I Can’t Believe it’s Not Fiction
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy sat next to each other on a rug in front of a roaring fire, in their cozy home in Manchester. Harry was just beginning a new series Draco convinced him to read, called The Adam Lambert series. It was about a Glam Rock musician who lives to shock, while at the same time impress, his adoring public. Harry held the first book, titled Adam Lambert, the Early Years, and Draco was sprawled next to him, reading the second installment, titled Adam Lambert, the Theater Years. The rest of the series sat in a pile next to the couple. Others books in the series included the third novel, titled Adam Lambert, the Idol Years, the fourth called Adam Lambert, the Idol Tour, the fifth and sixth, titled Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment, and Adam Lambert, and the Glam Nation Tour. And the seventh book, titled Adam Lambert, Trespassing, was lying slightly to the side, where Draco had left it after reading the inside cover.
Harry looked up from his book, and asked, “Draco, do you think this story could be true?”
“True?” repeated Draco. “A world without magic- how could that be true! Preposterous! It is called fantasy for a reason,” he said haughtily.
“Well then, I think it would be safe to do a little experiment,” said Harry, with a devious glint in his eyes.
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Fifteen minutes later, Harry and Draco, having spelled themselves into the sixth book, were standing in the crowd at a loud rock concert. Music was pounding and the black haired man on stage was amazing. His vocal range was huge. He could start a song low and climb octaves at a fantastic rate. But that’s all this was, fantasy. It was just a story out of a great book, nothing more.
After the concert, the dark haired man led the blonde to a corridor leading to a room with a gold plate on the door that clearly marked it Adam’s dressing room. They apparated inside and sat down to wait for the singer to return.
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Half an hour later, Adam was ushered out of the crush of fans and back into the venue by security, and waited inside for a minute until Tommy caught up. The pair, too exhausted to speak, walked to Adam’s dressing room in silence.
Adam turned the doorknob, already mentally planning out what to do first (shower) and what to do second (put on comfortable clothes and crash on the bus, next to a (Hopefully!) cuddly Tommy Joe), and was shocked to find his dressing room occupied by two very familiar faces.
“Ohmigod! You’re Daniel Radcliffe! And TOM FELTON!” he shrieked.
“Wait, who?” said Harry at the same time that Draco said politely, “I don’t think we’ve met.”
“You play Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy,” interjected Tommy.
“How do you know our names?” asked Draco suspiciously, reaching for his wand.
“Who doesn’t know you? I mean, come on! Your one of the most popular actors in the world right now,” said Tommy, wondering how smashed the pair was if they didn’t realize they were famous. And what were they doing in Adam’s dressing room?! Wild night on the town? he thought amusedly.
Almost reading his mind (or reacting like any normal person would) Adam asked, “Wait, what are you doing in my dressing room?”
Before Draco had the chance to answer, Harry, who had wandered over to Tommy Joe, burst out screaming, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE ABSOLUTELY KIDDING ME! ALL I’VE HEARD FROM YOU, DRACO, IS ABOUT ADAM WHO WAS A BIGGER ME, AND HIS CUTE, TINY LITTLE BOYFRIEND, WHO WAS LIKE A SMALLER YOU. I AM A GOOD THREE INCHES SHORTER THAN THIS TOMMY FELLOW. THREE INCHES!”
Never daunted by any awkward silences, partially because he couldn’t keep quiet for a single minute, Tommy burst out laughing.
“He’s right. I am taller than him. That’s freaking awesome!” he said smiling.
“You are not helping,” muttered Draco.
Adam, curious as always, turned to Harry and said, “Why didn’t you just google his height if you were so interested?”
“Google?” said Harry in a confused tone.
“It’s the muggle equivalent to a library, or a study. They can summon information to them on something called the internet. Shouldn’t you know this, having been brought up a muggle yourself?”
“You think the Dursleys ever let me anywhere near anything valuable and entertaining?” responded Harry. “They did everything to make my life miserable,” ended Harry bitterly.
“It’s in the past now, love. Remember, forgive and forget, or just forget. Don’t let them affect you now.”
Adam and Tommy stayed silent throughout this exchange, looking anywhere but the two lovers in front of them. The moment seemed oddly private and they did not want to intrude.
Rubbing soothing circles into his mate’s shoulder and arm, Draco looked up again at the two rock stars, and they gained a little respect in his eyes. It seemed they were not barbarians after all. Someone had taught them some etiquette at least. Remembering what Adam had said earlier, Draco said, “I do not know who this Tom Felton and Daniel Radcliffe you mentioned are, but allow me to formally introduce myself and then you can explain how you guessed at our names, though I have concluded it was no guess at all. I am Draco Malfoy and this is my partner, Harry Potter.”
“You guys can’t be Harry and Draco. Wizards aren’t real!” said Adam.
“Regardless of how you know we are wizards, I can assure you we are quite real. Observe.” And, taking a cue from Dumbledore, he pointed his wand at the wardrobe containing all of Adam’s costumes, and set it on fire.
Adam ran at the man and tried to knock him down but Draco was quick. He wouldn’t have survived as a seeker if not, and he quickly ducked out of the way and apparated out a second later. Harry chuckled and waited for his mate to make a grand Malfoy entrance.
He was not disappointed. Seconds later, the doors to the wardrobe, still flaming, opened and the blond aristocrat stepped out calmly, the flames dying as he walked away from it, leaving all the costumes intact.
“But you’re fiction,” said Tommy. “You’re just a work of fiction. We’re on “Punked” right? You can come out now Ashton!”
Harry looked at him oddly.
“You are the ones who are fiction. We just popped into your book for a little fun.”
--Quick question: if Adam reads about Harry in a fictional work and Harry reads about Adam in a fictional work, are either of them real?---
“Our book? You are kidding me, right?” said Adam.
“No,” replied Harry. And with that he grabbed on to the two rock stars and spelled the group back into his world.