The Fallen Miracle

It has been a whole fucking week. A whole week since I started getting these strange ass dreams.

After the third dream, I decided to record what I know about them in a notebook, listing every single detail I could remember.

Some of them were tame (Like scratching my knee and getting healed by an arepa for some reason. It was nice along with the people there. Just like the dream where I spent time with this little kid in some nursery. My heart warmed at the thought of him) and some dreams were terrible like the first dream (Like the one where this old hag was shouting at me that it was my fault… I still felt my chest aching from that one). Dream there, and a dream here.

And after looking through these notes, I came to one conclusion to explain what was happening. Just one.

These… weren’t just dreams…. They were freakin memories. Memories that I have been repressed from my mind ever since I died. I was born on earth.

I… don’t know what to make of this.

I felt… happy? Relieved? Worried? Confused? I guess… confused would be more accurate, I guess? I mean, I had a whole other life. A life I can’t remember?

Did my family love me? Are they missing me? Are they doing okay? I guess from the bits, I guess some of them do love me. Do they know where I am? Are they looking for me?

“So…” Charlie’s voice took me out of my swiveling thoughts, “You’re saying that the dreams you encountered are from your old life on earth?”

I nodded, looking down in deep thought, “That seems to be about right, I guess.”

Charlie looked through some of my notes again, her expression looking as if something more was going on, “But why? Why were your memories gone until now? What purpose would…” a pause, a realization dawning on her, “Do you think it had something to do with you being an exorcist? Do you think Adam has something to do with it?”

The mention of that name made me bitter, “I wouldn’t be surprised. They might have wanted to get rid of my memories so that it wouldn’t be a hindrance to the exterminations. Or because we would’ve revealed it to them about it.”

Charlie’s eyes had a flash of red, meaning she was angry. It makes sense. I mean, hiding the fact that I had a whole life just makes me want to drag him out and kill him the 3rd time.

“Oooh,” Angel Dust of all people came as he looked at the notebook, “What’s this here?”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were talking with Husk.”

“Well,” Husk appeared from behind him, “Let’s just say Niffty is having one of… those moments.”

Wondering what he meant, Charlie and I looked over at the bar. The small maid demon was making a snow angel… using a pile of roaches as snow while giggling weirdly to herself.

I can’t help but turn my head away and cringed and Charlie turned away and tried to plaster herself a smile but was failing miserably. “Well… that was something I didn’t need to know… or see…”

“So what are ya two doin, exactly?” Angel asked, getting way too curious to my liking.

Though, I guess I’ve grown used to him to trust him well enough. Same with Husk. it wouldn’t hurt to share.

I sigh slowly and I smile at the hand of my girlfriend encouraging me, “I’ve been… having strange dreams… of memories that have been repressed for years. Memories of my life back on earth.”

“Woah, you ain’t a heavenborn?”

I shook my head, “That’s what I thought too. But it makes the most sense. Likely because they wanted to separate from my family. Or because they wanted my past to not get int the way of my exorcist training.”

“Damn. That's messed up,” Angel replied, and then grabbed the book, “Let me see one of these.”

“Hey! Those are priv-”

“Aw, you got cried over a boo-boo, toots?” He asked, flipping through the pages, “Aw, and you probably were so small. Man, this is way better than Alastor’s dream.”

Though, trying to get the book away from him, I couldn’t help but agree. It was one heck of a  surprise when he actually joined in on the activity. It was another when he shared his dream… all the carnage… Better not think about it for too long.

“Angel, please give Vaggie her notebook back,” Charlie told the spider demon. It was always good to have her on side.

“Hang on, just let me…” Angel trails off what he was about to say when he frowns, “Why was this old hag yelling about?”

Oh… that memory. That one, out of all of them, probably hit me the hardest. Reasons I still don’t understand for any apparent reason.

Taking this opportunity as he was caught off guard, I quickly snatched the notebook out of his hands. I clutched it tightly to my chest.

Angel finally understood he did something insensitive, “Vags, I-”

“I…” I cut him off, “I need a fucking drink.”

Luckily for me, Husk always has one in hand in case the bar is occupied.

Urrrgggghhhhhhhh…..

I think I had tooooo muuuuuch.

My head is… swiveling… Urgh my head hurts more than the time I… fell down that one time I… when did I fall down…? Which time…? I fell down a bunch of times….

“Vaggie?” I hear the voice of my wonderful, lovely, hot, caring, adorable girlfriend….. She’s so pretty…. “Are you feeling alright? You look like you drank too much.”

“I’m fiiiiinnnneee, babe!” I said as I leaned into Charlie’s warm and loving touch, “You feeeeel niceeeee. And prettyyyy…. And waaaarrrrmm…. And prettyyyyyyy…. Did I say pretty already?”

Charlie was blushing red and I heard Angel’s annoying chuckles, “Oh, she’s definitely out of it.”

“Fuuuck offf, Angel…” I replied, showing him a middle finger that I could barely hold up, “Youuu’re more annoying than Isaaaaa…”

“Isa?” I hear Charlie ask, raising a nice brow.

“Yeah…. Isa…. my sis…. such a prima donna…” I wonder how she’s doing now…

Charlie widened her eyes, “Wait, you have a sister?!”

I nodded, head rocking back and forth, “Two…. Luisa…. Her hugs are nice… a little strong.. But nice.” I smiled at that memory.

“Holy shit, is the alcohol regaining her memories?” said Angel in disbelief.

“I think it is.” huh, I forgot Husk was here. How long was he here, exactly?

“Hungry… want… Mama’s…. Food…”

Charlie sat me down on the couch, “Sorry Vags, but… you’re mom’s not here.”

“Oh…” That makes sense. But I’m so hungryyyyy… “Maybe I can ask Camilo if I can have some of his extra fooood.”

The three of them were talking to each other, whispering so that I wouldn't hear. Man, why can’t I join in. Is it important? Does it have to do with me? Great… whispers about me. Wish I had Dolores’s gift right now…

But… I can’t help but think about…

“... I reeeally am uselessss…”

I wasn’t enough as Charlie ran towards me saying, “Vaggie, no. of course you're not useless. You never are.”

The other two nodded, agreeing with her, “Yeah, toots. Why would you think that?”

I didn’t want to tell them. I didn’t want them to worry. I was so used to hiding… but with the look of worry in their eyes, I can trust them, “It’s just…. Aaall my life… I couldn’t do anything right…. Anyyything right at all…”

Just thinking about it…

I was starting to cry… shit.

It all came spilling out.

“Why… why couldn’t I be of use for once… Fuck, I practically DIED trying to prove myself!... Why couldn’t Abuela just open her eyes and seee!!! See that she was the reason! See why the family was broken!!! Then maybe, I could have been alive! Maybe the family wouldn’t have to suffer following her rules!”

The others tried to comfort me while confused as fuck. But I just kept my words flowing out of my mouth like Tía Pepa’s hurricanes.

 “Maybe Dolores wouldn’t have to suffer from the curse of a gift she received! Maybe Camilo wouldn’t have to hide his true self! Maybe Antonio wouldn’t have to be so scared!” The mention of Antonio made me choke. I missed him so much. “Antonio… and not only that, Luisa wouldn’t have to carry the whole Encanto on her shoulders! Maybe Isabella wouldn’t have to be perfect for the family’s sake or Abuela’s! Maybe mi mama and Tía Pepa wouldn’t have to lose their brother! Maybe Tío Bruno wouldn’t have to feel like he’s a curse!”

My head was hurting. My thoughts were spinning. My tears were burning my eyes as they flowed down my cheek. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to…

Let… it all… out.

Charlie, Husk, and Angel looked at me, their faces etched with concern. Especially Charlie’s.

“I… I love my family… so much… but Alma… never cared… for the family’s needs nor myself…. All for the Encanto, she says! And never the family!... And… I paid the price…. Sacrificing myself…. For that stupid candle!”

Then it hit me… hit me so much harder than anything else…

“I… I miss them so much… I miss my parents… I miss my sisters…. I miss my primos… I miss my Tíos and Tía… I miss them all… and now…. I missed everything…. I don’t know where they are or what they’re doing…”

Why… just why…

“But I never got to grow up with them… I never got that chance… Why… Why did I have to risk my life like that!? And now I… I might never see them again!”

Something powerful surged within me…

At that moment… I felt one thing only. A feeling that never left me even after death.

“And… now…”

Desperation.

Let… it… out….

“I WANT MY FAMILY BACK!!!”

Magic surged out of my body, creating something like a magical shockwave that took so much out of me.

It… it felt like… the miracle…

But before I could do anything, I black out and fainted from exhaustion.

And the last thing I heard was, “What the fuck just happened?”