Chapter 8
After their vulnerable apology to each other, the tension Aubrey felt should have subsided. She had gone back to joking around with Kathryn, who had started hanging around after filming again. The lightness of their interactions was back, yet, she still felt the heavy weight of unspoken words on her chest.
Aubrey didn’t understand what triggered their argument in the first place but the idea of talking about it made her stomach churn. There was no way that a conversation about that fight wouldn’t expose her feelings about their relationship that had been reeling in her head ever since the first day of shooting. So, she was happy to keep things light.
Fortunately, the universe took pity on her for once and made it somewhat easy to do so. Aubrey had no scenes with Kathryn for over a week after filming Agatha’s possession scenes. Although, that day of filming had only made her problem more glaring.
It made no sense really. Kathryn was painted grey, eyes and lips blackened, veins painted all along her exposed skin to make it appear translucent. She looked like a literal demon. It should’ve been easy for Aubrey to keep it together and get the work done, or so she thought.
Watching Kathryn go ape-hit during her possession scenes only made her admiration for the brunette grow exponentially. She was absolutely fearless in her craft, she gave it her all and had no problem fooling around and looking silly. It was very endearing, and Aubrey had found it difficult to keep up the distressed mood Rio was supposed to be feeling when all she wanted to do was smile.
The admiration only grew when, in between takes, Kathryn had gone out of her way to discuss the horror influences that inspired her possession and asked Aubrey what she thought. Blue eyes stared at her intently as she gave her feedback, which was mostly praise to be fair. But just having the older woman actively listening and actually caring about her opinion made Aubrey giddy.
Today she was filming the aftermath of the third trial. Rio is fully revealed as Death and she ushers Alice to the afterlife when the trial ends. She had arrived early because they would be filming the beginning of the tarot trial before her scene. Aubrey was a bit jealous that everyone would be getting to dress up as classic depictions of witches, although she knew her Lady Death outfit was going to be awesome. Nevertheless, she wanted to see what everyone looked like.
The first castmates she spotted were Joe and Patti. Joe looked like a snatched Maleficent, with a bold lip and cheekbones carved to the nines.
Aubrey let out a low whistle in his direction. “Damn Joe, watch those things! You could cut someone with those cheekbones” she hollered.
Joe was beaming at the compliment and twirled his cape with exaggerated flair. Next to him, Patti looked at his display with delight.
The Broadway legend was in a pink, poofy dress, clearly inspired by Glinda, puffed sleeves and all. A shiny silver and white crown topped off the look.
Aubrey turned her head and tilted her chin up in challenge toward Patti. “Where’s your bubble, princess?”
Never one to disappoint, the older woman cackled before spitting back, “Up your ass, Plaza.” The three of them laughed for a solid minute at the response. Aubrey was grateful she hadn’t had her makeup done yet because she was crying from laughter.
On her way to the makeup trailer she saw Sasheer, although she almost didn't recognize her at first. The usually ethereal woman was literally leaning into the costume. She was slightly hunched over as she walked, long, grey, braided hair hanging in front of her. Unibrow standing proudly on her forehead, Aubrey couldn’t help herself.
“Wow, you really let yourself go huh?” she exclaimed teasingly.
When the cloaked woman turned and realized who the comment had come from, she flashed a wolfish grin.
“Oh trust me, the team had an extremely hard time trying to make me look somewhat disheveled. It was the most work they’ve had so far,” she said after straightening up.
“I’m sure it was,” Aubrey chuckled.
While she was already quite satisfied with what she’d seen so far, there was someone she’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of before having to get ready. As Aubrey walked up to the makeup trailer, resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t be seeing the last costume yet, the door flew open before she could get her hand on the knob.
And of course, it was Kathryn standing at the entrance.
“Oh, hi hon,” she said with a ring. Aubrey was speechless, no words or thoughts were forming at the sight before her.
The lead actress was fully painted green and yet somehow looked like the most glamorous being to ever walk the earth. Her green visage was highlighted beautifully, accentuating Kathryn’s sharp features. The prosthetic jut of her nose and chin somehow looked dainty with how confidently the older woman held herself, unashamed to put the features on full display. The perfectly tailored jacket and flowy skirt accentuated the hourglass figure underneath. Purple accents peaked out throughout the outfit, drawing the eye in and revealing a new detail with each blink.
Aubrey could only stare until she realized she had let the silence stretch for far too long and she attempted to deflect from her obvious stupor. “Umm” the interjection came out shakily. “You’ve got a little something” she said while pointing at her own face indicating it was referring to its entirety.
God, that was fucking weak.
As if she could read her mind, Kathryn smirked wickedly. “Is someone green with envy?” She laughed as she turned her face to frame her profile.
“Nice” was all Aubrey could get out, trying to get her brain function back online.
“Awww come on, I was expecting a bit more of a fight than that,” Kathryn pouted.
Aubrey rocked back on her heels, trying to fight off the flush that was threatening to take over her cheeks. “Yeah well I haven’t had my coffee yet,” she lied. “I’ll find you later and have some puns at the ready.”
Kathryn cackled. An honest to god cackle. Aubrey felt her heart flutter at the sound. “Alright, I’ll let you off the hook this time. But I won’t go easy on you again.”
Aubrey didn’t doubt it but was grateful that her co-star was feeling merciful. She needed to get her heart rate down before she started sweating.
“Looking forward to it” she answered, moving to the side to allow the green-skinned woman to get by. Aubrey ignored the light lavender scent that hit her nose as she passed and made her way into the makeup trailer. She shut the door and tried to relax.
“Oh, Aubrey! You’re early,” the makeup artist said as the raven-haired woman walked in.
“Yeah, I came to check out everyone’s looks. You guys have done an amazing job.”
She settled into the chair that the makeup artist pointed her to and was handed a coffee, which she accepted with gratitude. Just as she felt like she had her bearings back the trailer door swung open with a bang.
“Oops, almost forgot!” Kathryn announced as she re-entered. She made her way next to Aubrey and leaned over her to grab the pointed hat that sat at the edge of the counter. The younger woman sat frozen as she felt the costume's fabric graze her arms and chest.
Kathryn placed the hat gracefully on her head, and tilted it to the side, completing the ensemble. She then turned from the mirror and winked at Aubrey. “Well I'm off,” she waved, and just as quickly as she had entered, she was gone.
Aubrey sucked in a huge breath, having realized she hadn’t taken one since Kathryn’s entrance.
Trying to get her mind off the emotions bubbling their way up after the brief interaction with her co-star, Aubrey decided to read a bit. She hadn’t picked up her poetry book since the last fiasco it caused but now that they were on good terms, it would surely help to distract her.
Opening up to the page she had folded over as a bookmark, she laid back and started to read.
The book was slammed shut so hard it startled the makeup artist who was preparing their tools next to her.
Nope. Absolutely not.
It would seem the universe had no mercy on her and, in fact, was only prolonging her suffering. Her eyes hadn’t gone past the first stanza of the poem and yet every word felt like an intrusion into her innermost thoughts.
She chucked the book back into her bag on the floor.
Fuck the universe.
_________
Yesterday had been a demanding one for Kathryn. Getting to embody the Wicked Witch of the West was such a dream. However, after 8 hours passed, all she wanted to do was touch her face without wiping off a pound of makeup and green sweat in the process.
Luckily, there was no full body paint today, but she still spent a good hour in hair and makeup only to come out looking dirty rather than glamorous.
She was much less covered in grime than when Agatha was initially submerged in mud. It was more like a scuffed layer of dry dirt. They were going to film Agatha leaving the tarot trial and encountering Rio again.
It was going to be the first time she got to shoot with Aubrey in over a week. She was relieved that their interactions off camera had gone back to their playful nature after they’d apologized for their spat on set.
She still didn’t even understand what had made her so upset that day and why she lashed out so harshly. Hearing the younger woman defend her character so emphatically had triggered something. But it was fine now, they were back to normal.
But, if Kathryn was being honest with herself, she still felt like she was holding back and perhaps Aubrey may have been doing so as well.
She chalked it up to nerves about their emotional scene and moved on. Yesterday was fun, Aubrey had bombarded her with green puns during lunch and Kathryn had nothing else to do while they were shooting Alice being taken by Lady Death so she decided to go watch.
There was no effect on her internal temperature or tingling in her fingertips when she saw Aubrey in costume, and if there was it was only because of the sheer amount of makeup she was wearing.
Aubrey's palened skin and darkened lips made her eyes appear larger and deeper if that was even possible. She carried herself regally as she tiptoed to her mark, hands clasped daintily in front of her. Her long black train was fanned out to fully circle her and the hooded overcoat draped elegantly over her shoulders and was topped with a thorny crown. She looked like a queen in every sense and Kathryn imagined bowing before her.
Unrelated to any of that, Kathryn realized she needed to make a phone call at that very moment and didn’t get to stay for the scene.
Casting all the thoughts of yesterday aside, she was determined to do a great job today and not allow herself to get distracted. She had allowed herself to get too immersed in a similar scene before, but that was not going to happen this time.
“Ready to make a deal with the Devil?” She heard a voice call out from behind her. She turned around and smiled when she saw Aubrey walking toward her, back in her green Road look but now wearing it with Death's thorny crown.
“That depends on how tempting you can make it,” she said as she poked her tongue into her cheek, a gesture that she picked up in the last few months.
The taller woman gasped and placed her hand on her sternum for emphasis. “How dare you doubt my capabilities!”
Kathryn rolled her eyes at her antics but was hit with an idea. “Ok then, how about we make one now?”
Aubrey raised an eyebrow at the proposal. “Go on,” she answered.
The older woman smirked as if she’d already won. “Alright. If you can guess what they used to replicate the mud on me, I’ll buy you dinner. And if you get it wrong, you buy me dinner. Deal?”
Her co-star took a moment to consider it before nodding her head in agreement. Aubrey took a few steps closer and examined the brunette from head to toe. She furrowed her eyebrows in thought before circling Kathryn, who had not expected such a thorough investigation.
“May I?” Aubrey asked. Confused as to what she was asking, Kathryn simply nodded.
Suddenly, she could feel the other woman’s breath on her neck from how close she was and she heard a sharp inhale.
Is she… smelling me?
Kathryn felt her body go rigid at the realization and had to muffle the whimper that threatened to escape her throat with a breathy laugh. “You really want to get it right huh?”
Aubrey lifted her head so they were face to face again. She grinned mischievously. “I’m almost sure, but I have one more test if you’ll let me.”
Once again feeling confused, Kathryn squinted inquisitively. Instead of answering with words, Aubrey simply took her by the wrist and lifted her hand up in between them.
As soon as the realization hit her, Kathryn gulped harshly but her head nodded on instinct. Brown eyes were fixed on blue as Aubrey pulled her palm closer and licked it right in the center. Both women were engulfed in a fog of deja vu.
Kathryn's mouth was agape, unable to look away, until Aubrey let go of her wrist. The younger woman’s cheeks looked pink when she finally spoke.
“Chocolate pudding,” she stated.
Having nearly forgotten the wager, Kathryn paused before letting out a chuckle. “Damn, you’re good. I guess I owe you dinner.”
Aubrey smiled sheepishly, “I guess you do.”
“Alright everyone, places!” The director called out.
Get your shit together woman.
With renewed vigor, Kathryn stomped her way to her mark. She was determined to keep it professional, shaking away any flustered feelings she may have at the prospect of taking her co-star to dinner.
“ACTION!”
Agatha ran from the trial, eyes darting through the trees for a figure she knew could be looming around any corner. A voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Your coven is shrinking.” Rio sang before listing off the names of those who’d met their end throughout the time on The Road thus far. “The bodies are really piling up. Just like you promised,” she stated with an accusatory glare.
The purple witch attempted to seem unaffected. “Did you doubt me?” She responded coldly.
“I did,” the green witch admitted, starting to pace back and forth. “Yeah, I thought there’d be a trick in there somewhere. And there was,” her tone almost mocking. Agatha raised an eyebrow in a poor attempt at feigning innocence.
Rio held back a chuckle before continuing her accusations. She playfully wagged a finger at the purple witch’s naughty behavior, although she was not the least bit surprised by it.
“You’re a big girl,” Agatha said with poor conviction, barely able to look her ex in the eyes. “I knew you’d figure it out eventually.”
At that, Death’s frustration boiled over. She scolded the shorter witch for interfering in matters that had far larger implications, knowing full well her warnings were falling on deaf ears.
When she had the audacity to try and protest, Rio cut her off. “I watch you Agatha,” her gaze unwavering, further proving her point. “Just as closely as you watch everyone else.”
Kathryn felt her skin burn with how sharply mahogany eyes took her in. She heard words coming from the other woman’s mouth but didn’t completely register what was being said, she was in a trance and only barely caught her cue to interrupt. She cried out an exasperated “Stop.”
The older woman felt her hands shaking, Agatha was at her most vulnerable in this moment. Forced to face the only person who truly knew her, all of her. But vulnerability penetrated the actress far beyond the words of the script.
She could see her co-star analyzing her, eyes falling to her trembling hands. A curious look crossed Aubrey’s face but was gone as she hardened her jaw to keep the scene going.
“No one in history has had special treatment like you.”
The words struck Kathryn with a familiar frustration and she felt all the air leave her lungs. “You call what you did ‘special treatment?’” Her voice came out raspier than she expected. Then, there was that look again. Was it, concern?
Pushing her questions aside she pressed on. “You gave me nothing. You took” she whispered.
Aubrey snapped reflexively. “And that’s usually your move, right?” She spat the line at her co-star who immediately averted her gaze.
The purple witch attempted to walk past but the taller entity blocked her path.
“Why do you let them believe those things about you? Hmm? About Nicky?” The anger behind Aubrey's previous words was gone, replaced with soft sorrow. It caught Kathryn off guard.
A long silence fell over them and she swallowed dryly. “Because the truth is too awful,” she confessed.
Agatha finally allowed herself to look at her ex’s face again only to find honey brown orbs observing her intently, scanning her face before finally locking eyes. There was a glint that she caught only for a moment and the tension mounted unexpectedly.
Before Kathryn could fully grasp what was happening, Aubrey closed the distance between them. She felt a hand caress the left side of her face. Then, before she could take her next breath, another hand mirrored the action on the right.
She felt like her brain was malfunctioning when she took in the image in front of her. Aubrey, who had been staring into her eyes a moment ago, had found a new focal point. The taller actress was staring at her lips
Am I dreaming?
As Kathryn questioned the reality of the situation, she felt the hands grasping her head start to pull her forward. It was as if she was moving in slow motion.
She looked at her co-star again while the brown eyes before her appeared much darker than they were, they remained honed in on her mouth.
And then, Aubrey tilted her head.
This has to be a dream.
This wasn’t planned. This wasn’t in the script. Whatever was going on went beyond the lines describing their characters. It went beyond the complicated relationship between two powerful witches. Kathryn could sense the familiar blurriness that had been creeping up on her with every scene she shared with Aubrey.
Somehow, despite feeling frozen in a dreamlike state, Kathryn was able to barely mutter a soft reminder. “Rio…” she whispered.
The pull of the hands on her head stopped. Brown eyes flashed with panic and Aubrey tore herself away.
“CUT! Great improv ladies! We really felt the tension!” The director called from behind the camera.
Kathryn couldn’t get a word out with how quickly her co-star sprinted off set, leaving her to confront her own feelings alone. She was confused but not about what had almost happened. She was confused as to why she felt disappointed that it didn’t happen.
_________
Aubrey was hyperventilating. She didn’t want to see anyone and needed to be alone somewhere before she fell into a full-blown panic attack. The closest place she found was the makeup trailer, which she knew would be empty since the team was on set to do touch ups during the scene.
The raven-haired woman barreled into the trailer and slammed the door shut harder than she’d intended to. Leaning her back against the door, she pressed her palms into her eyes.
“What the actual fuck did I just do?” she wheezed. Then she began to pace back and forth.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
The profanities on loop in her head did nothing to quell her inner turmoil. Her next idea was to try to scroll mindlessly on her phone. However, when she reached into her bag to grab the device, she was assaulted by an object that she absolutely did not want to see at the moment.
She audibly growled when she saw the abandoned poetry book in her bag as anger outweighed the panic she had walked in with. She opened it up to the page that she felt had personally attacked her. Her eyes scanned the words and she huffed in frustration. In a frenzy of emotion, Aubrey ripped out the page and crumpled it up before chucking it at her reflection in the mirror.
Fuck poetry and fuck the universe.
She hastily dropped into a chair and hunched forward, holding her face in her hands.
Embarrassment washed over her. How was she going to face her co-star again after that absolute abomination of impulsiveness that she just displayed? She was horrified. Where was her self-control?
Despite the questions that wracked her brain, there was one thing she was certain of, no matter how hard she tried not to acknowledge it. What triggered her impulse on set, what drew her body to move on auto-pilot, was undoubtedly the unspoken feelings she had toward Kathryn.
The despaired look on the shorter woman’s face while she delivered her lines as Rio physically pained her. She knew it was acting. Obviously, there was no real hurt behind it, but it felt real. She couldn’t stand to see her suffer, to see tears threaten to fall from those glorious azure eyes.
But when she felt herself reach out, it wasn’t for a reassuring pat on the shoulder, or squeeze of the arm, or even a fucking hug. No. She knew exactly what she was aiming to do. She was going to kiss Kathryn, without hesitation.
Aubrey could blame it on getting lost in the characters, on allowing her improv to go a bit too far. But really, she knew. She knew the reason that she found herself less than an inch away from kissing her co-star, her friend, was because she wanted to.
And had it not been for Kathryn’s tiny, barely audible cry reminding her of where they were, of who they were, it would have happened.
_________
When Aubrey stormed off set, the director called out to take 20 to have everything set up for the next part of the scene: Agatha making her deal with Death.
Kathryn was still so confused about what had happened. She didn't understand what Aubrey had been thinking.
Was I imagining things?
She swore that the younger woman was about to kiss her. Could she have willed herself to believe it was actually happening when it wasn't? But then why did Aubrey run?
Each question only left her with more questions. She was anxious that maybe she had done something to upset her co-star so she decided to address it so she could apologize.
When the younger actress finally got back to set, she took action. “Aubrey… Is everything OK?” When she got closer to her co-star, she noticed she looked different than she had 20 minutes ago. She looked rough, her eyes looked darker, her makeup slightly worn.
“Of course!” Aubrey said, a bit too overenthusiastic. “Is everything OK with you? Sorry about what happened earlier, I really got lost in the scene for a minute there. Should've had the intimacy co-ordinator on stand by.” She laughed half-heartedly.
Kathryn could feel that her words weren't genuine, but she didn't want to overstep, especially not on set. So she offered a friendly smile and gave her co-star’s shoulder a squeeze. “Alright, but if you need to talk, I'm here to listen,” she said, trying to be reassuring.
Aubrey's eyes widened but she said nothing. She simply nodded and walked off to her mark without another word.
________
They definitely needed to talk. She should definitely talk to Kathryn about the whirlwind of emotions raging inside her, but instead Aubrey went to stand on her mark.
Get it over with and you can freak out later.
“ACTION!”
Aubrey couldn’t help but feel a bit less pressure now that she was sitting farther from her co-star, the two women perched on either side of the Road that ran between them.
Aubrey locked in, reciting her lines while looking at Kathryn, though avoiding direct eye contact. She was almost looking past her, just getting the words out about Billy and how he was an abomination. Agatha realized he needed to give himself up for Rio to restore the sacred balance.
It was good, Aubrey was in it now, she was The Green Witch. Whatever inner struggle she was having for the woman in front of her was fictional.
Of course, the purple witch saw an opportunity. “I can get him to the finish line and deliver him to you” she offered.
Lady Death stood up, looking suspiciously at her ex. “In exchange for?” she asked, curious about the motive.
Agatha stood up next, she looked at the floor, contemplating her plan. Aubrey watched closely, as her co-star placed a slender finger to her lips while thinking. And just when she was feeling steady, like everything was going well, silvery blue eyes met hers.
“If I deliver Billy” the purple witch said sternly, “you let me go.”
There was a long pause. Too long. Unintentionally long as Aubrey tried to get her soul to return to her body.
Finally, she spoke. “You will eventually die, Agatha.” She delivered the words sarcastically in an attempt to hide the panic that was threatening to take over.
“But I want you to stop pursuing me. I want you to stop making my life hell.”
She’s talking about Rio. Agatha is talking about Rio.
“And when I die a long, long, long, long, long time from now”
She is talking about Death. Agatha is talking about Lady Death.
“I don’t wanna see your face.”
She’s talking about me. Kathryn is talking about me.
All emotion drained from her face. She took in the sight of the older woman in front of her, eyes stern, jaw clenched. She was conveying certainty.
“Okay,” Aubrey murmured. At that, she thought she saw a hint of regret in the purple witch, her mouth falling slightly open as if to say something. She chose to ignore it and instead turned around and made her way to the cloth backdrop, slicing it with her prop knife like she was supposed to. In a moment of weakness, she looked back, the beautifully sharp gaze was still on her. She walked through the gash.
“CUT!”
Aubrey kept walking. She didn’t turn back this time.
________
Kathryn was utterly perplexed. She couldn’t understand how Aubrey kept running so hot and cold. Just when she thought everything was ok between them, a curveball was thrown.
She decided they had to confront whatever was going on. It made her scared to think about it but it was necessary at this point. She didn’t want to lose her friend over a fictional relationship. That was the problem, it had to be.
On her way to the makeup trailer where she would have the remnants of chocolate pudding scrubbed off her face and body, she contemplated what to do. She arrived before the crew did.
Pulling out her phone, she started to draft a text to Aubrey.
As she took a seat, she noticed a half crumpled piece of paper sitting on the counter. Usually, she'd have thought nothing of it but it looked like the page of a book with the printed words crushed.
She unfolded the ball of paper, flattening it as much as possible before reading it: a poem by Carol Ann Duffy.
Kathryn couldn't believe what she was reading. The words slithered off the page and straight into her psyche. It was like someone had read her diary…
And then it hit her. She texted Aubrey.
We really need to talk. Can I get you that dinner I owe you tomorrow?