Don't touch me, darling (you don't know where I've been)

Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Naruto
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Don't touch me, darling (you don't know where I've been)
All Chapters Forward

secret keeper

“So it’s settled- whatever happens, we’ll meet back up here at sundown. If something happens, try to send a message somehow.”

“Just try not to get eaten by a gnoll or something. We have no shortage of danger ahead of us.”

Setting off in arbitrary groups, everyone starts off in different directions.

Kisame squints up at the brilliantly blue sky, reveling in the beautiful weather.

“At least it’s nice and warm while we try to get these bugs outta our skulls, eh?” he says.

He doesn’t get an answer, but Itachi carries himself a little bit lighter than usual, so he must be enjoying it too.

Lae’zel is harder to get a read on, since her default expression seems to be murderous. Then again, he hasn’t known her nearly as long, so maybe he’ll figure her quirks out in time.

(If they don’t start sprouting tentacles before then, anyway.)

Shadowheart- who had been striking out ahead of them until now- stops dead in her tracks, alert- anxious.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s people up ahead. They sound scared.”

They approach cautiously- just as she said, a trio of people is a short way off. One on the ground, writhing in agony, while the others fret and fuss trying in vain to help.

Sneaking up is a bad idea in a situation like this, so Kisame takes the lead and clears his throat to announce their presence.

The two who are still standing snap to attention, drawing weapons with shaking hands.

“Not another step-”

“Easy- what happened here? Maybe we can help?”

“I- well, we were-”

“-An owlbear got him deep,” the man says. “If there’s anything you can do to help, please-”

“I’m no medic, but I know a thing or two, just let me look.”

“I’ll be watching you.” the woman warns.

Kisame doesn’t acknowledge this. He kneels in front of the stout, bearded man sprawled across the ground.

Indeed, whatever had attacked him got him deep. The gashes across his chest go clear down to the bone, sternum and viscera visible beneath scraps of shredded clothing and muscle tissue.

The man looks up at him, face contorted with pain.

In the recesses of his mind, as he tries to speak, he feels a familiar tingle in his head.

Another parasite…?

The man’s thoughts mingle with his, and the parasite squirms agonizingly in his skull.

Help them. They’re my-

He manages to croak out a few words, with a great effort. And despite being in great pain, there’s a sort of knowing in his eyes, like he recognizes a kindred spirit.

“Protect him-”

He wheezes the words out through a mouthful of blood and bile.

“He is a True Soul- he will-”

The man gurgles and sputters for a bit, then goes limp.

“No-”

The woman lets out a heavy sigh of defeat.

“...He is with the Absolute now…”

“What happened here?” Kisame asks, approaching the bereaved duo cautiously. “How did you wind up on the wrong end of something that vicious?”

“We were sent to investigate something,” the woman says, mournfully. “Before the owlbear attacked us.”

“Investigate what, exactly?”

“The ship that crashed. There are fugitives who escaped with something that the Absolute needs. We were meant to help retrieve it.”

Anxiety floods through them- particularly Shadowheart, who takes a step backward.

Her tadpole pulls at the edges of their minds- whatever that strange artifact in her possession is, she’s certain that it’s what they are looking for.

And whatever it is, they cannot let them have it.

“This creature that killed your brother,” Kisame says, trying to get away from the subject. “Where did it go?”

“There’s a cave up ahead,” the brother says. “She probably escaped there.”

“You oughta go find it then. Your brother would have wanted that, wouldn’t he?”

The man shifts nervously from one foot to the other.

“...You’re right. Could you accompany us, True Soul?”

Kisame frowns, looking to Itachi for his opinion.

“...I don’t see the harm. You go ahead, we’ll catch back up in a moment.”

The siblings nod at him.

“As you say, True Soul.”

They head off without further ado, leaving them to stare at the dead man in the grass.

“The Absolute, huh? Wonder what the fuck that means.”

“Some kind of god,” Itachi says. “Or at least a leader of some kind.”

Staring down at the deceased man, all of them take a moment to be lost in thought.

Itachi frowns, looking over the corpse with confusion.

“...I don’t trust any god that wants anything to do with me,” he ultimately decides.

“Whatever it is, it seems like it’s got something to do with our hitchhikers.” Kisame remarks. “We should check it out.”

Lae’zel lets out a grunt of assent, cementing their decision.

Itachi turns his head toward Gale, hoping he doesn’t sound too stupid with his question- though in his heart of hearts he knows he’s going to sound like an absolute buffoon either way.

“-What is an owlbear?”

Gale raises an eyebrow.

“I forget you aren’t from around here. Well, my friend- an owlbear is more or less what the name implies. Quite ferocious creatures as well. I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing one up close, and honestly I was hoping to keep it that way, but I suppose we can’t always get what we want in life, eh?”

“We’ve got our fair share of vicious beasts where we’re from,” Kisame chimes in. “I’m sure it won’t be that big of a problem.”

“I don’t see why we are wasting our time with this nonsense.” Lae’zel snaps. “We have more urgent matters to attend to.”

“If this Absolute nonsense is related to our little worm friends, I think it best to explore it,” Gale offers. “There may be something deeper at play here, and if I may say so, I don’t like the sound of it.”

“He’s right,” Shadowheart chimes in. “Something is strange about all this. Well. More strange, at any rate.”

Itachi nods in agreement, still drawn to the corpse for a reason that he can’t explain.

It’s as if a soft voice is calling him from within it, crying out to be released.

Take it.

Biting back a yelp, Itachi’s eyes dart around, trying to find the source of that sound, before realizing that it, too, is in his own head.

It can help you, the voice says- startlingly similar to the one in his dreams. Take it. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he looks at Kisame to see if he heard it too.

If he has, he doesn’t give any indication. But Itachi kneels down anyway, holding a hand out toward the corpse and urging the presence inside its skull to come out.

Before Kisame or Lae’zel can ask him what the hell he’s doing, a squirming illithid tadpole crawls its way out of the dead man’s eye, crawling onto his hand while making small, expectant chirping noises.

“Uh, what are you doing, exactly?”

“I don’t know.”

Fishing an empty glass bottle out of his bag, Itachi drops the writhing little creature into it and quickly puts the lid back on.

“You would do better to kill it,” Lae’zel snarls.

“Probably,” Itachi agrees. “But it may be useful for something.”

The tadpole thrashes against the confines of the glass, protesting as it’s stashed away in the dark of Itachi’s bag.

He doesn’t know what’s going on, nor why he had the compulsion to save the same type of parasite that’s put them in this predicament in the first place, but that voice feels so familiar somehow. Like an old friend muttering sweet words to him, and he feels that, somehow, this voice is definitely trying to help.

Maybe it’s just his own parasite getting the better of him. But somehow he can’t be sure about that, so as they start trailing after the other two, he puts it out of his mind.

“Ah-”

Snapping back to reality, Itachi turns toward the source of the small, pained sound.

Gale flinches, grabbing at his chest for just a moment when he thinks nobody is looking.

“Are you alright?” Itachi asks.

“Quite alright,” Gale lies, almost annoyed at being caught. “I’m just- not used to this much excitement, that’s all. I’ll be fit as a fiddle in a moment.”

Even as he says this, he can’t restrain a wince.

“Be honest with me.”

Itachi doesn’t mean for the words to come out so sternly, but it seems to loosen Gale’s tongue- even if he speaks with great reluctance.

“Well, since we are to be in each other’s company for the foreseeable future, it may be unavoidable. See-”

He looks over Itachi’s shoulder to make sure they aren’t being overheard.

“I have a uh- condition, as it were. Not related to our tadpoles, mind you- but no less dangerous. I have been keeping it under control, but since we were on that ship, I haven’t been able to keep on top of it. And I fear that’s becoming a problem.”

Itachi nods.

“What do you need?”

“It may seem strange, but please bear with me. I need to consume artifacts infused with the Weave-”

He catches Itachi’s confusion at the words, and changes course so he can elaborate.

“-See, the Weave is the source of magic in this realm. It can be concentrated in magical items to enchant them. To make a very long story short, consuming them has been vital to managing my condition for a long time now.”

“Hm.”

Itachi is quiet for far longer than Gale is comfortable with, his expression as inscrutable as ever.

“...I think I have something like that.”

“Oh? Do you now?”

Itachi slips the ring off his right hand and holds it up so the engraved gemstone catches the light.

“We call it chakra where I come from, I think. This isn't particularly special, but it allows my associates and I to talk to each other no matter where we are. Would it work?”

Gale perks up, like a puppy who's just been promised a treat.

“Hm? I’m not sure- may I?”

Itachi hands the ring over, trying not to think too hard about what might happen if he makes it home and is found without his ring.

Sure, their leader could probably just have another one made, but he would be unhappy about it at the very least. He treated these rings with the utmost importance, so they must have some sort of value he doesn't quite understand.

Of course, if they don’t make it back (which he doubts they will) it won’t matter either way.

“Ah- your hunch was an astute one! This will do perfectly, if I may?”

“Go ahead.”

Gale smiles, relief and gratitude mingling on his face.

“Thank you.”

He holds the ring up, and both his hand and the ring start glowing an eerie violet color. 

The ring evaporates in a cloud of smoke and shimmering mist,, and Gale sighs in something resembling satisfaction.

“I truly do appreciate this. I know it’s a lot to ask without a lot of explanation in return, and things are already confusing enough as they are.”

Itachi only shrugs in response.

“We all have our burdens. I’m glad this one can be lightened.”

Gale gives a small mock bow.

“My lord, I bow to your endless kindness.”

Kindness…

Itachi can’t help but wonder if that’s truly the right word- pragmatism may be a better way of putting it.

They need to all be at their best if they’re to face the threat looming over them. If that costs him a piece of jewelry he’s never been particularly attached to, that’s a fair price to pay regardless of any kindness or lack thereof. 

“It isn’t a problem.” he says, instead of voicing any of that.

They hurry to catch up with the others, with Gale looking far better than before.

Better that way- he needs to be at full power for them to survive this.

If Kisame notices that his ring is missing, he'll make some story up about having lost it back on the Nautiloid. No harm, no foul.

 


 

Hidan frowns, looking at the scattered field of corpses before them.

Humanoid, but certainly not human, covered in spotted fur, each of them donning a hyena’s head and ears.

“What the fuck are these things?”

“Gnolls,” Wyll answers. “Nasty creatures, you might want to breathe through your nose as we walk through.”

“Noted.” 

They pass through as quickly as they can, constantly glancing around looking for anybody hostile.

So far, nothing but corpses, both gnoll and otherwise.

“Whoever killed these things was one violent son of a bitch,” Hidan remarks.

“Eyes peeled. We might be getting close.”

After they follow the trail for another kilometer or so, they see a figure up ahead.

A woman, and an utterly massive one at that.

One horn, like the one in Wyll’s vision. Messy dark hair and eyes the golden brown color of warm honey. He imagines she must be even taller than she looks, considering she’s doubled over like she’s in agony, flames flickering around her as she gasps for air.

Wyll steps forward, eye narrowed, ready to strike her down, but Hidan doesn’t follow.

Something isn’t right.

This woman certainly doesn’t look like the vicious monster he’s been told about.

Sure, she’s absolutely enormous, one horn broken off, and probably strong enough to throw him into the stratosphere.

But she doesn’t seem dangerous. Not to them, anyway.

As a matter of fact, she’s doubled over like she’s in a lot of pain, clutching at her chest as flames sputter and flicker all around her.

Angry burn scars claw their way all across her flesh, like her skin had been melted and healed badly.

Wyll doesn’t seem to notice any of that. 

He charges up to her with determination on his face and malice in his eye, blade drawn before the poor woman can even realize he’s there.

“Advocatus diaboli,” he snarls, through clenched teeth.

Karlach looks upward, a mixture of fear and revulsion on her face.

“Shit, not you again-”

“Karlach-”

Wyll lunges toward the woman, while Hidan stands there feeling a bit stupid.

Something just doesn’t seem right here, but he can’t figure out what. It gnaws at the back of his mind, almost loud enough to be heard, but not quite.

“End of the road for you, devil!”

“Oi, back off for a second and let me-”

“Nothing you say means a damn thing to me, so shut your lying mouth!”

Hidan squints, eyes darting back and forth between the two of them, before he decides to chime in.

“Hey hang the fuck on for just a second- something smells rotten here.”

“You’re godsdamned right there’s something wrong here!” Karlach yells. “If you could just shut up and listen to me-”

“-Enough, devil!”

“Hey hey what the fuck-”

Hidan gets between the two of them before he even realizes what he’s doing.

(As much fun as he normally finds killing, this entire situation smells wrong to him, and he wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t step in.)

“Hold on a sec- something isn’t-”

All three of them recoil as their parasites reach out for each other in recognition.

Suddenly, the world is through Karlach’s eyes. Surrounded by fire and winged monstrosities that shriek and howl all around her.

Fear. 

Fear courses through her, looking around desperately for a way to escape as she swings her ax again and again, cutting through one servant after another as she tries desperately to flee.

“Shit-”

“See?!” Karlach begs, sounding more terrified than anything. “I’m not some kind of monster, I’m just-”

“Stop! I won’t be tricked!”

“It isn’t a trick, dammit! I didn’t want to fuck with Zariel any more than you did!”

“And yet you served!”

“I didn’t have a bloody choice! Can’t you just look in my eyes and see I’m not what you think I am?!”

She bellows the words out, maybe hoping she can drown out the panic inside her.

“I-”

So, she isn’t some horrible monster after all- and judging by that look of dawning horror on Wyll’s face, he knows it.

“Come on,” Hidan says. “We don’t need to be making enemies here if we don’t have to. I feel like she’s not trying to hurt anyone.”

“Well,” Karlach says, somewhat sheepishly, “not counting the fuckers that need a good hurting.”

“Shit. Shit!”

Wylll sounds absolutely agonized, his voice cracking an entire octave.

“You don’t know what you’re asking of me-”

“I’m asking you to live, Wyll! Honestly I’d rather not find out how the Blade of Frontiers got his name, and you don’t want to know how I got my reputation. So-”

She holds out a hand in friendship.

“Truce?”

Wyll stares at her hand for a painful amount of time.

He doesn’t reach out toward her hand, but he nods.

“Aye. Truce.”

Satisfied that there isn’t going to be a fight here, Hidan steps away from between the two of them.

“There. See, we can be friends. No fuckin’ sense fighting each other when we’re all in the same shit, yeah?”

He’s not used to being the peacemaker in this kind of situation, but it seems to have worked. Karlach visibly relaxes, and she smiles, baring just the tiniest hint of sharp teeth.

Wyll storms off to let off some steam a bit away from them.

“Hey, soldier-”

“Eh?”

Karlach grins at Hidan, relief heavy in her voice.

“Thanks for vouching for me. Not a lot of people would do that for someone they just met. I’d give you a hug if I wasn’t worried about scorching your skin off.”

“Yeah I was gonna ask- the fuck is up with the uh-”

Hidan makes a noncommittal gesture at her.

“-The fire?”

Karlach knocks on her sternum with a cheeky smile.

“Infernal engine for a heart, mate. Can’t you hear it?”

Leaning in, Hidan does, indeed hear it. A low rumbling, like a cat purring. 

He can hear it- and feel the overwhelming heat it gives off.

“...How exactly did that happen?”

“High pain tolerance and a shitty boss, let’s leave it at that.”

Hidan cocks his head, folds his arms, and, after some contemplation, decides that he quite likes this lady.

“Heh. Look at that, we’ve already got shit in common.”

“Yeah? Guess you’ll have to tell me sometime.”

So, yet another companion to add  to the menagerie. He supposes there are worse things in the world.

“Where are you from, soldier?”

“Eh? I ain’t any kinda soldier. But if you wanna know, I come from somewhere called Yugakure.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Course not. I never fuckin’ heard of Faerun or Tieflings or anything else either, so we’re all learning new shit today.”

“Good lad!  Make the best of things while we’re here, I say! Remind me to buy you a beer when I can, to thank you for saving my arse.”

“Lady, you’re speakin’ my language.”

He has a feeling he and this woman are going to get along just fine.

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