suffer any proper damage.
He blames the long day, his frazzled feelings and past memories playing games with head for how he is currently feeling.
The rash itches worse than ever and keeps him up late into the early hours, trying not to scratch his sensitive skin too viciously.
By morning he has managed to draw blood anyway so he returns to the pharmacy, buys the ointment he was after before he got distracted, and then, to his own surprise, he starts the long, arduous way home to Konoha.
He can already envision Sarutobi standing in his office, looking at him the way he always does when Jiraiya returns, with a hint of relief mixed with disappointment.
He isn’t sure what the disappointment is all about, because he is pretty sure Sarutobi doesn’t want Jiraiya to succeed with his mission. Maybe he laments the fact that it is Jiraiya who returns and not the precious former protégé?
Whatever the reason, he decides not to take offence. Konoha is his home after all and Sarutobi is his former sensei, always there to welcome him home, even if he rarely says so out loud.
For once, Jiraiya can’t wait to see the old man again.