Chapter 13
It was late now, the kind of late that stretches shadows and magnifies every fear. Lisa stood at the door of Carla’s flat, where she had just been a few hours ago, her heart heavy with dread. Tears threatened to spill as she knocked, anxiety knotting in her stomach. When Carla opened the door, concern flickered across her face.
She immediately knew something was wrong. “Hey…what’s happened, Lisa?” Carla stepped forward, instinctively pulling Lisa into a comforting embrace before guiding her to the couch and hastily pouring a steaming cup of coffee.
As they sat, Lisa felt the floodgates open. Sobs wracked her body as words spilled out in a rush of anguish: “Betsy told me… she was the one who orchestrated the break-in.” The disbelief and betrayal wrapped around her heart, squeezing tight. “How could my daughter do something like that?”
Carla's heart sank as she absorbed the revelation, but Lisa continued, her voice rising with every syllable. “I don’t know what I’m going to do! I feel like I’ve failed as a mother. My daughter could end up in prison, and it’s all my fault!”
The pain radiating from Lisa was palpable, and she added, “I dragged you into this mess. I’m so sorry, Carla. You didn’t deserve this—you could have died!”
With a voice barely above a whisper, Carla attempted to respond, “I knew.”
But Lisa wouldn’t let her finish, a surge of anger suddenly erupting inside her, like a volcano about to spill over. “What do you mean, you knew? When Betsy came to see you at the hospital? All this time you knew?” Her voice rose, anger swirling with sorrow. “Why didn’t you tell me? I was working overtime trying to figure it all out and the whole time you knew?!”
Carla opened her mouth to explain, but Lisa pressed on, unwavering. “You were in a position to warn me! I was tangled in my own emotions, and you let me walk into this blind! I trusted you! You are supposed to look out for me! I understand me wanting to protect my daughter, but why would you want to protect Betsy? She almost got you killed!”
Lisa’s voice cracked, swirling into a full-blown tirade as her frustrations boiled over. “How could you think keeping this from me was a good idea? What kind of person does that? I thought you cared about me?! I can’t believe you let me go on without the truth! What was I supposed to do, just sit back and let it all happen?”
She launched herself off the sofa, unable to contain the frustration she felt towards Carla. She paced back and forth, tears mingling with anger, feeling the weight of betrayal in an unbearable tidal wave, leaving Carla sitting across from her, speechless and unable to interject.
After a few more minutes of pacing and shouting, the blonde took a seat at the dining table and Carla was finally able to interrupt Lisa’s animated rambling, feeling a sudden weight in her chest, a truth that had long been growing, demanding to be spoken.
For months now, she had wanted to share her feelings with Lisa, aching to tell her how much she loved her. Every time she almost found the courage, the moment slipped away. But tonight, in this moment, Carla knew she had to finally let her feelings out.
“Lisa,” Carla began, her voice shaky but resolute. She took a deep breath, eyes fixed on her girlfriend. The words rushed out, almost against her will. “I did it because I love you!”
Time seemed to stop. The surrounding sounds faded as Lisa’s jaw dropped, shock written all over her face. Carla’s heart raced, a mix of hope and trepidation.
“I know this moment isn’t perfect,” Carla continued, her voice trembling. “But I can’t hide it anymore. I love you, and I’ve loved you for longer than i’ve wanted to admit to myself. All i want to do is protect you- protect Betsy. I need to keep you both safe.”
Lisa's eyes darted around, scanning the room as if searching for a way out. Carla felt her heart drop. “Lisa, please say something?”
Without a word, Lisa stood up abruptly, her chair scraping against the floor in a loud protest. “I… I need to go.”
“Wait!” Carla called, panic rising as she watched Lisa’s face pale. “Lisa, please don’t run away again. Just listen!”
But Lisa shook her head, her eyes filled with fear. “I can’t do this right now.” She turned on her heel and rushed for the door, leaving Carla sitting there, stunned and heartbroken.
“Lisa!” Carla shouted, but the sound was lost in the noise of the door slamming shut behind her.
The warmth of the moment dissolved into an icy void. Carla sat there, her breath catching in her throat. How had it come to this? Her heart raced with confusion and sadness, the truth she had hoped would bring them closer now creating an insurmountable distance.
It struck her with a pang: it felt like they were back at square one. The memories of their intimate moments, shared laughter, and whispered secrets now seemed like distant echoes, fading under the weight of uncertainty. Questions churned violently in her mind, like a storm threatening to unravel everything they'd built together.
Did she scare Lisa, pushing too hard for a connection that felt too real, too intense? Was her love overwhelming, smothering the very person she longed to be close to? Or perhaps, in her eagerness to embrace what they had, she had rushed into something too quickly, oblivious to the fragile boundaries Lisa had always maintained? Each possibility gnawed at Carla, feeding her unease.
What if, after all the progress they had made, Lisa was still haunted by her past, so afraid of vulnerability that she couldn't quite let herself stay? The thought gripped Carla like a vice, constricting her heart with dread.
Memories flooded back—those moments when Lisa had recoiled, the hesitance in her voice when things got too deep. All the times she had run away when things got too intense. Had Carla, in her sincerity, misread the signals? Or had Lisa truly wanted to move forward with her, only to find herself overwhelmed by the depth of their connection?
With each question, Carla felt the familiar sting of self-doubt creeping in, saturating her thoughts with anxiety. She wasn’t just losing Lisa; she was losing the possibility of all the dreams they’d dared to entertain together. What if this was the end of the road for them, so soon after it had started? The notion sent a shiver down her spine, and she clenched her fists, grappling with the fear that this might be another daydream fading into the shadows of reality.
With trembling hands, she reached for her coffee but found it cold and bitter, much like the feeling that was settling inside her. All the laughter, the shared moments, seemed to haunt her now. Would Lisa return, or had she lost her forever in that moment of honesty?
Moving to look out of the window, Carla could see Lisa’s silhouette disappearing down the cobbled street, swallowed by the night. The warmth of the flat felt suffocating in contrast to the chill that enveloped Carla’s heart. She stood there alone, grappling with the reality that sometimes love, despite its power, might not be enough to keep someone from running away.