Chapter 14
Lisa’s breath hitched in her throat as Carla poured out her heart, telling her she loved her. Just days earlier, Lisa had been summoning the courage to express her own feelings to the brunette. Yet, in that moment, looking into Carla’s earnest eyes, the words felt imprisoned within her, as her mind was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of anger, betrayal, and grief. Instead of replying, she did what she always did when faced with vulnerability—she ran.
In a matter of seconds, Lisa bolted out the door and found herself walking, almost sprinting, down the dark, cobbled street. Every beat of her heart urged her to turn back, to race into Carla’s arms and confess that she loved her too. But an invisible barrier held her back. She was still grappling with the turmoil of her past—the haunting memories of Becky. The fear that the last remnants of her past were slipping away too swiftly left her gasping for breath, paralysed by a sense of loss that was too overwhelming to confront.
Lisa had never anticipated that Carla might feel the same way. Deep down, she suspected it, perhaps even wished for it, but Carla’s passionate declaration had blindsided her, leaving her frozen in shock. It felt as though that single moment had shattered the carefully constructed walls Lisa had built around her heart, exposing her to raw vulnerability she wasn’t prepared to face. She felt out of control.
Just weeks ago, they had navigated the chaos of the break-in, moments that should have drawn them closer. But now, everything felt tainted by the revelation that Carla had kept a monumental secret.
With each surge of adrenaline, new waves of anger flooded Lisa’s mind. How could Carla keep something so crucial from her? Did she think protecting her would shield her from the truth? Deep down, Lisa had never imagined that the woman she trusted would hide something like this. Instead of support, Carla’s silence had felt like betrayal, shattering Lisa’s trust and plunging her into a sea of hurt.
As she walked further into the night, surrounded by the comforting gloom, memories of Becky flooded back to her mind. Their laughter, the warmth of shared dreams, the promises made—they all felt like phantoms in her memory, tethering her to a life she had tried so hard to rebuild without losing herself in the process. She cherished those moments but feared that by embracing her love for Carla, she would betray what she had lost.
The anger still surged within her, and the fury wasn’t just directed at her daughter for getting involved; it also simmered toward Carla for knowing and withholding such a monumental truth. How could Carla confess her love but keep Lisa’s world hanging in the balance? The emotional uproar left Lisa gasping, feeling betrayed and abandoned by the person she longed to trust.
But running didn't solve anything. Each step felt heavier than the last as guilt surged within her, gnawing at her conscience. She was leaving behind the woman who had so patiently uncovered the layers of her heart, who had breathed life into her days with joy and understanding. Despite the current anger she felt towards the brunette, Carla didn’t deserve this heartache—she was a good person. A beacon of light, guiding Lisa through her darkest moments, and yet here she was, fleeing into the night.
Lisa paused in her stride, the cool night air wrapping around her like a cloak. She stood there, wrestling with the conflicting emotions swirling within her. The fear of moving forward battled against the desire to hold onto a flicker of hope. Perhaps it was time to confront her feelings, to face the possibility of love rather than run from it. Would acknowledging her love for Carla mean completely letting go of Becky, or could there be space for both in her heart?
With a deep breath, Lisa turned back toward the path she had fled from, the cobblestones reflecting the moonlight as she retraced her steps. She needed to talk to Carla, to share everything she had been holding inside. It was time to stop running and start embracing the possibility of a new chapter—one that honored her past while opening her heart to the present.
—————-
Lisa’s footsteps echoed in the stillness as she made her way back along the familiar path. With each step, she felt the weight of her decision settle deeper within her. Carla was waiting, heart open, and Lisa couldn’t silence the voice inside her that insisted she had to try.
As she approached the cozy, warm glow spilling from Carla’s window, she hesitated, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Carla further with her uncertainty. But honesty was essential, not just for her but for the woman she loved.
As Lisa stood outside Carla’s building, she took a moment to steady herself before pressing the buzzer. The sound echoed in the stillness, and moments later, she heard a soft voice crackle through the speaker.
“Hello?”
“It’s me, Lisa,” she replied, her heart racing. A second later, the door clicked open, granting her entry.
She stepped inside and made her way up the familiar staircase, each step feeling heavier than the last. As she ascended to Carla’s flat, Lisa couldn’t shake the tumult of emotions swirling within her—fear, hope, and an undeniable longing.
When she finally reached Carla’s door, she hesitated for a brief moment, taking a deep breath to gather her thoughts. Revitalised by resolve, she knocked gently on the door.
A heartbeat later, the door swung open, revealing Carla with eyes wide in surprise and a mix of hope, worry and tears etched on her face. “Lisa?” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry for breaking your trust.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Lisa said, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes. “I panicked. I didn’t mean to run away from you. I just... I didn’t know how to respond. Everything is so overwhelming and i feel so out of control.”
Carla stepped back, looking inviting yet vulnerable. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come back,” she confessed, her tone trembling slightly. They settled onto the sofa, back into the welcoming warmth of the living room. “I thought I had scared you off.”
“You didn’t scare me,” Lisa replied, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Yes, i was angry… but I was also scared of everything else—what I feel for you, the memory of Becky, the fear of moving on.”
Carla’s eyes softened as she reached for Lisa's hand, intertwining their fingers. “It’s okay to feel that way. You don’t have to apologise for how you feel. I know this is complicated, but I’m here for you, no matter what, if you’ll let me?”
The sincerity in Carla’s gaze struck a chord deep within Lisa. “I know. I’m so sorry for running. What i should have done is told you that…” she paused, tears now flowing freely, “I love you too, so much” she admitted, her voice trembling with the weight of unexpressed emotions. “But it terrifies me. I don’t want to dishonor Becky’s memory, and yet I can’t ignore what’s happening between us.”
Carla gazed into Lisa’s tear filled eyes, with nothing other than pure love and understanding. “It’s possible to love someone and still carry the memory of another,” Carla said softly. “You don’t have to choose one over the other. Becky will always be a part of you, and that doesn’t take away from what we have. Your heart can hold space for both.”
Lisa squeezed Carla’s hands, feeling a mix of relief and fear wash over her. “You really mean that?”
“Absolutely,” Carla replied, her voice steady and soothing. “You don’t have to rush anything. Just let yourself feel what you feel. We can take this at your pace.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of Lisa’s lips. “I want to try. I want to love you the way you deserve. I just need some time to figure this all out.”
“Then let’s take our time,” Carla said, her expression brightening as she leaned closer. “We can start right here, right now. No pressure, just us.”
As they sat together in the cozy atmosphere, Lisa felt a flicker of hope rekindle within her. She leaned against Carla, feeling the warmth of her body beside her, the soothing rhythm of her breath. It no longer felt like running away—it felt like starting anew. They could build something beautiful together, honoring both the past and the present, allowing love to flourish amid the complexities of their intertwined lives.
In that quiet moment, with the stars shimmering outside, Lisa let the walls surrounding her heart begin to crumble, allowing herself to embrace the love she had for Carla. And for the first time in a long while, she felt a sense of peace wash over her, a profound understanding that love could truly be both a refuge and a new beginning. With Carla's unwavering support and strength, Lisa finally felt equipped to navigate the storm that was Betsy.
“I love you, Carla.”
“I love you too, Lisa.”
*** The End ***