The Hazard Hotel

“What’s in it for me?” Adam simply asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You could pitch your idea to them.” Lucifer said and like a switch was flipped in Adam’s brain he smirked and then motioned for Lute to come over. “I am going to a meeting with Heaven!” He said with excitement and before Lute could even get a word in, music magically filled the air.

“I can do this, somehow I know it
I'll get Heaven behind my plans” Adam started singing suddenly and started moving around his hotel. Knowing if he doesn’t go now, Lute will stop him or go with him. And neither was a real good option, the best for him is to go alone and talk with Miss ex-princess of hell, himself.

“Adam, hold the fuck up!” Lute yelled after her partner, he seemed to decide on something and him doing that never ended good for them. She has experienced it first hand way too many times.

“There's just no way I could blow it
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance” Adam continued singing looking at the devil himself with a hopeful look as he moved more out of the room.

“It's just a fucking meeting, with the brat” Lute got a glare from the king of hell. “ I mean Lucifer’s weaker clone” She corrected with a smirk as Lucifer’s face got redder. Yeah, Lute did not like Charlie who created visitation day and now winners acted like it was a fucking zoo visit and they could watch the animals ( so the seldom sinners of hell) did not help their situation.

“To change their minds and touch their hearts
Or whatever angels have” He moved and hugged Molly then twirled her into Peter's arms with a smirk. Lute felt like she should be offended, she is an angel afterall. Fine, she fell, however from birth she was counted as one.

“This could be bad” Both Lute and Lucifer sang at the same time, knowing Adam’s idea and the one in charge of the meeting days. Neither would be walking out with their mind state or mood intact. Or someone would die, but they would rather not think about it.

“Cheer up, Luttie, Luci
This could be swell
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell” He moved back for a quick group hug and took up his guitar before Lute could tell him no.

“Okay, but just don't sing with them” Lute warned, knowing that it would just make everything worse for the meager population of their home, hell. Plus also knowing that one musical from the angels would be unavoidable.

“That cock is halfway down the street” Molly said, looking out the door, watching Adam shake his ass down the deserted streets of the pentagram city. It was usually empty at this hour, only a few sinners inhabited it, most of the population were hell’s native species, however they choose to live in the lower rings, rather than to be next to the emptiness, then yearly a petting zoo for the sinners.

“Is he-?” Lute asked, not ever trying to finish it. Knowing with the quick leave he must have taken his special guitar. It was gifted to him by Lucifer himself and was white with red accents. It had snakes and apples carved in it all around and looked particularly perfect for him that day.

“Oh, he's dancin'” Molly said with a smirk as she took out a cigarette and lit it up. Watching the shitshow of the day was always fun for her, like seeing Antony on visitation day and trying to get him to join the family business they have been running with Mom down here. Sex always sells. And he would be a star if he came down to them to live here.

“Ugh, no” Lute groaned and Molly’s day just got better seeing her suffer, now if she could make that blonde hottie, who is working the bar part-time, fall for her, everything would be perfect.

“There's a cold, freezing feeling that wafts through the air
Every street so empty, it's hard not to stare
It's a realm so unappealing, it beats anywhere
If you don't mind the smell
It's a fucked up day in Hell

“Hi, Emily, Sera!” Adam yelled at the first two figures he saw in miles. The weapons Overlord, Sera. A beautiful, but deadly sinner, who was tall like the Seraphim, Carmilla Carmine however Sera had more of a demonic charm. Her dark blue accented clothes just made her pretty white hair pop out more. Same with her oh so kind but deadly daughter, Emily. Who sometimes reminded Adam of Charlie, but that was just him. Even Lucifer told him that they were not alike and then started explaining he never cheated on Lilith. What was that about? He thought as he got closer to the pair.

“Hi, Adam!” Emily smiled at him. Today she wore shorts and a shirt saying’ hell is forever’ awh, it was Adam's concert shirt he even signed from the day he successfully had a concert in hell. What a day that was, even many imps came to see him! Plus the thing that can't be left home, the tiny angelic gun on Emily’s side. Honestly Sera was Hella paranoid but at least it made hell's outlook better to have someone with a weapon all the time out. You know, it ups the dangerous vibe they are all going for.

“Afternoon, Adam, you seem awfully upbeat ” Sera told him with a frown trying to get to know why, however Adam quickly slipped away, knowing that she would try to stop him. After all, Sera liked only sharing power with a few and not having many souls to worry about, yeah, and she was the biggest Overlord, stronger than the other two Overlords.

“Bye!” He sang and moved away from the two, only for them to follow him. No one would see anyways.

“Got any big plans today, Adam?” Emily sang with him as she followed behind. Her raven wings extended so if the need arises she can follow him no problem.

“Ah, excuse me!” He tried to leave them, only to dance right into somebody. Sera, fuck, he forgot Emily was quick, but Sera was quicker and deadlier if she wanted to be.

“ Are you trying to deal with heaven again?” Sera doesn't sing, everyone knows that, however Adam could only smirk so her normally said question. The other part of hell being deserted was that everyone knew everything about the other, because there was nothing else to do. So he and everyone else knew way too much about each and every resident.

“I'm not telling that!” Adam replied with cheek and Sera rolled her eyes but stood with him for the first time and then joined into the next line.

“Another empty day in Hell” The three sang together as Adam didn’t stop in shock at hearing her sing, no, he stole a motorcycle left by someone on the street.

“If I can show them the dream I've dreamed
That any soul can change” Adam sang as he tried to jumpstart it with its wires. Sera and Emily could be seen in the background watching him do the deed. It was normal for him, plus they all suspected Lucifer buying them so he could have fun with ‘ stealing them’. It is an amusing sight to see, for sure.

“Those angels' minds are hard to change” Lute sang from her little nest connected to the Hazard Hotel. She still remembered the day she told her boss back at the time, that she wanted to go and do some shit in hell, because sinners deserved it for arriving there. Her arm has never been the same after that. The angels did not like doing something like this, however if an enforcer turns bad, they need to act. But at least she left a nice parting gift to little Vaggie.

“Then they will know everyone can be corrupted
From the holy to the behaving” He sang, thinking the last word sounded good, he was moving fast.

“They're peace loving and naive!” Lute sang, having met both Charlie Morningstar and Vaggie Carmine countless times. The fact that they both now had families in heaven despite Charlie's mom and dad being stuck in hell for an eternity and Vaggie being a fucked up creature like Lute, created by Eve said a lot.

“I can hear all their stories, the rumors and jests
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste
But if I open the door and I give them a place
At my Hazard Hotel
It'll be a fuller day in Hell!” Adam sang as his motor suddenly slowed, fuck, the gas. He knew it was familiar to the one he stole yesterday, but damn, if the cables were out, it might have been the same one.

“From the porn studio, where the spiders go
To watch award-winning demon orgy shows
To the Empty Town, where they don't wear a frown
'Cause holy shit, oh my gosh, why would they?!
And I don't give a fuck that I seem crazy singing alone in the street!
'Cause I know I can spare them from Heaven's zoo parades” Adam sang as Molly’s mother can be seen taking pictures of him. Oh he will end up in their magazine or newsletter as the newest rumor. There was no other way.

“I can do this, I just know it (Adam, what the fuck are you planning again?)
I'll get Heaven behind my plans
There's just no way I could blow it (“There is actually a lot of ways to do it be careful” Sera sang as she and Emily touched down behind him, having followed him for the drama. )
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance to change their minds”

“And find me some friends!” Emily sang with a smile as Sera hugged her while the other Overlord finally came close and offered him a smile.

“Of course I'll, I'm just gonna
Fulfill my destiny! “ He answered as he smiled at the three.

“ You're the best Adam” Emily stroked his ego, but she just wanted someone new to hang out with. Sera and Molly were fun, but she wanted to meet new people.

“I can already tell
Today is gonna be a fuckin' awesome day in Hell!” He sang with confidence as he opened the doors of the heaven embassy and stepped in.

“Hello?” He questioned and heard the echo of his voice he smirked and then yelled, “ Fuckity fuck fuck fuck heaven!” He yelled while walking forward to the podium, pushing the bell on it way too many times and then got promptly scared shitless when a scroll appeared out of thin air in front of him. “Fuck you all.” Adam muttered and then signed the paper with a crude middle finger showing a tiny version of him. The scroll was then gone with golden sparks. “Huh, not so bright are you?” Adam said with a smirk as he stepped into a side room, which was dark. Then a light was switched on and he came face to face with Lucifer’s brat and her girlfriend or wife or whatever.

Charlie Morningstar, the Mini, okay enlarged female clone of Lucifer. She was wearing a mainly white dress, with pinks all around in its patterns, in the shape of tiny apples. Her golden hair was held together by tiny apple shapes in her hair ties. Her hair was also fluffy and free looking. The apple symbolism followed her to heaven it seems. Then he looked at Vaggie and damn, she was hot, but Lute was hotter. The girl was wearing the outfit they usually wore for visitation day. The silver armour with blue cloths just hanging on its sides out from under. Her gray hair was long and held together by a blue bow. And in addition she was wearing an eyepatch with the symbols of the seraphim, the white x was unmistakable. It is amazing that Lute’s parting gift stuck around her that strongly. He was proud of his woman. Must have hollowed out that eye for good. “Sup’” Adam said, trying to look like he wasn’t checking the two out. He was not Molly to do that.

“Uh, hi, who are you supposed to be? There must be a mistake, I am supposed to meet with D-Lucifer.” Charlie spoke up, her tiny fangs showing in her mouth, but still looking regal and angelic, with three wings opened up behind her. Lucifer sometimes drunkenly yelled about breaking them off, because they were a part of the reason why heaven took her up there. As Charlie grew up she acted so ‘good’ that she suddenly evolved her third pair of usable wings out and then, one morning, Lucifer found her missing. A message was sent by heaven that his offspring would step up in his place and then nothing from her directly. Even in these meetings, according to Lilith, who usually went in place of the king, their little girl acted like a stranger towards her. So there was a reason why the thrust these meetings upon someone else’s shoulders if they could.

“They sent me, in their place, babe. I am Adam, the big dick.” He smirked at their grossed out faces.

“Ew, are you the first man?” Charlie said and then took a deep breath. They never directly met, but both knew about one another. “ I mean, it is nice to finally meet you, you seem more cultured than the others my D- Lucifer had sent in his place.” Charlie said with friendliness, slipping up on the word Lucifer, again.

“Yeah, he seems way better than the christmas tree demon, wanting to sell robot jesters to heaven or the pair who showed up straight up drunk with a clown imp and a hellhound and tried to make a party with us.” Vaggie said with a serious face, looking at her beautiful wife. She could see the golden ring she had put outside of her glove. Vaggie’s own was around her neck currently because of the visitation day armor her Mother forced her into, however it was still there. Making Vaggie feel the luckiest visitation day officer all over again.

“So, uhm- you meet Mammon, Ozzie and Bee?” Adam asked, he was goddamn curious of who had Lucifer sent in his place just to avoid seeing his little girl. Adam could understand why, she looked so different from the blond yellow and red eyed demon, whose paintings they had at the Hotel too. There the kid looked like a proper demon, who would one day lead Hell’s Kingdom or at least Pride, by herself.

“Yeah, those were them.” Charlie said in an unamused tone. “They are my uncles and my aunt, but still, they were way over the line.” She added, confirming it to Adam that she in fact remembered the fact that she was born here and they are her family.

“No, they weren’t? They were trying to connect to you in their own way.” Adam seriously said. He knew the sins still looked at Charlie as a family member and this must have been their idea on how to just do it.

“Right, so I am glad they sent someone relatively normal here, I am Charlotte, as you may already know, and you are Adam, the first man, the corrupt one.” Charlie Morningstar just fucking went there, however Adam took a long breath in slowly, he needed to keep his cool, he couldn’t lose it, not against Lucifer’s little brat. If he does it, he might end up dead, either from her or from her father later on. He might be better off offing himself before the latter would do it.

“It is really nice to meet you in person too.” He answered and then started holding out his hand, for a handshake, he knew about the hologram technology Heaven had. If they were using it, he wanted to feel the weirdness of it. It is said that it is a cool and fun~ feeling to feel.

“It is nice to meet you too.” Charlie smiled and to Adam surprise actually took his hand and shook it. They were there in person, but then, why did she not go and see her parents? Doesn’t she miss them? Charlie let go of his hand and turned seriously towards Vaggie. “Shall we start? We got a lot to get through and we both have to arrive back in Heaven soon.” Adam nodded and tried not to look too eager as he opened his mouth to start.

“So-” He started, however Charlotte fucking Morningstar cut him off.

“First things first, this year's visitation day was not as effective as the previous one’s” Yeah, because almost everyone hid? Who the hell wants to be stared at by winners? He opened his mouth, but couldn’t even cut in, as she continued to talk. “So we were thinking about going over the analytics, so we can find the solution together? Doesn’t that sound wonderful?” If Emily were here, he would ask her to make friends with Charlie, so she wouldn’t even start this conversation. Emily would make sure of it. But for now, hours of suffering for him, yaay.
Meanwhile he suffered, Lute suffered too, not in the same way as he did, but she still suffered.