Chapter 23
If the sound of the door nearly getting blown out of the hinges was anything to go by, Tsunade was having a bad day.
“alright, who tried to get into your pants today?”, Naruto asks as he watches his roommate rummage through his cabinets with anger in her eyes.
“I’ve got removed from the hospital!”, Tsunade barks, grabbing a bottle of strong sake.
“you what?!”, Naruto asks, that was retard in many shapes and forms, “you are quite literally the greatest doctor to ever live, why in Amadeus name would they fire you?!”.
“well, I was treating a patient and some smart ass tried to cup a few”, Tsunade says , pouring a cup of sake and gulping it down in one go before refilling it, “then I punched him!!”.
“so far I so good, nothing out of the ordinary”, Naruto points out, “they have that ‘keep your hands to yourself’ sign for a reason”.
“well, turn out the son of a bitch I punched is the son of one of the feudal lords”, Tsunade says, already on her fourth cup, “the brat whined to his daddy who threatened to withdraw his sponsorship if I wasn’t removed from the hospital”.
“and the Hokage okayed that?!”, Naruto asks, apparently, stupidity was a wide spread disease.
“of course he didn’t, but he had not choice, the village is broke and cannot afford losing any sponsorship, so I was forcefully retired from the hospital!!”, Tsunade exclaims, ditching the cup and drinking straight from the bottle.
Seeing the woman who usually was headstrong and determinate in such distraught state made his almost inexistent heart clench, but right now she was fuming, she didn’t need words of encouragement or a shoulder to cry, she needed to blow some steam, preferably at something that wasn’t him.
“’I’m making fried chicken for dinner”, Naruto says as he watches Tsunade chug down sake like there’s no tomorrow, “do you want me to bring some to your room?”.
Tsunade puts down the bottle, her cheeks starting to get red.
“yes please”, she says in a meek tone.
“do you want to talk about it?”, Naruto asks.
“no, I don’t want to talk about how I just got booted out of the place I gave my blood, sweat and tears to build”, Tsunade says, with a bitter tone.
“Tsunade, listen to me and listen well you’ve been there for me when my life was shit, now I’m here for you”, Naruto says, getting closer to her and opening his arms, “I know you are hurting and I want you to know, you don’t need to be the strong independent woman I know you are, so, don’t be afraid and hit me with your angst”.
There’s a second of silence before Tsunade lunges at Naruto, glopping him in bone crushing hug while she ugly cries her sadness on his shoulder.
A week pass and Tsunade wasn’t getting back to her feet, which was a bad sign, she was a resilient woman who refused to stay down every time life threw a curve ball at her, that wasn’t the irritating part.
It really wasn’t, she was hurting badly. After all the past tragedies, the hospital became her life, but now it was ripped from her and it hurt, she didn’t leave the bedroom, she barely ate and her alcoholism had turned from bad to worse.
The irritating part was that it was his room that had turned into a sad cave with empty bottles all over the floor.
“you know, this really awkward”, Naruto says as he drags her out of his room and into his bathtub.
Curse his bleeding heart, he let Tsunade temporarily move into his bedroom to cheer her up, but she didn’t leave the bed for two days straight and she was starting to smell a little too ripe.
“come on Tsuna, I don’t care if you want to sulk a little longer, but at least take a shower”, Naruto says, using magic hands to bring the woman to her feet, “wait are those- you know what? Never mind, you can keep them”.
He says, staring at the poor state of the set of silky sleep attire Tsunade was using, gosh those were made using the finest silk in the High Kingdoms.
“these are comfy”, Tsunade musters.
“yes they are, but they are also disgustingly dirty”, Naruto says, “and those were mine, but as I said, you can keep them, but first you need to take a bath”.
“wash me”, Tsunade says, lifting her arms.
“what?”, Naaruto asks, confused.
“you heard me, wash me”, Tsunade says.
“Tsunade, you are a grown ass woman, wash yourself”, Naruto says internally groaning.
“no!”, she pouts.
“tsuna”, Naruto tries to plead.
“just this once, please”, Tsunade asks, her voice is a sad plead tone.
“fuck, fine!!”, Naruto groans, much to the amusement of Tsunade.
An hour later, they are both in the kitchen.
“that’s something I never want to do again”, Naruto groans, “ever!!”.
“it wasn’t that bad”, Tsunade says, munching on a big plate of food he had prepared for her.
“because it wasn’t you who had to scrub a week’s old under boob sweat”, Naruto says, “and those are YOUR boobs!!”.
“I still don’t know what you are complaining about, there’s a lot of people who would sell their limbs for the chance of running their hands all over my body”, Tsunade says, crossing her arms under her boobs and making them bounce a little.
“good, so I can ask Jiraiya to give you a sponge bath next time”, Naruto says.
“you do that and I’ll castrate you with my teeth!!”, Tsunade exclaims slamming her hands on the table.
“bold of you to presume I would ever get my balls within biting distance of your mouth!!”, Naruto exclaims back, “especially considering how long it has been since the last time you brushed your teeth!”.
“what, so suddenly you are too good for little old me?!”, Tsunade angrily asks, getting on is face as her face turns red, “I’ll let you know brat, I’m the legendary sucker for a reason!”.
“yes, that’s because your bitch ass sucks so much at gambling its legendary!!”, Naruto bites back.
“what did you called me?!”, Tsunade huff in anger.
“you heard what I said!!”, Naruto huffs back.
“oh you…”, Tsunade jumps Naruto.
Another hour later, they both are panting in the kitchen floor, their clothes long being sliced to ribbons, both were covers in sweat, scratches and bruises and were laying in a puddle of their own sweat.
“oh yeah, I really needed that!!”, Tsunade says, taking a drag from Naruto’s smoking pipe.
“glad to know I was of help”, Naruto says, taking the pipe back and taking a drag, “gosh, Mito better never find out about this”.
“about what, how your yapping about how I haven’t brushed my teeth derailed into hate sex in the kitchen table?”, Tsunade asks, “if anything else you should be bragging about it to the winds, you succeeded where many tried and failed”.
“kissing and telling is habit I’m glad I don’t have”, Naruto says as he sighs, “gosh, this is going to be a shit show”.
“hey, I can handle some casual fucking on the side, I won’t make a big deal out of it if you don’t make one either”, Tsunade says, with a pleased chuckle, “damn, I really needed a good lay, I forgot when was the last time I had one”.
“weren’t you the one saying there was a long line of men who would sell their limbs for a chance with you?”, Naruto chuckles and Tsunade playfully punches him in the arm as she takes the smoking pipe from him.
“and there is, too bad none of them meet my standards”, Tsunade says, taking another drag of the pipe.
“and I met said standards, last I checked this little tryst here was a spur of the moment thing”, Naruto points out.
“Naruto, I’m not naïve I have enough self-awareness to know I’m at my lowest, at any given moment you could have taken advantage of me”, Tsunade says, sitting up and letting her boobs hang in clear view of him, “but you didn’t, in fact you actively refused me even though I gave you free reign over my body at some point”.
“wait a minute, so that whole ‘wash me thing’, was a ruse?”, Naruto asks sitting up.
“nope, I really wanted to be pampered”, Tsunade admits as Naruto takes back the smoking pipe and takes another drag, “if anything else, I took advantage of you”.
“fuck, it just downed on me that I slept with a legendary sannin who’s thrice my age”, Naruto gorans.
“and you didn’t invited me!!”, comes Mito’s voice from the Kitchen entrance.
Naruto and Tsunade pales.
“how long have you been there?”, Naruto asks, how didn’t he noticed the bun haired pain in the ass he calls friend standing there?
“long enough to regret not joining in when I had the chance”, Mito says, annoyed.
“if you ever open your mouth about this I’m going to eviscerate you tough you eyeballs!!”, Naruto threatens.
“relax buddy, I’m not going to tell anyone about it”, Mito says, “so… any chance for a threesome?”.
Naruto and Tsunade send her a death glare.
“I’ll take that as maybe”, Mito says, “so, I take that you are finally getting out of that funk”.
“yeah, not sure about that, the hospital was my baby, I devoted my life to that place and now I don’t know what to do”, Tsunade says.
“no, enough with that depressing crap”, Naruto says and a light bulb lights up on his head, “I have an idea, my team still needs a sensei, why don’t you take the chance and become out teacher?”.
“boy, I’m a Sannin”, Tsunade says, with narrowed eyes.
“you are also unemployed and I know for a fact you don’t have the patience to deal with anything on your actual pay grade”, Naruto points out, “besides, you already teaches two people on my team, you would be just making it official”.
“that’s not a bad idea”, Mito says, “besides, it’s not going to be permanent, we both know Minato isn’t idiot enough to keep you away from the hospital forever, he’s just waiting for an excuse to put you back in, but until there you need to get yourself busy”.
“fuck it, I’m in”, Tsunade says, getting up, “I’m also need a shower”.
She grabs Naruto by the arm and drags him with her.
“come, you wash my back and I wash yours”, Tsunade says dragging him with her.
“I think we shouldn’t do it, after all I’m still 14”, Naruto points out.
“bah, legally speaking you are an adult and a shinobi that means you are old enough to bear all the risks the job entails”, Tsunade says, “if you are old enough to kill then you are old enough to fuck”.
“amen sister”, Mito says, joining them, “wait for me, I want a back rub too”.