Sideways

Ginny walked slowly, covered in a heavy black cloak she blended in with the darkness around her. Her heart raced – unable to stop wondering what she was even doing, why had she gone there? But deep down, she knew the answers. It had been nearly two weeks since the battle at Hogwarts and just as long since Ginny had spoken to a single soul. She’d stormed out of the castle that night when the truth about her parents came out. Feeling like her entire life was a lie, Ginny locked herself away. She wasn’t sure who she was anymore and had begun to question her entire existence.

With just the blood in her veins as a key, the gates of Malfoy Manor opened as soon as she stepped up to them. She was part Malfoy inside and the magic around the building knew that. She looked up at the mansion, several hundred years old. Stone and strong and beautiful. Despite everything that happened in the home, it maintained the high-class appearance. The full moon lit up the light stone and the house made Ginny feel insignificant. The Burrow would fit inside this place twenty times or more. It was so massive.

She walked slowly up the cobblestone drive and the closer she got the bigger the house felt. At the sound of the gate closing behind her Ginny jumped and spun around. She suddenly felt trapped and her heart began to beat so fast against her chest she was sure it was audible. At the clang of the gate, the front door opened. A large beam of light flooded out of the house. A tall slender figure moved to the center of the light and looked out, wand in hand. She knew his voice as soon as he spoke. “Who’s there?” Draco asked. He was the man of the house now with Lucius back in Azkaban for his crimes.

Ginny took a few steps forward into the light and she was reminded for a moment of the last time his wand was on her. The first time they’d talked in that bathroom. He lit his wand, lighting her in the night as she lifted a hand and pushed the hood of the cloak off her head. Draco stood, eyes wide staring at her. With the way she’d left, he was sure he’d never see her again, and yet there she was. “Ginny…” he breathed out and stepped forward. He hesitated, after a few steps, he didn’t want to rush her, but he wanted so much to be closer to her.

He walked out with the ease of someone with incredible confidence, the pride he was raised with. Ginny watched him, taking two steps closer herself. As they met in the middle they stood still less than a foot apart both pulled to be closer to the other. “Sod it.” He muttered and reached out for her. He pulled her into his arms, his forehead resting against hers instinctually. He took in a deep breath, soothed with the flowery scent in her ginger hair. Ginny was nervous, she didn’t know what they were supposed to be to one another any longer. Could she just forget everything they’d done together, could she forget she was technically related to him? She was so confused about everything she was that she didn’t know how to act – but was thankful when he moved in first. The embrace calmed her nerves with such ease that she knew it had to be the right choice. After a moment she moved in more, her arms wrapping around his middle and her face pressing against his shoulder. She just stood in the darkness holding onto him. The way she felt when he held her was the only thing that seemed to make sense. The only thing that hadn’t changed.

“Draco? Is someone out-- Oh…” Narcissa began coming to the still open door but stopped short when she saw the embrace. “Hello, Ginevra.” She said with a small smile. It was hard not to smile at the girl she knew was hers but seeing them embrace was still hard for her. She had caused them pain and that was all she was trying to keep them both from. “You two come on inside, I’ll put on some tea.”

“Oh, um, hello.” Ginny replied, pulling away from Draco and looking down towards her feet. She nodded a little at the invitation inside and waited for her to walk away before she turned back to him. She looked up at him for a second, confused and afraid all of a sudden. She was ready to tell him she should go, but he held out his hand to her.

“C’mon, it’s okay.”

Ginny nodded at his words, and slid her hand into his, holding it a little tighter than she would have before. But with her first step she was pulling back and shaking her head. “I can’t.” She told him, eyes on the large doorway. “I shouldn’t be here…” She muttered the words but didn’t fully believe it. She was confused and didn’t know what choice was right anymore. Didn’t know where she belonged.

“Gin.” He began, turning and moving in close again as he spoke so softly. “You don’t have to come in, but nothing is going to hurt you in this house. I promise you.” He told her, and it caught her attention. For all he’d done, he’d never made a promise to her that he couldn’t keep. “I’ll stay with you, even if we sit out here all night, okay?” He couldn’t have imagined how hard this was for her, but he’d never seen that look in her eyes before and he didn’t like it at all.

His protective behavior stuck with her and she nodded, finally walking with him into Malfoy Manor, a place she never once thought she should be. The house was so massive, and there was so much in there that she wasn’t sure she was ready for. “It’s not at its best inside, we’ve gotten rid of a lot of things so it’s a little bare.” He seemed to be apologetic for the state of the place, but inside it didn’t look bare at all, it was beautiful in its own way. It didn’t feel as welcoming as the Burrow, but it was lavish. She figured the Malfoys weren’t attempting to make anyone feel welcome there, it was a fortress of power not the place to pop in for supper.

It was warmer inside, but Ginny still had a chill down her back. This had been her home for a few minutes after she was born. Draco led her into the parlor where a fire was burning in the fireplace. They sat together on a sofa and she kept a tight hold on his hand as she glanced around the room. The massive painting above the fireplace of the family caught her eye first and the one thing that really stuck out to her was that none of them were smiling in it. She felt so small in there, the walls lined in shelves, books and display cases – some empty, some holding strange artifacts.

“Here we are.” Narcissa said as she came back in, her tone as cheery as she could make it, but it only sounded forced. The entrance startled Ginny and she jumped a little in her seat beside Draco. Narcissa sat the tea on the table in front of them and took a seat in a chair to the side. “So…” She took a sip of tea, trying to find the words. “What brings you here tonight?” Even in such an awkward state, Narcissa was still regal in her way.

Draco turned to Ginny and gave her a nod, trying to show her it was going to be okay no matter what she had to say. “I…” She began, Ginny paused, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard. She shifted some in her seat, sitting up a little taller. She had to remind herself that there was nothing to fear here. “I want to know who I am.” Both Malfoys looked at her, but their expressions were hard to read. “I want to know what happened.” She told Narcissa while her hand held tight to Draco.

Narcissa nodded a little, swallowing hard. “I honestly didn’t know that this day would ever come, I wasn’t sure I’d ever know you.” She explained with a sad expression on her face. “But you have every right to know, you both do.” Narcissa wasn’t going to worry herself with the fact that the two were still holding hands that something had obviously happened between them in the past. That wasn’t what mattered right now. “You should know first that I do not hate my husband. Both of you have every right to hate him.” She added before Draco could speak up against her refusal to loathe the man that beat her.

“You should.” He still muttered, but all the woman did was give him a look that made him sigh. They had clearly had this argument many times with how exasperated he looked. Draco found it hard that even though the man was ready to kill the only two women he ever loved, that beat his mother many times, that she couldn’t hate him.

“I made vows, I will honor them. But…” She hesitated, finding the words and sipping her tea to fill the space. “It hasn’t always been easy. Lucius can be a cold and calculated man, but he gave me my son and for that I can never hate him. You must understand that when you’re married, when you’re bonded, life is very different. But Lucius has a very political mind, he wanted an heir, and I gave him that and his attentions went elsewhere. I made bad choices, wanting affection and it caused pain to many people.” She paused, her eyes locked with her son’s. She didn’t want him to think badly of her, but he wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. But he just watched her, waiting for more.

“When Lucius found me with the him…” She hesitated at the expression on Ginny’s face. “He was a French quidditch player, his name was Alexandre. He was a pure blood and a few years younger than I.” She frowned a bit before she continued. “Lucius punished us both, he concocted a story about his trying to rob us and attacking me and Alexandre was sent to Azkaban.” She swallowed hard. “I heard that he died there some time ago. The attack on me was not from Alexandre of course, it was punishment from Lucius.” Draco took in a sharp breath, he’d seen his mother get hit, but hearing her talk about it as if she ever deserved it made more anger flare inside him. “I got pregnant, but it wasn’t until the child – you - were born that I knew you were not Lucius’s daughter.” She looked on to Ginny as she spoke.

Narcissa spoke as if from far away, her eyes not meeting either of her children. “I knew the moment I saw you, you had a head full of beautiful red hair when you were born. And so strong, you held my finger so tight.” Narcissa forced her emotions away and sat up straighter. “I didn’t want to send you away, but I knew I had to if I wanted you to live. I had Dobby take you away, told him to find a family of pureblood family who would love you as their own. I ordered him to never to tell a soul where you were and even as a free elf, he took that information with him to his grave.”

Narcissa lifted a perfectly manicured hand to her eye, swiping a tear before it fell. “You were gone before Lucius ever laid eyes on you, I knew if he saw you he’d kill you on the spot, kill us both.” She nodded a little, trying to make it really clear to them both that she did what she had to do. Ginny stared at Narcissa in silence, she didn’t know what to say, she was the product of an affair and sent away so she wouldn’t be murdered. It was not exactly what she had in mind when it came to learning where she came from.

“Ginevra…Ginny.” Narcissa corrected herself. “I know this isn’t a fairy tale, but I want you to know that I only sent you away so you could live, not for any other reason.” She needed the girl to know that despite the battles between their families that she was wanted. Ginny just nodded, looking at her knees, at her hand in Draco’s.

“Yeah…” Ginny muttered still trying to take it all in. Draco moved his thumb over the back of her hand, she wasn’t usually quiet, if she felt something she spoke up. But she was holding back now and he knew it. “Still doesn’t tell me who I am…or who you are. I-I came from you, but I don’t even know you or why you made the choices you did. Why did you…” But Ginny didn’t finish her thought, instead she shook her head and stood. She felt like the room was closing in and needed some air.

The only thing that felt familiar was the sky so despite the cold, Ginny found herself sitting outside on the grass in front of the manor looking up at the stars in the darkness. Draco brought her a thicker cloak than the one she was wearing, wrapping it around her as he came out to join her. “Mum’s asleep, I gave her a dreamless sleep potion and took her upstairs.” He explained, sitting down in the moist grass with her. “She kept asking me if you were okay, telling me to leave her alone and come out here.” He reached over, wrapping his arm around her. “Are you okay, Gin?” He asked as she leaned her head over on him.

“I don’t know.” She told him honestly. “I keep thinking back over all these things in my life, on what would be different if I weren’t a Weasley. I know I’d be different, if I were raised here…I’d be completely different, I wouldn’t look at people or the world the same way. I wouldn’t know the same things I know now…I wouldn’t be able to tend a garden or make onion soup. I would never have had to want for anything because you always had everything. I wouldn’t have been taken into the Chamber…I wouldn’t have been at the Ministry fighting…I wouldn’t have flown a thestral to London. I wouldn’t…have…” She trailed off and turned to him then, looking at his face and they both knew what she was thinking about then. She wouldn’t have ever kissed him.

Draco nodded a little. “You’re right…but…what would you have? A lot of stuff? A lot of hate and fear? Forget fate, Gin… it doesn’t matter. What matters is who you are right now.”

“But who am I?!” She asked loudly, no one would hear her anyway, the distress of it all written all over her face. “I’m your sister!” She exclaimed, her voice cracking.

“No.” He spoke calmly almost sternly. “You’re my blood, but you are not my sister. A sister is not just blood, it’s family and that’s not what we are to one another.” He paused for a while, talking about feelings was hard for him, but she’d always been the one he could do it with. “I’m glad you didn’t grow up here.” He told her and she looked at him strangely, not sure if it was insulting or not. “Gin… you were the one person I had when everything in my life was falling apart. You were the one person who didn’t turn on me or make it harder. Every day at school I felt like I had something good to look forward to because I got to spend time with you. If we grew up together as siblings…I’m sure we’d be there for one another, but you wouldn’t have been the light in the storm, you’d have been right there in the storm with me. And you wouldn’t be the same person you are, you would have been as awful as I was growing up. You’d hate and be cruel, you’d have been hurt and guarded, not open and willing to know someone who didn’t make it easy.” He reached over, pulling the hood of the cloak up to shield her from the cold a bit more. “I was not raised to be thankful, I was raised to be entitled, and I know that now. But I am thankful to have met you when I did. I needed you in a way I never understood back then. And I know it doesn’t help you figure out where you came from, but…I maybe it’ll help know where you are right now.”

“I’m glad I was there for you and you for me. And I’m glad that you trust me, I really am, but…I need more. I need to be sure about who I am. For me.” Draco nodded and put his arm around her, drawing her closer and letting her head rest back against his shoulder again. He didn’t hold it against her at all, he wasn’t the one who had been sent away, and he didn’t blame her for wanting to know more about where she came from. But he knew better than anyone, that she had the better life between them.