Chapter 1
Naruto could never understand what made him different from the others who lived in the village. From the moment he could walk on two feet he was pushed and shoved. The day he said his first words he had learned that it was better to say silent because people didn't like when something like him talked.
Monster, they called him. For a while he thought that that might be his name but the older children in the orphanage laughed when he said just that. Apparently that wasn't what someone was called, it was who they were.
I'm a monster, he thought quietly to himself. If I'm a monster then what's my name?
You're pathetic, a voice in his head whispered. You don't even know your own name.
He wasn't sure if other people heard voices in their head. But when he heard the voice whispering it always said things that hurt worse than the people of the village.
When he slept on the floor of a closet with a small blanket because the others said he shouldn't be allowed to sleep with them, the voice was there.
Treated worse than a dog... at least they get beds.
When he curled up during dinner time because the matron of the orphanage refused to feed him, the voice was there.
Maybe if you starve to death we will be rid of the excuse of a life you live.
It was then that he realized he wasn't living like the others. Why did they laugh and play while he was rejected and ignored? Why did they get food and beds to sleep on? Why did he have nothing, not even a name?
With tears in his eyes he begged for his life to end at the age of 6. He didn't want this life. Maybe it was selfish of him to want things that everyone seemed to think he didn't deserve but he couldn't bring himself to care. Yet it didn't matter what he wanted because the next day he opened his eyes and found himself forced to live.
The voice stayed silent after that. Even the voices in his head didn't want him.
It was wrong of him to hope because when he did he was always disappointed. He didn't know why he continued even when the world proved that it was never to change in its harsh ways. But he felt anyway, blooming in his chest like a flower, the day an old man called out to him.
"Naruto. Naruto. Naruto!"
He looked in every direction but there was no one around. It dawned on him once he met the old man's eyes that he was calling out to him.
"Naruto," he whispered to himself like a mantra. His name was Naruto.
"Are you alright boy?" the older man frowned at him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were talking to me," he spoke and flinched away expecting a blow that never came.
He looked up in surprise as the old man's frown deepened. The villagers always hit him when he didn't listen yet this man didn't.
"Well I guess that's to be expected since we've never met before. I am the hokage of the village and I've come to get you."
Naruto looked at the hokage in slight shock and got up from the grass he laid in. His shock grew and grew as the hokage told him he was leaving the orphanage and that he was to start in the academy once summer ended. All he could do was follow the old man to the apartment and accept what was happening.
Maybe this was it he thought to himself as he looked around the cruddy apartment. It didn't matter that it smelled like mold, that the paint was peeling, that the wooden floor looked warped or that there was nothing in it but a bed. He was done living like a dog in the closet. He had his own place and his own bed! He even got to go to school. Ninja school!
"I'll come by once a month to pay the rent and check on you since you don't have any parents. I'm leaving you this," the man handed him a small envelope. "-so you can buy food. Try not to spend it all at once."
He took the money and watched the man leave before it finally dawned on him. He ran to catch up while huffing and shouting at the top of his lungs, "WAIT!"
"What is it, child?"
Although he saw the man's amused smile he couldn't help but stand on shaky legs as he dared to ask what he wanted.
"Can you say my name?"
"Your name?"
His heart felt like it was going to come out of his chest at the speed it was going.
"My full name. My last name."
His breath caught as the smile turned into a look of confusion. He pleaded with everything in him that the man would say it. He begged whatever gods existed in the universe even if they might hate him like everyone else.
"Uzumaki. You are Uzumaki Naruto."
For the first time since he was a little baby that didn't know better, he smiled.
Naruto couldn't help but feel disappointed when the world stayed the same even though his whole world had changed. He still felt their glares and heard their words. He couldn't bring himself to seek out other kids to play when he knew they would shun him. Some of the older ones threw eggs at his door and wrote words. He wondered how they found out where he lived.
The worst part was trying to find food. He hoped that he could eat with the money he had given but it never seemed to be enough. He spent half of his money on 3 cups of ramen. It was good he learned how to ignore his stomach.
But he was glad that the hokage ended up coming with him to get clothes for the academy. He found a bright orange jumpsuit on sale and although he liked the color he didn't want to stand out. He got it anyway.
The academy wasn't as good as the kids at the orphanage used to say. He didn't know if it was because he didn't know how to read and write, or because the teachers hated him also. They gave him sharp looks like the rest of the village. The kids in his class weren't much different.
He struggled to keep up in taijutsu and his classmates always beat him up. Most of the kids in the academy came from clans or had family who were shinobi. He wondered if his parents were ninja. Is that why they let him join the academy?
He tried to use chakra but nothing he did worked well. He found himself sitting on his bed trying to meditate in hopes it would help his chakra control. Once he felt it flow through his body he knew he was close. He tried moving it around his body and even outwards. It was hard to contain his gasp when he felt his chakra flow from out of him. He could feel the chakra around him and the people around him. It became a habit for him to use his chakra that way.
As months passed Naruto found himself separating himself from his classmates as he grew tired of the mocking. He saw himself failing the academy and knew there wasn't anything he could do about it. It scared him to think that the hokage might send him back to the orphanage if he failed.
He learned eventually that the academy would not kick him out if he failed. So he failed. And failed.
When he laid in bed after being beaten and bruised after failing the exam again, the voice was there.
It is disgusting to see you try knowing it will never be enough.
Naruto couldn't help but resent the people in the village knowing that they set him up to fail.
A bad shinobi is dead shinobi. They want you dead.
He suddenly felt trapped beneath his skin, caged in flesh and cursed to be a slave to the very people that hate him.
Is it your flesh that you are trapped in or the walls of this village?
He closed his eyes and spread his chakra wide enough to feel the whole village. His breath left his body as he suddenly felt many chakra signatures disappearing. The feeling of being suddenly disconnected from so many people left him breathless. Were people dying? He wondered what would happen if he checked it out. He wanted to be free from his cage, to be free from the shackles of the village.
He found himself racing to put his shoes on and sliding on his pouch of small kunai. He crept out of his home and felt himself racing towards the direction he felt the disappearing chakra. It wasn't long until he hit a compound stained in blood. He looked at the dead bodies and how their eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. The blood pooled at his feet but he walked on anyway. He felt nothing as he walked closer and closer to the cause of the disappearances. He started to feel hollow.
Walking to your own death why not choose freedom?
He paused in thought, causing him to slip into a pool of blood. As he felt the blood drip from his clothes he wondered if freedom was possible. If only he could just......
Run.
Naruto felt his legs move before he understood what was happening. He took off into the trees and ran the fastest he had ever in his life. He felt stronger than he had ever in his life as the trees started to become blurred around him. He ran until he was exhausted. Until the sun started to rise into the sky and the birds chirped as they rose from their nests. As he lay in a breathless sweaty heap on the floor, as the sun turned his hair gold and his eyes reflected the clouds in the sky, he once again smiled.
Naruto walked for days until he found another village to pass through. He didn't know why he went into the village with no money but he knew once he saw the people. They didn't know him, they didn't hate him. Of course it was only his village that hated him. He decided it wasn't going to be his village anymore. They hated him and he left. He liked a world where people treated him like every other person. It was proving hard for him to stop himself from flinching when others got too close. He left the village after an hour but not before stealing a map of the land.
He decided that he liked traveling. He tried not to stay in one place too long in case someone found out who he was. His old village hated him too much for him to be nobody. He watched the way normal people acted. He interacted with them. He knew how it was to be treated like everyone else now. The thought that his old village would find him and bring him back to be caged had him a bit on edge. He couldn't trust anyone.
He learned that the easiest way to travel was to follow the chakra of others. It prevented him from getting lost since he could feel chakra from more than 15 miles in each direction. He carefully snuck onto a wagon heading for the nearest village. He knew the village hidden by rain had to be a ninja village but he couldn't remember his lessons from the academy.
He wasn't sure how he felt about the rain village. It was dark, gloomy and all metal. The rain also never stopped. He couldn't help but be slightly grateful that he stole an umbrella from the wagon he hitched a ride in. As he peered in all the shops around him, he tried to stay calm as he felt someone with an impressive amount of chakra lingering nearby.
They don't know you, he tried to tell himself. They don't hate you.
He flinched as he stumbled into someone. He looked up into sharp amber eyes and felt himself suddenly nervous.
"I'm sorry," Naruto bowed and clutched his umbrella. He tried to stumble away but he was stopped by a pale hand that clutched his wrist.
"What is your name child?" the blue haired woman asked with a cold tone, "I have not seen you before."
He knew he shouldn't tell her his real name but something about her made him weary to lie.
"Uzumaki Naruto."
From there he met a frail man with blood red hair.