Helping hand
.-.-.
For once, Midoriya had nothing to say.
He’d been stunned into silence when he heard the news. No wonder Bakugou hadn’t been answering his calls the previous evening! And that was probably why he wasn’t in class the following day.
“You look worried. Where’s Baku?” Kirishima leaned back in his chair and rested his head atop Midoriya’s notebook, thus snapping him out of his trance. He cocked an eyebrow. “Is he sick? Did you two argue?”
The freckled boy extended a hand and pet the top of Kirishima’s head. “He didn’t tell me, per se, but it’s a family issue.”
The other scrunched up his nose. “And he didn’t tell you? What kinda family problem is it?”
“Monoma tried to…” Midoriya hesitated, then drew his thumb over his throat. Kirishima’s eyes widened. After a moment, he sat up and turned in his chair.
Another motion was made, this time by Kirishima. He pretended to tie a noose around his neck, to which Midoriya shook his head.
Popping pills in his mouth? No.
Jumping? No.
Midoriya gave up on letting Kirishima guess, then moved his finger across his forearm in a cutting motion before gesturing to his neck.
“Oh.” he nodded in understanding. “He’s not.. dead.. is he?”
“No. It was just a lot of blood loss.” He slumped over, resting his chin in his hands. Kirishima rubbed his arm gently, a motion that would’ve got Bakugou to beat him up. “Camie told me the other day. She’s at the hospital right now, I think.”
When the class ended, the two of them made their way out into the hall. Their intentions were clear - under absolutely no circumstances were they going to class. As they walked, the two sent out text after text to their countless contacts, gathering more info about the incident and sharing it with each other.
Three-quarters of the way to their intended destination, the track field, someone called them out from the other end of the hallway. “Kirishima and Midoriya! Hold it right there!”
The two froze, stuffing their phones down their pants. A strange but necessary tactic.
Tsuchikawa came marching down the hall, dressed in her suspiciously cat-themed uniform with her sparkly blue Security Officer Pixie-Bob badge pinned to her chest. “What’re you two doing out here? The bell rang ten minutes ago.”
“We were in the counselor’s office.” Kirishima said not-so convincingly. Something clicked in Midoriya’s mind at the word counselor, but he held his tongue for now.
“Oh, then you must have hall passes. Let me see ‘em.”
The two deflated immediately, and Tsuchikawa snorted. “I figured. C’mon, I’ll take you down to the office ‘n write you some passes.” She gestured to them with one cat-pawed glove, beginning to lead them down the hallway.
“I really wanted to go see Ochaco. She’s outside for phys ed right now, isn’t she?” Kirishima asked as they walked.
Tsuchikawa held the door open for them, perking up as she heard their hushed conversation. “What’d you need to see her for?”
“Her girlfriend’s brother slash my boyfriend’s cousin attempted suicide, so none of their family members are here today. We wanted to ask Ochaco how things were going.” Midoriya explained, speaking too quickly for the blonde woman to keep up.
“Oh, I heard about that.” from the front desk came another voice. Shiretoko stood up from her chair, waving two red slips of paper. Pinned to her uniform was her badge, the words reading Security Officer Ragdoll. She gave one slip to each boy as she continued talking. “Neito Monoma, right?”
“Oh, that kid who played Jacqueline during the play last night?” Tsuchikawa snapped her fingers, eyes lighting up in recognition.
“That’s the one. Good kid. He did look a little off during his performance, though.” Shiretoko tapped her fingers on her belt, then rubbed her forehead. “You wanted to see Uraraka Ochaco, correct?”
“That’s right.” Kirishima piped up.
“I’ll walk you down. Ryuno, can you keep an eye on things up here? I won’t be long.” Tsuchikawa saluted at Shiretoko’s request, plopping down into the chair at the desk.
.-.-.
“Move, maggots, move!” Sakamata roared as he chased the students around and around, all across the track field. “Use your damn evasive maneuvers! Use ‘em!”
“Kugoooo~!” Shiretoko called out as she jogged onto the grass, Midoriya and Kirishima in tow. The older man glanced over but didn’t stop chasing the poor students, snapping his teeth at them. She spoke again. “Can you stop your carnage for a sec? I need to pull a student.”
“Violence never sleeps!” He shouted, literally scaring some boy out of his pants.
“Riiight.” She cleared her throat and called out surprisingly loudly. “Uraraka Ochaco! Can you come here for a moment?”
The brunette in question, without missing a step, jogged over to them while barely avoiding getting caught on Sakamata’s teeth. When she saw the boys, she frowned. “What’d you two do this time?”
“Nothing!” Kirishima exclaimed, sounding offended. “When have we ever done something that got you pulled out of class by security?”
“Last year? Kaminari? Weight room?” Ochaco replied without hesitation. Shiretoko snorted softly, for that was an incident she remembered well.
“Urk- Well, no, we’re not in trouble this time. Miss Ragdoll let us come talk to you.” Midoriya interjected. “How’s Toga doing? Do you know?”
Her gaze darkened. “Oh, that. She’s.. not great, to be honest. Thoroughly shaken.”
“What do you know about it?”
“Well, you saw how quickly Monoma left the play last night. Toga got driven home by Kendo, and some others were there, and Kendo went to talk with Monoma while everyone else was downstairs. He was in the bathtub. Slit his throat, trying to bleed out.”
Midoriya’s previous idea came back to him, and he made a series of sputtering sounds while he pulled his phone out from his pants and started hunting through his contacts.
“Gah!” He exclaimed when he’d found what he was looking for. “Okay, okay, so it sounds to me like Monoma needs serious therapy. And we all know how he is - I doubt he’d talk anything out with an adult that’s just getting paid to listen. Right?”
“...right. Where are you going with this, Izuku?” Ochaco sounded skeptical.
“I’ve got this friend, okay? His dad’s a psychologist and a therapist, so he’s been studying all that stuff since he was really little. I can ask him to consider giving Monoma therapy, or helping his work through his problems.” Midoriya held his hands out in front of himself like a superhero stopping a train, except he was trying to stop his idea being rejected.
“No payment required, could probably be done at any time of day, plus him and his dad are pros.” Shiretoko mused, tapping her chin a few times. When the three students looked at her, she scratched the back of her head. “Uh… I ‘unno. I think it could work.”
“It doesn’t sound that bad.” Kirishima said in agreement.
“Hmm.. hey, Coach!” Ochaco turned away, calling out across the field. “Can I use my phone for a few minutes?”
“No!” came Sakamata’s booming voice.
Shiretoko rolled her eyes and waved a hand. “Go ahead and use it.”
.-.-.
“Here’s your bedroom.” Bakugou pushed the door open and guided Camie inside, lightly shutting the door before setting her suitcases down. “Need help getting settled?”
“Nah, fam. Mama Cam has totes got it from here, don’t even worry about it.”
Bakugou raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it, speaking once more before walking out. “‘Kay. Call me if you need anything.”
It had been two and a half weeks since Monoma had been hospitalized. He was conscious now, at least, but he wasn’t discharged just yet. His parents hadn’t seemed to care much which they found out - total bummer - and her own mother wasn’t letting her visit regularly. So she’d done the next best thing, deciding to stay with her little cousin Bakugou.
Once she’d finished unpacking, she flopped unceremoniously onto the bed and called her bestest friend in the whole wide world, ever.
“Hey!” Mina’s voice came through the phone.
“Heyyy. I’m moving into Bakugou’s house for a while.” She purred, tapping her fingers.
“What? No way.”
“Yes way. I’m gonna be attending Yuuei for the time being, too, so we’ll get to see each other all the time.” Camie felt giddy for some inexplicable reason.
There was an abrupt rustling sound, like Mina had gone from lounging in bed to jumping up in surprise. “No way! For reals?”
“Uh-huh, for realsies. So I’ll see you Monday, right? What’s your class schedule?”
“Uh… lemme check. One sec.” Keyboard keys clicked in the background as Mina hunted for her class schedule. In the meantime, Camie rolled onto her back and relished the fact that she and the other would get to be in the same building. Sit in the same classes. Eat lunch together. She sighed wistfully.
“Physics, World History, Phys Ed and Art.” Mina piped up, startling Camie out of her daydreaming. “In that order. What’s yours?”
The blonde coughed and rolled over again, stretching her arm to grab the piece of paper her schedule was on. “Mm… Physics, Ceramics, World History and Math.”
“Damn, we only share one class? I mean, at least we can partner up for stuff. Which lunch bell do you have?”
“Ehh.. fourth.”
“Same! God, this is gonna be awesome. Can’t wait to see you on Monday!”
Mina hung up after that. Dazed, Camie rolled onto her back as a blush set in on her cheeks. She tapped her fingers on her phone case, feeling the rhinestones scraping under her nails. “Uh-huh.” She hummed. “Monday…”
.-.-.
“Monoma…” Shiretoko mused in the soft voice she used when she was thinking. She was standing in her bedroom at Pussycat Manor, the shared household of Yuuei’s security system.
“Whazzat?” Tsuchikawa mumbled as she walked past, looking dazed from her afternoon nap.
“I was thinking about Neito Monoma again.” She clarified, beckoning for the other to step into the room. “Midoriya Izuku had a pretty good idea on how to keep him from doing it again. His friend’s dad is a therapist, and the boy himself has been studying psychology his entire life.”
“Ah. Gotcha.” The blonde adjusted her belt before collapsing into Shiretoko’s bed. “You considering letting them do that?”
“Yeah. I mean, it doesn’t sound all that bad, right?”
“Mhm. Knowing him, he won’t wanna actually get help. He’d prefer to talk it out with someone his age.” Tsuchikawa watched with affection in her eyes as Shiretoko tied up her hair. “So if you think it’s good, then I do too.”
“Don’t start doing that blind agreement thing again.” She rolled her eyes, glancing at the other over her shoulder. When she saw mischief in those blue eyes, she frowned. “Ryuno.”
“I didn’t say anything. This time.”
An hour later, they were making their way into Yuuei High School.
The Pussycats took pride in the way they presented themselves. Everyone’s outfit was unique to them, yet matched with the others. They all wore cat paw hair clips and a big fuzzy one on their belt buckles. Everyone’s neckwear was different - Shiretoko wore ribbons and Tsuchikawa wore neckties, while Chatora and Shino wore bowties and bolo ties respectfully.
“Let’s see, info for todayyy…” Shiretoko murmured as she checked her phone. “Bakugou Katsuki’s cousin, Utsushimi Camie, will be attending Yuuei until further notice.”
“Oh, really?” Shino tilted her head to peek at the other’s screen. “I met her at a basketball game. Nice girl, but a little airheaded.”
“Neito Monoma is due back to school sometime today. He was discharged from the hospital Sunday evening.” She continued. “The rest of his family members will be returning this morning as well.”
“Already?” Tsuchikawa also leaned over to look, leaning more on Shiretoko’s shoulder.
“And, of course, the Shiketsu v. Yuuei basketball game tonight.” She finished with a flourish, waving her hand and bowing. The other cats applauded.
Chatora and Shino bristled suddenly. “Damn it! We told Sakamata we’d be in his office by eight!” He exclaimed.
“And it’s eight-thirty, goddamn it! Run!” Shino shoved him to the left and started running that way, only to get dragged back.
“His office is this way! This way!” Chatora was heard shouting as they took off across the campus. Tsuchikawa and Shiretoko watched them go in a daze.
After a moment, the taller one cleared her throat. “Ahem. We should, uh.. Get going. Patrol those hallways.”
For some reason, the air between the two of them was incredibly awkward. Shiretoko couldn’t put her finger - or rather, her claw - on why. Tsuchikawa split off the moment they entered the building, scampering off down the hallway. She raised a brow but didn’t try to call after her, opting to have a seat at the front desk.
Halfway through the morning, while she was putting in all the absences and tardies for the morning, a small group of people came up to the front desk. She addressed them without looking up. “How can I help you?”
“Late drop-offs.” Shiretoko looked up now. Standing before her was none other than Mitsuki Bakugou. Behind her were Camie, Toga, and Bakugou.
And standing beside her was Monoma.
.-.-.
Midoriya leaned on Bakugou’s shoulder as they walked down the hallway, chatting away amicably.
“I’m glad to hear that Monoma’s alright. And of course I’m happy you’re back.”
“Glad to be back, but-” He grunted when his boyfriend shoved him down another hallway, then latched onto his arm to keep him from walking away. “Where are you taking me? We’ve been walking for twenty minutes.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.”
“Babe, we’ve gone down the same hallway four times.”
“That’s just me killing time. Here.” Midoriya suddenly pulled the blonde to a halt in front of one door. The plaque on the door said Mr. Yamada.
Bakugou grimaced. “That nutcase? What do we need him for?”
Midoriya knocked without saying anything in response. “Mister Yamadaaaa. Are you hereeee?” Music was heard faintly, so he shrugged and nudged the door open.
Yamada’s office was vibrant and filled to the brim with trinkets, records, autographed posters and the like. The man himself was sitting in his chair, legs propped up on the desk as he hummed along to whatever was playing in his headphones while he went over some paperwork. It was interesting, seeing him with his hair fully down. Mostly just a rare sight to come by.
Irritation set in on Bakugou’s face the moment they walked in, but Midoriya didn’t seem to mind the color. Instead, he reached out and grabbed the shoulder of the boy sitting in one of the other chairs.
He had purple hair pushed back by a headband, and bags beneath his dark eyes. He regarded Midoriya with disinterest.
“Time to cash in that favor.” Midoriya cooed at him.
“What the fuck.”
.-.-.
Bakugou and Midoriya stood shoulder to shoulder, peeking through the window. Midoriya tapped his fingers anxiously.
They were standing outside a classroom door, staring through the window at Shinsou and Monoma.
Inside the room were several chairs and tables, and some writing on the chalkboard. Aizawa’s history class, although they were out on their lunch break, and the two were allowed into the room for their impromptu therapy session.
“So,” Shinsou started casually. “What appears to be the issue?”
“Did Bakugou put you up to this?” Monoma countered. The shirt he was wearing covered his entire neck and most of his arms, and he tapped his fingers on his leg. “Or Toga?”
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” His tone was professional, and it irritated Monoma to no end.
“It’s very relevant. Who’s making you do this?” He snapped back, sitting up more.
“No one is making me do anything. I volunteered.” That was a lie, of course, because Shinsou owed Midoriya a favor and this happened to be the other’s repayment of choice. A good chance to practice his skills, though, which was probably why he jumped at the opportunity.
So he was volunteering on a technicality.
“Yeah, right. Did Toga tell you to do this?” He pressed on, standing up. “Or Bakugou?” Outside the door, the blonde in question winced.
“You need to calm down.” Shinsou says, keeping a calm tone. “Sit.”
“No! Fuck you.” And the blonde storms out of the room, seething.
Bakugou and Midoriya jumped away from the door as it swung open. The first grabs at him, arms around his waist to hold him back as he tries to run off down the hall. He shouts in a rage, kicking his legs wildly. Midoriya hurried over to restrain him as well, grabbing his ankles. Monoma screamed again as he was carried back into the room.
“Fuck! Let me go! Let go!” Bakugou kicked the door shut and set his manic little cousin back in the chair. “You assholes! Let go, I wanna leave!”
“I’m sorry, Monoma. This is for your own good. Just talk to Shinsou, okay?” Midoriya said gently. His voice was always endlessly soothing, and it could calm everyone, even Monoma.
“Shut up.” Monoma says, pouting.
“Now, just talk to him, okay?” He encouraged, gesturing to an unmoving Shinsou.
“Fine.” He spits.
“Right.. Let’s try this again. What’s the issue?” Shinsou started again, tapping his fingers.
“I attempted suicide a few weeks ago.” He replied bluntly, crossing his arms. “I slit my throat. Happy now?”
“Neito.” Bakugou snapped. “We get that you’re upset, but don’t take it out on Shinsou. He didn’t do anything to you.”
“Fuck you, Katsuki.” He glares at the other blonde. His eyes carve daggers into his skin.
The impromptu therapy session went as you’d expect. Monoma didn’t open up about anything that’s going through his head at all. If anything, instead of making him feel better, it just made him want to kill himself more.
People talked a lot. Word spread quickly around the school that one of the star actors attempted to end his life, and it was news. Who would've guessed? Monoma was always in a good mood. Talking with people, living his life as a normal teen.
So what changed? When exactly did Monoma start declining? Does he himself know?
When did his hunger for attention and validation turn him scared when people looked at him for too long?
When did living become so black and white?
Why is he so broken.?
Monoma doesn't know why he survived. He doesn’t know where he went wrong. Maybe he should’ve cut deeper. Maybe slit a vein, or artery. Overdose on Toga’s antidepressants. Maybe..
Just maybe..
He should try again.
A tap on his shoulder breaks him out of his thoughts. “Neito, are you okay? Honestly?” Toga asks, unsure and hesitant. Scared, maybe, scared she’ll say something and he’ll go off.
When did he make her scared of him?
“I’m fine, Himiko. Just go to class.” Monoma responded softly, he doesn’t think he has rehearsal today, so he can just go home..
“You’re not okay, and you know it. If you were okay, you wouldn’t have—“ She cuts herself off with a soft choke. Taking a deep breath, shaky and drawn out, she repeats in a calmer tone. “if you were, you wouldn’t have hurt yourself. You wouldn’t have even started.”
Monoma tenses up, “Are you implying I cut myself, Himiko?”
Toga sighs, looking up at him. “We saw, Neito. When you were in the hospital, we saw the scars, the slits.. the fresh and the old. You don’t have to lie anymore, we’ll listen if you just talk.”
“I don’t need you to listen.” Monoma glares, walking away quickly from the other blonde.
What am I saying? I want— no, I need someone to listen to me. To talk to me. Please, I need you.
.-.-.
Monoma sits in bed, on his phone, scrolling endlessly through Instagram. It’s Saturday, he should be making up for missed work, but he’s not.
He’s not, because the thoughts in his head are a little too loud, and he’s already stressed out.
Who gave a damn about work anymore, anyway? After what he’d been through?
A light knock on his door. “Neito?” He recognized the voice as Toga’s. He’d already told her to go away several times in the last hour, and now she was back again. The hell was her problem?
He didn’t bother to say anything this time, and she spoke again. “I brought someone to see you.” Monoma kept his mouth shut, but he did roll his eyes. Toga was quiet for another moment, then cleared her throat. “‘m coming in, okay?”
He glanced up, his disinterest dissipating when he saw who Toga had with her.
“Pardon my intrusion,” Shinsou murmured as he stepped inside. “Toga thought it’d be good if we tried the therapy again in a more comfortable-” his words died in his throat, however, when he saw that Monoma was rather indecent at the moment.
“-environment…” he finished quietly. Monoma suddenly became very self-conscious. Perhaps laying on his bed shirtless, phone in hand as he watched through his eyelashes, wasn’t the best way to greet a guest.
He had half a mind to remain somewhat stoic, however, and quietly sat up before tugging his discarded shirt over his head. He uttered a quick apology before setting his phone down.
“I’ll leave you guys to it!” Toga said, unaware of the awkward energy in the room, as she clasped her hands together. “Call me if you need anything.”
Shinsou stood awkwardly by the now-closed door. Monoma quirked an eyebrow before speaking. “Since you’re here, might as well sit down.” He beckoned blankly to a spot on the bed.
Shinsou sat down after a moment, brows furrowed.
“So.” Monoma murmured, drumming his fingers on his leg. Shinsou looked at him, eyes flicking to the blonde’s neck and away again. The scar on his neck was there, slightly pink and rather unseemly. Monoma wouldn’t be wearing low-collared shirts anytime soon, unless he learned to live with it. It was doubtful, though.
This therapy session went a little better, compared to the last one. Monoma was more willing to open up about everything that happened. Shinsou only had to ask for Toga’s help once. Or twice.
It was also a good way for Shinsou to learn about Monoma’s boundaries. He’d push, bit by bit, until the blonde showed signs of going past his breaking point. He now knew what made the other tick, what made him smile, things like that.
Monoma was leading him to the front door, and he paused with one hand on the doorknob.
Slowly, he turned to look at Shinsou. “Um.. I wanted to thank you. For coming over and- ahem, not giving up on me immediately.”
Shinsou’s surprise melted into a gentle smile. “Of course.”
Monoma appeared too nervous to make eye contact, so he moved to open the door instead. “Um.. bye.”
He started out the door, then stopped again. “Hey, Monoma. I’m not sure if you’ll want to hear this, but…”
When they made eye contact, Shinsou hesitantly spoke again. “Your scar.. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. It’s like a way of showing how far you’ve come, you know? Embrace it.”
The blonde fell into a stunned silence as the door gently clicked shut.