Chapter 10
You know, these are the moments Izuku looks up to, where he could just lay down and watch the stars.
Izuku didn’t had that many good memories from his first life, the memories of second life on the other hand were a fine mix of good and bad, the third one mirrored the first but if there’s one thing all three of them have in common is this, a quiet moment where is only him and the night sky, staring into the boundless ever expanding beauty of the stars.
“the moons is gorgeous tonight”, he says to himself, no one would hear him, it was way pass midnight and he was laying at the two of the main house of the Senju compound.
The moon indeed was beautiful that night… it was also growing bigger… and bigger… fast.
And that leads us to now, back in the void.
“void sweet void”, Izuku says, back in the void, looking around and seeing Hiruzen, Tsunade, Kushina and Mito, “from all the ways to die, crushed by the moon wasn’t on my list”.
“die?!”, Tsunade asks, in shock, “are we dead?!”.
“yup, welcome to the void, population…”, Naruto says, looking around to the equally shocked group, “us, at least for now, the fuck just happened?”.
“who are you talking to Sochi?!”, Kushina asks, approaching Naruto for a comforting hug.
“that’s probably me”, comes The Light’s voice as it appears in front of them.
“who or what are…”, Hiruzen starts saying.
“mind if I smoke, I’m not in the mood for this shit again”, Naruto says, pulling a smoking pipe from… somewhere.
The pipe is basically Gamabunta’s smoke pipe but scaled down for human use.
“be my guest”, The Light says.
“SOCHI!!”, Kushina screeches in horror as Naruto lights the pipeweed and takes a deep drag.
“mom, I’m already dead”, Naruto says, puffing out smoke rings.
“give-me that you brat!”, Mito says, snatching the pipe from Naruto’s mouth and herself taking a deep drag, holding in for a few seconds and then puffing out, “wow, now that’s the good shit!!”.
As matter of fact, due to a miscalculation in the ratio of the rejuvenating potion (read as, Mito lied about her age, by making it sound like she was older then she really was) Naruto ended up using more potion then needed and now Mito has the body of someone the same age as Naruto.
“hey!!”, Naruto says, snatching the pope back and taking a drag, “get your own pipeweed ya hag!!”.
“shut up brat!!”, Mito says, snatching the pipe back, or trying, but instead getting her hand hit by said pipe.
“I meant what I said hag, get your own pipeweed!!”, Naruto says, putting the pipe back into his mouth and taking another deep drag to calm himself.
“can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?!”, Tsunade exclaims, willfully ignoring her pouting grandmother.
“you guys are dead”, The Light explains, “Kumo was conducting tests with a few secret Uzumaki seals they scavenged from Uzushio’s ruins and ended up activating the last ‘fuck you’ the Uzumaki left behind. Basically it was a special gravity seal that pulled the moon towards your planet at Mach one billion, your planet is no more”.
“WHAT?!”, most of the group exclaims.
“the Raikage, that meathead fucked up and now we are all dead”, Naruto says, letting out some smoke, “it’s not that complicated”.
“you are weirdly calm for someone who just died”, Hiruzen says, also taking a drag from his pipe.
“not my first time here”, Naruto says, tuning to the Light, “so, did you brought us here to bid us good bye before we go to the Pure Lands?”.
“you? In the Pure Lands? Banish the tough!!”, The Light says with boisterous laugher, “I’m sending you to another shinobi world to fuck shit up!!”.
Before anyone could say anything, The Light stopped laughing and turned to, or at least they tough it turned to Mito.
“you and her”, The Light says, as the rest of the group vanishes, leaving only the rejuvenated matriarch and Izuku in its presence, “don’t worry, as a gift, I removed the curse from the Uzumaki women, they are now allowed to cross the veil”.
“you gotta be fucking me, why?!”, Naruto asks, feeling rightfully annoyed.
“because I’ve decided to punish you for your hubris and your work is never done”, The Light says, its monotone making pretty hard to say if it was or wasn’t a joke, “that would be something I would say if I had any other reason than you being my favorite, the real answer is fuck you that’s why”.
“of course it is, but why her?”, Naruto asks, noticing his pipe was missing and that Mito was taking another hit of his pipeweed, “give me that!!”.
He yanks the pipe back.
“cause fuck her too”, The Light says.
“wow, feeling the love right now!”, Mito says with her arms crossed.
“if I didn’t loved you, you would be in the Pure Lands right now”, The Light says.
“you make it sound like it’s a bad thing”, Mito says, frowning.
“oh shut up you devil woman, your husband is too engrossed with his Uchiha lover to think about you”, The Light says.
“wait, he’s fucking Madara?!”, Mito asks, her eyes going wide, “why I am not there?! I want to watch!!”.
“ha! I knew it!!”, Naruto bellows, “aunty owns me five thousand ryo!!”.
“you can watch that as much as you want later, right now, does any of you want a run-down of how different the world you are about to go is different from the one you used to live?”, The Light asks.
“ugh, shoot”, Naruto says.
“long story short, Minato and Kushina are still alive, they had triplets, Kurama threw her genjutsu induced temper tantrum, got split in three and sealed inside the Hokage’s, i.e. you and your siblings, Menma and Nemuri, Menam got the Ying half, Nemuri got the Yang half and you got the soul… which in any other case would be useless without the chakra”, The Light explain.
“dumbarsses, they cut my work for me”, Naruto chuckles.
“what are you talking about?”, Mito asks.
“the suckers stuck me with Kurama’s blue print, I’m pretty I’ll have a roided up Kurama 2.0 up and running in a week tops”, Naruto says, oh the possibilities, “but this time, instead of chakra he’ll be made of pure aether”.
“brat, I’m still here!!”, Kurama 1.0 scream from inside him.
“oh yeah, I forgot about you”, Izuku answers inside his mindscape, “wait a second”.
Naruto turns to the Light.
“hey, what about the tailed beasts?”, Naruto asks, looking at the light, “what will happen to them?”.
“well, they were connected to the life chakra of the planet, now that the planet is gone, so they are and since they were soul bearing beings, they’ll be allowed entrance into the Pure Lands”, The Light says, “the only reason Kurama is not with his siblings, is because you are here in the void, if he wants, you can let him out to join them”.
“did you heard that fuzz ball?”, Izuku asks.
“let me out of here already!!”, Kurama exclaims.
“he wants out”, Naruto says.
“done”, The Light says and Izuku could feel that once again he was alone inside his head, “now were I was, oh yes, by the way your parents and siblings were royal cunts to you, you got disowned on both ends, sent to jail on a false rape accusation at 11, executed through public torture at 13 and buried in a non-marked grave in the outskirts of the village, Kuarama’s soul had been keeping you barely alive all this time while trying to heal your body, thus why it wasn’t released to respawn upon your death”, The Light continues, unbothered, “and that’s where you’ve been for the last year, I’m already downloading the memories on your brain”.
“fuck, no punches pulled huh?”, Naruto says, as new memories flood his brain.
“what about me?”, Mito asks, excited and worried.
“wait your turn, I’m not finished yet”, The Light says, “were I was? Oh yes, things got better post haste, as it turns out your parents and siblings were under a genjutsu, they came back to their senses and cleared your name, at least legally. They’ve been trying to find your body to give you a proper burial, buy they don’t know where you were buried”, The Light finishes and turns to Mito, “as for you… you are the younger half-sibling of a weapons mistress in the making called Tenten and you were born from her father’s second marriage with an Uzumaki after his wife died of illness three weeks after she gave birth to Tenten”.
“that’s it?”, Mito asks.
“no, I’m also giving you back all of your chakra and the strength of a hundred seal, you might wanna hide that for a while and unlocking all the Uzumaki kekkei genkais. Now off you go!!”, The Light says, as it sends both to their new lives.
Dark.
Dark, cold and silent, for many this would be a nightmarish situation… for Izuku on the other hand, this is ideal nap conditions.
Dark, cold and silent, yep, perfect nap conditions, especially during the hot summer… if it wasn’t for the fact her was probably six feet deep under and there was an asshole knocking on the lid of his coffin.
“you sure this one is the right one?”, a woman’s voice can be heard coming from above.
“it has to be, we’ve been digging holes all day long”, comes a lazy man’s voice.
“it better be, if have to dig another grave I’m going to desert”, the woman says, “why the Hokage is going to do with a ciminal’s body anyway?!”.
“Anko, didn’t you heard?”, the Man asks with a confused tone.
“heard what Asuma?”, Anko asks.
“oh, I forgot you were out in a long mission, this is Lord Fourth’s second son, turns out he was framed by Danzo and Mitsuki”, Asuma says, as he keeps shuffling the shovel to clear the dirt from the coffin.
“you kidding!”, Anko says, surprised, “you telling me those assholes pulled a sneaky one on the Yellow Flash?!”.
“yep, I don’t know all the details, but the ploy goes way back, apparently, as far as the Kyuubi attack if what I heard can be trusted”, Asuma says, banging the shovel on the lid of the coffin, so he can take a peek inside, “Lord Fourth is officially cleaning his son’s name and is going to properly bury him with his ancestors”.
“man, that sucks”, Anko says, recognizing the standard kind of coffin used to bury the prisoners of T&I, “how old was he?”.
“eleven when he was arrested and thirteen when he was executed”, Asuma says, prying open the lid of the coffin, “I feel bad for the kid, he was friends with Shikamaru… well, at least until his trial”.
“let me guess, they turned on him?”, Anko asks receiving a sad nod from Asuma, “what he supposedly did anyway?”.
“he was accused of attempting to rape the youngest heiress of the Hyuuga clan”, Asuma says, “the trial was a shit show”.
“sheesh, I bet the execution thing was Hiashi’s idea”, Anko points out.
“yep and the elders couldn’t jump on that wagon fast enough, they tough they would be getting rid of the weakest part of the kyuubi”, Asuma finishes.
“poor thing, at least now he’s in peace”, Anko says, “is this one the right one?”.
“let’s see”, Asuma raises his lantern, “yup, the spitting image of the Hokage, just like Kushina described him”.
“good, now let’s…”, Anko starts saying when she feels the temperature drop.
“were did he go?”, Asuma asks, looking at the empty coffin.
“what do you mean?”, Anko asks.
“it’s not here anymore”, Asuma says, “look, the body is gone!!”.
“what?!”, Anko runs to the edge of the grave and looks down to see that indeed, the coffin was empty, “where did it go?!”.
“that’s what I want to know!”, Asuma exclaims, his cigarette had long fallen off his mouth.
“you know”, comes a third voice, a raspy one of someone who just had woken up with a dry throat, “it is very rude to wake up someone without a good reason”.
Anko feels a strong push on her back and sha falls inside the grave, Asuma manages to pick her before she hits the bottom.
They both pale as they look up to see Naruto standing at the edge of the grave, staring them down with his remaining right eye that shone in a deep and cold tone of blue.
He wears the grey kimono shirt and pants made of rough linen that once were his inmate uniform, broken shackles on his wrists, ankles, and paper seals randomly spread all over his body with one of them covering his missing left eye.
Then, he vanishes, leaving behind the two bewildered jounnin.
“well, I think we should report to the council that there’s an undead roaming around”, Asuma says, trying to lit another cigarette, but his shaky hands weren’t helping.
“you do that, I’m going to get blacked out drunk!”, Anko says, jumping out of the grave and sprinting as fast as she can to the closest bar.