This little pig...
"Inosuke please we've talked about this- you have to stay out of here." Inoichi tried not to drop his son as he wiggled into painful-looking positions trying to escape his grasp.
"FIGHT ME COWARD!" high-pitched squeaking accompanied the little boar's struggles as he clawed at his father's restraining hands. Deftly Inoichi grabbed Inosuke by the wriggling feet and hung him upside down as he made a quick dash to further them from the Forest of Death.
They must look a sight- a respected (somewhat) clan head running through the village while dangling his son from his feet- the young boy's face covered by a boar's mask that did nothing to dampen his screaming obscenities.
Of course, they must be used to it by now- it'd been the same song and dance since Inosuke could walk. He'd wait for Inoichi to be out of the house- escape his mother and sister, then go 'exploring his new territory'.
'At least he didn't manage to steal someone's sword this time' Inoichi sweat as he remembered Hayates wails when he'd returned the blade; the boy had taken a rock to it and chipped out big chunks to make teeth.
Inoichi sighed as he finally arrived back at the house, twisting Inosuke around quickly he wrapped the child in a one-armed hug to restrain his flailing as his wife welcomed them home.
"Papa! You brought Nii-san back!" Ino-chan cheered as she toddled up to them with sparkling blue eyes.
Smiling Inoichi couldn't help but think how happy he was with his son in their lives; even if he was going to give him a stomach ulcer one day.
"BETTER MAKE WAY! INOSUKE YAMANAKA COMING THROUGH!"
Orochimaru was barely able to escape with his head intact though he did lose his left arm at the shoulder.
which wasn't growing back for some reason- gold eyes glared at the little pig boy, serrated sword dripping with the snake sanin's blood.
He couldn't sense this boy at all, even with his snake like abilities he hadn't felt the boy coming. Was he another Itachi?
"Oh? Little Piggy wants to play as well?" Forming one-handed signs Orochimaru prepared to kill the little urchin - "i'm afraid I don't have time for you little pig." with a final sign earth slammed up around the interloper in jagged chunks. Huffing- he supposed not. He must have just been distracted playing with his food.
Turning his attention back to Sasuke and Naruto who were still trembling Orochimaru laughed again. His mouth was still laughing even as his head fell from his shoulders- eyes rolling until all he could see was the light blonde hair of his killer.
Ino's brother had been in the year ahead of them in the academy, Naruto only remembered him because he once beat up a bunch of bullies for picking on him; but then he also beat him up for being weak and could never remember his name so he never tried being friends before.
But WHAT THE HELL???? WHY WAS HE SO FUCKING PRETTY????
His personality was so shitty but his face was prettier than Sakura, Haku, Ino and Sasuke's combined!
His blonde hair was longer than Ino's where it had been shoved into that boar mask, his eyes were such a pretty clear green they blew his sisters and Sakura's away! Naruto felt his heart beating faster than when he was scared for his life.
This just wasn't fair! Why was he surrounded by all these pretty assholes?