Phantom Pains

Time moved in a way that she could no longer understand when she left the market. She couldn't even remember if her bag of vegetables was still hand. Her eyes looked a paler shade, glossy and blank as the sun gleamed off them. She walked melodically in a trance, her kimono fluttering in the breeze. If anyone tried to stop her, she certainly wouldn't have seen them.

It was like a death march, walking herself towards her own tomb. As a melodic song rang out around her, she walked with transfixed purpose. She knew exactly where to go, even if she had no recollection of it, her legs carried her.

The scene around her quickly changed as a garden of wilted flowers came into view- though not her view. For Chihiro wasn't seeing any of it for herself, like another pair of eyes had taken over. Her feet dragged against the ground like her consciousness was trying to fight against it, but she was not strong enough. Chihiro wasn't equipped for this... She never should have let the sight of those who were. A small clearing from trees was out in front of her as went towards a place she'd been before. That one day she stood in front of a man with a cruel smile, was all coming back as a smell of fresh water hit her nostrils.

It was strange as she stood on the cliff's edge staring down below her, the rocky water a long ways down. It was a dizzying feeling watching waves collapse against the cliff. In that moment she was given back more of her sanity, more recognition to what was taking place. But, it was all warped. Through hazy eyes she looked around, a faint smile dancing on her lips as a breeze blew her hair wildly.

Chihiro knew nothing of the panic taking place in the city she left behind. She didn't know the ANBU sighted a cloaked man jumping from rooftop to rooftop. She didn't know that Neji Hyuga and everyone else was tearing apart Konoha to find her. All she knew was that presented in front of her- the ability to go home. It was a tiny voice in the back of her head feeding her lies, urging her to take steps forward. "Three steps and you'll be home", "Die here and you'll wake up in your body in Yggdrasil", "Don't be scared I won't let it hurt." And it all made sense to her as an unknown force had sway over her mind.

The jutsu cast upon her kept her from hearing the woosh of air behind her or someone landing on their feet. She didn't hear him walk up at first until he spoke.

"Chihiro,"

Hearing her name made, made her spin around in surprise, like it was the first step to breaking through a barrier. The part of the jutsu mysterious that allowed her consciousness began to show, "you found me?"

"Come here." Neji commanded sternly while holding a hand out, "what are you doing?"

"I need to try something..." Neji couldn't recognize the look on Chihiro's face, alarm trembling through his veins as he inched closer.

"Why don't you step away and we can talk about this."

"I just... I know this place is important. Why else did that man bring me here? I need to try it-"

"Chihiro-"

"I need to go home!" she sounded insane, sleep deprived, maniacal. Her eyes were alit with a false belief as she looked at him in desperation for him to understand.

"This isn't going to get you home, nothing that dangerous would be the way. Let's just think about it for a second." even if he knew common sense wouldn't help them in the moment, Neji was desperate to get her to listen. It was the fact he could be calm during battle that was carrying him in the moment, as his very core wanted to go against better drastic to get her. No matter how bad the outcomes he always strived, even now. Even now as this made his heart shatter seeing the girl he was breaking his walls down for... so broken. And that scared him.

"Neji, you've been so so kind to me," she said sweetly, "but I have to do this. It's the only thing that makes sense to me right now."

"You're not thinking straight. This will kill you Chi. Kill you, don't you get that?"

"No no this will bring me home-"

Neji was besides himself whilst trying to listen to her preach nonsense he knew she'd never say. He had to get to her before she could take the plunge while not scaring her into falling or rushing into it, "Chihiro this isn't you... there's a jutsu on you and you need to fight it or let me help you." he had to be careful with his approach as she was in a frail mindset that anything could set her off. He couldn't move too quick or he'd spook her, but he couldn't be too slow either. His mind was racing with possible outcomes- one for each decision she make and how he could counteract it.

"This is how..." Chihiro had a half dizzy smile on her face as she turned her back to him. It was like this was her coming of age moment, the trumpets all blaring as she took a few steps closer to the edge. That was his que as her arms fluttered forward, body seeming to lean across-

But Neji was faster.

She shrieked as her waist was grabbed and yanked away, dragged far from the cliffs edge to safety, "let me go!" she yelled as she struggled in his iron clad grasp around her. Chihiro tried to fight him, tried to wiggle to escape, but no luck was on her side. The scene must have looked pathetic or hysterical, Neji half carrying an inconsolable girl who was fighting for her life to get away from him all while unwavering in his grasp.

Her body began to give out on her as her legs went limp, collapsing into the shinobi. Neji carefully went to the ground with her where she sat on her knees in a 'W' position. With each breath her body shook as tears streamed down her face, dripping off her jawline. In her eyes was fear, pain, and regret. Neji never let go of over as her sobs took over once more. He kept her against his chest with one arm, his other hand protectively smoothing down her hair, as his lips were pressed to the top of her head in a thin line. "It'll be okay," he cooed.

It was then that backup arrived- in form of Sakura and Naruto... Kakashi seconds later. The three watched from yards away as Neji cradled the sobbing girl, trying his best. But they could see his chakra was different, could feel that is was wavering power like in a way that his entire being itself was sad.

When Neji activated his Byakugan he saw it clear as day- this wasn't fully her he was correct about a jutsu taking her over. There was a small crimson red tainting her perfect aura. She was under someone's control, he could finally confirm that for himself instead of hearsay. He watched before his eyes as the flame like chakra began to disintegrate, burn out like it was being suffocated. So Neji smothered her with his own chakra, trying to emit it in a way to shield her from anything doing ill upon her. Slowly her own swirling, purple aura returned at a weak force, but all that mattered was that it was back. Chihiro's eyes snapped open, the tears ending abruptly as she looked around.

"Where am I?" her voice was hoarse, her head pounding, "Why.. why am I here?" confusion littered her thoughts as she saw the cliff behind Neji.

"Chi..." Neji muttered, "we should leave..."

"No what... What did I do?" Chihiro asked a question she already knew the answer to deep down, the heavy pit in her gut alerting her. She felt her voice crack as she sniffled, the flood gates re-opening.

"It's okay."

"Neji..." she sobbed, burying her face into his chest making his eyes widen, "Did I? Did I try-"

"We don't need to talk about it-"

"I tried to throw myself off, didn't I?" Chihiro's voice was raising as she began to lose sight, beginning to hyperventilate.

Sakura rushed forward to be by her side, not caring that her arms probably wrapped around Neji in the process. For once Nauro stood speechless, head down as Kakashi patted him on the back- nodding at him to leave.

"I can't swim."

Chihiro's words reverberated through everyone there. Realizing that even if she had survived the fall off the cliff, the person who took her over knew she wouldn't have been able to survive the water.

"He knew that.."

No one knew what to say, as their responses would only confirm the fears. Chihiro felt numb inside. She felt guilt and the inability to comprehend her actions or mindset. The last moments she remembered was shopping at the market for vegetables to try eating, and next thing she knew she was in Neji's arms. And as it slowly came back to her as she realized that based off location, what she tried to do. Because deep down she had those feelings, like they were implanted in her to set the stage for her death.

It was desperation that had her gripping to Neji like he'd disperse at any moment. But desperation on his end that made him wonder if she'd be taken over again. He'd never touch someone like this, never around people. Yet it didn't matter as Sakura helped him steady her to stand. Nothing but Chihiro mattered as he held on to her waist as they walked forward, her steps wobbly. Chihiro wasn't hearing them talk to her as her hearing was like a never ending onslaught of white noise. Ringing in her ears as realization began to destroy her. She'd tried to kill herself. Tried to die from hitting a rock below in the water or from drowning. She'd fallen victim to someone invading the privacy of her mind to use her weaknesses, to let them make her do it.

Neji stayed by Chihiro's side the rest of the night. She didn't say much, but when she did it ranged from "I'm sorry" to "I would never have done that" to "I can't believe this.." And Neji believed her. He felt anger towards the man who took control of her, for putting her in that situation. Her eyes were so blank as she'd stare straight ahead unblinking that it unnerved him.

"Chihiro... that wasn't you back there. Don't be too hard on yourself." Neji repeated that over and over, and he'd continue to do so until she believed him, "you had no control over your decisions."

Chihiro ignored everyone that came in and out of the infirmary room, from medical-nins to new friends. She hugged her knees that were drawn to her chest, head resting on top of them. Dried tear marks were caked onto her cheeks, more on their way. Disbelief. Sadness. Her heart yearned for home knowing she was seconds away from never seeing Yggdrasil again. It was unfair as the words she spoke to Neji came flying back at her. Chihiro had sounded insane as she preached going home by drowning herself. The whole thing was insane to her, unbelievable- she could hardly believe that it happened! She went from enjoying her life last night to the stark contrast of now... she never would have wanted that. If it takes her years to get back to Yggdrasil then so be it, but she wouldn't risk her life. All she could think about were the 'what if's', imagining herself suffocating below water's surface. It was cruel to do to herself, cruel to make the weight on her chest press harder and harder by thinking of her dying. But it was all she could do as it was almost her reality.

That night after hours of tears and forcing herself to stay awake, throwing up anything she ate, Chihiro finally fell asleep. Her dreams were taut with nightmares of water, dark figures, and standing at her own funeral. She'd watched as her loved ones came and went, shedding tears over her 'sleeping body.'

Neji watched her tumultuous form struggle as she slept, soft pleas eliciting from her lips as she seemed in pain. He wanted to shake her awake but knew that would be a bad idea, so he fled from the room.

The air was dense within the plain white walls of the hospital, machines beeping from rooms all around him. The shinobi prided himself off his ability to stay emotionally in tact, stay level headed, and unmoved. He was particular with how he spent his days and who he spent them with- until Chihiro came along. He'd thought about her plenty of time sure, she tended to plague his well being when he was alone at night. But the reality of almost losing her frightened him, he wasn't sure how long it would take to rid her words from his memory. Flashes of her body standing at the cliff's edge heading towards it, would haunt him for awhile.

But for now the two most important things were- keeping Chihiro safe and putting an end to the madness.

Coldness and indifference seemed like a foreign trait for Neji who warmed because of her.