Mercury’s Manifestation

"What?!?" You exclaim in disbelief. You can hardly believe what you're hearing. Pain has summoned you to his office and it was to inform you of your first mission. It seems outrageous to you that the mission is to go to the grocery store. Grocery shopping of all things?!

"This is a joke, right?" You narrow your eyes at Pain, searching his stoic face for any signs of humor.

"Do I look like I joke?" he replies flatly.

"...Fair point."

You cross your arms, still baffled. "You're telling me that an organization full of S-rank criminals can't handle a simple grocery run?"

Pain closes his eyes briefly. "The last time Hidan and Kakuzu went, they burned down half the store over a coupon dispute. And I will not be sending Deidara and Tobi after last time."

You raise an eyebrow at this. "What did they do?"

Pain exhales through his nose, looking tired. "Deidara tried to 'modernize' the experience by using explosive shopping carts. Tobi, on the other hand, attempted to recruit the cashier into the Akatsuki and wouldn't leave until he got an answer."

You try to hold back your laugh. "Okay, that does sound like a mess."

"Exactly," Pain deadpans. "That's why you are going. Konan will accompany you."

Oh? Now this is a different scenario. You weren't expecting to be paired with her, of all people.

Konan, standing beside Pain with her arms crossed, gives you a neutral stare. "I don't intend to waste time, so let's make this quick."

You clasp your hands together dramatically. "Ah, finally! Some quality girl time!" You blink at her expectantly. "So, Konan, tell me—what's your skincare routine? Your skin is literally flawless."

She ignores whatever the fuck you just said, turning toward the door. "We're leaving now."

You smirk, following her. This might actually be fun. Next victim on the list: Konan.

With a brand new robe, you have no need of your white cloak. Which means, you can carry your bindle with ease! When Konan spots you outside of your room, she stares at you, unblinking— before averting her attention to the bindle. Thankfully, she doesn't question it like most of the busybodies bastards in the Akatsuki. How refreshing.

Konan simply adjusts the sleeve of her own robe before gesturing for you to follow. "Let's get this over with."

You skip to her side, feeling oddly at ease in her presence. "You know, you're the first person who hasn't interrogated me about my bindle. That makes you my favorite."

She gives you a sidelong glance. "I don't see the point in asking unnecessary questions."

"How mature of you," you muse, tapping your chin. "No wonder you're the only woman here. It must be exhausting, being surrounded by so many man-children."

A faint smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "You have no idea."

The weather is perfect—not too hot, with a clear sky. A gentle breeze provides a pleasant respite from the heat, and the air feels refreshing. Birds can be heard chirping cheerfully in the background. Today will be a good, relaxing day.

Your thoughts are broken off when Konan suddenly addresses you, drawing your attention. "So, how do you like it here in the Akatsuki? It's— the third day for you, right?

"Yeah, third day," you confirm, adjusting your bindle. "And honestly? It's been... eventful. You guys are a lot to take in."

Konan hums in understanding, her paper-like footsteps barely making a sound. "That's expected. We're not exactly the most conventional group."

"That's one way to put it." You snort. "I thought S-rank criminals would be more... I don't know, scary? But so far, I've been flirted with, scammed into paying for my own food, and bullied by a blond with hand-mouths."

At that, Konan actually chuckles—soft, but genuine. "Welcome to the Akatsuki."

She's beautiful— you think. Refined and dignified. Quiet but glows- almost like an angel. She tries hard to maintain a cold exterior and indifference but you can tell from a far there's a hint of sadness lingering in her facial expression.

You arrive at what seemed to be, earth's version of supermarket. Well, it looks promising. Let's see what Earth's market has for you.

You step inside, and the sheer variety of products overwhelms you for a moment. Rows upon rows of shelves stacked with different foods, all neatly arranged. The scent of freshly baked bread drifts from a corner, while the vibrant colors of fresh produce catch your attention. It's nothing like the high-tech, pristine markets of Babylonia—but there's something... charming about it.

Konan grabs a cart, her movements graceful as ever. "Let's make this quick," she says, already scanning the aisles with a practiced eye.

You, on the other hand, are completely distracted. Your gaze flits over the items, your curiosity piqued by the absurd variety of snacks, drinks, and what looks like hundreds of different flavors of instant noodles. You glance at Konan, who seems focused on her task, and then at the shelves.

...Maybe you should sneak in a little something for yourself.

You inspect the list given by Pain, taking note of the numerous items it contains. Basic cooking ingredients, cleaning products, and various nail polish colors catch your eye. 5x black nail polish, 2x red nail polish— green, pink, purple. Who— and what is this for? Ignoring certain questionable items mentioned on the list, you continue scanning the document and come across "viagra." Confused, you skip over that item. The list goes on, including plates, slippers, and other miscellaneous items.— Holy shit, this is a long list?!?! and Pain sent the only two women in the Akatsuki to carry out this tasks??

You squint at the list, then at Konan, who seems completely unbothered. "Are we really supposed to carry all of this ourselves?" You gesture at the absurdly long list, flipping it over just to make sure there's no second page.

Konan hums thoughtfully, scanning the shelves with a neutral expression. "Pain trusts me to handle these tasks efficiently."

You blink at her. "Okay, but me? He trusts me? After I tried to scam my way out of a bill yesterday?"

She finally looks at you, one perfectly shaped eyebrow raised. "I suppose he thinks you could use the responsibility."

You scoff, crossing your arms. "Or maybe he's just lazy."

Konan doesn't argue, which makes you wonder if she actually agrees. Instead, she picks up a pack of black nail polish and places it in the cart.

You glance back at the list, still bewildered by some of the items. "...Do I even want to know who needs this much nail polish? Or why anyone in the organisation needs Viagra?"

Konan doesn't even flinch. "You do not."

Fair enough.

"By the way, if you don't mind me asking, what's your relationship with our uhm— leader Pain... Is he like your boyfriend? You guys seemed really close"

Konan pauses mid-step, her grip on the cart's handle tightening just slightly. If you weren't observing her so closely, you might've missed the shift in her expression—subtle, but definitely there.

"No," she says simply, placing a bottle of red nail polish into the cart.

You tilt your head, unconvinced. "Oh? You sure? Because you guys have that 'old married couple' energy."

Konan exhales softly, as if debating whether to entertain your nosiness. "We've known each other since childhood," she finally says. "Nagato, Yahiko, and I... We grew up together."

Ah. You notice she uses Pain's real name. You store that information for later.

Konan exhales through her nose, turning her attention back to the shelves. "It's complicated," she finally admits.

You blink. That's a much more interesting answer than a simple "no."

"Oooh?" You lean in slightly, intrigued. "Complicated how?"

She doesn't answer immediately. Instead, she picks up a bottle of dish soap, examining the label like it holds the secret to avoiding this conversation. But eventually, she speaks.

"I loved Yahiko," she says, voice quiet. "We all did, in our own way. But after he died... Nagato—Pain—took on his dream. His body."

You frown, unsure if you're following. "You mean... like metaphorically?"

Konan finally looks at you, and the weight of her stare tells you that, no, it is not metaphorical.

You stare at her. Then, you glance at the list in your hands like it might offer some divine explanation for whatever the hell she just implied.

"Wait. Hold on," you say slowly. "Are you telling me that Pain is... literally Yahiko's body?"

She doesn't confirm it outright, but her lack of denial is enough.

You blink, processing. "That's... wow. That's kind of..." You trail off, unsure how to phrase it delicately.

Konan doesn't look offended, but there's something unreadable in her expression. A quiet, distant sorrow. "It's painful," she admits. "To see him every day, but not have him truly be there."

You stare at her, seeing the exhaustion in her eyes—the kind that doesn't come from lack of sleep, but from years of carrying something unbearably heavy.

"...Shit," you mutter. "That's rough, buddy."

She huffs a small, almost amused breath. "It is."

Konan doesn't really know why she's telling you all of this. Perhaps, years of being surrounded by a bunch of psychotic bastards and years of isolation and suppression within the Akatsuki have taken a toll on her emotions. She doesn't allow herself to have friends or a trusted confidante, let alone girlfriends and has likely never had someone to confide in or seek comfort from. She just met you— hell, you're weird and suspicious as hell. But, maybe today was the day that she broke down. She feels guilty about her interactions with Pain, particularly within the privacy of her room, and it has happened repeatedly over the years.

You fall into step beside her again, the mood heavier now. You're tempted to ask more—tempted to dig deeper into the complicated mess of emotions she must be feeling. But you don't. Instead, you pluck a random bottle of nail polish from the shelf and hold it up.

"So... five bottles of black nail polish, huh?" you say, opting for levity. "Who in the Akatsuki is hoarding all the goth supplies?"

Konan hums, following your lead. "Hidan keeps stealing Kakuzu's, so now we have to stockpile."

You snort. "Of course he does."

Konan pauses, seemingly contemplating her actions. In a low, hesitant voice, she asks, "Do you think, what I'm doing is wrong? Immoral? sometimes I just pretend that Pain is Yahiko for the sake of my.... mental health"

You stop in your tracks, processing the weight of her words. What the hell kind of relationship is this? She's fucking with her boyfriend's dead body that is being controlled by said boyfriend's bestfriend. You're not judging though, you think, you'd probably do the same if you were in her situation— if you were a human, that is.

That kind of intense emotions and loyalty, is a foreign concept for your people. Not saying the possibility of that is zero, just very low.

Well, you now see Pain in a new light. Maybe, humans are batshit insane as well.

"And Pain sometimes, pretend that he's Yahiko too so it's really complicated." Konan isn't looking at you—her gaze is somewhere far away, lost in memories. There's an uncharacteristic vulnerability in her voice, like she's voicing a thought she never intended to share.

You don't answer right away. Because honestly? You don't know what to say.

Is it wrong? Is it immoral? Maybe. But at the same time... it makes sense.

You exhale, shifting your bindle from one shoulder to the other. "I think..." you start slowly, "that grief makes people do strange things."

Konan finally looks at you, her expression unreadable.

"I mean, let's be real," you continue, waving a hand. "Your situation is beyond messed up. Seeing Yahiko's body move and talk but knowing it's not really him? That's gotta do something to your head."

She doesn't respond, but the slight tightening of her jaw tells you she's listening.

"So, do I think it's immoral?" You pause. "I don't know. Maybe. But do I blame you for it?" You shake your head. "No. If anything, I get it."

Konan blinks, and for the first time since this conversation started, she looks... relieved. Just a little. You wonder if you had suddenly becomes a necrophile's advocate. Your commandant would be so proud of you.

"...Thank you," she murmurs.

You shrug. "Hey, no judgment here. I've seen weirder coping mechanisms."

That earns you a tiny, almost imperceptible smile. It's brief—so brief you almost miss it—but it's there.

Then, just like that, she turns back to the shopping list. "We should finish up," she says, her voice steady again. "We've wasted enough time."

You grin, nudging her playfully. "Aw, come on. You're telling me that deep, emotional confession wasn't worth it?"

She rolls her eyes but doesn't push you away.

After settling the bill for the remaining items, Konan unexpectedly steers you toward another shop instead of heading straight home. This time, it appears to be a clothing store.

"Take a few that you like. My treat." The corners of her lips tugs barely. If it weren't for your sharp eyesight, you would have missed it.

Your eyes widen at the unexpected offer. You? Being treated to new clothes? It almost feels like a dream.

"Wait, really?" you ask, blinking up at her. "Are you sure you're not just saying that because you feel bad for me?"

Konan tilts her head slightly, amusement flickering in her eyes. "Maybe."

You gape at her. Did she just—was that a joke?! From Konan?!

Shaking off your shock, you break into a wide grin. "Well, I do enjoy being pitied." Without hesitation, you grab the nearest dress off the rack and hold it against yourself dramatically. "How do I look? Like a refined lady? Someone with class?"

Konan eyes the garment. It's a little too extravagant for everyday wear, but she doesn't comment. Instead, she sighs lightly. "Just pick what you actually need."

You snicker but nod, setting the dress back. This time, you actually browse properly. As much as you love your dramatic flair, you do need practical clothes.

After a while, you turn to her, holding up a couple of outfits. "What do you think? Do these scream 'mysterious, charming outsider who may or may not be from a different world'?"

Konan tries to look like she's suffering, but you can tell that's she's fighting back an amusement smile. "Just go try them on."

With a playful salute, you dash off to the fitting rooms, still buzzing from the kindness she's shown you today.

Konan ended getting something for herself as well. Well, what a successful day of shopping with bestie. Is that how human words it these days? Whatever. You're caught up on her lore, comfort her heart and went shopping with her. If she was your love interest, her progress bar would have been at 41% by now.

Konan notices the excessive amount of bags that you both ended up having to carry. Her face is strained, like she's about to pass out from sheer stress.

"Don't worry I have a solution for this," Konan cranes her jaw your way with a mix of confusion and curiosity. You shut your eyes close and snaps your fingers— The many grocery plastic bags on the floor began to levitate.

Konan's eyes widen just the slightest at the sight. The bags, previously a burden, now float effortlessly around you like obedient servants.

"You—" She stops herself, pressing her lips together. After a moment, she exhales. "Of course. I should have expected something like this."

You flash her a smug grin. "Neat, huh? You should see what else I can do."

Konan gives you a long, unreadable look. Then, she simply turns and starts walking. "Let's go before you decide to show off any further."

You chuckle, falling into step beside her as the floating bags follow. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is."

You gasp in mock offense. "Konan! After everything we've been through? The heartfelt conversations? The bonding? The shopping spree?"

She doesn't reply, but you swear you see the tiniest, almost imperceptible quirk of her lips. That's good enough for you.

As you began your walk home, Konan decides to break the silence again. Reminiscing about an old story of her previous shopping trip with Pain. She explains how she forced him and the other five of his bodies to carry all of the shopping bags on those occasions.

You burst into laughter, nearly losing focus on your floating bags. "Wait, wait—so you're telling me you made all six of them carry the groceries? Like, a Pain convoy?"

Konan hums in amusement, nodding. "Yes. One carried the heavier items, another handled the delicate produce, and the rest distributed the load evenly. It was... efficient."

You clutch your stomach, wheezing. "Efficient?! That's hilarious! Imagine some random civilian seeing this scary, godlike figure—six of him—marching down the street with shopping bags!"

Konan looks away, but you catch the slight shake of her shoulders. She's totally trying not to laugh. "It was practical," she insists, though her tone is softer than before.

You wipe a fake tear. "I can't believe I missed that. I would have paid good money to witness the legendary Pain doing household chores."

She exhales, shaking her head. "You would have annoyed him."

"Obviously. That's the fun part."

Konan finally glances at you, eyes glinting with something close to fondness. "You're ridiculous."

"Thank you," you say proudly.

Inside the Akatsuki hideout, you gently place all the bags on the kitchen's floor while Konan watch you work your magic. She thinks you have quite the convenient ability/Kekkei Genkai— as some calls it.

You follow Konan's instructions carefully, placing the groceries and various supplies in their designated spots. Though you don't necessarily need to be told where things go, you humor her by listening. After all, you don't mind learning more about how this place operates.

Unexpectedly, the most chaotic duo makes their entrance into the kitchen—Hidan, as shirtless as ever, with Kakuzu trailing behind him. You make a conscious effort not to frown at the sight.

Hidan leans against the doorway, arms crossed, his usual smug grin plastered on his face. "Well, well, well. Look who's finally being useful."

"You're just mad I didn't bring you anything."

He scoffs. "Like hell I'd want anything from a heathen like you." Is he diagnosed with Bipolar disorder too?

Behind him, Kakuzu exhales sharply, already looking exhausted. "Did you at least buy what was on the list?" His gaze flickers to some of grocery bags on the floor.

"Yes, Dad," you reply dryly. "Everything was accounted for, including the five bottles of dark green nail polish. Who the hell even ordered that?"

Hidan smirks, wiggling his fingers. "That'd be me."

You stare. "Why do you need five?"

"Because I go through them fast." He shrugs. "Unlike you, I actually care about looking good."

Kakuzu mutters, "You waste too much money on useless things."

"Oh, shut up, you stingy bastard."

You sigh, rubbing your temples. This whole organization is full of characters, but somehow, you're not even surprised anymore. "Right. Well, I hope you two enjoy your little lover's quarrel. Konan and I have better things to do."

Konan glances at you, amused but silent. She's clearly entertained, even if she won't openly admit it.

"Alright, did you bitches fuck on your trip to the store or what?" Hidan raise one eyebrow and you genuinely can't tell if hes being serious or he's just being a dick.

You blink at him, then slowly turn to Konan. "Did we?"

Konan exhales through her nose, closing her eyes as if she's gathering every ounce of patience she has left. "No, Hidan."

Hidan clicks his tongue. "Damn. Would've been hot."

You give him the most disgusted look you can muster. "You need God."

"I have a god," he shoots back with a smirk, holding his chained necklace with a weird, satanic symbol on it. He makes a big show of kissing the metal chain.

"Well, he needs to come get you, then."

Kakuzu lets out a chuckle, possibly finding you quite humorous.

You beam at him, feeling victorious. "See? Kakuzu gets it."

Hidan scoffs, crossing his arms. "Oh, please. He's laughing at you, not with you."

You shrug. "Doesn't matter. A laugh is a laugh."

Konan, who has been silently putting away groceries, finally turns to them. "If you two aren't here to help, then leave."

Kakuzu, ever the opportunist, gestures to the bags. "Depends. Did you buy anything valuable?"

You grab the nearest loaf of bread and hold it up like an offering. "This is pretty valuable. It sustains life."

Kakuzu gives you a deadpan look. "Not that kind of valuable."

You scrunches your eyebrows at him in an ugly manner before gasping in shocked. Hands covering over your lips in a scandalous manner "Don't tell me, you ordered those viagra?!"

Kakuzu crosses his arms, scowling. "Tch. Don't be ridiculous. I have no need for such useless drugs."

You tilt your head, unimpressed. "Oh? Then who was it for?"

Without hesitation, Kakuzu jerks his thumb toward Hidan. "Him."

"WHAT?" Hidan shouts, looking personally offended. "The fuck would I need that for? I'm immortal! My stamina is literally infinite!"

Kakuzu shrugs. "Then maybe it was Deidara."

"OH, YOU SON OF A—" Hidan looks ready to launch himself at Kakuzu, while you double over laughing. Immortal duo huh? They'd make a good clown duo.

Speaking of Deidara, a wicked sense of mischief sparks within you. "By the way, just a question," you pause, a playful smile tugging at your lips, laughter still lingering in your voice. "Is Deidara a virgin?"

Hidan lets out an obnoxious snort. "Pfft— oh, definitely."

Kakuzu, ever the stoic one, doesn't even hesitate. "Without a doubt."

Konan sighs like she's regretting every life decision that led her here. "Why are we even discussing this?"

You beam at them, clearly enjoying yourself. "Oh, no reason. Just curious."

Hidan cackles, slapping the counter. "Man probably treats sex like art. All dramatic 'n shit." He suddenly puts on an exaggerated Deidara voice:“'I'll make you have an EXPLOSION, un!!'"

Kakuzu shakes his head. "I don't think he's ever gotten that far."

Konan couldn't stop herself from snorting at that statement. Ugh, damn you Hidan.

You pretend to gasp, covering your mouth. "Poor baby. Maybe someone should help him."

Hidan gives you a look. "You volunteering?"

"Maybe." You wink. "It's just that, I was curious about his hand-mouths you know, so I tried holding his hand, and he got too flustered and kick me out of his room! I thought it was harmless..."

Hidan wheezes. "You held his hand? That's it? And he lost his shit?"

Kakuzu shakes his head. "Embarrassing."

Konan, trying to maintain some semblance of maturity, sighs. "He's young. You're probably the first person to ever pull something like that on him."

Hidan grins wickedly. "Oh, you gotta mess with him more. This is priceless."

You tap your chin thoughtfully. "Hmm... maybe I should. It's too fun watching him squirm."

Kakuzu smirks slightly. "Sasori's gonna love this."

Konan rolls her eyes. "Just don't break Deidara."

You wave a hand dismissively. "Pfft. I won't. I'll just... test his limits."

Hidan cackles. "That's the spirit."

Suddenly, Deidara's voice drifts in from the distance, his words animated as he passionately discusses art. There's only one person he could be talking to—Sasori.

Engrossed in his conversation, he strides closer, completely unaware of your presence until he nearly stumbles upon you, standing there with a hand on your waist.

You blink at him. Once. Twice.

His words falter. His face turns pink.

You don't say anything at first. You just stare at him, letting the silence stretch as Deidara stands there, visibly struggling with some internal battle. His conversation with Sasori comes to a screeching halt.

Then, you smile. A slow, knowing, mischievous smile.

"Ah, Deidara~," you purr, tilting your head just enough to make him sweat. "We were just talking about you."

His eye twitches. "What—why? What about me, hm?"

Hidan snickers behind you. "Nothin' much. Just how you kicked this one out for holding your hand."

Deidara's face practically erupts into red. "You told them?!"

You bat your eyelashes innocently. "What? It was a significant event in my day! And, well..." You step forward just a little, watching as he stiffens. "You were so cute about it."

"Something lunatic is about to happen here and I have no time to entertain this shenanigans. You're on your own here, Deidara." Without waiting for a reply, Sasori starts walking back to the directions he came from.

Deidara scowls. "What?! Danna— You can't just abandon me here to fend for myself—" He whips his head at the redhead's retreating form. He then realises the situation he's in. He's inside your web. You're dangerous, he knows this. He points an accusatory finger at you, stepping back as if you're some kind of dangerous predator. "Quit messin' with me already, un!"

You pout dramatically. "Aww, but you make it so easy."

Konan sighs, but there's an amused glint in her eye. Kakuzu just shakes his head. Hidan? Hidan is thriving.

Then, you slap his back, chuckling. "Im just kidding! I just finished grocery shopping, hehe" You flash him an innocent smile.

Deidara still looks skeptical, rubbing the spot where you slapped his back like he expects it to burn. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, un," he mutters, eyeing you like you might try something again at any moment.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"I don't believe you," he deadpans.

Hidan throws an arm around Deidara's shoulders, grin wicked. "That's 'cause she's been talkin' about you the whole time, blondie."

"Hidan!!"

You snicker as Deidara shoves him off, his face still way too pink for someone trying to act mad. "Well, if you must know," you say, stretching dramatically, "Konan and I went to the store and bonded. Total besties now." You toss a wink at Konan, who only shakes her head but doesn't deny it.

Deidara crosses his arms. "Right. And?"

"And I got a ton of new clothes." You flick your robe for emphasis. "Now I won't have to wear the same dress every day like some tragic peasant."

Deidara eyes you for a second, then huffs. "...Well, whatever. At least you're not a total lost cause, un."

"Oh? Was that a compliment?"

Deidara glares. "No."

You just laugh. He's so easy. "By the way, can someone answer me whose viagra is this? I've been trying to figure this out but," You hold them up in your hand for display.

Deidara chokes on absolutely nothing. "What the hell?!"

Hidan loses it, doubling over in laughter while Kakuzu sighs like he's so done with this conversation. Konan thinks this is all very absurd but at least it's coming from you, and that is enough to make it all tolerable.

"I already told you," Kakuzu says, crossing his arms. "It's not mine."

Hidan, still wheezing, slaps Deidara on the back. "Oi, blondie, you're lookin' a little guilty there."

Deidara whips around to glare at him, face red as a fire jutsu. "Shut the hell up, Hidan!! That's not mine, un!!"

"Ohhh? You sound awfully defensive."

"Because this is stupid!!"

Hidan wipes a tear from his eye. "Sure, sure, whatever you say, man."

Deidara looks one second away from blowing up the entire kitchen. You just laugh, tucking the box under your arm. "Guess I'll have to keep investigating, huh?"

Deidara groans. "You're insufferable, un."

But, notably, he doesn't tell you to stop.

"Hmm, maybe it's Tobi?" you wink at all of them mischievously.

Hidan nearly collapses from laughter. "Holy shit, that makes so much sense!!"

Deidara looks like he wants to die on the spot. "Are you insane?! No way in hell, un!!"

Kakuzu actually pauses to consider it. "...You know, that might be plausible."

Konan just sighs, decided that she's done with all of you. "Please put that away. We're in the kitchen."

You ignore her, still grinning. "I mean, think about it! Tobi's always so energetic. Maybe he's overcompensating for something."

Deidara slams his hands on the table. "Don't ever say those words again, un!!"

Hidan is crying from laughing too hard. "Bro—BRO, imagine if it's actually his!!"

"I refuse to imagine that, un!!"

"Hmm, I would bet my money but I doubt (Y/N) has any," The immortal man scoff in amusement. You ignore this comment.

You tap your chin in mock thought. "Guess I'll just have to ask him myself, huh?"

Deidara physically recoils. "No!!"

"Do you think I should volunteer and try to find out if it's Tobi?"

Hidan wheezes from laughter, clutching his stomach. "Oh my god, you're a demon—"

Deidara physically lunges at you, grabbing your shoulders with a wild look in his eyes. "Do not do that, un!!"

Kakuzu just shakes his head, muttering, "Why am I even witnessing this conversation?"

Konan rubs her temples. "Why are we still talking about this?"

But you just smile mischievously. "Come on, Deidara~ What's the worst that could happen?"

His grip on you tightens. "I swear to god, if you ask him—if you even insinuate it— I will blow you up, un!!"

Hidan is crying again. "Dude, this is gold. I'm so glad I exist."

As If being summoned, Tobi skips to the group from a far "What is everyone talking about? seems fun! Count me in"