Chapter 4
Sasuke took a breath pressing his forehead onto the floor. Everything was too loud like everyone in the world was screaming. He grabbed his necklace clutching it close trying to breathe.
Taking a couple choked breaths he got up. Exhaling, he got into the bathroom climbing into the tub, clothes still on. Turning on the shower he was blasted with cold water.
Sasuke hated it when this happened to him. Rubbing a hand down his face he took deep breaths. “Damn it mother. You're such a fuckign asshole.”
Normally he’d rather stab out his eyes than curse out the pale lady and usually he didn't talk.
But he was frustrated and tired and overwhelmed.And mother wasn't helping him so what was the fuckign point.
A warm hand pressed against his back. Calm child. Sasuke huffed “now you're here. Oh protector of children. WERE WHERE YOU DURING THE MASSACRE!? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? MY COUSINS AND FRIENDS ARE DEAD! MY PARENTS AND BROTHER ARE DEAD! YOU FAILED US MOTHER! YOU FAILED ALL OF US!’
Sasuke screamed, slamming his hand against the bathtub. He kept screaming until tears fell. Or sasuke thought it was hard to tell with the shower water.
He kept sobbing, grasping at his hair and pulling at it. “Damnit.” he curled into a ball in the tub crying.
Sasuke wished he drowned in this tub. He wished he was killed in the massacre. He wished that the anbu wouldn't stop him as soon as he tried. He knew they would.
He had tried it before. He fell into a lake, his pockets filled with stones. As soon as he hit the water he was pulled out and dragged to shore.
Sasuke didn't deserve to live. Sasuke didn't deserve to live when any other members of his family were more worthy. Sasuke didn't deserve to live when he couldn't even save one person.
And yet he lived. Sasuke breathed, closing his eyes tight. He could avenge his family. He could avenge his clan. It would just take time. Time that the mother graciously gave him.
He got out of the bath and walked out of the room not bothering to dry off. Walking down the hallway he could help that feeling of wishing he was dead.
Wishing he was gone. And yes sasuke knew it was stupid but he had to try. He had to be with his family. He had to. He missed them more than he loved living.
He missed the hugs. He missed the little pranks. He missed forehead kisses. He missed warm smiles his way. He missed whining to his brother about training. He missed praying with the whole clan.
He missed being wanted and loved. Now he was held up on top of a pedestal and if he stepped off it he would fall to his death,
He walked over to his grandmother's garden. It was full of stones and roses. Symbolizing death and rebirth. It was said every time a soul was passed into the afterlife a rose bloomed.
Sasuke wants shure if that was true but the garden was covered in them. He filled his pockets with the heavy stones and then started to walk to the closest body of water.
It was a lake close by. Clan executions were held there, they were weighted down with chains and then dropped into the lake. Showing there uchiha fire benign put out and design with them. As it did when they betrayed the clan.
Sasuke looked over the edge of it. The water was clear and he could almost see right to the bottom of it. Sasuke slowly tipped over the edge.
Falling into the water he never resisted or tried to breath. This was it. He was joining his mother and father again. Sasuke smiled slightly.
For some reason his brain couldn't stop going a mile a minute. He thought of the uzumaki child. His name was Naruto. His mother was to be his guardian and sasuke's brother. But he left and the village refused to give him to them.
The uzumaki had a tradition. At the end of their thirteenth year of life they would be chained and dropped into the sea. If they unlocked their powers and became closer to the sea goddess ba.
And if they didn't then the sea goddess got the sacrifices she needed. Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut. Maybe with his death he would at least contribute to something and feed the sea goddess. Closing his eyes he accepted fate.