Don't touch me, darling (you don't know where I've been)

Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Naruto
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Don't touch me, darling (you don't know where I've been)
All Chapters Forward

Hiding in the shadows

“What are we doing?”

“We need to speak with Kagha.”

“What for?”

“You’ll see in a bit.”

“But why do we all need to be here?”

“Just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“Oh, you’ll know it if it happens.”

Hidan scowls, not trusting the way this is heading.

Itachi keeps one hand on a weapon, already sensing where this is heading, while Kisame copies the gesture.

“Whatever it is you’re planning,” Gale says, leaning forward and speaking quietly, “do you mind sharing with the class before we do something stupid?”

“Best case scenario, we can buy some more time for those unfortunate tieflings before they’re forced out onto the road. Worst case-”

Orochimaru shrugs.

“We have to clean up a lot of dead druids. Either or.”

“Can we try to avoid raising our body count unnecessarily??” Shadowheart begs. “It’s going to become bothersome if we cross the wrong person.”

“What? Is your goddess scared of a lil blood?” Hidan taunts. “I say fuck ‘em all! They’re lucky we haven’t just slit all their throats and gotten it over with.”

Shadowheart rolls her eyes, and they all fall silent as they approach the red-headed woman, head bowed, muttering prayers under her breath.

“Do you think I could have a word?” Orochimaru asks, earning him a dirty look as she whips around to face him.

“Have you spoken to Zevlor, then?” she demands, folding her arms in an irritated gesture.

Orochimaru ignores this, stepping forward and deciding that mincing words won’t get them anywhere.

“So,” he says, in a perfectly pleasant tone, “when this rite of yours is finished, what happens then?”

Kagha frowns, wondering where he’s going with this. 

“The grove will be safe from any outside threat. Protected by a shield of bramble and thorn. We won’t have to fear the invaders anymore,” she answers.

“Outside threat, eh? How about the internal ones, then?”

“...what?” 

Orochimaru starts to walk in a circle around her, while she watches him warily all the while.

“In my experience,” he says, “one has more to fear from those close to them than they do from any misanthropic outsider.”

He beckons Astarion closer, and he obeys, already reaching into his pocket.

“What are you getting at?”

“Nothing much. I just have a question- what exactly is a shadow druid?”

Kagha goes incredibly pale, and she physically recoils away from him.

“What are you talking about?”

Rath steps closer, his wolf companion following close behind his heels.

“Kagha, what is the meaning of this?”

With a great flourish, Astarion whips out the folded-up letter. He hands it to Orochimaru, who passes it to Rath with a carefully neutral expression.

“I think this will explain everything you need to know.”

Rath accepts the note, unfolding it with trembling hands. The worry line in his brow deepens more and more as his dark eyes scan the page.

“Kagha,” he breathes, horrified, “what have you done?!” 

“Well, your dear First Druid has been very naughty,” Astarion explains, like he’s lecturing a child. “Cutting deals with shadow druids behind your back and not even telling anyone afterward.”

“Kagha, how could you?!”

“Halsin abandoned us!” Kagha shouts, desperation staining her voice. “Someone had to protect this grove! Our future! What else could I have done?!” 

As soon as the words have left her mouth, the rats scurrying about go still. They glare for a moment, before a gold light envelops them.

In an instant, each rat is replaced with a person, clad in dark clothes, faces painted in dark colors. 

They must be those shadow druids Kagha had been cavorting with. At least, they look the part.

Kagha looks afraid; more than that, she looks terrified. 

“Mistress Olodan,” she pleads, “I can explain-”

“Shh,” the oldest of the group hushes, pressing a finger to her lips. “It can’t be helped.”

She gives Orochimaru a contemptuous glare.

“You know they say curiosity killed the cat,” she scolds him, like a parent with an unruly child. 

“And thinking it was more clever than it really is, got the rat eaten.” Orochimaru replies, without blinking. 

This does not make Olodan happy- she steps toward him, drawing herself up to her full (albeit meager) height and glares at him. 

“You could have just left well enough alone. Now you’re going to have to die here.”

“Oh, I have no intention of dying anytime soon. I promise you that.”

“Kagha!” Rath shouts,  desperate to get through to her. “You can’t be serious-”

“I can, Rath! I can’t keep gambling the safety of this grove and all of our work for some outsiders!”

“This is ridiculous,” Itachi snaps, whatever patience he might have had totally gone. “What are you hoping this will achieve, anyway? You cut this place off from the rest of the world, and then what? You sit and rot here, accomplishing nothing, until you’re all dead and rotten and nobody around will even realize you were gone? That isn’t any sort of life, and it’s not natural.”

He must be truly angry, to go so far as raising his voice.

Angry, or simply that annoyed at the absurdity of this situation.

“And what happens to the refugees? You let them die on the road, and for what? Is that nature’s will? Letting innocents die because you want to hide away like a coward?! What’s the point?!”

Kagha freezes up; they can see the gears turning behind her green eyes, as sadness and horror dawns upon her.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re listening to this boy, Kagha,” Olodan sighs, rolling her eyes.

“...Silvanus commands us to banish the shadows,” she says. “Not hide within them. I can’t-”

Olodan looks disappointed, but not entirely surprised.

“Then you will all perish here, now."

A gold light wraps itself around her as she drops to the ground, surrounding her as she contorts and reforms into the shape of an enormous badger with wickedly sharp  claws. Another takes the form of a bear, and apparently makes it her mission to grab Itachi and tear him limb from limb.

Of course, Itachi is not one to go down easily; he ducks out of the way, fumbling for the knife at his waist so he can defend himself. 

They won’t get out of a fight, it seems.

That’s alright. They’ve had fights before. 

Everything becomes a blur of shouting and frenetic movements that it’s hard to keep track of. 

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up when electricity crackles around Gale’s hands. Gale shoves them square into the chest of one of the shadow druids, sending her into a fit of convulsions and filling the air with the smell of burnt flesh.

Hidan grabs one of them and throws them an impressive distance, the crack of their spine breaking punctuating the motion. 

“Good toss, soldier!” Karlach says with a grin, holding off another one with the handle of her axe.

In that split second Hidan is distracted, however, Olodan lunges at him, catching him in the moment he is off-guard.

The badger’s claws dig into his chest, tearing him clean open as it tackles him to the dirt. They latch onto his neck, intent on choking the life out of him to finish the job.

“Soldier!!” 

Karlach’s voice cracks desperately as she runs toward him, elbowing another druid in the stomach hard enough to send them collapsing and vomiting, and handily decapitating another with the ax's blade.

Hidan’s mouth opens and closes like a landed fish, blood soaking into the muddy ground. Blinded by his own guts in his eyes, he gropes until he grabs the badger’s jaws, prying them open so they aren’t on his neck, then keeps prying them apart. Further and further, until the bone snaps. He rolls over and starts blindly punching the druid until her face is more pulp than recognizable features, even after her wildshape falls away, until he’s satisfied she is more than dead. Each blow lands with far more force than he should be able to manage with his extensive injuries.

With Kagha and Rath at their side to help them out, it’s not a hard battle to win- such is the case with superior numbers.

When the world stops spinning, they're  left ankle-deep in gore, looking around to take stock of the situation.

“How-”

Wiping the blood and viscera out of his eyes, Hidan blinks at Karlach with a puzzled expression.

“What?” he asks, voice rough, hoarse, and barely there. “What’re ya staring at?”

When she can’t formulate an answer, he looks down to see a few loops of his intestines hanging on the outside, which he regards with a curious expression.

“Ah, that. Sorry ‘bout that, they usually stay on the inside-”

He grabs his innards with his free hand and goes to stuff them back into his torn-open abdominal cavity, wincing a bit as he does.

Karlach stares in abject horror as the surviving druids pick themselves up and dust themselves off, swaying on the spot as she tries not to throw up.

Wyll helps Hidan to his feet, getting himself covered in viscera in the process. He handles it a bit better than Karlach, but he manages to not look too woozy as Hidan gets his bearings again.

“That’s that done, then,” Astarion says, putting his hands on his hips and surveying the disaster. “What a mess- someone ought to get a mop.”

Kagha bows her head in shame, unable to look any of them in the eye.

“Oakfather forgive me…what have I done?”

“You’ve caused a lot of trouble is what you’ve done,” Orochimaru says, bluntly. “You almost got a child killed with your zealotry, and nearly sold out this entire grove in the process. You should be asking for her forgiveness, not your god’s.”

Kagha looks like she is being forced to swallow hot ashes.

“...You’re right. What I’ve done is unforgivable-”

“-I never said that. Now stand up straight and look at me, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

She looks up, half-offended, half-surprised.

The remaining druids can’t seem to move- a few hold each other’s hands. Rath mutters frantic prayers under his breath.

“Fact is, you’re still the first druid, or whatever they call you. Until- unless- this Halsin is able to come back, that duty is still on your shoulders. So you need to get yourself together, because whether you deserve it, there are people here who are relying on you.”

A smattering of murmured agreement accompanies his words.

“More to the point,” Orochimaru continues, “what about the tieflings?”

“We will give them safe harbor until they depart,” Kagha says, this time with no hesitation. “But please- help us contend with the goblins. They will not stop, even after they leave, unless they are cut off at the source.”

“So you want us to do your dirty work for ya and off the fuckers?” Hidan asks, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at her with contempt. “That’s a tall order- we have tons of other shit to handle without wiping your ass up too. what’s in it for us if we do?”

“We don’t have a lot,” Kagha says, sounding alarmingly close to crying as the weight of her error presses down upon her. “But please, have mercy- not for me, for the others. If the grove falls-”

She buries her face in her hands, shaking her head in despair, unable to even finish the sentence,

The silence is painful.

Orochimaru looks at his companions, one at a time.

All of their faces wear  varying degrees of uncertainty, though Wyll and Itachi in particular seem inclined to want to help.

Those two should be enough to fully persuade the others.

He makes a show of scratching at the back of his head and sighing heavily. 

If this Halsin person truly can help them, he would probably be less inclined if they allowed the grove to go to ruin. If it's simply a matter of survival, this seems the best idea.

“I suppose we would be heading that way anyway, to try to get to the root of our own problem. We’ll see what we can do to bring your Halsin back, while you see what you’re going to do to compensate us for the trouble you caused.”

Orochimaru rubs his temples to stave off a wicked headache brewing. He turns away, too annoyed to look at the woman any longer.

“I didn’t sign up for any of this shit.”  Hidan complains. “You mean we still gotta help these assholes after all that?”

“None of us signed up for any of this,” Orochimaru answers, in a low, warning hiss. “We will do what we need to do to stay alive, even though we don't like it.”

Whipping his dark hair out of his face, he gives Kagha a withering glare. 

“Forgive me-”

“-Forgiveness isn't for me to hand out. Ask your fellow druids. And the little girl you terrified.”

He isn’t sure where this lecture is coming from- perhaps his old sensei rubbed off on him more than he thought. 

Kagha sinks to the ground with a defeated sigh, hiding her face in her hands.

Looking around nervously, Itachi approaches Kagha as the others start to head back outside to get sun and fresh air.

He waits patiently for her to notice him, once she’s started coming around from her own misery.

“...Go ahead. Say it,” she mutters. “Say I’m a monster.”

“I don’t think that.”

Itachi offers her a hand up, so she isn’t kneeling in the mud any longer. She takes it reluctantly.

When she looks confused, he figures he probably needs to elaborate.

“You did what you thought would protect what you cared about. I don’t think that makes you a monster.”

He sighs, wishing he was better at this sort of thing because she’s looking at him with such a sad expression. 

“We all can do desperate things when we want to protect something we care about. I understand.”

“...How could you understand?” Kagha asks, softly, like she doesn’t dare to believe it. 

“Because I’ve been there.” is all Itachi says in response.

Her confusion deepens the worry lines in her brow.

“...are you some kind of paladin?”

Itachi blinks in confusion, and is about to ask what a paladin is before they are interrupted.

“Oi, we don’t have all day, Itachi! Let’s get outta here!”

“We’ll  bring Halsin back,” he says, as he heeds his companion’s call. “Don’t worry. Just hold things together until then.”

 

He hurries to catch back up with the others, squinting as the full force of the sun hits them in the face.

“Man, fuck all of that shit,” Hidan grumbles. “I still think we shoulda killed ‘em all.”

“Oh of course you would think that,” Shadowheart snaps back, rolling her eyes.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“If you aren’t clever enough to figure it out, there’s no point in me explaining it.”

Hidan grumbles under his breath, giving the woman dirty looks all the while.

Itachi fidgets uncomfortably as they make their way out. 

“Something bothering you?”

“Hm? No, I'm fine, actually.”

“Well, something’s on your mind.”

“Hm.”

Itachi moves his coat aside the tiniest bit, revealing the polished oak head of a statue. Gale stares at it, slack-jawed.

Orochimaru suppresses his laughter- never in a million years did he think that Itachi's attempt at comforting words was a cover-up for a theft.

“Oh you didn't-”

“I figured it's the least they can give us for our troubles,” Itachi replies, with a dismissive shrug. “Besides, we told Mol we would, didn't we?”

“I wonder how long it will take for them to notice.”

“If they do, we'll just say one of the shadow druids stole it. They should believe that.”

“That's pretty devious, Itachi,” Kisame laughs, with a toothy grin. “I didn't think you had it in you.”

Itachi gives a not-quite smile; once they're outside of the cramped stone room, he pulls the statue out a little more to examine it, after glancing around to make sure no druids are around to see.

“It almost feels alive,” he remarks, running his fingers along it curiously. 

“Guess that’s why they were so keen on protecting it.”

“Let’s not keep Mol waiting, then,” Orochimaru says, with a cheeky smile. “Let’s show her what we managed to get.”

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