Chapter 3
Nestled into her small corner table at Roy’s, Carla sat with her thoughts swirling like the steam rising from her untouched cup of coffee. The weight of her reckless behaviour pressed heavily on her shoulders, making the vibrant chatter around her feel distant and muted. Her usually animated mind was a thousand miles away, lost in apprehension and the feeling of uncertainty that gripped her.
Just as she began to sink deeper into her reverie, the doorbell jingled, and in walked Lisa. At first, Carla barely registered her presence, but then, the sight of the familiar face snapped her attention back like a rubber band.
Lisa's blonde hair flowed freely today, cascading down her shoulders in soft waves, a striking departure from her usual D.S. Swain look, which typically featured hair pulled back tightly in a bun or a ponytail, with only a few rebellious strands allowed to escape to frame her face. In this moment, Lisa appeared softer, somehow more approachable. Gone was the polished professionalism of the detective. Instead, she sported a cozy hoodie and well-worn jeans, exuding a relaxed vibe that Carla had never seen before.
Despite the atmosphere buzzing around them, Carla found herself momentarily captivated by the change in Lisa. It sparked questions in her mind — had Lisa been deliberately avoiding her since her arrest a few days prior, or was it purely coincidence that she hadn’t looked her way since? As she watched, it dawned on Carla that Lisa seemed to be increasingly close to her workplace lately. Was she seeking her out, or was it just her mind fixating on the detective, unable to shake the connection left hanging after their last goodbye?
Their eyes finally met, a charged glance that sent a jolt of electricity through Carla’s very core. It felt as if the world around them hushed as Lisa approached the counter to order a coffee and a bacon sandwich, her movements imbued with casual confidence.
After Lisa paid, she turned and walked over to Carla’s table, a warm smile brightening her face. “Mind if I join you?” she asked, her voice mixing playfulness with a touch of formality.
“No, not at all,” Carla replied, trying to project an effortless demeanor, though the tension from their last encounter still hung awkwardly in the air.
“How have you been?” Lisa asked, settling into her seat, her eyes searching Carla’s for any signs of distress.
“Not too bad, just a bit embarrassed,” Carla admitted, forcing a smile. “But I guess I can’t change it now, can I?”
Lisa hesitated, her tone turning a bit more serious. “Yeah, I get that. I am really sorry I had to arrest you the other day. It was… awkward.”
A nervous laugh escaped Carla. “Yeah, definitely awkward. I’m sorry again to put you in that position.”
“I know it’s tough,” Lisa said, a hint of empathy in her voice. “But it was my job. I just hope you’re okay.”
“I appreciate that,” Carla replied, her smile softening. “Honestly, it was a wake-up call. I’m trying to figure things out.”
Lisa nodded, her expression softening as they shared a moment of understanding. “As long as you’re okay, that’s what matters.”
Before Carla could respond, Lisa's gaze caught sight of a crossword puzzle lying abandoned at the edge of the table. “You’re into crosswords? How classy!” she exclaimed, her playful tone sparking curiosity.
Carla chuckled again. “Only sometimes. I’m not very good at them, though.”
“Let’s see…” Lisa squinted at the paper, her brow furrowing adorably as she leaned over the table, the soft scent of her shampoo mixing with the aroma of coffee. “Oh, here’s one— a clue. ‘Enforcement agency’ – it’s six letters.”
She gasped excitedly, her hand darting out to snatch Carla's pen, the suddenness of the move catching Carla off guard. With a swift scribble, Lisa filled in the crosswords answer before Carla could protest. POLICE.
“Hey! That’s cheating!” Carla laughed, half-amused and half-indignant.
“Cheating? Nope, I call it efficiency!" Lisa winked, leaning back with a playful grin.
Carla feigned exasperation, shaking her head. “So, your detective superpower is crossword solving, huh?”
“Only the police related ones ones,” Lisa replied, a glint in her eyes. “But don’t tell anyone; it’s my secret weapon!”
They both erupted in laughter, the tension that had once enveloped them dissipating into thin air. In this small moment, it felt as though a bridge was slowly forming, bringing them closer together.
Feeling the warmth of their laughter still hanging in the air, Carla took a deep breath, breaking the moment of levity. “So, what are your plans today?" she asked, genuinely curious.
Lisa shrugged, her cheerful demeanor fading just a touch. “Honestly, I don’t have any plans. It’s a rare day off for me,” she replied, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t really like to take time off if I can avoid it. When I do, my mind tends to drift back to… well, to Becky.”
Carla’s heart sank slightly at the mention of Becky, recognising the heaviness of the subject. “I totally get that,” Carla said softly. “It must be tough.”
“It is,” Lisa admitted, a shadow crossing her face. Then she shook her head, as if trying to dispel the moment of sorrow. “But it can be good to escape sometimes! Maybe I should find a distraction.”
An idea sparked in Carla’s mind, and she leaned forward, her eyes brightening. “Why don’t you come hang out with me at work?” she suggested. “I’ve got some samples I’d love your opinion on.”
“Samples?” Lisa raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “What kind of samples?”
Carla shifted slightly, feeling a mix of excitement and shyness. “Um, you know… lingerie samples,” she said, keeping her voice light.
“Wait, you want my opinion on underwear?” Lisa laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Should I be flattered or concerned?”
Carla blushed, hesitant to reveal her awkwardness. “Well, I do own a knicker factory…. I just think it’s crucial to get women’s opinions, you know? I want to make sure we’re creating the right products! It’s not just about making them look pretty; they need to fit well and feel good too,” she stumbled out, suddenly feeling flustered.
Lisa raised her hands in mock surrender, still laughing. “Okay, okay! I guess I can offer my expertise on the art of underwear selection,” she joked, her expression a mix of amusement and camaraderie.
“Great!” Carla beamed, grateful for Lisa’s lightheartedness, even as her cheeks remained warm. “Honestly, I’d love to get another set of eyes on them. I could use the help, and it would just be fun having you there!”
“I’m intrigued!” Lisa exclaimed, her tone playful but genuine. “This is going to be interesting. Prepare yourself; I’m brutally honest.”
“Maybe I should brace myself,” Carla laughed, her nerves lessening with each passing moment. “But hey, I appreciate your honesty! It’ll help me a lot.”
———————
As Carla and Lisa stepped into the factory, the hum of sewing machines filled the air, a comforting sound that echoed the rhythm of productivity. The moment they crossed the threshold, a ripple of curiosity swept through the room. Staff members paused in their stitching, heads turning to investigate the unexpected arrival of the detective.
“What’s going on? Is it a crime scene?” Izzy quipped, breaking the silence. Her playful tone elicited a few chuckles from the other workers, but also a sense of unease.
“No, nobody is in trouble,” Carla responded with a light laugh, easing the tension in the room. “D.S. Swain is here to help me out with something. It’s nothing to concern any of you, so get back to work please!”
With that, she waved off the curious glances and slipped into her office, Lisa following closely behind her. Once inside, Carla closed the door with a chuckle, sealing them away from the probing eyes of the factory staff.
“Phew, that was interesting!” Lisa said, leaning against the door with a grin. “I didn’t expect a crowd.”
“Welcome to my world,” Carla replied, her laughter ringing out like a bell. “Now, coffee?”
“Absolutely,” Lisa replied, her eyes lighting up at the offer.
Carla moved to the small kitchenette, preparing two steaming cups. The comforting scent of coffee filled the air, momentarily banishing any remnants of the awkward tension from outside. Turning back with the mugs, Carla noticed Lisa’s face brightening, and she felt a warm glow in her chest.
“Here you go!” Carla said, handing Lisa a cup.
“Thanks!” Lisa took a sip, savoring the rich flavor before setting it down on the table. “This is actually really nice.”
“Glad you like it. I keep the best stuff hidden from them lot out there!” Carla replied, her smile widening as she set down her cup and began pulling samples from a drawer. She laid out an array of colourful fabrics, their soft textures inviting exploration. Next came the underwear samples, each piece meticulously designed and crafted. Carla also spread out mood boards, bursting with inspiration—patterns, colours, and sketches that promised new ideas.
Lisa swallowed hard, trying to focus on the designs while suppressing thoughts of Carla in some of the enticing pieces laid before her. A rush of heat crept up her cheeks at the idea, and she shook her head slightly, attempting to dispel the distraction. “Wow, these are… impressive,” she managed, her voice wavering slightly as she gestured with her coffee cup. “You’ve got a good range here.”
“Thanks! I’m excited about this new line,” Carla replied, flipping through the samples with enthusiasm. “But I need some honest feedback. What do you think?”
As Carla showcased the first sample, Lisa leaned in closer, her heart racing at the proximity. She tried to focus intently on the design, but she could feel her cheeks growing warmer. “I think this would be really popular,” she said, pointing out the intricate lace detailing. “It has that perfect balance of elegance and comfort.”
“Really? I hope so!” Carla's eyes sparkled with excitement as she flipped to another piece. “What about this one? Too daring?”
Lisa bit her lip, her gaze lingering a beat too long on the item. “Daring can be good! Some women love that flair—like a secret confidence boost.” She could feel her voice tremble slightly, and she quickly looked away, feeling increasingly flustered.
“Exactly!” Carla exclaimed, flipping another sample toward her. “That’s the spirit I need! Good feedback.
As they continued discussing the designs, Lisa found herself becoming more flustered, awkwardly shifting in her chair and adjusting her hair. She tried to play it off with laughter, but it came out a bit too high-pitched. In the midst of light-hearted exchanges, she felt her cheeks heat up again, overshadowing the earlier feelings of grief that had faded into the background.
“Yeah, so… um,” she tried to say, faltering slightly as she gestured toward another sample. “This piece is really… bold!” She winced internally at how clumsy her words sounded, hoping she didn’t make it too obvious just how flustered she was.
“Bold can be beautiful!” Carla replied with a laugh, completely unaware of Lisa’s growing awkwardness.
“Sure, sure, but I, um, might need to see it on for… like, proper feedback,” Lisa suggested, her heart pounding wildly at her own audacity. The moment the words tumbled out, she froze, eyes wide in horror. “Oh! I—I didn’t mean for that to sound like that! I’m so, so sorry!” With that, she slapped her hands over her face, wishing she could disappear.
Carla erupted in laughter, a twinkle of mischief sparkling in her eyes. She took a few hesitant steps closer to Lisa, slowly reaching out to gently pry her hands away from her face. “Wow, bold moves over here! she teased.
Lisa felt her throat constrict, the heat rising rapidly to her cheeks. She gulped painfully, not quite trusting herself to speak. Carla was so close now, too close, and Lisa remained motionless in her chair. The very idea of closing that gap sent a wave of warmth coursing through her. A flurry of awkwardness flooded her thoughts; every possible scenario played out in her mind, each more embarrassing than the last.
Her heart raced at the playful glint in Carla's eyes, and although she wanted to respond, all that came out was a nervous giggle that felt way too loud in the silence. The flirtation hovered in the air like an awkward balloon, and all Lisa could do was smile—her face now a deep crimson—as she silently prayed it wouldn’t pop.
As the sound of her nervous laughter faded, an awkward silence settled over the room, each second stretching painfully long. Lisa fidgeted in her seat, her thoughts a chaotic jumble. “So, um, what do you think?” she finally said, desperately trying to shift the conversation away from the cringeworthy moment they'd just shared. “About the, uh, new line you’re creating? Is it… good or…?”
Carla raised an eyebrow, a teasing smirk creeping back onto her face. “Oh, you mean the lingerie that you wanted to see me in? It's definitely not something I'd wear every day, let’s just say that,” she replied, leaning against the wall casually, a playful glint in her eyes.
Lisa replied a bit too eagerly, raising her hands defensively. “I mean, i didn’t… I just thought—uh, you know—like it would be great to see how someone-anyone- would pull it off, for…um, feedback!” She winced internally, knowing she sounded absurd.
Carla's laughter bubbled up again, easing the tension. “You’re really trying hard to recover here, huh?” she teased, her tone playful yet kind. “It’s refreshing watching someone be, like, genuinely awkward.”
Lisa groaned internally, her embarrassment flaring up again, but that laugh was infectious. “Yeah, well, I just tend to say things without thinking. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get that kind of—feedback on lingerie, right?” she stammered, desperately attempting to sound cool.
“Totally! Nothing says ‘friendship’ like unsolicited lingerie advice!” Carla replied, folding her arms with a grin that made Lisa’s heart race—both with excitement and nerves.
As Carla watched the flustered expression on Lisa’s face, her heart raced along with her thoughts. The playful banter between them was as effortless as ever, yet beneath the surface, Carla felt something deeper—a gentle pang that settled in her chest. When she’d said the word “friendship,” it felt like a dagger piercing through her heart. If they were just friends, then why did her pulse quicken every time Lisa spoke?
Carla bit her lip, wrestling with a swirling mix of emotions. She found herself enchanted by Lisa’s awkward honesty, each stumble and stammer only amplifying her affection. The truth was, she was drawn to Lisa in a way that felt different than with anyone else. The way Lisa fidgeted, her cheeks turning crimson, was downright adorable to Carla. Was it wrong to feel this way? Was it friendship if there were lingering glances and fluttering heartbeats involved?
A rush of warmth flooded through her at the thought of Lisa in the very lingerie she had been teasing her about. Imagining Lisa in that delicate fabric made her stomach flutter—surely, this wasn’t what friends did. Carla chewed her lip at the notion, recalling her friendship with Michelle, which had always felt open and straightforward. They had never crossed lines like this. Carla had always felt comfortable discussing anything and everything with Michelle, yet none of their conversations ever made her heart race quite like this.
With Lisa, everything felt different—there was a connection that excited her, yet terrified her at the same time. She didn’t quite understand what it meant, but she knew it was something special. Part of her longed for the playful banter to shift, to tip over into something more, even if that part of her was terrified of jeopardising what they had.
Peter came to mind, and Carla shivered at the thought. They had been married - twice, but it hadn’t ever felt like this. Their connection was deep and Carla thought he had been her world, but now their connection felt more transactional—emotional support and sex. With Lisa, it was as if they’d been pulled together by an invisible thread woven from laughter, shared glances, and fleeting touches that lingered a heartbeat too long.
——————-
Spending the day with Lisa was like stepping into a sunbeam after a storm. Carla felt lighter, as if a heavy cloak had been peeled away, leaving her with a buoyancy she hadn’t known in ages. She floated through the day with a spring in her step, laughter bubbling up from somewhere deep within her. But the moment she returned to the flat that evening, the warmth of that joy evaporated, sucked into the chilling void left by Peter.
*How did they get here?* The thought screamed inside her, a painful reminder of twisted roads and choices made. For years, her heart had been a fortress of love and support for Peter, battling the shadows that threatened to drown him. She had opened her arms and her heart, even taking him back after the shattering betrayal of his affair, believing love could conquer all. She had endured the late nights filled with his demons, the bottles that clinked like chains, and the hollow apologies that followed each relapse. Every ounce of her had been devoted to their fragile bond.
Yet, she couldn’t dismiss her own failings; she had crossed lines too, breaking Peter’s trust when she turned to Adam, and battling her own demons of psychosis that threatened to pull her under. Peter had forgiven her, and carried her burdens as if they were his own. It was unthinkable that they could part ways without animosity—she had urged him to take a step back, to focus on healing, to protect his own fragile mental health. And yet, reading those divorce papers felt like a dagger plunging into her chest each time.
Now, seated at the small kitchen table with a bottle of red wine beside her, Carla’s heart ached. The divorce papers trembled in her hands, as if they too understood the weight of their significance. She poured a glass, the deep crimson liquid spilling with an intensity that mirrored her turmoil. Each sip provided a fleeting warmth, but it did little to numb the pain that surged within her. Her breath hitched, catching in her throat, as she struggled to focus on the words that morphed into a blurry mess through the haze of her tears and alcohol.
“The Parties have each consulted a solicitor and have had the benefit of separate and independent legal advice with regards to his or her legal rights arising out of the marital relationship and the terms of this Agreement.” The words felt cold and clinical, devoid of the warmth of the love she had given and received. Each letter felt like a reminder of a bond that had once been vibrant and now lay in tatters.
“The Parties have each voluntarily entered into this Agreement…” This line echoed in her mind, almost mocking her. She had chosen this path, yes, but it felt more like surrender than liberation. It was as if the universe was forcing her to confront a painful truth: that love, no matter how genuine, could sometimes dissolve into nothing.
It was all so absurdly tragic—how could something that had once burned so bright now end in this agonising silence? Carla's heart ached, a deep, matching sorrow threading through her veins. It was hard to reconcile the joy Lisa had brought into her life with the despair she felt while confronting the remnants of a love that was fading into nothingness. Her dreams, once filled with laughter and promise, now lay shattered at her feet, haunting her in the echoes of the life she once shared with Peter. Each tear that fell was a silent cry for what had been, for the love they fought so hard to hold onto, for the hope that now felt unbearably distant.