My S Class Reincarnation
At first it was nothing.
Simply another life set in a technologically modern, well off time, an Earth even, in twenty twenties Korea. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least this wouldn’t be too hard to adapt to.
She was born into a low, middle class very small family.
Pretty standard for her Incarnations since she had the ‘no frills’ version. She got no buffs or bonuses. No miraculous powers and anything she achieved in her various lives was done through her own efforts. Nor had she ever gotten any explanation for why she was reincarnating/ incarnating into different worlds, some she knew, most she didn’t.
For those she did, she was rarely anyone of interest and, most of the time lived her life quietly, out of the way of whatever momentous thing was effecting that world unless that event was global, then she fought to live or died to whatever with everyone else.
The first time, she’d been plowed down along with dozens of others by a car running a red light and found herself in another world, still in her fifty plus body, with exactly what she’d been waring and what she’d had on her and nothing more.
The only difference was her trans female body was bio female now… and she was still passed breeding age.
(She’d cried over that. She’d longed for a child of her own, bio or otherwise, and been denied and blocked at every pass.)
She’d never gotten the hang of what exactly made her Transmigrate to another world in her current body and at her current age and what made her Reincarnate as another person completely since she was more a creative sort than a thinker.
She’d tried listing down factors but there had just been so many worlds / variations on a world and lives by now that she’d lost count, especially since the list needed to be made afresh with each new world… and her memory for straight facts wasn’t that good. She did much better with stories and songs.
By this point she’d more or less given up and just rolled with whatever cards she was dealt with each now life/ Incarnation.
With each life, she was simply in another world and having to learn everything all over again. She actually preferred the full Reincarnations as it meant she had time to get her bearings…
Starting fresh was, as always, an opportunity… but she could have lived without the whole ‘orphaned at a young ish age’ thing.
At least her brother was a good kid (and that, right there suddenly made this worth it. She still loved and doted on children, cherishing it any time she had a chance to have or adopt her own or had siblings to care for and it pained her greatly when a child of hers /sibling was cold to her, neglected her or actively harmed her. They were her greatest weakness and her biggest joy in life… and she had absolutely NO intention of changing!).
He’d been two to her eight ish when she started taking over caring for him but he was smart, hard working and dedicated. Better yet, rather than hate or resent her, he adored her. It made her happy and she spent as much time with him as she could spare… which was all the time she wasn’t in pre/school since her parents seemed to have lost interest in them both. They’d been all for essentially abandoning her baby brother. They’d planned on leaving him home alone while they took her out to do things despite the fact he was barely a toddler and, when she wouldn’t leave him, they abandoned her too going out as a couple instead.
At least they left food or money. Better than some of her previous selves parents sure, but she still wasn’t overly impressed.
(Time that was slashed to nearly nothing after their parents died and she hated them, a bit, for that. She’d been okay being her precious little brother’s parent figure, actually having to WORK to support them both was much, MUCH harder.
She’d done it before but no one would hire a sixteen year old girl full time…)
Her name didn’t really click with her.
Was Han Yoojin a gender neutral name? She didn’t know.
It didn’t feel like HER name though.
It wasn’t like she heard it often either. Korea was an Asian country and the culture was influenced by that.
She was called by her family name, or various titles like older sister and junior or senior, depending. She honestly preferred the ‘older sisters’ she got from her sweet if slightly clingy little brother. Her name with the affectionate ‘ah’ after it was even better.
If not for her brother and for about eight of the sixteen years they’d been around, her parents, she thought she might actually forget it. That’s kind of sad, right, not being able to remember your current name?
That was part of the issue though, she’d had HUNDREDS of previous names. Remembering one more, when it would barely be used, almost didn’t seem worth the while.
(She made an effort to remember other people’s names anyway along with all the appropriate manners as best she knew them. She might be a little clumsy since her most recent parents hadn’t taught her much and each world had slight variations in the language or customs even if the names of the world or country were the same.
She’d tripped over that more than once in the beginning.
It was important as she was an unmarried young female raising a younger child, brother or not, and Korea still looked down on that. No one would care that they were orphans or siblings unless they knew of their circumstances personally.
She couldn’t afford ill will.)
Her boy though. His name she remembered. Han Yoohyun wouldn’t be someone she forgot in a hurry… She didn’t know why people shied away from him.
He was a GOOD kid!
(She DID make a note to keep an eye out for other kids being shunned the way her little brother was, even if it was uncomfortable for her the way it never was around her kid and extend a hand in their direction.
Instincts could be subdued and fear conquered and to ensure others like HER boy weren’t left to founder alone, she’d do that… She had the knowledge and the skill to regulate her instincts and emotions. Even if it was difficult she WOULD do it.
Being alone was hard.
Having blood family who didn’t value you or actively derided or neglected you was way worse so she would do her best to reach out to as many as she could.
Her Yoohyun might be treasured and taught as best she could but she doubted other, similar children would be so lucky.
It actually made her wonder a bit, thinking back on it.
What happened to her parents families? Asian cultures were very heavy on family connections and respect so where were the extended family? The parents siblings or parents? The cousins? Her parents couldn’t both be orphans right…
But she had nothing to work with and no time to poke at it so that mystery was left unsolved.)
When she went straight from middle school into the workforce, she didn’t regret it.
She wasn’t pretty, having a generic ‘face in the crowd' sort of face, but she was big and buff for an Asian girl and the part time job she’d gotten with a small moving company… Well, they were willing to take her on full time since she worked hard.
It would be nice to stop working so many odd jobs to make ends meet. It gave her a lot of experience in different area sure and she knew she should be grateful for the work and all, but it was so tiring to go from this job to the next and the next and keep it all straight as well as do domestic things for and with her boy.
It would mean a little less money but she’d manage…
(Yoohyun had already said that she could learn from his books when he moved on to higher education and he’d help her learn.
This kid. Honestly. She hadn’t been able to stop herself bear hugging him. So sweet.)
It had kept her nicely trim and toned the way hard work did when paired with simple, filling food and the Meditation/ Cultivations she used as a matter of course now even in worlds where it had no little outward effect.
It wasn’t fancy, but it stretched their money just that little bit further… and she had no pride when it came to taking charity. She was an orphan, high school drop out, with a kid to raise. She’d take any help she could get, so long as it didn’t come with obvious hooks.
Somehow, she’d always had a knack for avoiding those.
She just had a feel for the skeevy types.
She taught her boy domestic tasks, cooking included, as they grew because she couldn’t always be there when she wanted due to work and she wanted him to grow into a successful adult who could manage for himself.
It wasn’t fancy, far plainer than most Korean cooking, as they didn’t have money for much more than soy sauce and salt, and leaned heavily on the cooking she’d learned in other lives, rather than what was cultural to Asian cooking, let alone Korean, but it was warm or chilled and filling and she couldn’t ask for more than that on their budget… or lack of one. Rice was easy, versatile and lasted pretty much forever when stored well. If they had access to rice and soy they could survive. Everything else was garnish.
This much, she could help with. They were both lost causes on the social side.
Her brother was happily part of the ‘goes home’ club, not trying to make friends his age at all and she was too busy working to try and socialise. She just didn’t have the time!
That, and she didn’t like drinking.
She was a TOTAL lightweight and, plain faced or not, she was still a young woman going home alone. There was no point in making an easy target of herself right?
Her boy was relying on her to support him after all.
Yeah, she’d used that as an excuse more than once.
Didn’t like how stupid it made people behave and didn't like the loss of control she had under the influence. She never drank just to drink and had no alcohol at home. Not even for the celebration ceremonies that were meant to be carried out to honour family. Their parents hadn’t really done any of that stuff.
She wouldn’t drink at all if it wasn’t such a big part of Korean social culture. - Give her life giving coffee over beer any day!
She couldn’t really afford the good stuff and had never really learned to drink or enjoy it.
She just… didn’t like the taste of cheap booze. Most of the more expensive ones either.
If her bosses took her out for drinks she would go but she generally just bought one she could tolerate and nursed it for the night to be polite.
(She ignored the parts were they twitted her about her social life or lack there of and how they could introduce her to a nice boy.
She put them off politely since, unless the guy in question was interested in a paper marriage, she was nothing anyone scouting a wife would want.
Socially, she was one gigantic red X and nothing any husband could boast of despite her hard working, dedicated nature.
She was a large, plain faced, orphan, high school drop out with no money and a kid to raise. Even if this proverbial husband was willing to over look all of that and offer her ‘a better life’, he’d expect to be her focus completely, with her kid likely placed in a flat out of the way somewhere, with possibly a maid a couple of times a week or a caretaker to make sure the kid didn’t die.
Yeah, nah!
Like hell was she going to be one of those bitches who shoved the inconvenient relative/ kid off, in an out of the way flat, to look after themselves.
Even if doing what wasn’t doing pretty much what her parents had done, ‘out of sight, out of mind’ did NOT work for her.
Never had, never would.
Even as a noble, she’d done her best to interact with the little lives she made and took an active hand in their rearing and education where possible.
Kids needed love and support and guidelines and examples to grow up properly, her boy more than most!
She would NOT do that to any kid of hers. Never!
It might be nice to have friends or a social life but, frankly, she was WAY too busy and she and her boy were a package deal. If people couldn’t accept she had a kid who needed her, she didn’t need them!
So, any ‘match up’ offers or even group mixers were generally turned down. She didn’t need them, their pitying looks if they learned of her home life OR their opinions if said opinions included telling her she was stupid for doing it.
She did NOT need to hear that she should have dumped her brother in an orphanage and lived her own life.
Fuck that noise. Her boy was worth this and so much more!)
Her little brother had been still in elementary school when their parents never returned and she’d taken custody of him as soon as she legally could, as they’d had literally no one else to support them.
Sixteen odd and working for a living.
Well, she’d had worse and Yoohyun made it better by simply being himself.
At least their parents hadn’t left them a debt and she already knew how to live on a budget. She’d been doing if for YEARS at this point and had money put away. Their parents had left quite a bit with the meals so they didn’t have to come back. Enough for the bills and extra.
The only difference was that she knew the money would run out eventually and so moved them to a smaller, much cheaper flat and sold off everything they didn’t need.
They had a little hot house herb garden because she knew they wouldn’t be able to afford to eat out or even get take out except on special occasions.
Yoohyun tended it carefully and did varyingly well.
It was adorable to watch him at it and she helped him set up his only diary/ calendar thing that kept track of water, pruning and harvesting schedules. He got so excited when the plant sprouted or was ready to be harvested. He was always so attentive when she gave instructions and so care ful to follow them as exactly as he could.
This kid. Seriously. Sometimes she just couldn’t help but want to hug the stuffing out of him.
Things were bought in bulk and stored, clothing was brought large to grow into and so on but her boy never complained even though the food was often basic and simple. He didn’t fuss when he couldn’t have trendy clothing or the lates shiny toy/ thing and sometimes had to miss class outings that needed paying for.
Yoohyun learned how to do basic hand sewing along with the cooking and cleaning so he could alter his clothing and repair it if he wanted too. She could get him scraps of cloth and off cuts cheaply and had sourced and old, peddle, sewing machine she fixed up.
Any little corner that could be cut was.
Days off were spent looking for cheap produce and meat and then cooking up a storm so there was food in the freezer.
The large freezer was her one indulgence that she’d kept from their parents belongings, because it meant she could store so much more. Cheap meat cuts and bulk made food went in there to be brought out as needed.
Ah well, even if the work was hard and money was tight, it was also satisfying.
It was worth it to watch her brother strive and thrive.
She insisted on Yoohyun concentrating on his studies though when he wanted to also work to help. Helping with the house hold chores didn’t count apparently?
She begged to differ! Without him taking care of what he could, she would have had to try even if she was to tired and she would have done it badly or not at all..
Him doing them was a MASSIVE help.
His comment of ‘Yeah, but it doesn’t bring in any money’ pretty much broke her heart.
Eventually, she’d had to couch it as ‘I wouldn’t be able to go out and make money if these weren’t being done so you doing them IS helping me make money’ before he’d stop insisting.
Besides, if they were done, it meant, rather than having to do them, Sister could spend what little time she had with him which made a little bit better.
Yoojin was determined that he, at least, would get a good education!
He was going to BE someone, she was sure of it.
(That strange aversion people had to him seemed to have died down some once he got into highschool. Perhaps it was from the meditating they did together? His energy output was certainly less…)
It wasn’t just an overly fond older sister’s doting.
He had the drive, the smarts, the dedication and the presence. He was going to go to the top in whatever he chose to do, she just KNEW it. And she’d be his biggest fan and support every step of the way!
She hadn’t ever dated even before their parents death. Had never felt the urge outside of teenage hormonal crushes and, even then, she was simply too busy for it. She’d already been Yoohyn’s parent in everything but name and busy with her studies and then working any job she could get besides.
If she didn’t parent Yoohyun, no one else was going to, so she’d put dating to the side, despite her parents strong hints that she should find a nice boy/ let them match her already.
She wasn’t even sure she LIKED boys. Besides, it felt a bit weird with all of her extra life knowledge lurking.
With that and her current social reject status, this would likely be her only shot at raising a child this life and she found she fine with that.
She was so, so proud of him… and maybe a little overly attached. Just the teeniest, tiniest bit but proud. She didn’t ear bash people with it but she did take any chance to show off his picture and talk him up.
(She also might have, just a little, arranged with teachers to take pics of videos of class performances and the like she couldn’t be there for. That was one thing she was HAPPY to splurge for. Yoohyn’s embarrassed face was also very cute.)
Give her a break. She didn’t get to raise a kid herself often and he was such a GOOD kid.
He never got into fights, studied hard, helped around the house… she might wish he had more actual friends even if she knew he was popular in school now, or that he could take a bit of time for himself to relax, play, something but he never would without prompting.
She knew their domestic situation wasn’t great but she’d always kept them fed hadn’t she? Always kept on top of his school needs?
(She never let her boy know just how tight money was sometimes because that wasn’t something a kid should worry about. His ‘job’ was to go to school and learn, help with house hold chores and grow up to be a decent person.)
He didn’t need to worry. They were pretty well set up now and he could afford to relax a bit.
He was a kid. He should have a chance to BE a kid…
A person needed more than work in their lives. There had to be something to balance it.
(She’d learned that the hard way…)
Her boy was always so serious. He never spent any time beyond what was mandatory for school around people his age. He didn’t join any clubs or socialise and well… she worried.
He needed to relax sometimes and she knew she hadn’t been a very good example.
That had been something she couldn’t help though and he COULD.
Despite the fact she’d strongly hinted that the good higher learning facilities looked for extra curricular activities in those they considered for sponsorships her boy never really made an effort to join any.
He would if she asked him to but otherwise…
That made helping him try and learn to relax her responsibility then.
So, in her rare brakes, after the cooking was done, she tried to do fun things with him.
Cheap hobbies they could do together, trips to a park or the beach, free entrance festivals and carnivals, exercising and training together…
Well, she tried.
Don’t get her wrong, he was always willing to give it a go but she got the feeling he was just indulging her. None of it seemed to catch his interest and, when given a chance to choose something to do, he was perfectly happy to just spend time with her.
(Well, he did tend their little herb hothouse and hanging pots carefully but that was still a job.
He also typed up the ‘bedtime stories’ - actually recitations of her previous incarnations, modified a bit to be child friendly, after he encouraged her to write them up and sell them as a web based light novel series.
Did it count as a hobby if he wouldn’t do it without her and was mainly doing it for her benefit?
He told her he saw how much big sister enjoyed telling them to him and he’d help her share her stories with EVERYONE which would make her happy… and also get them some pocket money. He noticed that their parents didn’t give them a lot and she made a sad face when she thought no one was looking sometimes. Sister wasn’t allowed to be sad like that.
His story might be full of lies since he HATED her attention being anywhere but him but his reasons got him smothered in affection which he seemed to lap up, despite the stoic face. That seemed to make up for having to share those in his book, apparently.
That continued even when she began working and he was technically too old for bedtime stories and she had no time due to work. When she had a spare moment, she’d record another segment and send it to her boy who would type it out, edit it and put it up online.
On rainy or cold days when going outside wasn’t a good idea, they’d work on that or study together since Yoohyun insisted on fulfilling his promise to help her study from his books.)
In the end, she gave up on activities focused on socializing and continued with the simple exercise regime, the breathing and relaxation techniques she remembered from her previous lives they’d been learning together.
A little bit of massage as well.
Her kid is strong for his age and massage is a good way to help him control his strength. He’s as fond of her as she is of him so he hates hurting her.
He got control fast.
That may have been a bit mean thinking back, but it worked.
When he was a little older, they would meditate together, no matter the weather, to end the day and she came to love it as much as going out and doing other activities.
The familiar but new again breathing patterns were comforting and could help both of them self regulate when the pressure was on and a meltdown felt imminent.
Finding ones that suited her boy best and teaching him variations for this and that was fun.
As he’d grown, his issues with empathizing with others became more pronounced and noticeable. As a kid he couldn’t understand why ripping a branch off someone’s tree to bring her flowers might upset them and didn’t seem to take onboard why upsetting other people might be an issue. Couching it as ‘it would make trouble for older sister’ was pretty much the only thing that seemed to work as a deterrent.
After a few time of older sister needing to apologize for hime, her boy started to watch other children and adults to see what they did and take his cues from there, having to learn what others seemed to pick up innately.
Making trouble for sister was his biggest worry.
(She’d already figured he probably wasn’t nurotypical. Regular morality and social mores wouldn’t work on him.
She remembered their parents had been worried about his lack of reaction and expression.
He didn’t laugh or cry as a baby and it wasn’t until he was four or five that he started smiling back at her. Never their parents since they didn’t like being around Yoohyun but, for her, his smiles were beautiful because they were rare.
Such a solemn faced little boy her Yoohyun was.
Even in his school photos he didn’t smile but she didn’t mind because he smiled for her.
They couldn’t afford testing though and there was still a stigma attached especially with that aura of his.)
Maybe it was related to that inner energy he had?
There might not be active Chi here, or Ki, Qi or any of the other variations but there WAS something. And her boy had it. A LOT of it.
It was what was making that aura that people shied away from before he got control of it.
She doesn’t like the implications of energy like that, but tries to put it aside telling herself she was being paranoid.
He took to meditation and the low key training she used to stay fit with an ease she frankly envied but, overall, he just seemed happy for any time she could spare him.
He was more aware of and better able to manage that energy too… maybe that was why he’d gotten more popular in highschool?
Damn. What did she do to end up with such a great little brother.
(If she told him he was regularly, there was nothing wrong with that right? Nothing wrong with hugs and cuddles and casual affection even if she mainly kept it to an arm over the shoulder or a hair ruffle outside the house.)
Things went on as normal and it was fine. She thought she’d have an ordinary, mundane, hard working life this time where she got to raise a kid and live her life.
She was wrong. That inner energy, of which she didn’t seem to have a lot, probably should have been a hint. That sort of thing rarely happened without cause but she was fully accustomed, acclimated really, to being a person far from the epicenter of whatever world shaking event…
All of a sudden blue /purple door shapes made of an unknown energy that ranged from ground level to hovering at about six stories high appeared in places worldwide, which had her brain giving her a sharp and sudden poke.
She didn’t trust them one bit, for all they seemed to be doing nothing… yet. And that ‘yet’ was the important part.
She made sure to tell her boy as much. Just because it didn’t seem to be dangerous, didn’t mean it wasn’t.
Not that she expected him to listen fully. He might be a good boy but he was at that age now…
He was starting to grow and explore, shaping his own opinions and becoming his own person.
She could, at least, tell him she told him so when the inevitable shit show started though.
More than ever she kept an eye out for people like her Yoohyun. If something was coming, she wanted them to have a hand up.
She’d found six over the years in the various places around the city the many, MANY temp and part time jobs she’d taken on had sent her too, and done what little she could to ease their way, a fair paid here, a gift of food there, a hand warmer, even if none of them kept in touch, at least they should remember that SOMEONE saw them as a person. That not everyone would shun them. She hoped she’d meet them in the future.
Two of them, possibly more desperate than the others, had allowed her to keep in touch.
These two street kids she was feeding regularly and teaching meditation too.
If they could get control the way Yoohyun had, people would start treating them better and they might be able to get help.
She started teaching them safe places to get food and how to sense tense situations and dangerous areas and so steer clear of them.
They weren’t as good at it as she was, but the older of the two did pick up the knack.
She also passed on she and Yoohyun’s old things.
She’d get them off the streets if she could. If they’d go but they seemed to have the same issue Yoohyun had. Not as bad maybe, but people were still wary of them, hurrying by rather than offering any help.
(If the meditation technique of power regulation worked, she offer to teach anyone like them that she came across. Kids deserved to be kids, scary aura regardless.)
Also to be very wary of those Gates. Something about them was making their inner energy spike and she wasn’t sure that was a good thing.
She did recommend getting as far from them as possible, or themselves undercover if anything about the portals changed…
When she was able, she gave them odd jobs to do for food or coin change.
She passed on clothes and blankets. Helped them learn reading, counting and writing.
It wouldn’t be up to school standards and it was in snatched moments, but it was better than nothing. The practiced writing characters with a stick in the dirt.
If she could take them in, she would have in a heart beat… but she couldn’t afford it and knew it.
Giving them what little she could was hard enough but she was able to get them odd jobs, find safe corners for them to sleep in, buy them small things like hand warmers to give as birthday presents as they had their own pride.
She didn’t ask for their stories. It wasn’t her business. They'd tell her if they wanted her to know and not if they didn’t.
The kids weren’t related at all, you could tell that just by looking, but their inner energy was synchronous some how and they’d become partners. They trusted eachother.
It took seeing her Yoohyun and FEELING him, even with his ‘aura’ turned right down for them to trust her though.
(She made note of that. If she wanted to ‘hook’ other shunned fishies, they needed to FEEL she was trust worthy. Once she had their trust, she could teach them how to help themselves… and maybe teach their families how to tolerate, if not welcome them.
Ununwelcoming home was horrible, but it beat being on the streets, so long as the family wasn’t abusive or violent.
She could teach them where and how to find food if that became a problem… shelter was harder to find and the desire not to be looked down on would keep the families from depriving the children of an education or skimping on their clothing. Hopefully.)
It was working for her Stray test cases Little bit by little bit people were shying away and ignoring them less and, when one of her neighbours recognised the older kid as the child of an acquaintance and offered to take her in, the kid agreed, so long as her friend could also come.
It might not be the warmest of households, but at least it got them off the street and they could begin their education properly again.
They could also turn that aura back on if they wanted too.
Yoojin kept up contact as best she could but otherwise patted herself on the back for a job well done and moved on.
Yoohyun was her first priority though and neither of them had met him except in passing.
She kept an eye out but she had little time to spare and working full time, studying with Yoohyun and keeping the bills paid and the domestic tasks done ate most of the rest of her time.
Except for when work colleagues or her bosses took her out, she had no social life and that didn’t bother her.
Most days, she was too tired to care. She doesn’t need more than six hours of sleep, no, really.