Chapter 39
The finals were just a week away and Naruto was making good use of his time.
“what the hell is Minato doing?”, Naruto asks, as he uses his cloak of non-existence spell to stalk the troupes camping in the woods surrounding Konoha, “seriously, there’s like three armies camping right outside the walls”.
After walking around a little more, he notices an interaction between a sand jonin and Kabuto, all the while a hidden leaf nin heard it all.
“dumbass gonna get himself killed”, Naruto says, taking a better look at the leaf nin, “hold the fuck up, that’s the guy Neko is boning!”.
He remembers Neko, or Yugao as she is known outside of the ANBU, she was one of the few ANBU who didn’t look on the other direction when the villagers decided to be dicks, small kindness as that was, it wasn’t going to go repaid.
“well, time for my good deed of the month”, Naruto says following behind as the leaf nin, who he now recognizes as the proctor of the prelims is indeed found and is on the run from the sand jonin.
Following the two, Naruto tries to think what would be the better approach to this situation.
“I could kill him”, Naruto thinks as he flies next to the sand jonin, Baki as he catches up to Hayate, “nope, that would cause too much of a trouble”.
Baki and Hayate starts fighting and it became very clear that Hayate was up to scratch when it came to fighting Baki.
“this is honestly very anticlimactic”, Naruto says as Hayate gets sliced over and over again by wind blades, “seriously, with how much importance they put into the substitution technique in the academy I’m surprised he hadn’t used it yet”.
In the end, Hayate was killed a few minutes later Kabuto shows up and collects a blood sample.
After he leaves, Naruto approaches Hayate’s body.
“you are so damn lucky I’m around”, Naruto says, snapping his fingers.
As he does, Hayate’s wounds heal as color returns to him when his blood starts running again, however, he remains unconscious.
“well, enjoy your nap”, Naruto says, scooping him with a magic hand, “it surely makes my job easier, now where to go…”.
He turns around and sees the lights in the Hokage tower still on.
“well, that’s was easy”, Naruto says, “come on sleepyhead”.
Meanwhile in the tower, Minato, the clan heads and the jonin gathered to strategize.
“why can’t we just go there and blast him away?”, Tsume asks, looking at the crystal ball, “like, the bastard didn’t even left the village’s perimeter”.
“I know, the problem is Orochimaru is as slick as oiled snake, no pun intended”, Minato says, rubbing his temples, “we also don’t know of his allies”.
“Suna allied with him, so we can presume they are our enemies as well”, Shikaku says with a goran, “troublesome, I knew something like this would happen, this peace was lasting too long. Mikoto, how’s your clan safety measure going?”.
“they are going well, so far so good”, Mikoto says with a frown, “I hate to put the clan in a state of martial law, but with him around we can’t risk him going after someone else after he failed to get Sasuke”.
“they won’t have to stay that way for too long, I hope”, Hiruzen says, letting out a sight, “I should have killed him when I had the chance”.
“no point in crying over spilled milk”, Inoichi says, “die we of word of Hayate?”.
“not yet”, Shikaku says, “I have a bad feeling, if he doen’t make contact I’m gonna send a searching party”.
“no need for that”, Naruto says, appearing out of thin air.
“holy shit!”, Tsume screeches, jumping back startled, “how the fuck did you get in?”.
“I have may ways”, Naruto answers, non-phased by the stares he got, “guess what I found during my walk?”.
At that, he lay Hayate on eh desk.
“brat, did you interfered with his mission?”, Tsunade asks pinching the bridge of her nose.
“if resurrecting his ass after he got killed by a sand jonin counts as interfering, then yes”, Naruto says puffing some smoke.
“what?!”, Yugao screams so loud Tsume recoils and covers her ears in pain.
“he was sen to spy on the Suna delegation right?”, Naruto asks, getting a nod from Shikaku, “so, long story short, he was caught on his way out, the jonin sensei of the Suna team followed him and shishkebabed him, after I made sure nobody was coming back to check on him, I resurrected his ass. He’s asleep right now”.
“ooh thank you!”, Yugao says with a deep breath of relief, “thank you so much”.
“you’re welcome”, Naruto says, turning to leave, but stopping as he feels Minato’s hand on his shoulder, “do you need anything Lord Fourth?”.
“no, you can leave, thank you for saving Hayate”, Minato says and Naruto vanishes.
“sensei, not to sound rude, but, shouldn’t we… you know, enlist Naruto into helping dealing with this problem?”, Kakashi asks.
“that would be wise”, Fugaku answers with a nod, “if it wasn’t for the fact a mob tried to jump his this morning”.
“don’t remind me”, Tsunade says with a groan, “those fuckers were lucky they got away lightly”.
“define, lightly”, Haiashi asks.
“he exploded their kneecaps and their testicles”, Tsunade says, and the entirety of the male population inside the room wince protectively cooping the family jewels.
“that was getting off easy?”, Chouza asks, looking like he’s about to spew his breakfast.
“yep, considering the downright horrible things he’s capable off, that was easy”, Tsunade finishes, “one time someone tried to throw a flaming bag of dog shit at him, poor bastard ended up getting his digestive track inverted”.
“what?”, Tsume asks with a small voice.
“basically, his mouth now is where the butthole used to be and his butthole is where the mouth was”, Tsunade says with a dead look on her eyes as everybody gags, “and the cherry on top, Naruto cursed him to have sudden bouts of flaming explosive diarrhea every time he gets aroused and guess which hole does it comes out”.
“kami have mercy”, Haiashi says, looking paler than normal.
“long story short, he’s not in a helpful mood”, Tsunade finishes, “at all!”.
On his way back, Naruto takes a detour to watch over the braches above the gathering armies outside the village’s walls.
“well”, Naruto says, pulling a small three eyes skull from his storage, “might as well take care of this”.
The week before the finals vanish in a blink of an eye and now, the big days has come.
The village is bustling with excitement as the masses gather in the stadium, itching to watch a good fight, very unaware of the tension hanging in the air.
“you should forfeit already”, Neji says as they take places in the arena, “fate already deemed you to be the loser”.
“gosh, you must really like the sound of your own voice”, Naruto says with a groan.
“you…”, Neji tries to angrily say, but is cut off.
“yeah, yeah, me”, Naruto says, rolling his eyes, “Neji, here’s a piece of wisdom, fate only decides that you are born and that you going to die, nothing more nothing less”.
Before the banter could go any further, the proctor signals for the fight to start.
Neji takes a stance while Naruto simply stands there.
“no…”, Neji says, as his eyes get the size of saucers, “why can’t I see it?!”.
“what’s wrong, fated winner?”, Naruto smirks as Neji starts to sweat, rubbing his eyes, “saw something you like?”.
Neji groans, cautiously approaching Naruto.
“how?”, Neji asks greeting his teeth, “how can I not see your chakra network?!”.
Naruto chuckles, weaving a light goading spell with his words.
“fuck you that’s how!!”, Naruto says and by the look of absolute fury on Neji’s eyes, the spell worked and the Hyuuga launches himself at him.
Aiming for a palm strike, Neji charges with furious abandon as Naruto simple stands there, smirking at the angry Hyuuga, that’s when Neji finds himself freefalling, having stepped into a portal in his blind rage and hitting the ground hard.
The impact makes him lose the air in his lungs when he lands on his back, but he presses forward, getting back on his feet as the adrenaline burns on his veins.
“cryofireball”, Naruto says, forming a ball of fire so cold it burns on his right hand and throwing it at the disoriented Hyuuga.
The ball hits him square in the chest and explodes in a wild and violent bust of bright ice blue flames that dance in the wind for a few seconds before solidifying into clear ice, trapping Neji inside.
The audience was in shock, especially the Hyuuga section that were hoping Neji would get some revenge for the ´rank Naruto pulled, but instead, their prodigy got dealt with little to no effort.
The proctor quickly declares Naruto the winner.
“well, that was that”, Naruto says, snapping his fingers and making the giant iceberg vaporize, freeing Neji, “take him to the infirmary before he gets sick”.