Chapter 6
The next two months passed quickly. Winter was fully upon them now and Tobirama was starting to feel the effects of her pregnancy. Morning sickness had been her greatest enemy, though the ginger tea provided by Mai had certainly helped; it wasn't enough to prevent all of it and she had spent more time throwing up than she had ever thought possible. She hoped that it was coming to an end as she was just entering her second trimester. At least that's what Mai has told her.
Tobirama sat at the kotatsu with her hand resting on her slight bump, she had just begun to show, though it wasn’t obvious through her clothes yet. She wondered what the Uchiha were going to think once they realized she was pregnant. She was pretty sure they would all be able to guess how the baby came to be. It left her with a heavy feeling in her gut knowing so many people would know what happened to her. The only thing that made her feel better was the knowledge that none of them would look down on her.
Unwed mothers in her own clan were often looked down on and because of that it was really rare to see one.
Madara and Izuna continued to take care of her, though less now that she was able to move around again now that her ankle had healed. It grated on her nerves having them so near all the time. She had really come to love the days they were kept busy with clan duties and were away from the house. Tajima continued to be kind to her but he wasn’t as warm as his sons. Which she honestly was thankful for. She didn’t think she would be able to handle that too.
Tobirama debated getting up and making herself some tea to go along with the book she had been reading but she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave the warmth of the kotatsu.
Deciding to get up and make tea she spent the time waiting for the kettle to boil considering Madara. It was obvious by now he had feelings for her. And she couldn’t deny she was drawn to him. Most nights as they sat around the living room at the end of the day talking he would take to wrapping her in his chakra. Something she found immensely comforting. One of the worst things about the chakra blocking seal was that it cut her off from sensing and it left the world feeling a bit blank for her. She was always able to feel the people, and their emotions around her so it had been a real struggle getting used to not having that. Madara made her feel like she had a little of that back. Not only that but he always left her feeling safe and protected, she was starting to associate him with the feeling of home.
Bringing her tea back to the table she decided to get back to reading. Mai had given her a book on pregnancy and she was trying to learn as much as she could. She didn’t realize her baby would be able to hear her in just a couple of weeks. She found herself looking forward to talking to them. She thought about what it would be like when she could teach them jutsu theory, and sealing.
This led to her imagining her baby growing up and not being forced to learn to hold a kunai at 4 years old. Like the Uchiha, who don't start training children until they are 6. She swore to herself her baby would not be forced to kill someone when they were 5 so that they could be blooded shinobi, like her father had forced her.
Her baby would not grow up and be treated as a weapon. She imagined them smiling freely like Kagami, something even Hashirama with his boundless optimism was weary of doing in front of certain people.
Which brought mind to Hashirama. She wondered how he was doing. Had he found her note? Had he confronted their father? How had he tried to explain her absence? Tobirama had promised she would write to him. But that was when she had planned to go to the Hatake. She couldn’t exactly send him a note from here. If only she had access to her chakra and her summons. She could have sent one of them with a letter for him. She felt so guilty. He must think she's dead. It had been almost 3 months since she had left home.
Thinking about Hashirama caused her to start tearing up and she cursed her hormones for causing her to be so emotional.
So of course that was when Madara walked in.
Seeing her tear streaked face he rushed over to her, “what happened? Is it something with the baby?” He asked, placing his hands on her shoulders.
And that! She hadn’t even noticed when she stopped flinching at his touch. By now she had grown used to his casual touches. Which was strange for her, even discounting her assault. She had never been touched so much in her life, if asked she probably would have said she didn’t like it. But these Uchiha boys had wormed their way into her heart and she loved the way they constantly gave comforting touches.
“No, the baby is fine. I was just missing my family.”
“Ah, I suppose that's understandable. You’ve been away from them for so long. I’m sorry I know I am the reason seeing as I forced you to come to our compound.”
“It's fine, I know I will see them again. It will just take some time. Thank you for keeping me here, I wouldn’t have made it safely to the Hatake on my own. Besides, your clan has treated me as if I was one of their own, I have no complaints here.”
Madara smiled at her and moved his hands from her shoulders to run down her arms to her hands. He began to run his thumbs on the back of her hands in a soothing gesture. Tobirama looked up into his eyes and she could see he was about to kiss her. Could she let him do that? Knowing she was lying to him about who she was? She wanted to. Tobirama had never felt like this about another person.
She watched him as he slowly moved in, but then deciding, she pulled back. “I’m sorry, I just….I just can't.”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you, you are dealing with a lot and were just upset. I hope you wont hold this against me.”
“I’d never. You mean so much to me. I just don't want to ruin what we have.”
“Then we won't, things can stay just as they are.” He sounded kind but she could see the disappointment on his face.
She felt like crying again. She hated that she was disappointing him. But after everything he had done for her, she couldn’t let them move forward without him knowing the truth. And that was something she could never give him. He would never forgive her, and she couldn’t forgive herself.
******************
Madara tried to keep his disappointment to himself. He was sure she felt the same. But he would never push his feelings on her if she didn’t feel the same.
It wouldn’t stop being there for her though.He promised everything would stay the same and it would.
“I promise I’m not leaving because of what happened but I need to go work with my father. I just wanted to come by and check on you.” Madara gave her hands one more squeeze before he got up. “I have to rearrange our patrol routes, the Hagoromo clan have been making moves along our borders. We have to prepare in case it comes down to an attack.”
“That's weird, I thought the clans had an unofficial ceasefire during the winter.”
“They usually do. It's why we are being cautious. We don't want to be caught unaware. At least the Senju are staying within their borders.”
Tobira just nodded. “I won't keep you longer, thank you for coming to check on me. I will be out of the house until dinner, now that my ankle has healed enough I’m going to start training again.”
That caused Madara to stand up straighter. “Are you sure that's safe?”
“Of course, I’m not doing anything difficult, just building up my strength again.”
“Okay, just please be careful.”
Tobira smiled at him softly. “I will.”
Madara nodded and then turned around heading towards the clan's office at the outer edge of the compound.
As he walked into his own office and took a seat at his desk he began to go over the patrol routes. He didn’t want to take away from the men he had watching the Senju border but they really did need more people on the Hagoromo border. Not to mention they needed to get a spy near them to get a better idea of what was going on.
His first thought was to send Izuna, no one was better at infiltration than his brother, and no one was faster. Well other than the White Demon. He was sure Izuna would be able to get the information they needed.
Deciding this was the best course of action he went to his father to discuss it with him. Getting up and walking over to his fathers office he knocked on the door and waited for his father to call for him to enter.
Instead of pleasantries Madara chose to get straight to the point. “I’ve been looking over the information we have on the Hagoromo and I think we need to have someone investigate further. I recommend Izuna for this, I think he will be the most likely to get the job done and make it back home safely. I’ve also come up with a new patrol schedule I think will keep our borders more secure.”
“I’ll look it over but I trust your judgment on this. I'll have someone to find Izuna and send him here, I’ll have him set out at first light.”
Madara nodded, “is there anything else I can do for you father?”
“Yes, please go over the supply counts of what we have left for winter. Find out if we have enough or if we need to send men out to buy more to supplement us, this winter has been more harsh than we were expecting.”
“Of course father I will go work on that now.”
With a nod Madara turned and went back to his office.
He tried not to worry about the mission he just sent his brother on. It would be dangerous, and he didn’t doubt his brother's skill but he always worried for him when he went on missions. He just had to remember to keep faith in his brother's abilities.
With that he sat down and started working on the supply counts. He did his best to keep his mind on his task but he kept thinking about Tobira.
He thought about the way she reacted when he wrapped her in his chakra. The way when they were sitting on the couch she would slowly lean into him, about the nights that they would be talking late into the night and she would fall asleep against him.
The way she would watch him when she didn’t think he was looking. Could it be that she really just saw him as a friend? Was he reading too much into it, or was there something else holding her back?
Was it the secret he was convinced she was hiding? Even after all these months he hadn’t been able to figure it out. But he was sure there was something there. Something she was afraid they would find out. At least now he didn’t think it was a threat to his clan. If she was going to betray them he was convinced she would have already. The only letters she ever sent were to her grandmother and those were always checked before being sent. All they ever contained was updates on how she was doing, though he had noticed she had yet to tell her grandmother about the baby, and asking after her grandmother's health.
Speaking of her grandmother, things with the Hatake were progressing great. They had offered to use their trading route to help them sell their jewelry and weapons to more villages. It would be a great help for finances. They hadn’t expected the Hatake to offer so much when they had sent their first letter telling Hatake Akari that they had rescued her granddaughter. But it seemed they were more thankful than they had imagined.
This new alliance was going to really help them in the long run. Tajima had praised him for his rescue of Tobira and what it now meant to their clan.
So far meeting Tobira had changed his life for the better, and he loved seeing his clan interact with her. It made him so proud to be a part of the Uchiha clan. His clan truly was the clan of love.
He was well and truly fucked wasn’t he. Head over heels for a girl who just turned him down. He had to stop thinking about her all day.
That's it! He was done thinking about her today. He had work to do!
With that decision in mind he put his focus on the job his father had given him.
Before he knew it, night had fallen and it was time to go home. He was both dreading and looking forward to it. What if Tobira had changed her mind and decided she was upset with him for trying to kiss her? What if she didn’t want him around?
He tried not to let the doubts completely take over his thoughts but they were still swirling in his head during his walk home.
When he walked in the door it was to the smell of cooked chicken, he was already salivating thinking of eating dinner, he had skipped lunch and was regretting that now. At the kotatsu sat Tobirama and Izuna both enjoying yakitori, he hurried to serve himself a plate and sit at the table with them.
“Sorry we waited as long as we could but we were both hungry.” Izuna said with a smile.
“Don’t worry about it, sorry I was busy trying to get some work done and lost track of time, I had planned to be home earlier.”
Madara chanced a look over at Tobira, but she was looking down at her food so he couldn’t judge her mood. Did it mean something that she didn’t greet him?
Just as he was about to let his thoughts spiral into despair she looked up and smiled at him. “How was work? Did you get the new patrol routes sorted out? Izuna told me he was going on a mission tomorrow morning to check out things with the Hagoromo, have things gotten worse?”
“I did, and no, nothing is worse, we just need more information. No one is better at information gathering than Izuna.”
“That's right, I have a skill for getting into places I shouldn’t be. I don't know if you know this but infiltration is my speciality within the clan.”
A look crossed Tobira’s face but it was so quick he couldn't tell what it might have meant.
“I see, well please be safe. Who will smother me in blankets if you aren't here?" She let loose a small smile at his brother.
She really was so beautiful when she smiled. He couldn't help his soft smile in response.
" Haha,” Izuna laughed light hearted. " I suppose I'd best hurry back so you don't get too cold while I'm away. Maybe I’ll send Kagami to check in on you. Speaking of, I was wondering if you would be willing to train with him while I was away. Though I better not hear you are working too hard! If you get injured again I will never hear the end of it!"
Tobira looked indignant and Madara couldn't help but laugh at her. They were all well aware of her habit of pushing herself.
“I am more than capable of training without injuring myself. I know my limits," she huffed.
“Perfect, I knew I could count on you. I will go let Kagami and Mai know of the changes after dinner.”
" I look forward to working with him one on one. Thank you for your trust.”
"You have worked with us enough, I'm confident in your skills.”
Conversation continued around the table as they ate with Tajima joining them shortly after. He had been working later and later these last couple of weeks. Madara had tried to ask him what was going on but he was being surprisingly tight-lipped.
Izuna eventually excused himself to go speak with Mai and Kagami. The rest of them relocated to the living room to relax and wind down from the day. Tobira sat next to him with her arm touching his and reading a book.
He was talking about how training was going with his father but he kept finding his eyes drawn back to her. She looked so beautiful in Uchiha colors, the dark fabric really accentuates her pale skin and white hair. Today she had her hair pulled back in a loose braid but some hairs had fallen out to fall across her face. He wanted nothing more than to brush it back behind her ear but he held back, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable again today.
Tajima cleared his throat making Madara whip his head back to his father and blush a deep red when he saw the knowing look on his face. He couldn't believe he just got caught staring at her.
At least she didn't notice.
“Well I think I'm going to head to bed," Madara had enough embarrassment today, better he go to sleep before he made things worse for himself.
“Goodnight," said Tobira, not even looking up from her book. Apparently she was very focused on learning more about pregnancy. Actually maybe he should ask to borrow it when she is done. It wouldn't hurt for him to have an idea then maybe he could help her with things.
His father waved him off with a smile, clearly he knew why Madara was leaving.
*******
The days had been much quieter without Izuna around, he had only been gone 5 days but the difference was clear. She hadn't realized just how much she enjoyed his constant chatter until it was gone. Not that the three of them didn't talk with him gone, it just wasn't the same.
They were sitting down for dinner when a guard started banging on the door.
“Tajima-sama! Quickly it's Izuna!”
All three of them jumped from their seats and ran for the door, Madara got there first and threw the door open.
“What happened to Izuna?!” He shouted, the fear resonating in his voice.
"He's at the healing hall, he was stabbed. It doesn't look good."
Horror washed over her. This can't be happening. She couldn't lose Izuna, she had come to see him as another older brother.
Madara shoved passed the guard and started running. Tajima and Tobirama close behind him.