Chapter 41
“absolutely not”, Naruto says, blowing some smoke.
Across from him was Tobirama and Hashirama, the newly resurrected Hokages.
“what do you mean by no!”, Tobirama barks.
“I mean no”, Naruto adds, “I do not trust people with my shit and that’s final”.
“Tobi, calm down”, Hashirama says, putting a hand on his little brother’s shoulder, “Naruto…”.
“no”, Naruto says, cutting Hashirama off.
“but I didn’t said anything!”, Hashirama says with a whine while his mood drops.
“but you were thinking about it!”, Naruto says, narrowing his eyes.
“oh yeah?!”, Hashirama says with a huff, “I’m thinking on number between 1 and 10000…”.
“69”, Naruto answers, “now you are thing on the number 6969… and how you miss Madara”.
“Tobi, he’s reading my mind!!”, Hashirama says, covering his ears as his face goes into a deep shade of red.
“can we cut his conversation here?”, Naruto asks pinching the bridge of his nose, “I still have to show up at the Hokage office, probably to discuss this exactly same thing”.
“you could just avoid it by sharing your notes”, Tobirama says,
“for the last time, I’m not teaching necromancy to anyone!!”, Naruto says, angry, “for fuck sake, the level of trust and care needed for me to consider teaching anything I know to anyone in this god forsaken hellhole is so high that you would have a better chance at milking a rock!”.
“and yet you protect the same village you despise”, Tobirama points.
“no, I protect the few people who lives in this hellhole that I care about if they were to die, I would personally turn this place into a smoking crater”, Naruto points, “and do not judge my hate for this village before knowing what a cesspit of rot this village is!”.
“Tsuna did told me about your… strife”, Hashirama says, sounding apologetic and bowing so violently his head hits the coffee table, “I’m so, so sorry for that!!”.
“bah, relax, I’ve got back at them”, Naruto says, “also, I’m really surprised how well you are taking the fact your wife was married off to me”.
“well, I did died and Mito had been a widow for a long time and we had discussed this a lot back in the day. Also, if Mito was really against she would have made it very clear by now and…”, Hashirama says, playing with his fingers.
“and you are not really that interested in women and you had an agreement with Mito”, Naruto says, as Hashirama’s head starts smoking, “relax, she told me that and honestly, you do you, as long as all parts involved in what makes you happy are consenting adults, then go for it”.
“that’s… surprisingly nice of you, thanks”, Hashirama says with a bright smile.
“you’re welcome”, Naruto answers.
“still, the village could…”, Tobirama argues.
“go to hell for all I care”, Naruto says, causing the albino to develop a tick mark on his forehead, “and before you get your panties in a twist, take a good look at the village, do like a certain Hatake says and look underneath the underneath. I’ll be the first and foremost person to admit that I’m a petty asshole, selfish and an overall dick, but I’m far from the last the only difference is that I have the balls to admit it in the open”.
Naruto gets up and grabs his staff, walking away to go pass the rest of his free time.
He walks calmly to his bedroom where Tsunade was lying in bed.
“feeling better?”, he asks, approaching his wife.
“no, I’m still feeling like trash”, Tsunade says, her voice course, “so, what gruncle wanted?”.
“probably the same as the council will demand”, Naruto says, sitting next to Tsunade.
“whatever you do, DO NOT let your voodoo anywhere near gruncle”, Tsunade says, sinking deeper into the of mattress.
“you don’t have to tell me twice”, Naruto says, using a soft soothing spell on Tsunade to help her sleep, “here, take a nap, you’ll gonna need it”.
The tingling feeling behind his ears was back and that wasn’t good, in his optimistic foolishness he hoped that the invasion was what was causing the bad feeling that something bad was about to hit them, but if anything it only made it worse.
And the growing headache he was feeling now wasn’t of any help.
“team eleven, please step forward”, Minato says, in the Hokage office.
In any other circumstances, such occasion would have a small if just ceremonial celebration, a small something just to say did something, but now its post crisis time, so no time to waste with pointless ceremonies, no matter how small they are.
“Mito Uzumaki-Higurashi, although you did not fought in the finals, your actions during the rampage of the One-tails was invaluable on the subjugation of a threat that could have caused massive casualties”, Minato extends to her a chuunin vest, “thus by the decision of the council and the sealing corps, I thereby promote you to the rank of chuunin”.
“thank you Lord Hokage”, Mito takes the vest together with her chuunin registration with a regal bow.
“Sakura Haruno-Senju”, Minato turns his eyes to the pink haired kunoichi, “for your efforts during the invasion in both dealing with the enemy shinobi and the protection and evacuation of civilians, I thereby promote you to the hank of chuunin”.
“thank you lord Hokage”, Sakura says, taking the vest and the registration with a polite bow, but barely containing her excitement.
“Naruto Senju”, Minato says, using all of his professionalism to not let his anger at the fact Naruto had forsaken his clan’s name and taking up Tsunade’s raise up, “due to your invaluable effort during the invasion and bringing back our beloved past Hokages, I thereby promote you to the rank of special chuunin”.
“special what now?!”, the three asks in unison.
“special chuunin”, Minato supplies as Naruto takes the vest, “congratulations, you are the first of hopefully many and captain of the leaf’s Arcane Division”.
“ok, for once I know you didn’t came with the name”, Naruto says.
“and what makes you believe that?!”, Minato asks, a little annoyed.
“because your naming skills suck”, Naruto states with a deadpan, “if you had named this division it would something ridiculous ‘the leaf’s division of dark-evil bone-chilling necromancy’ or some shit like that”.
Minato flinches at that.
“judging by your reaction, I hit the nail in the head”, Naruto says, letting out a sigh.
“fine, Hiruzen came with the name”, Minato admits defeat, “seriously, naming skills aren’t that bad”.
“Minato, I know for a fact if you didn’t had used Jiraiya’s character name as my name, I would by called Minime the first”, Naruto says as his teammates try not howl in laughter and Minato’s eyes go wide.
“how did you know that?!?”, Minato asks, exasperated.
“that’s for me to know and you to guess”, Naruto says.
“anyway, back to the main topic”, Minato says clearing his throat, “both me and the council agreed that due to the… exoteric nature of your power, the ranking of chuunin was too low, however, since you lack experience in the field of action we could not promote you to jonin or special jonin, thus, especial”.
“does that mean I’ll have restriction on my range of operations?”, Naruto asks.
“quite the contrary, after you demonstration at the chuunin exams, your services are in high demand”, Minato says, pulling a large stack of scrolls.
“I’m not resurrecting the dead”, Naruto states.
“I know, I put in the position’s description that whatever spell you use is at your discretion”, Minato says, “anyway, that concludes the promotion ceremony, Mito and Sakura are free to go, Naruto I need you to accompany me to the meeting room to attend a council meeting”.
“why?”, Naruto asks, “special or not, a council meeting is no place for a chuunin, especially one that is not in a leadership position within a clan”.
“you’re right, however, the Daimyo had requested your presence in this meeting”, Minato explain getting up and walking away, “follow me”.
The meeting room was a mess, the shinobi clans where two straws away from snapping at the civilian side, the civilians were shouting unreasonable demands all the while the Daimyo sat quietly watching the chaos unfold while three ANBU restrained the suna genin and their sensei.
“for the love of…”, Naruto says, tapping his staff on the ground.
A invisible shockwave washes over the whole room, pushing everybody into their seats.
The civilians, who clearly lacked any higher brain function were about to burst into a storm of complain, but instead were turned to stone.
“this an official meeting in front of Daimyo”, Naruto says, as the rest of the attendees look in horror at the ugly statues that once were the civilian side of the council, “not a fish market, does your dimwitted assholes did not learned manners?!”.
“you must be Naruto”, the Daimyo speaks, “the head of the newly formed Arcane Division”.
“one and only your highness”, Naruto says with a polite bow, “I would apologize for their behaviors, but as it stands, I would rather abide by the ‘not my circus, not my monkeys’ rule”.
The Daimyo lets out a bark of laughter.
“I already like you”, the Daimyo says, looking at the menagerie of ugly statues in the civilian side, “now that the howling monkeys had at last been silenced and the Hokage had joined us, we might start his meeting”.
“shouldn’t you de-petrify them?”, Hiashsi asks, not that he was complaining.
“were they called here for this meeting or did they barged in uninvited?”, Naruto asks, pulling his smoking pipe.
“the later”, Inoichi answers, “although in fact there was a meeting scheduled with the civilian council to run damage assessment and civilian recovery post invasion”.
“so no, they remain petrified till the end of this meeting”, Naruto says, “we’ll get more done without them interjecting every ten seconds”, Naruto states, “then, I’ll de-petrify them when it’s time for their meeting. Also, pardon my rudeness, but why are the Uzushio Uzumaki doing here?”.
“this matter concerns them too”, the Daimyo explains while one of his aids brings a scroll with the Wind country Daimyo seal on it, “now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Wind Daimyo had officially washed his hands off Suna”.
“what?!”, the Suna guests exclaim in surprise.
“apparently the invasion and subsequent defeat cause the Daimyo to lose too much face, so much he decided to cut them loose”, Minato adds.
“weren’t they manipulated by Orochimaru?”, Chouza asks, confused, “like, didn’t he killed the Kazekage and used him as a disguise?”.
“that he did and we have proof of that”, Mikoto says, “Rasa’s body together with the bodies of his personal guard were found in the desert. The state of decomposition they were found shows they have been dead for at least two months”.
“sheesh”, Naruto says, picking a copy of the report and reading it.
“typical of that asshole!!”, the Suna girl, Temari exclaims, “first he denies aid while our people starve and now this!”.
“young lady, your anger is warranted, but please, rein in your emotions”, Minato says, with a serious tone.
The girl, Temari, goes quiet, but she was still seething.
“your highness, what is the meaning of this meeting?”, Inoichi asks.
“we are here to decide what will be the fate of Sunagakure”, the Daimyo answers.
There’s a confused moment of silence.
“that explain the debt collectors”, Naruto says, puffing a cloud of smoke, “they came to collect their dues”.
“precisely”, the Uzumaki representative says with a bow, “the wind daimyo has used Suna’s tailed beast as collateral for the loans he had taken with us”.
“we can’t let that happen, if anything else the one-tails is a spoil of war!”, Haiashi says with indignation.
“we have written proof that the one-tailed send raccoon rightfully belongs to us”, the Uzumaki representative states, presenting the scrolls to the Daimyo.
After verifying the legitimacy of the documents, the Fire Daimyo returns the scrolls.
“if you have anything to say, just say it”, Naruto says, noticing the glares from the Suna guests.
“words cannot describe how much I hate you”, the jonin, Baki says with venin in his voice, “to use our comrades as flesh eating beasts and turn them against their own, there’s a place in hell for people like you!”.
“I know, I’ve been there”, Naruto answers in a cheerful tone making a chill run down everyone’s spine, “but then again, yours are the words of a survivor invader from a failed invasion”.
“an invasion born of desperation!”, Kankuro, the puppeteer says.
“but an invasion nonetheless”, Naruto asks and the Suna genin lower their heads, “ desperation or not, you are in the wrong here”.
“but did you had to use such vile spell?”, Hashirama asks, since Tsunade wasn’t feeling well, he’s filling in for her.
“I could’ve done worse”, is Naruto’s answer.
“I don’t even want to know”, Minato says, “now, we should focus on what to do with Suna”.
“is there anything to do?”, Naruto asks, “the only thing to be done is to prepare for war”.
“care to elaborate?”, the Daimyo asks, interested in what Naruto is saying.
“the power balance has shifted now that Suna no longer is a great village and even if theyw ere, they’ve lost what? Three quarters of their already dwindling military and they tailed beast in this invasion”, Naruto starts explaining and everybody does the math mentally, “Iwa will probably invade Wind country to seize territory and will most likely succeed. Kumo will see the chaos and use the distraction to mobilize and attack Kiri, which right now is too weak defend themselves, resulting in Water country being annexed to Lightning, from there, both nations will turn their eyes to Fire country”.
Naruto was right, with the fall of one of the great villages, there was a very high chance for another shinobi war to start.
“it is decided then”, the Daimyo says, “I hope it doesn’t come to this, but nonetheless we shall prepare for war and in lieu of the fact that Suna had been fooled by a traitor, I declare that all Sunagakure Shinobi who seeks asylum within the Fire Country borders are to be taken in by Kononha, this meeting is adjourned”.
Within the following months, Naruto’s predicament became true.