eight for a wish
Returning to the liminal waters was both a disappointment and a relief, Madara’s fatigue dragging at him in a spiritual way though there was no body to grow weary. Exhausted he slumped to the water and rubbed at his face, glad to have a little silence and peace – was this the first time he had been alone since he died? Well, not alone, he had the warm thrum of Tobirama’s fragmented soul in his chest, comforting and burdening and wonderful; tired Madara curled over his legs and rested his head on his knees, letting his eyes drift closed and coming as close to dozing as he could, mind absently churning under his slowly easing fatigue, (where would Tobirama’s soul go? He had some ideas but none he was ready to face yet, but –) there was a tug in his chest and Madara turned to look at the mirror with sleepy eyes and – wait, the silver was misting over and Madara could see another memory forming in the surface, one he hadn’t called into existence nor had anyone else. How-? Another tug in his chest and slowly Madara stood, fatigue fading as he approached; was – was Tobirama actually trying to help him find himslef? It sparked Madara’s guttering hope and he licked his lips, was he ready to face another memory of Tobirama’s past? Another bloody soulmate?
Did it matter?
A slow stuttering breath, no, no it didn’t, Tobirama was reaching out, at least a little in some way and Madara wasn’t about to ignore that, one more breath and he pressed a hand to the mirror and stepped through, Indra coming to the front in a rush to distance Madara and keep him being recognized by the memory, dressed in black hakama with white tomoe at the hems and mesh armor. A glance around showed him to his surprise that this was Konoha in its early days, dusty back-streets and the trenches for the plumping half dug up still; this must have been very soon after the village was formed, only a few months if he didn’t miss his guess. “Shhh” the soft hushing behind him had Indra whipping around and fading back into the shadows, blinking in surprise at the sight of Tobirama, young and bright eyed and alive the way he so often hadn’t been since he was a small child in the first memory and leaning over a Uchiha child with curly hair; Kagami’s eyes wide and a small hand slapped over his mouth as Tobirama pressed a long finger to his lips, “hush Kagami, if you're too loud one of your clan might come asking questions and I don’t think they would like me teaching you.” Tobirama chided gently, running his fingers through the curly hair as the child giggled into his hands, Tobirama smiling slightly but warmly down at him.
Finally Kagami got his giggles under control and pulled his hands down, speaking in a child’s loud whisper, “I don’ know, Madara-shishou seems to like you a bit more now.” the child confided and some of the brightness in Tobirama’s smile dimmed, running his fingers through Kagami’s curly hair again, “I – I don’t know, just because he’s not trying to kill me doesn’t mean he wants me around.” The albino said gently, clearly trying to be kind as his head came up, “But never mind that, run along now, someone is coming, I’ll find you for another lesson soon, ‘k?” Kagami pouted, little lip sticking out as he sighed and kicked at the dust; finally sighing and rushing forward to hug Tobirama and then vanishing between the buildings as the albino rose to his feet, eyes watching the child go with something bittersweet. “You know the clan would never let you teach him.” Tobirama grimaced and glanced back at his cousin over his shoulder as Touka approached, her face grim and clearly worried for her all-but-brother as Tobirama murmured “I know. Things haven’t improved that much yet and certainly not with me, but….” Touka sighed, throwing her arm over Tobirama’s shoulders, “But you have always loved children, you know you can have your own right?” and Tobirama’s mouth twisted slightly, eyes on where Kagami had vanished.
"No, no I can’t, you know my soulmate is Uchiha and male, you really think that children are in the cards for me?” Tobirama asked softly, something wry and tired around his mouth, Touka wincing at his shoulder and pulling him in closer. “I – I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I know you – I’m sorry.” He shrugged into her, leaning slightly into her a saying in a softer voice, “At least now I have a chance to maybe try something with them someday, not anytime soon of course but without war…” Tobirama’s voice trailed off on a little hopeful lilt that just shattered Indra’s heart, knowing how this would all end. Touka eyed him with clear affection, pressing her lips to Tobirama’s hair in a rough kiss, “That’s right, give it some time and ease into it, at least your boy will have to listen since the Uchiha like soulmates a lot more than the Senju do now so you will have a chance to at least get an entire sentence out! And then you can adopt the little spark and collect all the orphans I see you eyeing everyday and be happy with your piles of cats and children yeah?”
Tobirama giggled into her shoulder, shoving away with a flush on his high cheekbones and tops of his ears and a small irrepressible smile, “Shut up, let’s not get ahead of ourselves ok, he might not want any of that much less me; there is plenty of reason for him not too or to need children of his own blood, you know how they are about the Sharingan bloodlines. But what do you mean about them and soulmates?” His white head cocked, thick hair fluttering and Indra’s heart squeezed again, this Tobirama reminded him of the small child that had first found Madara, the one that still hoped and wanted and didn’t yet hate himslef so completely – or at least had started healing from it with peace and children and projects that didn’t drench him in blood. Touka laughed, shaking her head, “I’ll tell you about it over dinner if you come over, got it?” she asked, smiling a toothy smile and Tobirama fondly rolled his eyes, grudgingly nodding, “I’ll be there now get out of here, we can’t both come out of a dark corner or people will think we’re plotting.” At that Touka rolled her eyes but didn’t disagree, hopping up the walls and over the roofs as Tobirama rubbed his face, whispering, “I hope – I want that, I wish – “ he broke off, shaking his head with a small, sad, twisted smile “I don’t want to be…” but he didn’t finish.
Now slightly confused and not understanding why he had been brought here and now Indra stepped forward out of the shadows, fighting his own surprised blink when Tobirama didn’t so much as twitch when he appeared out of seemingly nothing, just blinking red eyes at him with vague confusion. “Huh,” Tobirama murmured “you’re new. What are you called?” Indra stared – that – had – huh? What did Tobirama mean ‘what was he called’? Why wasn’t the albino more surprised to have Indra show up out of nowhere and, well, Indra was fairly sure that Indra didn’t register in Tobirama’s sensing given this was a memory so why wasn’t he reacting more? As a child it hadn’t been so strange, or when he was dying or in a mashed up mess of distorted memory, but this? This was an adult memory made in peace with clear edges on the buildings and no signs that Tobirama had made it in an altered mental state…..right? “I – Indra, I am called Indra now.” he answered slowly, watching Tobirama’s head tilt again, “You reminded me of my soulmate. I’m not sure why, he certainly doesn’t have the silly eyebrows, but – Indra was supposed to be the legendary ancestor of the Uchiha right? So, you must be something to do with that, only, why would he….” Tobirama trailed off, a thoughtful pinch between his brows as Indra’s fingers flew to his own, confused as fuck; he had funny eyebrows?...ok, he sort of had funny eyebrows, but the rest of it – what the fuck was going on here?
Tobirama flicked his fingers as though dismissing a thought, glancing toward where Indra had come from, “Do you think it is possible? For an Uchiha to ever choose me? I know – I know that I – what I am, the Yuki-onna and the White Demon and Hashirama’s attack dog and – but, still, is there a chance? I know – I would never even dream of it normally but my only real dream was not burying any more small children, teaching kids that I didn’t send to die before they could even write a poem! All I ever wanted was to keep my brothers alive, I just, and then I got that – I got my dream so far and that’s amazing – I –“ he shook his head, biting his lip and tugging at his hair, “no, no, I know better, he - he would never, I shouldn’t even wish-“ no, just, no. Indra darted forward, closing his still larger hand around Tobirama’s and unpeeling the long cold fingers out of the thick, coarse white hair, gripping tightly enough to bruise as he forced the albino’s hands down, “Now” Indra crooned “none of that stardust, no hurting yourself allowed around me alright?” Wide red eyes stared at Indra in clear shock, a flick of pink tongue over chapped and cracking lips before he spoke in a near whisper, “You’re nice. That – that’s not normal, and – did I fall asleep? Faint? How are you touching me? None of you should be able to touch me, unless, have – has – but, no, not now, that’s doesn’t make sense – I don’t understand, I –“
Tobirama was clearly getting frantic and Indra slipped both thin wrists into one hand, significantly more worried now, as he gathered the albino closer into his arms, rocking them side to side, “You fell asleep, you’re dozing so you’re in REM without being fully out, it makes things strange, your fine, it's all fine, just breathe To’ra, just breathe.” Indra crooned to him, loving and warm and deeply concerned; still, with an explanation and a hug Tobirama seemed to calm, or simply find the touch drugging enough that he didn’t care anymore and after tugging a touch at his wrists in Indra’s grip he stopped fighting and just sank into the first Uchiha, nuzzling into Indra’s neck and his body vibrating as he started to fucking purr. Ok, ok, what was going on here and what had Tobirama’s fragments wanted him to see about it? What was Indra missing? “Th’s ‘s nice” Tobirama slurred, curling closer around his arms pinned between them, “I like this dream, I never dream of M’dra so this is almost like that but allowed.” (oh, oh kami) Indra swallowed hard and stroked down the lean back, “This is most certainly allowed, in fact it could be argued that I forced you into this rather than you trying to take it right? So I had to chose it.” at that the purring kicked up a notch and Indra leaned back on the wall, drawing the albino closer with an arm around his waist.
“What do you dream of?” Indra coaxed, low and soft as falling down into the thick white hair, only for Tobirama to sleepily mutter, “A world I never existed in. One that had a better me.” and absolutely breaking Indra’s heart- oh, oh Tobirama, his poor broken soulmate-, aching Indra pressed his lips to the cool skin of the younger man’s temple, “I would never dream of that and I don’t think your soulmate would either if they knew. But, surely you have other dreams To’ra? Any other dreams?” Tobirama curled closer and hummed “No small graves, no dead brothers, no soulmate that I broke, maybe some fresh fish and my summons on cold nights and children to teach in the open, maybe.” such small dreams, such tiny little wishes to cling to and in the end they too fell apart. Still, choked with pain and foreknowledge and saying it anyway Indra whispered, “You can have those things, you deserve those things and so much more Tobirama. I promise you that your dreams aren’t too much and aren’t more than you should be given, they are just the smallest starting places of what you deserve.” At Indra’s promise Tobirama made a small, choked sound and pressed closer to Indra, so close he seemed to be getting smaller and thinner until all Indra was holding was a soft feather, glowing slightly in the dark. The barbs were soft with wishes whispered in the night like shameful secrets, the shaft flexible but strong with one simple dream: no more dead brothers (not even- especially not- Madara’s).
Sighing and feeling a bit broken Indra pressed the feather to his chest, Tobirama’s dreams were small and light, not heavy or buoyant, just taking up as little space in his chest as they could. It…it was not what Indra had expected – but it did tell him where to go next if enough time had passed.