Paper Dance

PAST

As I held the white flowers in my hands, I immediately get in my car and drove at where Itachi's  grave was.

Today is his Death Anniversary, it's been so long since I've seen my beloved brother. The last time I saw him was , when he was  laying with his own blood, eyes are half-closed and basically waiting for me to arrive.

To finally say his final goodbye,

It hurts me so much to think about what happened that day, especially the reason why my brother died, and who was behind my brother's death.

I was 18 when I last saw him, when I last felt his warmth, when I last heard him calling me 'my foolish little brother', and when I last heard him say 'forgive me sasuke,' 

And now, I am visiting his grave, at the age of 33.

I'll be lying when I say, I didn't miss my older brother at all. He's my everything, the one who I looked up to, the one who I've been chasing after when I was a little.

I remembered that my brother will always be there to protect me, he will always be there to give me the comfort and advices I always needed. He shower me all his love, he never failed to make me happy. Even though sometimes, he will leave me because of his work.

As I stepped outside of my car, I head towards the small mini house that is guarded by a white gate, I saw the Uchiha clan symbol at the top of the gate. And there, inside of the gate were my brother, mother, and father's grave.

Yeah, that's right. My mother and father's grave. All of my family left me alone. They left me behind, and they didn't take me with them.

I will be lying again if I say I didn't think of ending my life nor attempting to self-harm. I already tried to attempt countless of times, but unfortunately I can't die, or should I say they won't let me die.

Thanks to Kakashi, Sakura, and him—Naruto I guess, they stopped me from my failed attempts and they taught me how to move forward and live my life to the fullest.

I opened the gate and put the white flowers in front of Itachi's grave and lighted the small candle that I bought, I also put the different colours of tulips in front of mom's and dad's grave.

As I watch the 'Uchiha Itachi' name in front of me, I can't help myself but stifle a small sob.

Ah, i hate this.

"I missed you so much."

I hate you, niisan.

I hate you for making me this so sad.

But I love you, for always making me your first priority. I love you for always protecting and taking care of me.

Why is it always me who's protected by everyone?

"Niisan."

I sat in front of my family's graves. I sat there with complete silence for about 30 minutes and without moving.

"Mother. Father. Nii-san, when will I be able to see you three again?" I asked my family

"It hurts. It still hurts. I want to be with you three again. I want to see you."

Is it wrong of me to begged my love ones to take me with them?

Is it wrong of me to begged the Gods or whoever to take me to where my parents and brother was?

I'm sick. I'm tired. How long should I need to keep on breathing in this cruel world?

"Sasuke, know that even though we're living in this cruel world. I can't hate it. How can I hate the world who gave me, you? Always remember that even if this world is cruel, I will love you always."

If only I knew. I should've known. I should have been there. I should've stopped it. I could've save them both.

I let my mind wander for a bit, not wanting to voice out once again about my thoughts and just maintained  the silence that I found comforting and only hearing a crow's noise and the silent waves of wind.

Waves of wind, huh?

After a minute or two I decided to get up and headed to a place where I think I needed to go to, a place where I think I'll be able to find a comfort from this sadness that is swallowing me.

I bid my goodbye to my family and promised them to visit them before I go home.

I drove my car to where I wanted to visit, a place where everything started.

As I walked in this field of dandelions, the waves of wind immediately joined. It was as if they were waiting for me.

As I stood there, I watch how the dandelions dance together with the wind. How a small particle of leaves join the dance between the two.

"It's been a while, huh?" I uttered and inhaled the fresh air that I once again found so comforting.

I slowly laid down and smiled a little, this is comforting. Everything is so comforting.

As I closed my eyes, I immediately regret it afterwards. Because I remembered him. I saw his handsome face when I closed my eyes. I saw his big grin that always made my heart flutter.

Yes, I remembered him. The one and only stupid looking blonde kid, or should I say blonde-man?

I missed you

I missed him so much.

Everything was so fine in the past, everything went well, everything—everyone was so fine—so happy—-and then—-what went wrong?

Is it because of me?

Of course it does. Who else's fault it was?

I let my mind drift in the past, the past, the past that when everything was all about him. The one who took my firsts. My first love, my first kiss, my first holding hands, and basically my everything.

He's name? He's Naruto Uzumaki.

We both share the same goals, the same desire and the same insights. We both may argue with some little things but we're fine, we are okay. He dreamt on becoming the Head of the Konoha Company, his father's company.

He dreamt on gaining everyone's acknowledgement, and so did i.

I dreamt on helping Itachi making our father's company successful, I dreamt on Father's acknowledgement.

Naruto and I made an oath, a promise that we both should pursue our dreams. To move forward even if we're losing hope.

Naruto thought me that I shouldn't give up no matter what the circumstances is, he also thought me not to mind what everyone else thinks about. But he's the one who didn't took his advice.

Naruto is just like my late brother, always putting others before theirselves.

Maybe that's also one of the reasons why I loved him.

I opened my eyes and lift my right hand when I picked a paper—a torn old paper—

'promise—'

Is all I read, I sadly smiled at the piece of torn paper, this was basically from me.

After all this is the place where I tore that paper, this is the place where I let the torned paper dance with the wind that was accompanied by the dandelions and a fragments of leaves.

I closed my eyes again and reminisce the days that everything was okay, the days that I am with him, the days that I will always smile because of his stupid face.

God knows how much I missed him. What are you doing now, dobe? Do you miss me too? Do you want to see me too?

More importantly, are you happy now Naruto?

I chuckled as I saw his stupid grin in the back of my mind. Why do I always think about you dobe?

Do you not want me to move on from you?

"Keep moving forward, Sasuke. I'll always got your back."

I smiled when I heard Itachi's voice. I can still remember his voice. I'm glad.

I lifted my right hand and poke my own forehead, remembering on how itachi loved to do it back at the old days.

He will always poke my forehead and say, "I'm sorry sasuke, maybe some other time."

I thought I hated it. Turns out I never do. It's just his small gesture but I loved it.

I stared at the clouds that were forming into a crow, a bird that will always remind me of Itachi.

I wanted to reminisce the past. I wanted to remember it still and burry it deep in my memory. I don't want to forget, I'll just memorise it and make those memories become my inspiration to continue to live.

While I'm waiting for my life to be taken away, so that I'll be with my Nii-san and parents already.

"SASUKE." ITACHI CALLED.

"Niisan?" I relpied without turning my head towards him.

I am busy reading a novel that was written by Jiraiya. The Gutsy Ninja.

"I'll be coming home late later, don't wait me for dinner okay? Mom and dad will probably be home next week." He said as he completely entered my room

"Okay." I answered, I already expected that he will be coming home late later. So it's nothing for me, I guess.

"Don't worry. I promise to drive you at school tomorrow. Besides it's your first day right?" he said, I looked up at him and saw his warm smile.

I smiled at him and hide my small blush, he was always considerate about my feelings.

"Okay. Take care." I said

"Mm. Don't miss me too much. Foolish little brother." He chuckled and turn his back against me.

"Go away, Itachi niisan." I replied, the annoyance didn't hide.

As he headed outside of my room, I closed the novel that I was reading and look at the clock that was on my night stand.

5:45 pm

I guess I'll take a little nap and wake up after 30 minutes to eat dinner. The maids are just downstairs so it'll be okay. I'm not alone today.

"GOOD MORNING, LITTLE BROTHER." Itachi greeted me as I walked downstairs, it's already 6:30 in the morning and he just arrived.

"Good Morning, Niisan." I greeted him back as I head towards him giving him a soft punch in his stomach.

"Mm. Go have your breakfast. I'll get change and we'll head to your school." He said after poking my forehead.

"Is it okay? You just gotten home right? Aren't you tired?" I said looking up at him

"It's okay. I did promise you after all." He replied and quickly headed upstairs in his room to change.

I nodded silently and quickly grab some sandwiches and drink a small portion of juice. I waited for Itachi to go down while chewing on my sandwich. I don't have any appetite, I'm not hungry but if I don't eat anything or something itachi will get mad.

After 5 minutes of waiting, itachi finally headed downstairs and he quickly grab some sandwiches and motion me to follow him.

"7 am is the start of your school, am I right?" He ask as we entered his car

"How did you know?" I ask him back while fastening my own seat belt

"Your big brother is always watching you, foolish little brother." He said as he started the engine, his sandwich is at his left hand.

"That's not something good to brag about." I replied

He only replied with a soft chuckle and then started heading out towards Konoha high.

The school is not far from our house but itachi still insisted to drive me there. It's only 15 minutes ride to get there, actually.

"Will you be okay in your first day?" He suddenly ask and a sudden realization hits me.

I'm not good at socializing with others

But who cares? It's okay, I think I can manage.

"Hn," I answered

I'm still not even stepping a foot at Konoha but my anxiety literally just went up, damn you Itachi.

"Try your best to make friends, okay? You know it's not good for your self if you will continue to isolate yourself to others." He said

"Hn, I'll try."

'I'll try' , I'm not even thinking of socializing with others, it's not that I'm not okay to be friends with anyone but it's just that, I don't know?

Also, Father hates it. So it's a big no.

Most of the time I prefer to be alone, because that will be the only time where I can understood myself, my feelings, my emotions, my desire. And I don't want people to interfere with my life.

But, honestly Itachi is right, sometimes, maybe sometimes it's not bad to have someone to have your back. Always.

But a sudden memory prevents me for doing it. I just—-can't. I don't want to go through that same shit anymore.

I thought itachi will only drive me to school but as soon as I stepped outside of his car, he followed afterwards.

"Eh? What are you doing? Aren't you going home?" I ask him but he just smiled and drag me inside of the campus

As soon as we entered lots of eyes landed on us. Well, what else would I expect? The guy that was with me is Uchiha Itachi after all. The heir of Uchiha Company and the soon head of Police Force.

A good looking prodigy, a smart ass guy, tall, and what else? I don't know? He's perfect. I guess.

No, he's literally perfect, father will always compliment him and will always say 'as expected, that's my boy.' After itachi do something good.

But me? Well, the last time I check after I presented him my report card last school year he just said, 'that's good, keep up the good work and be like your big brother itachi.'

It's always the itachi here and itachi there, is it really hard for father to just say 'that's my boy.' At me for once?

All of my existence, I always tried my best to become just like my brother to make father proud. But is it really okay tho? Am I really doing this for myself or I'm just copying itachi in order for me to get awknowledge by father?

"Do you want me pick you up later after school?" Itachi ask as we walk side by side

"No. It's okay. You have to rest, you know." I replied

"Okay. Head to your classroom, I'll just visit Kakashi." He said and poke my forehead after.

"See you later, Sasuke." He smiled, I touch my forehead and rolled my eyes.

"Your just making me as your excuse for you to visit Kakashi. Am I right?" I said, and quickly face my back towards him after I saw how his eyes went slightly wide.

"Enjoy. See you later, Niisan." I bid my goodbye and immediately rush to the stairs. My classroom is at the second floor for my first subject. I didn't look back at itachi but I know for sure that he was stunned at my reply earlier.

After all he was always treating me his foolish little brother without him knowing that i know that he and that kakashi have a thing.

But I don't know if father already knew it and already approved it. So I just kept my mouth shut.

As soon as I entered the classroom all eyes landed on me, I ignored them and went straight ahead to the seat near the window.

"Is that Uchiha Itachi's little brother? OMG!"

"Mm! And I heard Uchiha Itachi drove him here! He's so good-looking. I won't be surprise if he's also smart and talented just like his big brother." Said by the girls that are just one seat away from me.

I just looked outside of the window and didn't mind them, besides I'm already used to it. Everytime they see me, it's always the 'Itachi's kid brother' like hello? I have my name? I'm Uchiha Sasuke.

I look at the clock that is hanging above the white board in front and saw that we still have 7 minutes before our teacher will arrive.

I sighed, this boredom. I hate it.

And then something click inside of my head and immediately search for my schedule, if I'm not wrong that Kakashi will be my teacher for my History and English class.

And bingo, Kakashi is my first class. And I bet all of my money that he will come late because of Itachi. No, actually he's always late. That's what I heard.

I rested my face at my fist and continued to watch the crows outside of the window when suddenly someone sat beside me.

I turned towards them and give them a bored look.

"Yo, Uchiha." Who's he again?

"Nara. Nara Shikamaru." He said yawning, as if he read my mind.

"Hn," the reply I only said

"Is it okay if I'm going to seat here? It's too troublesome to head at the back where Choji is." He ask

"I guess." I answered.

Ah, I don't really know how to communicate with others.

"Shikamaru, right?" I asked him while looking outside of the window again.

"Hm?"

"Do you know my name?" I asked him

I don't know why I asked him of some stupid question. But, if Shikamaru knows, I'll definitely going to try my best to make friends with him.

I may have gather lots of attention but, those attentions weren't exactly for me, they were only giving me because I am Itachi's Kid Brother and the son of the one of the richest, Uchiha Fugaku.

They didn't even bother to ask my name and just call me, 'Itachi's kid brother' . It's annoying.

"Did you hit your head while waking up earlier? You're Uchiha Sasuke. Right?" As shikamaru replied, I turned to face him again.

He slightly was surprised by my attention, because I know, my eyes were full of happiness and hope, that finally someone awknowledge my name and didn't call me 'Itachi's kid brother'

"You know, why don't you join me and choji later at lunch?" He ask, I was hesitant at first but nodded afterwards.

"Alright, it's settled then. But, I'm warning you. We have a friend, a girl, which will totally be wild later if she'll saw you joining us." He chuckled,

"Hn," I replied. It's not that I'm okay with it but, I want to be friends with Shikamaru, so maybe I'll get used to 'that' girl.

"Good Morning, Everyone!" All of our eyes immediately landed towards the guy who just entered the classroom.

He's wearing his grin smile, both hands were open above while he is still at the door.

"Is he our teacher?" I asked shikamaru, it's not a serious question by the way.

I know that Kakashi is our teacher for our first subject.

"You have fever, Sasuke?" Shikamaru ask sarcastically.

"Who's he?" I once again ask, referring to the blond who just entered the classroom that is now sitting besides the brunette guy that has a triangle tattoo at his cheek, just like the blond, the brunette were also wearing his grin smile.

Are they Idiots?

"Hm, if I remembered clearly he is  the son of the Namikaze. So I guess he's Naruto." Shikamaru said

'Naruto, huh?' I thought

I once again turn my attention towards the window, and Shikamaru being lazy as he is spend his remaining minutes to sleep.

That Kakashi, what's he doing with my Niisan?

'Do I even need to know?' I question myself and then sigh

After 15 minutes or so someone suddenly open the door and all eyes turned towards them.

Kakashi..

"Arara, I'm sorry I'm late I just helped some old man to comeback to his right path of life." He said as he walked straight to the teachers table infront of us.

"That's a lie, right?" A certain brunette ask him and Kakashi just smile underneath his mask

He introduced himself and just oriented us about our whole semester explaining that he won't go easy on us when it comes to discussions and homeworks.

He will be also our homeroom Teacher for the whole school year, great. Just great.

As he discuss infront of us I didn't failed to notice the glow of Kakashi's face as he happily read some history from the book his holding.

He's discussing about the history of Madara and Hashirama, how the two of them rivaled each other, how the two of them became friends to enemies to friends again and back to killing each other again.

Hashirama was into Madara, he loves his friend Madara to the point he wanted to kill him to stop Madara's bad doings. And Madara being Madara, he did those things from believing that the written propechy in the stone was true, little did he know that he was being used.

As Kakashi wants to continue the discussion the bell rang so he dismiss the class and went outside first.

"What's your next class, Sasuke?" Shikamaru ask and a certain fatso stand beside him, eating his potato chips.

"Chemistry. Yours?"

"Math. And by the way, this is Choji." He said as he motion the guy choji beside him

"Sasuke." I introduced myself and he gave me his warm smile

"Hello Sasuke, Nice Meeting you. I'm hoping to become your friend. By the way want some?" He said as he handed me his potato snack

"No, thanks." I replied and we continue to walk at the hallway.

"Yup, but I want to ditch class, but I also can't because your going to scold me, right Shikamaru?" Choji chuckled as Shikamaru yawn

"Glad you knew. Later." Shikamaru bid a goodbye and Choji drag me to our next class, I wanted to protest but Choji is well, he's Choji so I let him drag me by my wrist.

As soon as we entered the classroom Choji let me sit beside the window which I totally appreciated. And he sat beside me, opening another pack of his potato chips.

Our next class is Chemistry which I think will be Kurenai. As we waited for our teacher to arrive some girls started to squeal as if they saw some celebrity—which is true because when I turned towards the door I saw my big brother smiling warmly at me and he motion his hands that I should come to him for a sec.

"Excuse me, Choji." I said to Choji and he nodded still busy eating his chips.

I heard some faint murmurs around me but I didn't hear them because I was trying so hard not to mind them.

"What do you want, Niisan?" I ask Itachi as soon as I reach him

"Nothing. I just wanted to say goodbye before I go home. Call me when you want me to pick you up, okay?" He said. I raised both of my brows as I notice the glow in Niisan's face like Kakashi.

I put my right hand in my waist and lean on my side, watching my niisan quietly and intently. Something seems different. He's all tired and slightly gloomy earlier but he's...glowing now?

Did Kakashi put some new bulb inside of my brother's body?

Is he the 'old man'  Kakashi was reffering to earlier?

"W-what? Is t-there s-something in my face S-sasuke?" Niisan ask, his face held some concern reaction and his hands are attempting to reach me. I sigh.

"Just some stress marks. Go home already Niisan. I thought you were tired?" I ask

"Y-yeah." He replied a bit confuse.

"Then, why did you let Kakashi ravish you?" I bluntly asked him.

And that caught him off guard. His eyes widen and his neck and ears were red, a faint blush were also visible in his cheeks.

"Don't worry Niisan. The baby Uchiha will keep his mouth shut." I said with some teasing tone and eyed his neck again.

I smirked as I saw some visible hickeys at his neck, I also notice that he seems too much tired than earlier but he still glows.

Maybe that's the effect of their Love-Making?

"You're so wild, Niisan. And by the way, get rid of those hickeys." I said winking at him and left him doumbfounded outside of the room.

As I sat beside choji he hit my side with his elbow, gently.

"Neh, no offense but your big brother looks dumb. His all flustered. What did you do?" He ask, I smirked at Choji.

"Nothing."

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