Chapter 2
Their work in the ANBU becomes tougher than before - because their forces were drastically reduced in the Nine-tails attack and getting new recruits will certainly take time - so the remaining ANBU need to work longer hours, do more shifts and more rounds and keep a high alert for possible invaders/ infiltrators/traitors and deserters.
It's a demanding and tiring pace, but Kakashi prefers it for the distraction it offers him - because focusing on the missions makes him more sober, less idle and less likely to sink into grief and ruminate on the countless “what ifs”.
Focusing on the missions prevents Kakashi's mind from wandering into wandering and intrusive thoughts. But it doesn't last long. It never lasts and it's never enough.
(At night, nightmares always come to torment him)
-
Eventually Kakashi is given limits. He can no longer go overboard on consecutive shifts, he can't skip so many sleep cycles, he can't replace real meals with soldier's pills. Kakashi fixes millimeters of these concerns, just enough to appease his Commander, and before long he's back on duty. (Not least because Konoha doesn't have the luxury to spare manpower.)
Now, something to be said about shinobi is that they work fast. Especially if they're committed, paranoid and in a hurry. So the clean-up and reconstruction of the Village is moving very quickly. Obviously, the shinobi areas are the first to be finished or cleared for use, while the civilian areas progress at a slower pace.
The funerals have been taking place since late that night. The bodies of civilians are the first to be dealt with because they are easier to release and are therefore veiled and buried more quickly.
The bodies of the shinobi receive another type of procedure: first they are stored, then identified and then released according to status/patent/lineage/policy or some other protocol in force.
Clans with kekkei genkai lineages or hidden techniques usually claim their dead first.
The bodies of ANBU agents follow a similar procedure, but due to the nature of ANBU, other types of procedures are applied depending on the case.
Bodies are usually destroyed immediately because agents tend to die in enemy territory, but with a bit of luck, some soldiers manage to be brought back home and can be given a proper burial or any other kind of pre-established funeral arrangement.
(Kakashi tries not to think too much about his own arrangements. Or about that will that he hasn't updated in years and which is now of no use to anyone else).
He also avoids thinking about the will his sensei left him, which undoubtedly has his name in it, alongside two others who can't inherit anything.
Truth be told, lately Kakashi has been trying to avoid thinking about too much. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But sooner or later reality catches up with him and knocks him down again.
The funeral of the sensei and the other shinobi took place a few days later.
Kakashi attends without really feeling that he is there. He listens with half an ear to the solemn speech the Sandaime Hokage makes to the large crowd of mourners and vaguely registers the presence of two of the three Sannis next to Council Goikenban. Kakashi promptly ignores everything else around him and focuses his gaze only on the two portraits that matter to him.
The photos displayed in rows are all standard, formal-style photos. Looking at them, Kakashi thinks that these photos don't do justice to Minato and Kushina because they convey nothing of the essence of the people they used to be in life.
Kakashi looks at the neutral faces displayed in the photo frame and feels sadness envelop his heart.
.
.
.
Long after the ceremony is over and the crowd has gradually dispersed, Kakashi leaves the cemetery and goes straight to the memorial stone. This time he doesn't know what to say to Obito and Rin. Perhaps he doesn't need to say anything, they are probably already aware of the tragedy and must be mourning it too.
Perhaps they are consoling each other together - especially Kushina, because she must surely be grieving for her husband's damned soul.
Kakashi shudders at the thought
After what happened to Rin... Kakashi asked his sensei to teach him fuuinjutsu. Lesson time with the sensei became scarce after Minato became Hokage and Kakashi joined the ANBU, but despite the tight schedule Kakashi still found time to study and practice.
When Minato couldn't supervise him in practical training, Kushina was there to replace him. So Kakashi has enough knowledge to understand exactly what the seal of the Grim Reaper is supposed to do.
Minato's soul would never reach the Pure Land. He would never be reunited with his wife and pupils. No amount of burning incense and prayer would help his teacher. And the knowledge of that hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
Kakashi shudders as his throat catches with the characteristic burning and this makes it difficult for him to breathe through the mask. Unsurprisingly, Obito's eye is the first to cry.
“Guys,” he begins, his voice faltering a little. “Don't worry about me. I'll - I'll” - be fine, he wants to say but can't because that's not really the truth.
“I'll try to carry on. For you” - that's all he can say.