Sunshin and Existential Dread
One chapter in Sasukes trusted " Increase your Chakra Control to Perfection" book talked about the fact that once you used chakra you could use it to move faster.
One such application was the sunshin.
Sasuke knew about that beforehand, of course, his cousin Sishui had a whole moniker about it! but he had never tried to do it.
Whenever he had asked Sishui with wide puppy eyes if he could teach him to be as fast as himself, the guy had laughed and promised to teach him when Sasuke was a genin.
Well, Sasuke mused. He won't do that now.
And then he had to choke the tears back when he thought about the fact that Sishui might never exist again, that he might never see him or anyone else he knew and cared for again because the time travel could fail or he could end up somewhere where they don't exist- and maybe, through the butterfly effect, accidentally prevent their existence.
Sasuke had to use the calming genjustu to try to ignore his panic attack- at least a book on psychological trauma that he had half-read when he didn't sleep for three days called what he was experiencing as that- and that helped at first.
!
But then Sasuke started to think about preventing his own birth and for some reason that made him smile. If he wasn't born, would the clan still have died? After all, Itachi never did anything without a reason...and he left Sasuke alive. And living was...so hard. If Sasuke didn't live he wouldn't have to be responsible for the clan now, he wouldn't be an orphan all alone in the world, he wouldn't try to break the rules of the world...he wouldn't be alone and he wouldn't feel pain. Neither the physical pain when he overdid his training or chakra exercises again ( because he slept better when he was utterly exhausted and if he wasn't he still sometimes didn't sleep at all)... nor the pain of loosing everyone and being alone.
But if he didn't exist and Itachi would still kill the clan and leave nobody alive he couldn't help his clan. And his entire existence, his living right now would be pointless. So, Sasuke concluded, he should not try to erase his existence if the opportunity for it presents himself ( even if he wants to)
For some reason Sasuke never even thought about preventing Itachis existence.
But then again, Itachi was always a focus point in his universe.
!
To calm down, Sasuke just laid down on the lake to mediate a bit.
When he was finally able to shake his unwanted thoughts up, he focused on the theory of sunshin.
He had, long ago, copied the jutsu description but seeing something described wasn't as easy to copy as if he had an illustrative example.
Then again, he couldn't just go around the village and wait until he saw a ninja do the sunshin. They would notice and that would get him noticed, more than he already might be by his watchers...and being noticed when you are alone in a village that doesn't respect you of a clan that is often feared and hunted for the eyes did not bode well.
By reading his father's notes ( it wasn't creepy it was important knowledge for the past- and soothing because reading something his parents wrote or read reminded him of them when they were alive, not the dead bodies he often saw when he fell asleep) that father had kept on clan proceedings and full observations, Sasuke knew that his clan had not been safe in the village for quite some time.
His father had written about them being observed, about them being hold responsible for the kyubi attack ( and rather angrily emphasised that it wasn't them because in order to control a Chakra-Beast you need an evolved Sharingan and he had witnesses that proved none of the few people who had it in the clancould have done it), about declining police mission, about random inspections by Danzo who the Hpkage granted far too much power, about missing children that he was strongly encouraged not to investigate and about all the comments and their relocation after the Kyuubi attack.
He couldn't shake the thought that this was done on purpose, to weaken and then kill them, couldn't shake the thought that Danzo might have poisoned Itachi against the clan somehow because he knew Itachi listened to orders if he thought they were right without question, something that hd had learned to do that during Anbu.
( Sasuke knew that because before Itachi became a monster, Itachi sneaked into his room and watched him be alive, sometimes checked his pulse. Itachi always felt bad when he woke him so Sasuke only let him know he was awake on accident or when it felt like Itachi needed cuddles and comfort ( that his mom always gave Sasuke but he had never seen her give Itachi). And sometimes Itachi talked and told him he had done something horrible but it had been orders so it had been right. At first Sasuke had told him that maybe the orders weren't right if they made him feel bad and maybe he could avoid doing that for now but that no matter what Itachi would always be his awesome brother, even if he messed up.
Now Sasuke wondered if he could have changed things by being more insistent on how important it was to stand up for yourself and disobey sometimes. Then again, he was just his kid-brother so would Itachi have listened?
Sasuke shook his head. Wether Itachi had been manipulated into killing the clan or not...he had done it. It wouldn't change anything to dwell on it...Sasuke still had to fix the mess he created.
A tiny voice in his head whispered that if Sasuke suceeded, Sasukw would prevent Itachi from such a life anyways. After all if he warned people maybe thing woukd be different and Itachi could be raised less strictly and not forced into anbu at twelve and maybe even be more happy. And if he traveled back in time no matter when Itachi at least wouldn't have the blood of his kin on his hands anymore...expect for in Sasukes memories.
Sasuke took a deep breath. He needed to stop thinking. He needed to try the sunshin... well or begin the process of doing that...now.
To start with, Sasukes trusted Chakra Exercise book, had recommended just pushing chakra into his feet to move faster. It was a bit different from tree- or- water walking but Sasuke managed that easily enough and soon ran in between the houses of his district.
When he had done that around five times, Sasuke went to a kind-of-obscured place, the back of his compound behind all the houses so that it was less likely that he would be seen and worked on the sunshin.
In theory the jutsu was pretty easy. Push chakra into your body and concentrate on where you want to go.
There was also something about leaves but the book said it wasn't necessary and could be replaced by lots of other things or nothing at all.
So Sasuke ignored it for now, focused on a point of place and used his chakra.
It worked but had gotten more far than he wanted.
Sasuke sighed. Perfecting this would be hard work.
He practiced until he was almost out of chakra ( he had built some up through all the chakra control training so his endurance was quite good for a seven-year-old) and then went inside to make himself some onigiri for the next day and dinner and ate a raw tomato as a treat.