"Okay," Tony sighed, massaging her forehead as he spoke before the entire living room full of Avengers members. "It has been brought to my attention, by several members of our team, that some of us are having a bit of a problem in terms of... sexual activity. To be blunt, normal condoms just weren't made with you super-people in mind. Luckily, upon request, I have solved your problem for you."
Everyone in the room, Steve, Bucky, Wanda, Natasha, Peter, and Thor, had hoped for discretion. But this was Tony they were talking about, so they should have expected this.
"Steve, Buck, Peter, and Thor," Tony said, tossing each of them a goodie-bag full of condoms. "Condoms capable of withstanding your super durability. Have fun with that!"
The condoms for each hero were designed differently. Steve's has the Captain America shield on the tip, Bucky's were grey with red stars, Peter's were just completely red, and Thor's had lightning bolts on it.
"Pete, I decided just to go with red for you, since I doubt your girlfriend wants to be penetrated by a penis crawling with spiders."
Like his condoms, Peter's face was bright red, and he was staring at the ground. "Thank you, Mr. Stark." he barely whispered.
"Yes, thank you, Stark." Thor nodded, unaware of the humiliation the other three were currently enduring. "This gift is much appreciated. I will enjoy my time with Jane and Darcy much more now with these."
Tony smiled. "No problem, Thor." Turning to the only girls in the room, Wanda and Natasha, who were both bracing for impact knowing they were next, Tony's smile grew. "For this lovely couple, I bestow upon you condoms capable of withstanding magic. Strange had to help me with these, but he didn't ask any questions. Don't worry though, I still gave him lots of details." He tossed them each a baggie.
With everyone in the room successfully embarrassed (apart from Thor), Tony saw this as a job well done.