eleven for health
A strange mix of exhausted and elated Madara reached, not for the liminal waters of the afterlife but for the most comforting person he could think of, the one that had always been there for him his entire life and must have passed on already for Faria to be taking clan head. Izuna’s space in the Pure Lands was like Kosuke’s a recreation of the old Uchiha main house, but this time from the old compound where they had grown up with its dark fire-hardened iron wood and defensive measures scattered throughout and Madara could feel himslef relaxing just being in the old space and his soft black yukata with white tome along the hems. Relaxing a bit Madara turned, looking around the front space “Izuna!” he shouted, always the easiest way to find his brother in this big house (the one in Konoha had been smaller) “Hey, Izuna!” nothing for a moment and then a thundering of footsteps that heralded Izuna charging down the stairs and always had. A moment later his little brother, only a few years older than Madara had last seen him by looks, burst around the corner, wide eyed, “Kami give thanks!” Izuna breathed “It’s about time you got here! I have been doing my best to take care of it but who the fuck knows what a feather needs to be healthy when it's actually a soul shard!” his little brother rambled without breathing, clearly freaking out and had been for quite a while now as Madara’s mouth dropped open – Izuna had a feather? Why would Izuna have a feather?...why wouldn’t Izuna have a feather, now that Madara thought about it it made sense; Tobirama had gone to a lot of work to keep Izuna alive for Madara and known that killing Izuna was something Madara would never be able to forgive, there was a lot of worry and fear invested in Izuna on top of their own private relationship. So of course Izuna had a feather, what Madara should be focused on was why Izuna was so freaked out about it – no one else had been worried.
“Izuna, Izuna! Just, take me to the feather ok?” Madara soothed in his most calming voice, and his little brother nodded frantically, darting back up the stairs with Madara on his heels. The feather was in Izuna’s room, on a cushion on the windowsill in the late summer sunlight; it was another secondary feather, though smaller and…strangely worn, not like some had been tattered or bloody or messy, but, thin, like it was fading away to nothing in the sunlight and Madara didn’t think before launching himself to it, taking the fragment of Tobirama’s soul up in his hands; shuddering as the weak, flickering warmth rushed through him, Tobirama’s unyielding stubbornness pressing against Madara’s fingers in the soft barbs that stayed soft and never cut Izuna no matter what and the shaft strong with the stubbornness that had pushed him into blackmailing all of Fire into doing his will through sheer refusal to take no. As Madara adjusted to the strength of Tobirama’s sheer stubbornness the feather in his hands seemed to solidify, the fading look vanishing as it solidified, Izuna on his toes peering over his shoulder sighed and slumped in relief, his brow thunk-ing on Madara’s shoulder; “Thank the kami, I was so worried it would vanish before I figured out how to find you, I was just about to try and find mother again and see if she had any clue where your soul had gone rather than the Pure Lands.”
Ok, this was worrying, “What do you mean you thought it would vanish?” Madara snapped, cradling the feather to his chest but not pressing it through his skin yet as he stroked the soft barbs (none of the other feathers had showed any signs of vanishing!). Izuna grimaced, “I don’t know! It just showed up here after I died and I found it, I knew what it was the second I touched it and I left it on the window ever since sense I thought it was yours, you know, being part of your soulmate and all, I just – I kept waiting for you and checking on the feather and noticed recently that it was starting to look a bit see through which, you know, was worrying!” Izuna was pacing and waving his hands and Madara softened, tightness around his mouth easing as he watched his brother act exactly as Izuna always had; taking a deep breath Madara pressed the feather to his chest, shuddering and dropping to one knee as the weight of such a fundamental part of Tobirama dropped on him again (it was getting overwhelming, carrying so much of his soulmate around in his chest), gasping as he adjusted to the weight of another fragment of his soulmate (surely there couldn’t be that many more?), vaguely aware that tears were leaking down his cheeks and that Izuna was freaking out now, kneeling at Madara’s side his hands fluttering in fear as he tried to sort out what to do about the brother that he had never seen cry.
“’m fine” Madara forced out, “I’m fine, it’s just – a lot, that’s all, Tobirama – he, his life was so fucked up Izuna you have no idea, so fucked up.” Exhausted and wiping at this cheeks, Madara sat back to lean against the wall, eyeing his brother through eyes that sill leaked slow tears. Izuna was chewing at his lip, crossing his legs and playing with his clothing, “I – I have some idea, I wasn’t exactly close to Tobirama but…I fought him for a long time, it wasn’t hard to guess that his father was the worst sort” Madara snorted, yeah, that was one way of putting it “and that he didn’t want to be doing what he was doing and it was very clear his and Hashirama’s relationship was messed up in the extreme.” Now that – that was interesting, Madara raised his head to look at his brother, remembering the burned out tree and the lack of Hashirama in this search for Tobirama’s soul. “What do you mean?” Madara asked hoarsely and Izuna shrugged gracelessly, “I’m not sure exactly, all I know is that Tobirama almost never interacted with his brother and treated Hashirama more like a superior than a brother; I – I gather from a few comments I heard that Hashirama never really got over his brother ‘betraying’ you and him to his father, even though I am betting Tobirama got the worst punishment from it and given his range-“ “He could feel us meeting from the beginning,” Madara breathed “and he only told Butsuma after he felt you go for father.” Izuna nodded, twisting his clothing.
“I thought about it a lot after Saburo told us the truth” his mouth twisted slightly in displeasure “I just – he must have been so jealous of Hashirama for being your friend and never telling him when you were his soulmate and like, I know Hashirama can be stupid but…” he clicked his tongue “I don’t know, I saw how it ate at him after Tobirama died and how he defended his brother after Tobirama left but…” “Too little too late” Madara breathed, thinking of how it must have chewed at Tobirama to stay away from Madara to keep his brother’s friendship safe while Hashirama told him nothing, taking his father’s attention the entire time to keep Hashirama safe while they played at the water, happy and young and Tobirama knowing and no doubt hating himself for how jealous he felt over it – and then his brother never treated him the same after. And that was without what Hashirama had confided to Madara about how he didn’t agree with Tobirama’s ways of making peace and fought them until Tobirama did it anyway – only to then take the spoils and run with them and the credit; oh, eventually he had told Konoha how much Tobirama had done but it had taken a long time and only after Tobirama was long gone. All those nights alone in the Tower making the village work, all the pain and sweat and lack of sleep and Tobirama never was around to take any of the credit he was due; all those years that Tobirama worked alone and hoped quietly and – kami, he had looked so much older than Izuna, he had died younger than Izuna but the Tobirama in the memory of his death had looked years older. No wonder his brother wasn’t one of the places his feathers had landed, Tobirama must have extremely conflicting feelings about the older Senju but in the end, when Yuki-onna was mostly running things, it made sense that his feeling for his brother was symbolized by a burned out husk.
“Shit” Madara breathed, leaning his head back on the wall, “that’s one place I can’t look then and now they are fading. Fuck.” He paused “Why are they fading?” Izuna winced, shifting awkwardly, “I – I think he might be, um, dying of grief. Or fading of it, it's just that there is this sense of impossible sadness in him when I come near the feather.” Madara frowned, worried, what if there was a time limit on this? “But – I don’t know how many more fragments there is to collect.” He breathed Izuna shifting again, “What do you mean? More feathers? How many? What’s going on?” heaving an exhausted sigh Madara told his brother what he could about the quest he had been on and all the places that he had found Tobirama’s soul though he tried to gloss over the situation in which he had found them. Still, Izuna’s jaw dropped as he listened, looking flabbergasted and a little horrified, finally breathing “He – he basically Centered on you at five? And then he was – he hated himself so much that he found a way to break the bond at fourteen in case he hurt me and then even though he never did he kept hating himself so much he fragmented his own mind? He thought he wasn’t worthy of you!? MY rival? He was my rival, he had to be epic and amazing and – I – he – that brat!” and Madara had to snort at the sheer outrage in his brother’s voice, the way that Izuna sounded personally offended by Tobirama’s self-image; it was sort of nice having it be taken this way, it lessened the pain a bit to have Izuna- always endearingly self-centered- take it as a personal attack rather than the fucking tragedy that it truly was.
“Hey, Izuna” Madara said, tired but curious as his brother kept muttering about Tobirama not taking their rivalry seriously enough, “how do you get information here anyway? I was told that you hear when like really big things go down but do you get any other info?” Izuna blinked at him, mind shifting tracks with a nearly audible grinding. “I – we can hear prayers sent to us- or just the blood ancestors if we have descendants- so if they talk about what’s going on in the word we hear it; but, well, it’s very biased information you can imagine, so it has to be treated with some suspicion. It’s a bit hard to tell what’s real and what’s not and we can’t do shit about it, so I try not to listen too intently though I do keep an ear out for the kids.” Madara’s eyes narrowed at that, “How did you die Izuna? It can’t have been that long after me and your son had just been born when I went, you had a second one?” Izuna had had kids late for shinobi, but it had taken him a while to sort things out with his soulmate and Madara had never minded, just impressed Izuna had sorted it out given how tangled things were and then gone on to have any kids.
“I – well, after you died Hashirama took the hat but in the meantime, while we were in turmoil over losing two such powerful nin Iwa and Kiri decided to attack Uzushio and Konoha was bound to send shinobi to help. We beat off the invasion and Kiri isn’t going to recover anytime soon but…I got a wound, it got infected before I got to a healer and….my second son was born while I was gone in Uzu, I wasn’t there when he was even named.” Izuna had a hand pressed over his side and a sad look on his face and Madara winced; it was hard to care about the events of the living world all that much- though he was pissed at Hashirama- but he could see that it brothered Izuna to have died without seeing his second child’s face. “I’m sorry Izuna” Madara murmured and his brother shrugged, cracking a tired smile, “They are getting raised right, their mother will do right by them even with how much of a mess as things are. I am dead and not ready to return so, really, it’s none of my business. Which – Madara, you should get on looking for the rest of the feathers, who knows how long you have left and time passes strangely here. Just, take care of yourself, ok?”
Feeling oddly morose Madara nodded, pushing himslef to his feet, (why did it feel like this was the last time he would see his brother?) hauling Izuna into a squirmy hug as the younger Uchiha muttered about Madara’s hug feeling weird and heavy. “Take care of yourself and go see our other brothers and tell them how I am yeah?” Madara muttered, Izuna stilling in surprise, “Didn’t you know that Kuro already came back? Reina was always a bit smarter than she should have been. And Kou reincarnated a while ago though I don’t know where he went, Toga is the only one still lingering and he is thinking about moving on, trying a Senju on for size maybe. But, when I see him next I will pass on your love.” Huh, that, Madara rather liked that, that his sister had come back as his all too clever first child and this time with a body that matched her gender; good for her! It was a spark of joy in the heavy quest he was on, a weight that fell over him again as Madara stepped back, hands on Izuna’s shoulders, “I love you, you know that right?” he asked softly and Izuna’s face softened, covering Madara’s hand with his own, “I know, I know Mada, now, go get your soulmate fixed up and heal, it's time for you to live for you too.” And with those words Madara reached and stepped back onto the dim waters, unwilling to hear a true goodbye from his baby brother. Only, now where? And how long did he have left to fix this?