Chapter 3
Kakashi watched as Naruto followed Bear-kaichou around, looking up with wonder and awe. “Hound, get your kid!” Bear-kaichou hissed, jumping over the couch only to find Naruto finding his way over to him. “He’s harassing me.”
“He likes you,” Kakashi hummed, flipping another page. This was entirely too entertaining to stop.
“He kicked me the other day!”
“Now now, you took his cookie,” Kakashi said, “I would say you deserved it.”
“Cookies aren’t healthy!” Bear-kaichou huffed. Kakashi watched as Bear-kaichou bent down, taking a kunai out of his pouch and handing it to Naruto, “Here kid, throw this at Hound.”
Naruto frowned, looking at the kunai in his hand before tossing it down at Bear-kaichou’s feet and lifting his arms up. Kakashi snorted at Bear-kaichou’s confusion, and fear at Naruto’s whimper when Bear-kaichou tried to stand up. “What does he want from me?” Bear-kaichou whispered, “What do you want from me, kid?”
“Up,” Naruto huffed, lifting his arms and standing on his tip toes.
“Up? What the-“
“He wants you to carry him,” Kakashi hummed.
“Up,” Naruto said again, glaring at Bear-kaichou. Which was pretty agressive for a one year old. “Up!”
Bear-kaichou glared right back, “I’m not a jungle gym kid, that’s what Weasel is for.”
“Up!” Naruto yelled.
“You should carry him,” Kakashi hummed, “He’s quite persistent.”
“Hound-“
“Up, Bear-san, up!” Naruto stomped his foot.
“Fine! Damn brat.” Bear-kaichou bent down and picked Naruto up by a leg, “There.” Naruto gigged, swinging himself before latching into Bear-kaichou’s arm, “He’s a freaking koala.”
“You should see him when he’s tired,” Kakashi said.
“Hound, get this kid off me.”
Kakashi peeked at them, snorting at the scene. A six foot ANBU with a one year old kid hanging onto his arm and playing with his weapons pouch. “Nah, I think I’m good.”
“Hound-“
“Aw, Kaichou and kid bonding time! How cute!” Dove swooped in.
“Dove, take the kid. You like him!”
“So, Hound. You going on any missions?”
“Not anytime soon,” Kakashi hummed, “Hokage-sama wants me making sure Naruto doesn’t die here.”
“Lucky,” Dove sighed, collapsing on the couch, “I’m being sent to kill this one guy, discretely or whatever.”
Kakashi rolled his eyes, glancing back at Naruto and Bear-kaichou. Naruto had gotten hold of a kunai and was holding it haphazardly and was very close to stabbing Bear-kaichou, who was currently trying to get the kunai.
“Go, Naruto-kun!” Dove cheered, snickering at Bear-kaichou got nicked by the kunai, “And we found Bear-kaichou’s ultimate weakness-Kids!”
“Shut up, Dove,” Bear-kaichou hissed, extracting the kunai and trading it for a much less sharper one, “Naruto-kun is just…”
“Amazing? All-inspiring? Cute? Adorable?”
“Last I heard, you almost cussed him out,” Bear-kaichou snarked, “But if you like him so much, then you take him.”
“But your having such a fun time!” Dove snickered, catching the kunai thrown at her.
Naruto giggled before shifting on the arm, forcing Bear-kaichou to hold his arm out. Naruto let go of the arm with his hands but held on with his legs, his shirt covering his face. “I’m not a jungle gym, kid,” Bear-kaichou huffed, though he stayed there, even swinging his arm around slightly to entertain Naruto.
Kakashi snorted, “Do you think we should start training him?”
“If by we you mean you, then yes,” Dove said.
Kakashi shrugged. He’d technically be his older brother if Minato-Sensei was alive. It wouldn’t hurt to train him as if he was Naruto’s older brother. “If shit goes down in flames, don’t blame me.”
“Damn it, kid!” Kakashi looked back over at Kaichou then snorted, smirking at the bloody arm and the kunai imbedded in it. Kakashi stood up, taking Naruto away from the mess and turning him away.
“How’d that happen, Kaichou?” Kakashi hummed, taking a step back. He felt Naruto start sniffling and Kakashi sighed, “See? Now you made Naruto upset. It’s okay Naruto.”
“Upset? He stabbed me!” Bear-kaichou scowled, already wrapping the wound.
“And it was done very well and cleanly,” Kakashi nodded, assessing the wound. “Plus, your trained to be able to withstand getting stabbed.”
“It’s still not pleasant,” he muttered, finishing the wrapping off.
“Sowwy,” Naruto’s tiny voice wobbled, turning around to look at Bear-kaichou.
Kakashi’s heart squeezed. Why was this kid so cute?
Bear-kaichou sighed, placing a hand on Naruto’s head, “Don’t worry about it kid, your good.”
Naruto nodded, lip wobbling before he broke out into bawls, launching himself out of Kakashi’s grip and clinging onto Bear-kaichou. Cue the panic.
“Come on kid-don’t cry. I told you your good!” Bear-kaichou wasn’t even holding Naruto, the kid was holding on through sheer strength, “Damn, your strong!”
Naruto snickered, rubbing his face against Bear-kaichou’s vest, “Very strong.”
Kaichou’s voice was strained when he spoke again, “Yeah,” he agreed, “Very strong.”
“Ah, we have someone fluent in baby language,” Dove snickered.
“Hound?” Bear-kaichou said.
Kakashi snorted, but stood up, grabbing Naruto and putting him on his shoulder, “Good job. You can deal with stress,” Kakashi grinned.
“Just because your an elite commander-“
And Naruto almost fell.
Dove jumped up, diving for him and successfully catching Naruto.
“Good job, Hound, you can’t carry a kid,” Bear-kaichou snarked.
Kakashi rolled his eyes, turning around to watch Naruto stand on Dove’s shoulders, “Look! I’m super duper high!” he exclaimed, wobbling when he let go of Dove’s head, balancing on her shoulders.
“Super duper high indeed,” Kakashi nodded.
“Now can you do it without Dove holding you?” Bear-kaichou challenged. Naruto wobbled unexpectedly as Dove let go of his ankles, gripping her head again to balance himself. “Come on, try.”
Naruto frowned and slowly rose up, keeping his arms out to balance himself. He almost fell, slamming into Anko’s head to steady himself.
Then he tried again.
And again.
And again.
He beamed up at them when he successfully stood up, albeit shakily, “I do it!” Naruto exclaimed, oblivious to Dove’s pain.
“You did it,” Kakashi nodded, taking him down to relieve Dove. She sighed, robbing the top of her head. “Good job,” he praised. Kakashi heard Bear-kaichou mutter, “Why the hell is this kid so cute?”
Looks like Naruto had even kaichou wrapped around fingers.
“Are we gonna go up?” Naruto asked, “Want ramen.”
Kakashi snorted, but nodded, “We’ll go to Ichiraku in a bit,” he agreed, “After you do your homework.”
Naruto pouted. And when Naruto pouted. It got dangerous.
And Naruto knew that.
“But I don’t want to,” Naruto whined, clinging to his chest even as Kakashi let go of him, “Want. Ramen!”
“Homework. First,” Kakashi fought back.
“Ramen!” Naruto shoved his face in Kakashi’s neck. The next thing he knew, Naruto was crying.
“Come on, Naru, no need to cry,” Kakashi said, hands flailing around Naruto’s shaking body, “It’s just one page!”
“Ramen!” Naruto cried, hands digging painfully into Kakashi’s sides.
The kid wasn’t even that big, how to hell did he hold onto them?
“Just get the kid his ramen!” Bear-kaichou exclaimed.
Naruto perked up, blinking away his tears before throwing himself at Bear-kaichou. Which was pretty fucking scary because who know the kid could go so far?
“Ramen!” Naruto cheered, clinging to Bear-kaichou’s arm.
Kakashi sighed, “Might as well,” he grumbled. Sure, Naruto wouldn’t start the academy till age six, but it didn’t hurt to start now. Besides, it helped Kakashi, so it should help Naruto. Kakashi went to his room while Bear-kaichou and Anko went to theirs. He took off his mask, getting dressed in his more casual clothes before shooting out his window.
He raised an eyebrow at Anko and Satoshi. The scene was familiar with the year they had Naruto, and Kakashi knew that Anko wouldn’t be any help. Then again, he normally wasn’t either as seeing Satoshi slowly dying inside at the face of Naruto was hilarious.
“Kakashi! Naruto decided to climb the tree and won’t come down!” Satoshi exclaimed. Now, becoming a ANBU captain was a feat within itself. But Satoshi didn’t only manage to become an ANBU captain at age 16, but managed to put himself in a place where he’s indispensable and in charge of training the newbies and putting teenage ANBU in teams and missions.
But apparently, his expertise laid in teenagers only. Not curious one-year-olds who had the worst(read horrifyingly effective) puppy dog eyes and trembling lips.
And apparently, he can catch Tora after the damned cat climbed a tree but can’t get a kid down.
“MY ETERNAL RIVAL!”
Kakashi let out a sigh, glaring at Anko before looking up, “Naruto, please come down.”
“No!” Naruto exclaimed, glaring down at him before glancing up, “Weirdo green guy here.”
“I CHALLENGE YOU-“
“I’ll let you jump on him,” Kakashi promised, ignoring Gai in favor of getting Naruto out of the tree. How’d he even get up there?
“Really?” Naruto’s eyes lit up.
“Really,” Kakashi nodded, “Ready?” Naruto nodded eagerly, “3…2…” Kakashi glanced back before dodging Gai all together. “1.”
“SO HI-“
And Naruto landed on Gai’s head, cutting Gai off and landing in Kakashi’s grip. “Nice jump,” Kakashi praised.
“Fun!” Naruto cheered, snuggling into Kakashi.
“SO HIP!” Gai cried, tears running down his face even though his words were garbled, no doubt from biting his tongue, “GREAT JUMP, MY DEAR COMRADE OF THE LEAF!”
“Ramen now?” Naruto asked as Kakashi turned away from the screaming human of green.
Kakashi nodded, feeling Satoshi slide next to him, “Ramen now,” he agreed. Satoshi lifter Naruto onto his shoulders. Naruto laughed, eyes shining with glee as he took in the town.
No one glared at them, instead smiling at the ball of sunshine on the normal stoic — but look quite frantic — Satoshi and some shinobi even going as far as to laugh at the panic on Satoshi’s face when Naruto leaned just too far over to look at something.
“GREAT RIVAL!” Anko snorted as Gai landed in front of him, walking backwards, “I CHALLENGE YOU TO A HAND WALKING COMPETITION!”
“Did you say something?” Kakashi asked, walking around Gai even as Gai started bawling.
“SO HIP!”
“Hound-nii-“ Kakashi’s heart squeezed at the suffix. “Why is he so weird?”
Kakashi shrugged, “No one really knows.” They left Anko behind to distract Gai as they made their way to Ichiraku. Every now and again, he’d feel Naruto flinch, but every time he looked up, the kid was marveling at a new stand.
Kakashi shrugged, smiling when Naruto let out a gleeful laugh at the sight of Ichiraku. “Ramen!” he cheered. Kakashi smiled, lifting Naruto off of his shoulders and letting him run into the stand. Kakashi ducked in, waving at Teuchi and Ayame.
“Evening, Teuchi-san, Ayame-san,” Satoshi said, bowing slightly before taking a seat.
“Yo, Teuchi-san, Ayame-san,” Kakashi greeted, picking up and plopping Naruto down on the seat in between Satoshi and he.
“Hi, ramen-san!” Naruto beamed, hopping up and down in his seat.
Teuchi chuckled, “Hello, Naruto-kun,” he greeted. “What can I get you?”
“Three miso ramen, please,” Satoshi said, taking out his wallet. Kakashi let him, he was the one that offered to take out Naruto.
“Coming right up!” Teuchi said, turning to help Ayame.
“What this, Hound-nii?” Naruto asked, pointing to a picture of naruto.
Satoshi choked on a snort. “That’s called a naruto,” Kakashi said.
“But I’m Naruto?” the kid pointed a confused finger at him self. A horrified look crossed his face, “They make that out of me?” he asked.
Kakashi sighed, “No, they make it out of something your named after.”
“But I’m Naruto!” he whined.
“Naruto-kun,” Teuchi whispered, place the ramen in front of them, “the naruto are named after you.”
It was utterly baffling how Naruto bought that. It should be common sense that he was named after the food, but it placated Naruto, so Kakashi took the win for what it was.
“Thanks for the food,” the three said, Naruto immediately digging into the food while Kakashi and Satoshi ate at a lot more sedated pace.
Life was good, despite Kakashi’s ever persistent self-loathing, he wasn’t going to leave Naruto alone. Not when Naruto looked at him and called him ‘Hound-nii’. Not even if he felt the sense that he was going to ruin the kid.
It wasn’t his fault this time. If Naruto comes out of this ANBU arrangement with hyper senses and a knack for finding ANBU despite them trying to hide, well. That was the Hokage’s fault. Not his.