Chapter 2
Kakashi absently twirls a kunai with his chibi fingers, standing on outskirts of the village again as he contemplates if the six shadow clones he made today in the class were an overkill. He has to be careful now okay?- to continue to appear to his teachers as a young genius and not as a damn once in a generation freak (40 something Rokudaime) who can spawn one S Rank jutsu after another.That would probably get him thrown in T&I or Root or both - which Kakashi would 10/10 not recommend.
Look the thing is, Kakashi is many things but no one has ever accused him of being a knuckleheaded idiot ( except perhaps Obito…..). The point is he doesn’t know if his chibified body can handle the thousand jutsus that his mind knows, and he knows that he can’t test it at the academy, Hatake grounds or any official training grounds.Which leaves him a very tiny window to actually train - cue when Sakumo is busy/on missions and to his utter disappointment (delight) it was a very tiny little window.
So he planned to make the most of it whenever he could.But as you might already know - esteemed sixth Hokage of leaf village isn’t exactly known for having the best of luck with his plans.
And as his luck would have it - you know who else can’t train on the official training grounds anymore because after he rage destroyed like 4 of them the Sandaime finally asked him to cut it out and find some place else to blow his steam? Kakashi’s third favorite esteemed Sannin. Orochimaru - sama. So now he was just planning on observing the crazy snake Sannin and his cute snake summon (who resembles Sasuke’s noodle puppy Aoda) train, concealing his own chakra as he was gonna have to deal with this problem sooner rather than later. Oh but wait……..on a closer glance, Kakashi didn’t like the all too familiar look on his face. One of grief and regrets. So ofcourse he did what any good hearted person ( having no self preservation ) would do. He approached the psycopath with a giddy smile on his face.
“Orochimaru Sama - Snake sama…. “ he yelled bouncing on his little legs “ It’s an honour….” proclaimed the little Hatake and Orochimaru almost squaked in indignation as Manda watched him with curious wide eyes. Listen, Orochimaru would like to think that he has a certain reputation in the village okay? One that would make experienced Jounins freeze and think thrice (maybe more times?) before approaching him. So sue him if he was not expecting anyone - a child if you may - to call out to him with such bubbling enthusiasm. Did this kid have no internal voice that told him not to do certain - very dangerous things? “ You stupid kid - what are doing here ? Go back to your damn parents before I tear you limb from limb ….” he hisses and is almost intrigued when Kakashi doesn’t squirm under his gaze or cry due to his venemous words.
The little boy just continues on with introducing himself as if Orochimaru - a Sannin didn’t just threaten to slaughter him. “ (another day - another scary ninja who wants him dead - perfectly normal) I am Hatake Kakashi and I want to learn from you Sannin sama….” the boy tells him and ok….this was his comrade's (friend's?)…..Sakumo’s little pup and he was kinda (not kinda) very annoying (cute - …..Orochimaru wanted to smother him - not) “ I will feed you to my snake if you don’t leave this instance….”
That would have made any actual five year old with even an inling of self preservation piss their pants and run crying to their parents and then Orochiamru would probably have to deal with a fuming White Fang which he would have been more concerned about if he himself had any self preservation left.
Instead “Ewww…..” chides the boy…..” I don’t think Snake Sama wants to eat raw meat - it tastes horrible - 0/10 would not recommend….” and Manda the jerk that he is snorts and laughs…….the audacity! “ Excuse me do you even know who I am?” - this crazy child swears Orochimaru. Kami he didn’t think there would be ever a day when there’s a kid crazier than him in Konoha.
“Duh…..why else would I want to learn from you and Snake sama?” the damn baby Hatake says as he moves forward to pet his damn summon and Manda (the jerk) lets him. He doesn’t even let Orochimaru pet him - what in the world?!“I got Dango for you Snake sama - it tastes much better….“ Kakashi tells Manda and the puppy noodle perks up at this as Kakashi pulls out four Dango sticks from Kami knows where and feeds two of them to Manda…
“Manda….” scolds Orochimaru and “ What!” the jerk huffs, chewing on his Dango and challenges his summoner as Kakashi shoves another dango stick in Orochimaru’s face. “ I got some for you too….”
“No thanks -” Wait…when did he go from death threats to casual pleasentaries? Orochimaru doesn’t like this one bit. The Hatake shrugs, as he pops a dango in his mouth.
“Can I have the last one then?” Manda asks the kid hopefully and might Orochimaru note , civil and polite, almost cooing if a snake could coo and the Hatake nods. “ I like you pup….you should come meet my little pup some day…..His name is Aoda and he is but a babe….but I think you two would get along” says Manda….Yeah no shit! And what?! Ok wait but what? “ Oooh….Ooohh please Snake sama….I want to…..I want to go with you...” Kakashi chirps and “You can’t take him to your Snake Land. He isn’t even your summoner…”Manda grumbles at Orochimaru….threatening killing intent -
“You jerk you never even let me pet you - how do I know you or some other crazy brother of yours don’t actually eat him….” he supplies petulantly.“You are never polite and you never bring me dango - “ Manda broods which okay? No one told Orochimaru that was a thing he should do?
”And his dad would have both of our heads!And Hatakes have dog and wolf summons…….this would cause problems” Orochimaru tries to reason.
Manda snorts….” I would like to see them damn Ninkens try to keep him from me…”
Kakashi nods begrudgigly. “Tou - san would worry but I wanna go with Snake Sama…..Pakkun and Bisuke are totally not the jealous type(he thinks?)….Bull might get a little sad but my doggos would understand…..eventually....“ he rambles.
“Don’t worry Kakashi kun - I am sure Orochimaru can fix a play date with your dad’s permission…..and he will chaperone….” he hisses at his summoner in warning, threatning killing intent again if he dared disagree. “ I will get going for now, it was great meeting you Kashi kun….”
“The honour is mine- “ says Kakashi and pauses - “Snake Sama -”
“Manda..” the snake provides helpfully and he was totally cooing.
“Ofcourse….Manda Sama…” he bows as the snake disappears in a puff of smoke.
Orochimaru raises a curious eyebrow at the pup.” Do you have a deathwish?”
“Maa - you are estmeed ninja of the village who protects us like my dad. Why would I be scared of you. You are friend - so your summons are friends….“ the boy smiles through his little adorable eyes and no - the psycopaths heart is not melting (it’s not!)
But something in Orochimaru’s heart sure does ache at the sound of word friend. A gap left by the two most important people in his life- at a time like this -painfully evident.
“You look sad….”.says the Hatake and- “My Tou - san says shinobi are those who endure for a purpose. You must be strong. So I want to learn from you - “ damn this kid!
“Forget it Hatake…”Kakashi totally doesn’t stomp his foot on the ground and he definitely doesn’t throw a temper tantrum at the Sannin. He is a 40 something Rokudaime and this was a strategic tantrum and by the end of it Orochimaru just wants to hand over this kid sized problem to it’s rightful owner - the older Hatake.
“Yes finally……ugh see that wasn’t so hard….” huffs the child triumphantly …..”Now I just need a cup of sake…”
Orochimaru had already given up on all sanity in this godforsaken child. “You are five…”
The kid shrugs again non chalantly.
Sakumo absolutely doesn’t panic and freak out when he sees a certain Snake Sannin in his home , drinking a cup of milk with his little kid and rambling on about chakra techniques. (That would be very undignified for the White Fang)So no, he is totally cool, TOTALLY!