Father-Daughter Dance
Father-Daughter Dance - A sentimental moment between father and daughter during the reception portion of a wedding. They dance together to convey that even though things are changing and she is growing into something extraordinary, she will always be his little girl.
Sakura walked the bustling streets of lights, vendors, and laughing villagers. She passed signs and awnings of the shops that were brightly lit and colorful, with several lanterns lighting the pathway. The evening air was fresh on her skin, but her kimono kept her comfortable.
She was well dressed, charming in a black kimono with large light pink flowers growing from the hems. Her short pink hair was pulled up in a simple bun with a small branch of cherry blossoms tucked in. Yet, for as pretty an image she made, her face was dull. She couldn’t muster the energy to put makeup on her face for the occasion. She could barely handle the kimono and her hair. It took all her strength to resist turning around to walk back home and hide in her medical books.
“As my apprentice, you have to suffer as I do.” Lady Hokage Tsunade Senju rested her head on her hands as she stared at the young kunoichi before her. “You must attend the festival next week.”
Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise. “The festival? Wouldn’t it be better if I continued my studies instead?”
“One night won’t make a vast difference.” Tsunade dismissed. “You’ve been working hard. You deserve a reprieve. Besides, as I said, this is part of your apprenticeship.”
“I don’t see how, my lady.”
“It’s simple. The Hokage must appear because they are the village leader and a public figure.” Tsunade explained. “Part of that is participating in events that uphold our culture. The people need to be able to see their Hokage be part of that. “
“I still don’t see why that means I need to attend.” Sakura protested, doing her best to keep from sounding whiny.
Tsunade sighed. “You are my apprentice. Anyone close to the Hokage must also make these appearances for the same reasons the Hokage does. If you were only an assistant, you wouldn’t have to, but you are my pupil. You are under my direct care.” She smirked when she saw the girl blush. “And besides, this would be good for you.”
Sakura’s eyes peaked up, a question clear in her eyebrows.
“You have sealed yourself in your studies and training since I took you in. And before that, you just hid.” The young girl’s eyes dropped at her words. All the warmth in her seemed to seep away. Tsunade couldn’t help the concerned frown forming on her face. “I know you’re still hurting, but you must move on.”
The fierce expression in Sakura’s eyes was no surprise to Tsunade. It was a sensitive subject for the young girl. “I can’t.” She said softly, but there was still a biting edge.
“I’m not telling you to forget about him,” Tsunade said, her tone gentle. “I’m only saying that you need to be able to move forward. You won’t be able to grow if you don’t make space for it.” Sakura’s face relaxed but still had that expression of deep sadness in her eyes. “You will attend the festival. That’s an order.”
Sakura resigned and bowed her head low. “Yes, Lady Hokage.”
And so she did. Sakura walked with heavy feet amongst the other attendees. She was to meet up with the Hokage and Shizune in an hour to light the bonfire that would start the dance. She found herself counting down the minutes.
The vendors offered a variety of services and goods. Many were food carts offering different specialty dishes. The aroma was enticing, yet it made her stomach turn unpleasantly. There were games with small crowds around them. Children and adults alike did their best to win the inconsequential prizes of a goldfish, a trinket, or a stuffed animal.
In the distance, she saw Team 10: Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji with their sensei Asuma. They were all smiling, bantering with each other as they checked out another vendor. Ino was teasing Choji while Shikamaru gave a sardonic smirk. Choji was blissful at the sight of all the food. Asuma just watched them all with all the fondness in the world as they ate together.
Sakura’s heart squeezed.
It was so painful.
It was still so painful.
She didn’t know how long she had been staring but couldn’t anymore. She turned away to walk toward where the bonfire would take place. There were so many people, yet Sakura felt alone and faded like a cloud of smoke.
Kakashi walked with Gai toward the festival. Gai was dressed for the occasion, wearing a kimono similar to his green ninja wear. Kakashi, however, wore his Jonin uniform sans vest.
“Come on, Kakashi!” Gai boasted. “Embrace your youth! This will be a nice change of pace for you.”
The silver-haired Jonin sighed, tiredness sinking through his bones. He didn’t want to attend the festival, but his overly enthusiastic friend insisted. Well, it’s more that Gai pestered Kakashi into taking a small break from solo missions.
“I know things have changed for you, but you will burn yourself out at this rate.” Gai continued his voice a much calmer and severe tone. Gai was a goofy optimist but knew when to tone it down. “I know things have been hard for you.”
Kakashi didn’t reply. He didn’t want to hear it, but Gai was always about doing what you could and not “wasting your youth on sulking.” But now he’s being understanding, and somehow that’s worse. It just solidified everything.
“It won’t do them any good if you work yourself to death. Young Naruto will return soon enough, and I hear Miss Sakura’s apprenticeship is going well.”
“I know,” Kakashi said softly.
Gai placed a grounding hand on his shoulder. It wouldn’t do much for comfort, nor would it really do anything to raise his friend’s spirits. Gods know there wasn’t anything Gai could say or do to ease Kakashi’s burden. All he can do is drag him out of his apartment, out of his head, and into distraction. Soon, both men approached the entrance to the festival, Kakashi mentally preparing himself.
The lights were bright and colorful inside lanterns and glass. Kakashi could make out the stitches in all the curtains and the grains on the wooden countertops. He saw all the individual threads in the kimonos. Noises of people chatting and cheering meshed with the sounds of cooking. It was massive and crowded and too much. Kakashi could smell everything: perfumes, fried fish, sweet buns, plastic, burning wood, meats, metal, sweat, and dirt. It all soaked in through his mask and drowned him.
He needed to calm down.
Kakashi had been in back-to-back missions, dangerous ones. He had sharpened his senses back to Anbu level, but it was hard to turn off.
He took in deep breaths and closed his one exposed eye. Kakashi focused on the scent of the trees, which he found the least nauseating. He opened his eyes, feeling some semblance of calm. Gai didn’t look at him or say anything, but Kakashi knew he was observing.
“Gai sensei!” A loud, energetic voice hollered in the distance. Rock Lee was before them in a dash of green, his teammates still far behind him.
“Ah, Rock Lee!” Gai’s voice was a cannon above the chattering of the crowd. “Enjoying the festivities?”
“Yes, Gai-sensei!” Lee smiled wide, a row of perfect white teeth gleaming. The young boy turned to Kakashi and bowed respectfully. “Good evening, Kakashi-sensei! I hope you are well from your mission!”
Kakashi smiled a bit at the energetic ninja. “Hello, Lee. It feels good to be back home for a bit.” It was an absolute lie. The glance Gai sent him called him out on it. He wanted to be far away from here.
“That is good to hear!” Rock Lee clearly couldn’t tell. His teammates Neji and Ten Ten caught up to him, wearing matching looks of exasperation with varying degrees of amusement. “We were just about to eat before heading to the games! Would you like to join us, Kakashi-sensei?”
“Yeah, c’mon Kakashi! You need to eat to preserve your youth!” Gai clasped a heavy hand onto the other man’s shoulder. He shook Kakashi’s shoulder until he got a sigh of acceptance. “Excellent! Where should we go first?”
“Ooh! Why don’t we try the grilled eel stand?” Ten Ten said, a broad, cheerful smile on her face. “What do you think, Neji?” Her teammate glanced at her before nodding his head slightly. Neji’s face was as blank as ever in typical Hyuga fashion. Still, it didn’t stop Tenten from smiling widely in excitement.
Kakashi felt his mouth turn to ash at the familiar interaction. It worsened when Lee cheered much too loudly. Any food he ate would just fall flat in his body, but still, he put on a smile and followed the group without stalling.
Sakura sat on the grass, several feet away from the stacks of wood that would become the evening’s blazing bonfire. She watched local performers dance and sing with their instruments, playing a lively tune on a beautifully constructed stage. They were good as the crowds cheered and danced with them below. Sakura smiled slightly at the sight. It would still be a handful of minutes before the bonfire began. Tsunade and Shizune would be arriving soon to conduct the lighting, but the young girl was anxious for them to come so she could do her part and go home as quickly as possible. Back home to her books, where she didn’t have to see the happy groups of friends and families and ninja squads.
So far, Sakura had managed to remain undetected by any of the other teams. When any of them did find her away from her studies and apprenticeship, the interactions were painfully awkward, mainly on her part. She couldn’t muster the strength to be her better self. The one who smiled a lot, who got excited and cheerful. She’s trying, but it just isn’t happening yet. Shizune said it would take time, and so time she will take.
“There you are!” A low voice said from behind her. Sakura turned around to see Lady Hokage Tsunade peering down at her, hands on her hips and a disapproving frown on her face. “Hiding away, are we?”
Sakura deflated at being sussed out. “I suppose…”
Tsunade’s frown eased as she saw how unlike herself Sakura looked. She was well dressed, but her skin held no glow or warmth. Now, she wasn’t sure if making her come out to such a busy event was wise. She knew her pupil needed to move on, but perhaps she was impatient. Tsunade sighed. “I will let it slide this time. I’m glad that you came anyway. You put aside your feelings and fulfilled your obligations like a true professional. I know it was difficult.” She smiled at the young girl and touched her shoulder gently.
“Thank you, Shishou.”Sakura smiled back at her master. It was small and broken but genuine.
Tsunade held her hand out, which Sakura accepted to get off the ground. “Come on, it’s almost time to light this thing.”
They both made their way to the stage, quickly walking up the stairs to see Shizune already there, TonTon held comfortably in her arms. She was dressed for the occasion in a white and violet kimono with orange koi fish flowing throughout. Tsunade herself wore a white kimono with depictions of regal mountains and cranes perched and flying embroidered on with hints of gold thread glimmering in the festival lights.
Shizune looked at them as they got closer. Her smile was warm and patient as she greeted Sakura. “We’re all set, my lady!” She said excitedly, TonTon oinking on his own excitement.
“Alright, let’s get this started. I still haven’t tried out the sake booth with samples from all the countries.” Tsunade laughed at her two pupils' faces of displeasure. It was even funnier because she was actually serious.
“Presenting our Lady Hokage, Senju Tsunade.” An announcer boomed. The Hokage stepped forward, Shizune and Sakura beside her on each side. “Her apprentices: Shizune and Haruno Sakura.”
The crowd below cheered and clapped at them, making Sakura squirm at the general attention. She was not used to being anywhere near the spotlight like this.
“Welcome, everyone!” Tsunade’s voice carried over the excited chatter. “Today is the first day of our Yosetsu Festival, where we celebrate the spirit of bonds made throughout our lives. These bonds can take any form: parent and child, spouses, families, and friends. All forged in fire, represented in the lighting of our bonfire today.
Please don’t take lightly who you choose to forge yourself with. A bond is irreversible and powerful. So much so that even when it is broken, you become broken yourself. A piece of yourself will reside in the other as a part of them will live in you.”
Sakura’s heart was constraining itself within her ribcage. It felt like it was trying to slip through the bones and out her throat. She clutched at her sleeve and hated how she could feel the threads woven together to create the fabric. It could never be the same if slashed, even if sewn back together. She hated this. She hated how she could see her team in everything. She can see both the boys in everything she did and said.
“As you dance around the fire, your paths, your souls will be intertwined. This is a testament to our bonds and the people we want to be forged with forever.” Tsunade said, her voice stern and echoing a pain that Sakura was becoming familiar with. “Even when they’re gone, the bonds live with us.”
The crowd settled in a heavy silence. In recent events, the invasion of the village and the death of Lord Third, they all understood the weight of those words.
“So be mindful. Choose carefully.” The words were wise and warm in the Fifth Hokage’s voice. She smiled gently at her citizens. “And now join me as we light our bonfire tonight. Ready?” The crowd cheered loudly. “Excellent!”
Tsunade grasped an ornate bow decorated with carefully carved flames and intersecting lines, with incendiary tags attached to the arrow's tip. She carefully aligned the arrow and pulled it back tightly, aiming at the inky blue night sky. In an instant, Tsunade released her grip.
The crowd gasped in amazement as the arrow shot through the sky in a graceful arch. The tags sparked, leaving star-like embers behind as they hurtled down to the stockpile of firewood below. The arrow landed with the tag igniting, and the flames began to take hold. The crowd cheered loudly as the fire grew into a mighty blaze.
The fire chased away the crisp air of the night. Sakura felt the warmth on the surface of her face, neck, and hands, but not any deeper. Her fingertips were still cold, and an odd ache had taken over her arms. She felt so heavy and tired, but she kept it off her face as the dancing portion of the bonfire began.
She watched as young couples joined hands and walked to form circles around the fully engulfed bonfire. The band began to play a lively tune, an ancient one with more myths than tracible facts. She remembered it was one of the many songs written as a spell. The purpose of it is the same as the fire: to secure bonds for all eternity. Sakura couldn’t say she believed in that anymore.
She dreamed of this festival when she first joined Team 7. She would insist they all go together and then try to snag a dance from Sasuke. She wanted that so badly. It felt foolish now. Sakura would have traded all the dances in the world just to have them back to how they were.
“Alright, Sakura.” Tsunade’s voice cut through her thoughts. She saw her master gaze at her with a light of concern in her amber eyes. Blinking, Sakura felt a tear slide down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, embarrassed to lose her composure in front of her mentor and Hokage. “You completed your obligations for the night. You are dismissed.”
Sakura bowed her head low. “Thank you, my lady.” She forced herself to walk away at an even pace when all she wanted to do was run. She counted each step down the stairs and the steps out toward the trees, but it felt like forever until she found some refuge to gather herself. She took deep, slow breaths to ease the weight in her chest and rubbed at her arms to alleviate the ache. It did little, but at least she was away from the crowd. Sakura gazed around her surroundings. She was alone in a dark patch of forest, the blazing fire far behind her. The cold returned to her skin, a cold her kimono could never contend with, but Sakura stayed there. Alone.
Kakashi followed Guy and his team around, not having any preferences for anything around him. He put on a passable mask for the young ones, but Gai’s sympathetic gaze told him he was losing touch. As he suspected, all the food tasted like ash in his mouth and settled like lead in his stomach. He debated paying a round of treats for the team, but it felt wrong. He hardly ever treated his own team. It was on purpose so they would handle their finances better, but perhaps an extra treat of ramen or two wouldn’t have hurt. Maybe that would have made a difference.
He scoffed to himself. It was absolutely ridiculous to think that a bowl of ramen would have prevented the catastrophe that was their lives now. Yet, he couldn’t stop thinking it over.
“Hey,” Ten Ten chirped up, “The bonfire will be lit in a few minutes! We should make our way and grab a good spot.”
Rock Lee’s eyes sparkled. “Yes! We mustn’t be late!”
Neji was silent but looked up at the Jonin, waiting for a cue.
Kakashi wanted to hurl, but they made their way to the bonfire. The closer they got, the louder the music and people were. A large crowd formed, with several people dancing to the music. Everyone was smiling and laughing, giving the space a real jovial essence. Kakashi could spot the members of the two other rookie squads.
Kurenai’s team congregated together with members of their respective clans. Hinata blushed brightly as her sensei spoke about her, most likely complimenting her kimono and bragging about her progress to the youngest Hyuga, Hanabi. Kiba laughed at her expense before being essentially barked at by his mother. That brought a smirk of amusement to Kakashi’s face. The last member, Shino, was off to the side, quiet and minding his business and catching fireflies.
Asuma’s team was relaxing on a bench, anticipating the lighting of the bonfire. Ino was looking around anxiously for someone. Kakashi supposed it would be her father since they’ve danced together yearly at the festival since she was born. Choji had two skewers of grilled and barbecued meat in each hand and ate enthusiastically while swinging his feet. Shikamaru was muttering at him about kicking the dirt up but otherwise looked bored. Their sensei stood downwind from them with a cigarette while glancing not so discreetly at Kurenai.
Usually, mildly analyzing what the other squads were doing was a source of entertainment for him, but not today. Not lately. Not too long ago, he realized that all the teams were painfully similar to his own.
One overly excitable idiot.
One cool and aloof brat.
One lovesick princess.
Yes. Each team seemed to follow that format, yet to Kakashi, they all felt like poor imitations of his team. But even if they weren’t, it was all a painful reminder to Kakashi.
He was by no means hopeless of the situation. He had faith that Naruto and Sakura would bring Sasuke back home. He might even be there to help them. For now, however, he was sorely missing all of them.
A forceful nudge to his side startled him out of his thoughts. He turned and gave Gai an irritated glare, but his friend smiled widely and gestured for him to look up. Kakashi turned and saw his sole kunoichi, Sakura, beside her new teacher, the Hokage.
Her face was calm and serious, something he wasn’t used to seeing. She was always lively, smiley, furious, and expressive, no matter the situation. You could see when she was irritated, mad, scared, hungry, focused, or distracted. Seeing her when she was happy just lifted any mood he was in. It made him feel like perhaps he wasn’t doing that bad of a job as a sensei.
“Sakura looks so grown up, don’t you think so, Kakashi?” Gai commented to him. His tone was one of pride that Kakashi couldn’t feel.
“Too much so.” He muttered back. As he gazed at her, his heart sunk further.
Her attire was nearly all black, another feature he didn’t associate with her. She looked mature and stern instead of youthful and spritely. It was foreign to see her devoid of any rich and bright colors. Most squad leaders would be proud to see such a change. This was what maturing as a shinobi looked like. This was growth and progress.
Bute that wasn’t Sakura.
The Hokage continued on with her speech about bonds and connections. About broken ones. He didn’t focus too heavily on her words, yet they managed to worm their way into him. It brought images of the people he had lost but never left him. It brought the not-so-distant memories of Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all together yelling at him for being late.
It was too much. Kakashi forced himself to refocus on the event, only to find Tsunade was already pulling back on the bow.
The ceremonial arrow soared gracefully through the sky before landing with a thud on the bonfire wood. The flame grew into a blaze that gave him no warmth or comfort. The music started anew with a song he had heard many, many years ago with his first team. He could see couples of all ages pair off together to form a dance circle around the fire. Children were also being escorted by their parents into a dance; some were dragged. That made him smile a bit.
Kakashi looked back up at the stage, and to his dismay, he caught Sakura wiping at her eyes. He restrained himself from jumping onto the platform to console her as the Hokage did it for him. She would be fine. She has Tsunade to guide and teach her better than he ever could have. Her potential would be realized. She didn’t need him to worry about her.
He watched as Sakura steadily exited the stairs, but each step gained more and more speed. She was definitely going to head into the forest.
He should let her go, right? She can console herself and get her emotions in check, right?
Definitely.
Before Kakashi could think further about it, his feet quickly moved toward the forest. He expertly avoids bumping into any people dancing, but he does receive some odd looks. He could barely hear Gai call after him in the distance. Kakashi makes it into the brush of trees and quickly hops on the branches to look for his student. He dashed forward, his feet hitting lightly on the trees to avoid drawing any attention to the situation.
It took less than 10 minutes for him to find Sakura. She was sitting down on the ground, sniffling into her kimono-covered legs. Her breathing was erratic as she tried desperately to get her emotions in check. But she felt too much.
As quietly as he could, he stepped down from the trees. Sakura continued her soft sobbing, the sounds causing his heart to grow heavy. This was the girl he knew. The girl whose heart was too big and much too tender despite the terrible things she has witnessed and experienced. She was trying bravely to be something cold and hard, but that wasn’t within her nature. And by all means, that was fine by Kakashi.
“Sakura.” He crept up closer to her until he was a few feet away.
Her small hands clenched the fabric of her kimono. Sakura raised her head and looked up at the older man, her eyes reddened and wet. “Kakashi-sensei?” Her voice was a fragile whisper. “You’re here?”
“I came into town yesterday.” The Jonin said, offering her a smile through his mask.
“Oh,” Sakura said softly, suddenly realizing her state. She wiped her eyes hastily with her kimono sleeve, muttering apologies.
Kakashi knelt down to her level, gently grabbing her hands away from her face. She batted her eyelashes to keep away the tears, but they swelled like a river in a storm and spilled over her cheeks. She was avoiding his gaze behind the fallen locks of her hair. He delicately tapped her chin. “Hey,” Kakashi coaxed until her bright eyes finally peeked at his face. “You don’t need to hide your tears from me.” His fingers quickly brushed her hair behind her ears. “You don’t have to put a front with me. I’ve got you.”
Sakura’s breathing hitched slightly. Her tears came forward in earnest even more. Kakashi continued to stroke her hair as her head came to rest on his shoulder, her sobs ripping through her and into him. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand caressing her head. The gentle pressure encouraged her to cling to him for safety and comfort, looking very much like the young child she was. He held her there on the forest floor. This came naturally to him, but for all he was worth, he didn’t know what else to say.
Kakashi knew Sakura missed Sasuke, and she missed Naruto just as much. He missed them, too. He missed them in a different way from how he missed his old team. He chalked it up to it being the fact that Naruto and Sasuke were both still alive somewhere. He knew both would become strong, which filled him with dread for one of them. Now that a better teacher has taken the mantle, Sakura would become just as strong. In the end, he was useless to all of them.
“I missed you.” Sakura’s small and broken voice carried to her sensei’s ears.
Kakashi’s heart squeezed painfully at hearing those words. She missed him. He held her tighter and pressed his head beside hers. “I’m sorry, Sakura.” Kakashi whispered, his own voice now thick with guilt. “I’ve been away for too long, haven’t I?” He felt the little girl nod her head against his chest. His heart squeezed again, and he felt foolish at his previous thought.
He left her, as the sole member of their team, entirely alone.Granted she had her parents but it was clear to him that she might as well not. Kakashi took every mission that would allow him to leave the village at any time to avoid the constant reminder of his failure. In doing that, he made a tremendous error.
“I didn’t think you’d need me,” Kakashi admitted softly. “I couldn’t help any of you.”
Sakura pulled her head off his chest, sniffling. “You’re just as stupid as the both of them.” She declared as she wiped at her tears.
Kakashi smiled pitifully at her. “I am, aren’t I?” She giggles lightly, and he feels his spirit lighten.
“Bunch of stupid boys. All of you.”
Kakashi chuckled at her statement. “There she is.” He brushed her hair away from her face again, realizing how much longer it had gotten. Sakura’s smile widened, and a warmth returned to her skin. She was happy to have him back.
After a few moments, Sakura’s puffy eyes subdued, and she looked vastly more composed and, to Kakashi’s relief, more like her usual self. She fretted with her hair until it was back to Its previous state. They both walked back toward the festival, feeling much lighter than they were minutes ago.
The music became louder and louder as they approached. They could see the light of the fire and the shadows of couples and families dancing around the blaze. The sight didn’t upset either of them as much now, though they still felt melancholy.
Kakashi placed his hand on Sakura’s shoulder and guided her toward the line of dancers as the band began to set up for a new song.
“Sensei?” Sakura looked up in curiosity.
“Let’s dance,” Kakashi said simply, holding her hands delicately as the music began. He began to lead with steps that were just a bit awkward, making Sakura laugh. “Don’t mock your old sensei. I’m rusty.” He chided lightly. Her smile remained warm and bright as he knew it to be.
As he had stated, Kakashi was out of practice. They stumbled a bit. Sakura stepped on her sensei’s feet. Kakashi missed a few steps of the choreography. When they both bumped into another pair, a bubble of laughter came from Sakura, easing Kakashi even more. After a while, their movements became more coordinated and fluid. They danced gracefully around the blazing fire, the warmth seeping into their bones. In the corner of their eyes, they spotted the other team leaders escorting their young charges to the dance circle, one by one.
Sakura looked up at the older man. “Thank you, Kakashi-sensei.” Kakashi smiled back at her before gently twirling her. She circled back to him with a broad smile. They continued dancing until Sakura’s stomach grumbled.
He guided her to the nearest food stands, treating her to anything she desired. The smells of smokey meats and floral rice awoke his own appetite and enticed him to buy himself some food. They sat together at a small table with their mini feast and ate. As they ate and talked, for a moment, just a moment, it almost felt like their group was complete again.