nine for a kiss
It ached to step through the after-lands and on to the Pure Lands again, he didn’t know how long had passed in life- or even in death to be honest- but he hoped that it hadn’t been long enough, that his children had lived long happy lives in Konoha and mourned him only enough. But….when he followed the whisper of his blood and stepped back into a more open version of the Uchiha main house he found Kosuke sitting painting one of Madara’s favorite falcons; his youngest child looked like she was just into her mid-twenties, her long sleek dark hair a sheet down her back and her eyes- so like Madara’s, all his children had his eyes- were intent on her work (well, at least she hadn’t died too young? She had been a teen last time he saw her so, it could be worse…). “Kosuke” Madara called, vaguely aware of his home yukata with the uchiwa on the back as he approached her where she knelt looking out into the garden; his daughter jumped, a smear of ink slashing over the white of the sky as she leapt to her feet and spun, her mouth dropping open as her purple kimono with white plum flowers on it fluttered around her before she all but threw herself into his arms. “Dad!” his daughter yelped, sounding thrilled to the bone to see him as she crush him to her in an over tight embrace, “Hello chickadee” Madara murmured into her soft hair, breathing in the scent of his child and aching.
It took a while before Kosuke was willing to let him go, finally leading the way back to the table and pouring him the tea that had replaced her painting things, “Not that I am not thrilled to see you, because I am, but, Ko, what happened, you died young.” Madara said softly, eyeing his daughter’s older face as it fell slightly. Kosuke spun her cup between her fingers, chewing on her lip, “After you died mother, she, well she withered but she didn’t die or even come close and though no one else asked any questions the clan did. We brushed them off but eventually it got to the point that we couldn’t – we couldn’t ignore it anymore, so, we confronted her about it, the three of us. She – she told us that she was never your soulmate though she had your soulbond and that she thought it was given to her by someone else; she didn’t want to say who she thought it was but – the timing – it was too obvious, and Reina just asked her if she thought it was Tobirama Senju. We all loved him you know, the few times we met him we all adored him; he was always kind with us and had time for just about anything we asked for, even taught me some water jutsu, I just….I know if he hadn’t given away the bond we never would have even existed, but I don’t understand why he did it.”
Madara sighed deeply, leaning back on one hand and rubbing his face as he tried to figure out what to say to his daughter, “He – he didn’t want to, I don’t know how much is my right to say for him but…he was broken Ko, so broken, and no one even really tired hard enough to put him back together. He thought that I would be forced into the bond with him from the clan pressure and keeping the village stable even though he believed I hated him and he couldn’t bear to force me into a loveless bond. It – there were reasons he thought that was the right thing to do, reasons I am starting to understand, and I – I can’t say I am ok with his choice, but I am starting to know why he made it; and I chose him anyway.” Kosuke winced, scooching closer and slipping an arm around Madara’s waist, “I can’t say I understand but I am proud of you for trying anyway, I can’t imagine how that would feel.” She murmured to him, snuggling in tight as Madara held her. Suddenly something she said hit him and Madara frowned, “When did Tobirama teach you water jutsu? I never saw him with the three of you but at that one festival, he wasn’t around in the village all that often either.” Kosuke laughed a bit into his shoulder, “Just because you didn’t see him didn’t mean he wasn’t stopping by to visit his brother and cousin, he avoided you- which makes sense now I guess- but he always stopped by to see us; he liked us and liked to teach us little things when he could without being noticed, I know his teaching saved Reina at least once and Faria several times. They were both ok when I died by the way.”
Yeah, that was another thing, “How did you die?” he asked again slowly, she was older than he had last seen her but not as much as he would have liked; Kosuke winced, burrowing her head into his shoulder, finally reluctantly saying, “After you – after you died mother died a few years later and Hashirama took the hat again. It was…Suna had sealed Shukaku into some sort of teapot and the Kyuubi was seen in Fire and the other tailed beast were being hunted to seal them so…” wh- no, no, Madara could see where this was going and- no, surely Hashirama wouldn’t be that foolish? Surely Mito wouldn’t? “No” he breathed, not his siblings, not his siblings turning on each other so stupidly, Kosuke sent him a sad look “They sealed the nine-tails and, well, it was all dominos after that. Things hadn’t turned to war yet when I was killed by a group of Kumon nin but they were headed that way and Reina was getting ready to push out Hashirama and take the hat with Faria as clan head.” Oh, oh, that…. “Oh Ko…” Madara whispered, tugging her closer and pressing his nose into her hair, wondering if this was the war that ended with his children’s children wedded to Hashirama’s and ruling all five countries.
“Its ok” she told him gently, patting at his arm “not your fault dad, you always did your best and you never would have let it happen, we all knew that, that’s why we had to act. Besides, being dead isn’t so bad! I even got this nifty feather waiting here when I showed up, every time I touch it it reminds me of the last time I saw Tobirama-sensei and the way it felt when he kissed my forehead, it’s a bit odd.” Madara pulled back and stared at his daughter, shocked that it was this easy to get the feather and somehow completely unsurprised that Tobirama had been so affectionate with his children after everything he had learned. “I – do you now what those feathers are?” Kosuke shook her head, confused “They – when Tobirama died he was so…broken, that his soul, it, shattered, broke into shards that scattered throughout his memories and the planes of the after-life in the shape of blue and white owl feathers.” “Oh!” she gasped “oh that-“ she scrambled to her feet, darting to a small and well loved chest Madara had given her for her small keepsakes in as a child, opening it and drawing out a glowing feather; turning to hold it out to Madara in her flat hands.
“Here, this is yours I think” she said with a smile, Madara reaching out slowly to pick up the feather, tattered barbs brushing over his fingers with exhausted stubbornness the shaft partially stripped but still strong with his unbending will. Weary and sad Madara brushed his finger down the spine of the feather, this shard of his increasingly beloved soulmate almost shivering under his touch, “Mine….maybe, I hope, but in the end he chose to give away the bond, I know he wanted it but…” he shook his head, “still, I am glad he kept a relationship with you one way or another even if being around me with Saburo was too hard.” Kosuke hesitated, unsure, and then spoke, “Dad, I don’t know, I don’t know what was going on with him but…there was something wrong with him. Something…something strange, sometimes it was like he was listening to something else, or – like he was someone else, someone hard, someone….and then we would say or do something, and he would come back, melt for us, focus on us and push away whatever was bothering him. I think we were a safe space for him and – dad are you sure that his soul only shattered on his death, or did it start flaking away when he gave up the bond? Because…because sometimes I think there was someone slightly different looking out of his eyes, someone that was missing something fundamental and I am wondering what it does to a soul to lose the bond, what happens to a soul without that tether?”
Madara swallowed hard, chilled, what – what if she was right? What did happen when you lost your soulbond, especially when you were a soul made for a mate? What had it done to Tobirama and his fragile mind to lose the tether that was Madara? What was wrong with his soulmate? “I –“ Madara started and Kosuke shook her head, her hair swishing over her back, “I know, I’m not going anywhere, go find him and bring him to meet me when he is ready yeah? That way I can introduce you to mine as well. But for now you have places to be and a man to fix, go do it, I’ll be right here waiting to see you again as long as it takes, promise.” Biting his lip Madara grabbed his daughter’s hand and hauled her into his arms, holding tight as he pressed the feather to his ribs and let the feather slid in through his skin, Tobirama’s clinging, tattered will curling around his bones.