Deidara–chan plans a trip
Deidara sighed heavily as he watched raindrops racing down the windows, gray clouds laying like a thick, woolen blanket over the school.
“I can’t wait for summer to come…”
Kisame chuckled as he read through various student complaints. “Summer? Here, in Ame? Don’t be ridiculous."
Silence settled, only disturbed by Kisame taking notes and Itachi typing into his laptop.
“Kisame, do you know what's worse? Being cold or being wet?”
Kisame Hoshigaki, captain of the 2nd year swimming team, gave Deidara a prolonged stare.
"You’re right, it’s being cold and wet, hn.”, the junior answered his own question.
“Do you know what's worse? A secretary who’s not working or a secretary that’s just complaining?”, Itachi provoked and Deidara stuck his tongue out at him.
Suddenly a smile flashed over Deidara's face. “If summer isn’t going to come to Ame, then we have to come to the summer!”
Kisame orderly folded the papers before him and gave the blonde his undivided attention.
“What do you mean by that?”
Deidara let himself fall into the IKEA couch. “How about we all go on a road trip during summer break? I think it would be fun, hn!”
Kisame nodded. “Yeah, why not? I rarely get out of this rainy hellhole anyway.”
Now both pairs of eyes were set on the council president, who just hummed approvingly.
“Great!”, Deidara exclaimed and opened his laptop.
“Alright, should he get a hotel or an AirBnB? Go by train or car, or even by plane? How long? A week? More? Less? Should we put our focus on wellness and relaxation or do we want to have some action?”
“Maybe we should first choose the place, then discuss the details.”, Itachi said before sighing wistfully. He looked out of the window, staring at the big puddles forming in the school yards and the damp grass letting their tips lean down.
I want to go to Suna-gakure. It’s warm and dry there and rich in culture. We can watch one of their prestigious puppet theaters and visit the ancient temples of Shukaku. In the morning we can visit the Basar, eat delicious food from foreign lands and then relax at Suna’s renowned cool springs, bathing in icy water as the warm breeze brings the smell of desert flowers and cacti.
In the evening we dine at a coffee house and finish the day with a night walk through the sandy dunes. There, between the land and the sky with nothing in between we can look up at the night and see the stars stretching to eternity.
Itachi suppressed a maniacal giggle as he thought further.
Kisame probably doesn’t know how cold the desert gets at night. He will forget to dress appropriately and I will graciously lend my jacket to him. It will be too small for him and we will laugh at it and he will pull the fabric closer to him, blushing slightly. To ease the tension he will look up and his face will bright up and he will point to the sky in excitement, as a meteor shower races above us. I will ask him if he wished for anything and he will tell me that he can’t tell, but then he will smirk and say he could say it without words and then he will lean down to me and then and then…
“We should go to Kumo-gakure, for sure.”, Kisame said and the dream shattered.
Deidare nodded and typed it down.
“No, no, no, we should go to Suna-gakure. I insist.”, Itachi said with panic lacing his voice.
Kisame gave him a look of both amusement and annoyance.
“I don’t think so.”, he said and his yellow eyes pierced like daggers.
Who cares about tons and tons of sand and dust? Kumo is fun! We can go rock climbing and wild water rafting, we can swim in mountain lakes and hike through the woods. We could go to Genbu island and try to find pandas lazing underneath the sun!
He smiled softly.
And when the sun goes down we can have a picnic near the famous stone spike forest and listen to the cicadas humming and the birds singing. Distracted, Itachi won’t notice how I’ll scoot closer to him and when the sky burns in the brightest red and orange, exhausted from our long day, he will let his head fall on by shoulder and though no words or kisses are exchanged, we both know what he confessed with this simple touch.
“Now what?”, Deidara asked and the dream shattered.
“Suna is much, much closer and we don’t want to spend half the time on the road, won’t we?.”, Itachi immediately pounced.
“The journey is as much part of the adventure as the destination itself.”, Kisame countered.
“I thought we wanted summer? Suna is the perfect embodiment of summer.”
“I thought we wanted fun? Kumo is the perfect embodiment of fun.”
Kisame continued. “What better place to relax than in the free and fresh air of mother nature and what better place to be than above the mountains and beneath the water?”
Deidara nodded enthusiastically.
Itachi chewed on his lips, his fingers drumming nervously on his desk.
Normally I wouldn’t care that much, but Kumo is a problem.
He opened a file titled “Holiday plans.”
There are far too many steep mountains and cliffs! And they are far too high! There won’t be much fun if I’m afraid of dying at every step!
He pictured their group on the base of a mountain hidden beneath the clouds, the others dressed in climbing gear and him on the ground, watching them climb higher and higher, so high he can’t see them anymore. He would fret and worry the whole time, pace restlessly up and down until they are back down again. What if they slipped? What if a rock tumbled down and hit them? What if an avalanche of the everwhite mountains came loose, burying everyone beneath it? And even worse, what if they made it down safely and all knew exactly how scared he was for them. Kisame would shake the dust and moss out his hair and smirk down at him. Oh, I knew you are afraid of heights but were you actually that worried about me? How cute…
No! No! No! Itachi refused to budge. And luckily for him, he and his brother often fought about family trips and travels and he had diligently written down any battle and its result. He was prepared.
“I imagine that your idea of fun involves a lot of physical and outdoor activity. That bears too much risk. You can’t guarantee perfect weather and one of us can easily get injured while hiking or climbing or whatever wild things you might be planning to do.”, Itachi challenged.
Kisame huffed. “If, if, if. Of course I can’t guarantee everything, but no one can. And of course I wouldn’t force you into anything that might be dangerous for your tiny, frail bodies.”
Itachi rolled his eyes.
“Suna has much more to offer for each of us. It has great food, an interesting culture, beautiful landscape and places to relax and let the stress of the school year fall from us.”
“Kumo has all of this too!”
“Oh, really?”, Itachi asked and Kisame hesitated.
“Don’t be mistaken, I agree that Kumo is a beautiful place with many interesting things to do and to say.”, Itachi said (and he actually meant it). “But so do thousands of other people. If we go during the summer break - which we, as students, have to - the place will be run over with tons of other people. No peace and quiet in nature. Just the screaming of little kids and plastic littered all over the place.”
“And the pollen of course.”, Deidara mused, scrolling through his cell phone.
“Huh?!”, Kisame’s head whipped around.
“Hn.”, the junior nodded. “I thought I remembered reading something about this in biology class. The climate and terrain of Kumo is rather weird, so a lot of plants start to bloom much later and the pollen season shifts from spring to mid summer. Luckily the grasses I’m allergic to don’t grow there or it would really be a pain in the ass, hn.”
“Uhm, just out of curiosity, which plants do bloom during that time.”, Kisame asked and Deidara scrolled down.
“Lemme see…Thunderkale, Greater Redhare, Hachibi’s Blossom, Cloudgrass, Copperroottree, Common Nightbloomer and the Whiskerflowers.”
Kisame cringed as Deidara continued listing these cursed weeds.
Just hearing the names of Whiskerflowers and Cloudgrass made his nose itch.
Damn it, damn it, damn it! Even if I take my meds with me, I’ll probably still sneeze, cough and die throughout the whole trip. It’s already embarrassing that a guy like me can’t stand my ground against some stupid pollen, but at least at Ame I can better mask it. But in Kumo? Outdoors and in close proximity to the other guys? No chance! Ugh, what will Itachi think? Will he politely and icily ignore it? Will he poke fun at me? Will he fuss over me like a mother hen? Shit, all of this sucks. Guess I’ll have to give in and save some of my dignity.
Kisame sighed and used his best “I-swear-I’m-not-a-sore-loser-smile”, which to be a hundred percent fair, he really wasn’t. “Eh, fine, I can live with Suna.”
Itachi raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really now?”
Kisame nodded and then smirked. “Yeah, you know how they say it: The smarter one gives in.”
The Uchiha rolled his eyes. “Sure they do.”, he muttered.
Deidara nodded. “So it’s decided then, we’ll go to Suna.”
“But I’ll already tell you, we won’t just be sitting down in ruins and cafés all day, I want to do something. Hiking through the sand dunes or go camel riding and swimming, we’ll have to go swimming of course. I don’t care where, a lake, a river, the beach or just a swimming pool.”
Itachi bathed in the victory as Kisame rambled to Deidara. He had won. Not only that, it seemed as if his rival might be thawing to his plans more and more.
“Hn. Yeah, but if we go swimming we have to pack tons of sunscreen or we will all be redder than a tomato!”, Deidara said and Itachi froze.
Oh…no…
For that exact reason I had envisioned our plans to be either indoors or after sunset. But now that Kisame gave in I would be a total asshole in refusing his ideas and wishes. Shit, even with the best sunscreen I’ll end up as an particularly angry lobster. How embarrassing! This wouldn’t be as much of a problem in Kumo…
Itachi cleared his throat. “I am glad that you warmed up to my idea, Kisame, but after some thought I have come to the conclusion that Kumo might be the better choice over all.”
Kisame and Deidara stared at him with a look between confusion and annoyance.
“Where did that come from now?”, Kisame asked and Itachi shrugged.
“I think you may be right. Some fresh air and adventure might be a better way to unwind after the stress of the school year. And I have to confess, I might have been put off by the idea of wild water rafting and those sorts, but I think it would be a lot of fun with you guys.”
He expected Kisame to be happy at that, but he saw his jaw tightening.
“No, you are right with what you said earlier. These things are too risky for people without experience and I would probably overdo it. I don’t know your limits and I couldn’t live with myself if any of you got hurt, because I screwed up.”
Itachi gave him a soft smile. “I’m glad that you are so concerned about our welfare, but Suna isn’t exactly safe either. There are scorpions and snakes and not to forget the immense heat.”
“Still.”, Kisame countered. “You were also right that the place would be overrun by tourists. If we want some time off and relax, I don’t think we would find that between crying toddlers and stressed out moms.”
“I have to admit that the same argument counts for Suna. We most likely have to deal with the same problems over there.”
"But at least it's much closer!"
"Everyone knows that the journey is as much part of the adventure as the destination itself.", Itachi parroted.
"But also-"
“Are we done here, because I’m not in the mood for the rewashing of the same shit a hundred times!”, Deidara hissed and both his seniors turned towards him.
“Fine then, what is your idea then?”, Kisame asked.
“Yes…how about you chose.”, Itachi added and Deidara hummed, thinking about it.
Itachi’s black eyes glared at the blonde. I am your senior and your superior, you better choose Kumo or you will taste the wrath of the Uchiha Clan!
Kisame smiled at Deidara and his canines shone in the lamp light. Deidara, pal, you wouldn’t disappoint your friend, would you?
Deidara seemed to be completely oblivious to the deadly danger he was in, as he mulled over the question.
“I guess.”, he started. “If I had a completely free choice, I would go to.”
To Kumo!
To Suna!
The junior seemed a bit embarrassed about his choice, as his eyes drifted throughout the room, never meeting the eye of his two comrades.
“Well, I always wanted to go to Oto-gakure.”
Itachi only stared at him while Kisame squinted his eyes at him in confusion. “W-what?”
Deidara raised his chin in defiance. “Don’t look at me like that. Everyone says that the best artists' workshops are in Oto.”
“I heard they had the best nightclubs in Oto.”, Kisame answered skeptically and Deidara smirked. “You would be surprised how often these two things align.”
“What are you doing in these workshops? Cocaine, LSD or illegal fireworks?”, Itachi huffed and Deidara glared at him.
“Creating art that your stuck-up ass won’t ever comprehend!”
“Not sure I would consider voodoo dolls stuck with heroin needles or cocktails with crushed glass instead of ice grand art.”
“It’s symbolism, you bourgeoisie twat!”
“I think we should leave it at that.”, Kisame quickly intervened. “How about we talk about it when summer actually comes?”
Itachi took a deep breath and then nodded. “Yes, I think that would be a smarter approach.”
“And maybe some of us aren’t as judgemental about other people's opinions then.”, Deidara grumbled.
Todays result: Unclear, and the council’s auditor has to bring forth either a proposal or an opinion as well