Hell is an Empty space to be filled
“Heaven, the city hidden behind the golden gates, the city, where all those who live their life faithful to god get. Where everything is pinned by rules, ruled by the heavenly beings, after God had left them to their own devices. The golden city, where even Lucifer matured to stay the silly little guy we all know and love- Fuck Lucifer, you are biased.” The narrator commented then got back to reading, maybe turning way too many pages of the book, before continuing to read it. “The city was the pure light, where the angels lived happily. The city, which took care of its own. Except after the incident, when everything was divided, when Lucifer got the naive Eve, with his hottie wife Lilith to try the apple and they got Adam to try it too.” The narrator sighed and then suddenly said, deciding to not to read Lucifer’s biased version he said out loud. “That is me, my wife, Eve got forgiveness, however for my sin, Heaven said fuck you first man and made me stuck down here to ROT almost alone, because people rarely sin here now!” Adam complained, his yellow and red eyes narrowing as he frowned with a dramatic flare. Even his tail helped the dramatic outlook of his statements. “And the fucking visitation day is the WORST!” He yelled out, like a stubborn child.
“Good to see you in an upbeat mood, sir.” Lute, his right hand walked in, her two horned headband missing at that moment and her black and white wings out. She was an angel, however, she was somehow more bloodthirsty compared to the others, that is why she was here in hell by his side, he found her after visitation day, with a broken arm and someone else’s blood all over her. Adam fell head over heels for her, however she wanted to keep her status as an angel secret, which was DUMB, like she would be such a good marketing for his Hazard Hotel that he got an angel to sin.
“Of course I am upbeat, I just saw one of my exes and I’m not talking about miss blondie red horns, no-no, the brownie with a flare to annoy me came.” Adam answered as he looked at Lute. “ It was so hard to avoid the bitch, after all these years, she still acts like she should be my wife, when I even told her fifty years ago that I have somebody.” He added and Lute rolled her eyes.
“Yeah and then drunkenly admitted the fib to her five minutes later.” Lute answered with a serious voice and then Adam flashed her a dopey smile.
“But, I got you now, I foresaw it!” He proudly said and Lute actually had the audacity to slap him.
“No, you did not, you would still be alone, if it wasn’t for me thinking that heaven was boring.” Lute answered and the two smiled at each other. Just like the day they fell in love with each other, they fell all over again for each other.
“So, wanna know what I got from bigshot Lucifer for leading Eve to her and Lilith with my tracks so they can ask about their brat?” Adam inquired and Lute just grinned.
“I love how you use Lucifer the king of hell for your own gain, however, I would rather see it as a surprise.” Lute answered and Adam suddenly took off his pants to show off his glowing led lighted boxers which had ducks all around it, with a ‘too late bitch’ yelled at Lute’s face. “You really are mature” she rolled her eyes again, but looked at the ass of the guy with adoration. “So, really anything not Led Boxer came out of your talk?” She inquired again, knowing it must not be just one thing.
“Kinda, he could interrogate Eve, about his brat, turns out she has risen to be more than the one managing the visits, but kept her status as the coordinator, so everything would go smoothly every year. Plus Charlie married the Seraphim’s adopted brat, Vaggie. So that is it, next time he needs to meet with her, he would know about these things.” Adam spoke and Lute nodded along. Lute had met both at some point in heaven before her fall.
“Speaking of which, when is his next meeting?” Lute questioned back, changing the subject from little miss perfect and her knight.
“That is a good question, maybe I could have gotten him to speak about our idea to her damn…” Adam said and Lute groaned again, holding her head. “Better late than never, Danger tits!” He smirked at her as Lucifer’s war duck jumped into his arms. “That asshole created him way too cute, but I will never mind it.” He squeaked and Lute burst out laughing, that duck was cursed, when you saw it first, you would pet it until someone pulled you away. Plus you see it more attractive then it should be. She had almost seen Adam go all the way with it because of it, but that is just her nightmare material for another time. Luckily this time, she did not need to break him out of his trance, the bells signalling that the visitation day clock at the embassy restarted, 365 days until the fucked up, you sinned I will pet you meetings, yaay. But, at least, they could move down to see their Hazard residents creating chaos in their hotel hopefully. The two could only hope, their dream was a rule breaking and chaotic hell to live in, not a pristine and way too empty place where you go mad because of how empty it was…
Lute and Adam were excitedly sat down by the King of hell, his wife Lilith, Molly and a weird imp they picked out of the trash to show them something. “You have enough of the pristine and pompous people?” A voice said on the tv as they showed the imp dressed up as an angel for a second then it cut to a rock concert, which Adam had done a few weeks ago. The record showed everyone he knew just enjoying the music, hitting, kicking each other and he could see Emily taking someone, no not just anyone, Molly in a chokehold. “ Well we have a solution for you, our little hell awaits you, no rules, no seraphim and no free- wait that doesn’t sound good - oh yeah, ALL freedom!” The narrator spoke and then it cut to the empty ’main’ street of hell. “There is place for you here in this fucked up little paradise.” The voice promised and Adam cackled actually.
“So, what do you think?” Lucifer asked the two and both just beamed.
“It was amazing, how do we get it to heaven?” Lute said with mischief and from the looks she got NO ONE had thought of that one. FUCK.
“Back to the drawing board with us” Lucifer groaned and Lilith put her arm around him, trying to give him comfort.
“Good luck big dick and hottie if you get bored, my room is open for you.” Adam yelled after Lucifer and made a V with his fingers then stuck his tongue out at Lilith, showing off his forked tongue. Lilith really appreciated it, showing both her middle fingers in appreciation as she and her husband walked out.
“You know, you could be more civilized, Adam.” Lute said with a frown at his Adamness.
“Aaaawh, but what’s the fun in that?” Adam looked at her with his big puppy eyes, then in a moment he went serious. “What if we make Sera and Miss Spider work together to make some kind of disturbing device to show our own little commercial in heaven?” He asked and Lute suddenly looked at him weirdly.
“Why didn’t you say it before Lucifer left, sir? It is illogical to tease them to leave early when YOU HAVE AN IDEA ON WHAT TO DO!” Lute asked him then got into his face, and actually yelled the last part at him.
“Well, Danger tits, it is quite easy, I did not FUCKING think about it!” Adam yelled getting into her face too, their noses brushing together.
“Kinky~” Molly with one word reminded everyone (fine, Lute and Adam) that she was still in the room. The two jumped from each other as if they burned each other when Molly’s next words came. “Wanna have an angry threesome?” It took a great effort from both parties not to go for her neck, instead answer her normally.
“Molly, just don’t fucking start it!” The two yelled at the same time, especially, because they knew what the imp would propose. Wait, they never learned his name? Nevermind that, it is hell, there is no need for that.
“Foursome” The pair groaned and Molly perked up.
“We could totally sell that as our new commercial, just think about it, my mom would compose a sound script for it and then OH-” Molly looked like she had an idea suddenly, which was never good. “What if we call everyone together, Mom, Sera, Emily, Lucifer, Lilith, Blitz and every hellborn he knows and you two and make the BIGGEST orgy as our commercial instead?” Molly said. “Many would go for that chaos, hidden pervs are welcome to our studios to be contracted.” She added with a raised eyebrow and an unhinged smirk gracing her face.
“ Fuck no!” Even Lucifer’s voice was heard when Lute and Adam yelled out too, this idea sounded way too counterproductive to what they were wishing to do.
“Fuck YEAH! I will call up Stolas immediately!” The imp whose name is Blitz according to Molly exclaimed and ran out of the room.
“Sex sells.” Molly pointed out then groaned, knowing Stolas would come barging in, even without his powers. So, she took out her phone and dialed her mother. “Hey Mom, guess who I got to do one record with? Pfft- No, I did not corrupt Emily. I got- No, I did not offer it that way to any of our contracted, I am not that dumb- I GOT THE ARS GOETIA PRINCE - Yes Mom, the powerless for now, but still a prince.” Molly spoke and got lost in her conversation, Lute and Adam looked at one another and smiled at Molly’s and her Mom’s talk, the two were surely a force to behold.
“Will you tell Lucifer about my idea, or do I need to do it?” Adam asked Lute who shrugged at him.
“It was your idea, sir.” She said without emotion, in a way that it nerved Adam, calling him sir was not something good.
“Don’t call me that.” Adam said and then Lute smirked and now said it again, slower, in a much slutty voice.
“Why not, sir?~” She flirted and suddenly a squeal was heard in the background, they fucking forgot about Molly again, who must have cut off her call to her mother. FUCK.
“OMG you guys! I love the energy, just please one premium video? Pretty please!” Molly said as she got into their personal space getting her arms all around them and in that moment Adam himself prayed for an intervention to ANYONE.
Suddenly Adam’s phone rang out its guitar solo ringtone. Thank you, he thought as he looked down on his phone, it was Lucifer, he did say anyone. “I will be right back.” Adam said as he left the room for a bit of privacy and bumped into the caller. “Thanks man.” Adam told Lucifer.
“It was the least I could do. You know, the deal, we do it for each other when needed.” Lucifer told Adam, referring to their deal to break one another out of Molly’s or her Mother’s excited talks if needed. “Though, it wasn’t for only that.” Lucifer said and from his face Adam could almost hear his next words.
“NO” He said immediately, he did not know what Lucifer wanted, but knew who they must have concerned.
“But you didn't even hear me out. Look Adam, there will be a meeting and neither I nor Lilith feel up to seeing her, after ya know.” Lucifer explained with a frown, moving his arms, wriggling them nervously. He was referring to her ascension which afterwards she did not even communicate towards them.
“What’s in it for me?” Adam simply asked, raising an eyebrow.