Cause I've Got The Cure For All Of My Blues. (Insanity Awaits?)
The Church. A normalcy for any God-fearing American town to have weekly gatherings every sunday, to be able to show their faith to their god and fellow church goers. A sacred and religious place. But of course, a choir is needed for the many songs and tunes that The Church considers holy. The head of this specific church, a man of the cloth by the name of Father Pierre. Had gotten together 8 talented boys by the name of Dogday, Catnap, Bubba Bubbaphant, Kickin Chickin, Allister Gator, Simon Smoke, Poe, and Touille. And like any good priest, he takes these young and bright boys into confessionals a little too discreet. How you may ask? Well they walk inside the room normally, but then the boy usually walks out with an odd limp while Father Pierre looks very happy with himself.
It was one evening when the entire choir composed of boys were practicing for a special 100th year anniversary of the church in their town that will be happening tomorrow's eve. Where it would be the usual act of the usual hymns, but then it would end on an encore of Amazing Grace. Father Pierre had left the church a bit early due to his lumbago. Making the rest of the choir boys to do some mischief to spite the father, that being. To break into the communion wine cellar and get drunk on the wine. All the while, the boys got together and did some of the dark acts that the father had commited on them with each other because of their very close friendship and bond of having the same trauma being afflicted on them all.
It was the morning after their night of debauchery. After a nice sleep in the church, they were all surprised when none other but Lucifer himself were among them all, cackling over the performance he had watched. "Well, well, well. I didn't think such goody-two-shoes like you boys could be so lustful!" The Devil boomed out, making the poor scared boys tremble and fall to the ground. "I saw everything that you boys did, and wouldn't it be a shame if your families and friends found out how much of a satanist you all are by engorging on such a devilish act!" The Devil remarked, cackling as he talked. "Please mister devil sir! We'll do anything for you to not spill the beans!" Dogday had cried out while going on his knees. "Yeah! There must be something we could do?" Catnap yelled, doing the same. Eventually every single boy was on their knees and begging The Devil to not let anyone know of the acts that they had commited while the devil simply rubbed his chin while smirking. The boys already hated the situation they were in, and with the whole of the town knowing about these acts would make their situation even worse.
"You all would, eh? Fine. A deal then. If you all can replace that stupid boring encore of yours to something more upbeat and exciting, then I will keep my mouth shut. So we have a deal?" The Devils said, and with a flick of his wrist, a floating contract with a feather pen had appeared in front of the boys. And with the boys looking at each other, one by one, they started to wordlessly sign the contract. "Excellent." The Devil said, taking the contract and poofing it away. "Now then, I have a suggestion on what you all could sing on your encore." The Devil said. He then wnet into excruciating detail on the song with which the boys are to perform and some additives that The Devil specifically asked for. And with that, The Devil simply disappeared in front of their eyes, leaving the boys in disbelief as to if they all hallucinated it all.
It's showtime! The celebration itself went pretty well, the usual songs went as planned and the many donation to the church which was probably not gonna go to the church or charity but funding for Father Pierre's new McLaren. So far that is, because the encore is yet to happen. And while the boys were on a short break, they were contemplating on whether they are to go forward with singing the strange song that The Devil had suggested. But all of them had a sinking feeling in their gut that if they didn't do it, they devil would take their souls. Which he would since it was stated in the contract Bubba had mentioned, somehow the only one bothering to read the contract in it's entirety. So with a heavy heart, they prepared whatever devilry Lucifer had made them memorize, and walked onto their stage. And with Dogday being the lead and everyone being the backup vocal. They started what they do best, singing like angels.
"Whenever life gets you down, Keeps you wearing a frown, And the gravy train has left you behind."
Father Pierre was shocked on whatever the choir was singing, since this was not what they rehearsed, while the audience was surprised on the new song that they were unfamiliar with but excited on this new song.
"And when you're all out of hope, Down at the end of your rope, And nobody's there to throw you a line."
The boys of course sung with excellent skill and precision.
"If you ever get so low that you don't know which way to go, Come on and take a walk in my shoes. Never worry 'bout a thing.Got the world on a string. Cause I've got the cure for all of my blues. (All of his blues)"
With a moment of hesitation between the boys, they looked towards each other. Looking for confirmation on whether they should continue. And with all of them nodding, they sung.
"I take a look at my enormous penis. And my troubles start melting away. (Ba dum bap bap)"
The audience had gasped in shock at the vulgar language, while Father Pierre had been fuming with rage on all of his preparations for today being wasted and thrown down the drain.
"I take a look at my enormous penis And the happy times are coming to stay. I gotta sing and I dance, when I glance in my pants. And the feeling's like a sunshiny day. I take a look at my enormous penis. And everything is going my way."
Some of the audience fainted from the devilish song that was being sung by the usual pure and innocent choir, while Father Pierre was about to punish the lot of them greatly except he was being pulled back by an unknown force.
After a short while of whistling and noises, the actual singing continues.
"Yeah I got great big amounts in the place where it counts. And the feeling's like a sunshiny day. I take a look at my enormous penis.And everything is going my way. (My trouser monster!) Everything is going my way. (My meat is murder!) Everything is going my way. (Size doesn't matter...) Everything is going my way! Yum."
With the final adlibs being sung by Catnap, Kickin, and Touille respectively. And the last lines being sung all in synch. The encore is complete. And the audience and Father Pierre was left speechless, until of course many berations coming from everyone was the only noise coming from the church. The boys then decided to run out of the church through a back entrance into the nearby forest. And all the while, the boys were laughing and cheering for themselves for they had always hated the town and the church, and doing this was just the perfect spit in the face for everyone, plus it was just really fun. Sadly, the euphoria didn't last however as Father Pierre had caught up with the boys. He was just about to berate them until The Devil had appeared right in front of him, shielding the boys. "I think you've tormented these boys for long enough." The Devil said menacingly with a scary grin. Father Pierre meanwhile was just reciting prayers over the sight of The Devil himself. "Oh ho! He won't save you now! You're going where he never wants to go." The Devil boomed, and with a snap of his fingers, demonic looking arms came out of the ground and started to drag Father Pierre straight to hell, screaming as he does.
When he was fully swallowed up, The Devil turned to the boys, who were trembling over the sight of the pastor just getting dragged to hell. The Devil saw this and started laughing and clapping. "What a splendid performance! Such a shame that you all may be outcasts now, but I have another deal for you all. If you're interested of course." The Devil nonchalantly said. "What is it?" Dogday shyly asked. "Its simple! You all will live with me in hell as fellow demons! Most of them can't even sing so you guys would be a nice edition." The Devil simply said. The choir group then debilitated for a while, you should never trust The Devil with anything, but he was telling the truth that the town would have them outcast and then they would have nowhere else to go. So with nothing left to lose, they agreed. The Devil cheered at their agreement, and with a clap of his hands, their normal bodies had turned into demonic forms, complete with impish wings. And with a quick flap of their wings, the choir had followed Lucifer to hell.
To this day, if you were to ever visit hell. Lucifer would be sitting on his tall throne made of stone, and a choir of demons would be at his side, entertaining him while he lords over his realm and the prisoners who dwell.