Chapter 4
As the clock ticked relentlessly toward Carla's court date, panic clawed at her insides, tightening its grip with each passing second. She could feel the weight of impending judgment pressing down on her, a reminder of the mistake that had brought her to this moment—a reckless decision that could cost her everything. The familiar hum of machines and the chatter of her workers faded into a dissonant cacophony, the factory's atmosphere thick with tension, as if the very walls were conspiring against her.
Overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions, Carla stood up abruptly, her heart racing as she moved to the filing cabinet. With trembling hands, she opened the drawer, revealing the familiar glint of a whiskey bottle, her secret refuge in times of turmoil. For as long as she could remember, she’d stashed alcohol in her office—a comfort during desperate moments, a numbing agent for her restless mind.
Once upon a time, a bottle wouldn’t last long; she often sought answers at the bottom, even daring to indulge during working hours. But this bottle remained untouched for what felt like an eternity. She suspected it might be one of those she’d pilfered, hidden away from Peter, after he’d started drinking again. Despite it being a tempting escape, until now, she hadn't found a reason to let it cross her lips.
With a heavy heart, Carla picked up the glass hidden alongside the bottle and poured herself a generous serving of the amber liquid. A mix of dread and longing washed over her as she walked back to her desk, glass and bottle clutched tightly in her hands. Slumping into her chair, she felt the weight of her choices pressing down on her, and as she raised the glass to her lips, she took a loud, desperate gulp, hoping it would quiet the storm raging inside her.
Around her, the squabbles of her employees echoed unnervingly. “Can you believe she didn’t even check that last batch?” one voice scoffed. “I’m not staying late for her mess,” another replied snippily. Carla’s heart raced; their snappy comments ricocheted off the walls like ping-pong balls, further fraying her already strained nerves.
It was too much. Each criticism felt like another weight added to the burden she was already struggling to bear. Clenching her fists on the desk, she stood up abruptly once again, her chair scraping harshly against the floor this time, a sound that seemed to amplify the chaos around her. Eyes turned toward her, faces filled with surprise and confusion, as she swung open her office door with a force fueled by desperation and frustration.
“Get out! Everyone out! We’re done for the day!” she shouted, the command cutting through the air like a knife, disrupting the murmur of complaints and the atmosphere of contention that surrounded her. Carla’s heart raced, urgency flooding her words, as a sense of powerless dread settled in. She could no longer cope with the mounting pressure of her impending court date and the turmoil simmering in her workplace. All she wanted was a moment of silence—if only to collect herself before facing the reckoning that awaited her.
Surprise mixed with concern flickered across their faces as they exchanged bewildered glances.
“Paid?” Sally ventured hesitantly, her brow furrowed with confusion.
“Yes, paid, Sally! Just go! I need you all to leave in the next 30 seconds!” The urgency in Carla’s voice was palpable, her heart racing with desperation.
Meanwhile, just outside, Lisa was walking toward her car when she noticed the workers pouring out of the factory like bees from a disturbed hive, murmurs of discontent and confusion wafting through the air. “What a moody cow,” she overheard, a pit of worry forming in her stomach. Why were they leaving so early? Something didn’t feel right, and an instinct to check on her friend urged her forward.
Determined and concerned, Lisa turned her steps toward the factory. She watched as the group moved towards The Rovers, their expressions a mix of relief and confusion. Crossing the road, her heart pounded as she pushed through the factory door. The moment she stepped inside, she was struck by the eerie silence that enveloped her. It was a stark contrast to the vibrant, bustling atmosphere she witnessed the last time she was here.
Cautiously, Lisa made her way toward Carla's office, each step accompanied by an overwhelming sense of dread. When she finally reached the door, the sight of Carla sitting with her head cradled in her hands sent a wave of heartbreak coursing through her. With a gentle knock, she called out softly, “Carla?”
“Get out! I told you all to go away!” Carla's voice erupted in frustration, jagged and raw, a reflection of the storm brewing inside her.
“Carla, it’s me.” Lisa’s voice trembled as she stepped into the office, determined to break through the wall of despair surrounding her friend.
Carla’s head shot up, surprise flashing across her features before it quickly melted into a mask of vulnerability. “Sorry, Lisa. I thought it was Sally coming back for round two.” Despite her weakened state, Carla managed to offer a small smile, but it felt fragile, like it could shatter at any moment.
“Is everything okay?” Lisa asked, her heart clenching as she moved closer to the desk, desperate to bridge the gap between them, to reach through Carla’s wall of sadness.
But at the sound of her soft voice, tears welled in Carla’s eyes, overflowing with a torrent of emotions she could no longer contain. Suddenly, her composure crumbled, and sobs racked her body, each one like a jagged rock tumbling from a hill, unleashing a flood she couldn’t hold back any longer.
Without thinking, Lisa rushed to her side, enveloping her in a firm embrace, feeling the heat of Carla’s despair seep into her own skin. “Hey… shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay,” she murmured, instinctively rocking Carla back and forth as if trying to soothe the storm within.
In that moment, Lisa questioned her choice to comfort Carla so intimately. They hadn’t known each other long, but as she held her friend tightly, her heart ached to see Carla in such distress. Surprisingly, it felt as natural as breathing, as if this embrace was the missing piece she had been searching for in her life—like finding a long-lost home, a safe haven after three agonising years of emptiness.
As Carla’s sobs began to diminish, Lisa held her close, silently promising to be there through the storm, to weather whatever chaos loomed ahead. In the quiet, Lisa finally decided to speak again. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Carla leaned into Lisa’s comforting embrace, the warmth of friendship enveloping her like a protective cocoon. Trying to keep more tears at bay, she took a shaky breath, her voice small and vulnerable. “I’m just so worried about my court date. I keep replaying that night in my head, and I can’t help but think… what if they don’t understand?”
Lisa gently pulled back, looking into Carla’s eyes and wiping the tears away from her face with her thumb. “You have to remember that you’ve learned from this,” she said softly. “The judge will see that you’re taking responsibility. It might not be easy, but you’re stronger than you think.”
“I just… I don’t know what to expect,” Carla confessed, her apprehension swirling like a tempest within her. “What if I lose everything? My job, my life… I can’t go back to how things were before.”
“Hey,” Lisa soothed, her eyes steady and reassuring. “Whatever happens, you won’t go through this alone. I’ll support you no matter what. We’ll face it together. You’ve got this.” Her heart raced a little at the thought of being there for Carla, feeling an undeniable connection that stirred something deep within her.
Carla looked up, curiosity sparking through her fear. “But why are you being so nice to me? Aren’t you supposed to be the one putting me away?”
Lisa hesitated for a moment, the truth teetering on her lips. Because I’m drawn to you? Because you make me feel things that I haven’t felt since Becky? Instead, she chose to keep it simple, a soft smile gracing her face as she replied, “Because we’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Friends,” Carla echoed, the word reverberating in the air between them, laden with unspoken feelings that both women could feel but had yet to express. The kindness in Lisa’s voice felt like a promise, a lifeline amidst the storm.
“Definitely,” Lisa affirmed, her heart fluttering at the thought. “And friends look out for each other, especially in tough times. You’ve been there for me too—remember?”
“Yeah, I remember,” Carla replied, a faint smile breaking through her worry.
Lisa nodded, her eyes softening. “Exactly. And just like you’re feeling vulnerable now, I have my moments too. We can lean on each other, okay?”
The words hung there, a silent agreement that if nothing else, they would navigate this chaos together. The unspoken bond between them felt palpable, almost electric, as both women realised they were on the cusp of something profound—something that transcended the confines of mere friendship.
Lisa enveloped Carla in another heartfelt hug, the warmth wrapping around them. However, as she pulled back slightly to gauge Carla’s emotions, her gaze flicked to the open bottle of whiskey on the desk, and a wave of worry washed over her.
Concern took over her features, and she met Carla’s eyes, her heart aching at the sight of her friend’s internal struggle.
Carla, sensing Lisa's shift in demeanor, sighed deeply. “Please, Lisa, I don’t need a lecture. Not today.”
“I’m not here to lecture you,” Lisa insisted gently, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “It’s just… if you’re feeling the urge to drink, I’d rather you do it with me than alone.”
Caught off guard, Carla let out a self-deprecating chuckle. “What? So you can keep an eye on me?”
Lisa shook her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips despite the gravity of the situation. “No, I’m not babysitting you. Remember? You were the one who suggested we grab a drink before... well, before everything went sideways. I’d just like to take you up on that offer, if it’s still on the table.”
Carla paused, allowing Lisa’s words to sink in. The idea of stepping back into the world outside her worries, even just for a drink with a friend, felt oddly comforting. “You really want to go for a drink with me?” she asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty.
“Of course,” Lisa replied earnestly, her eyes sparkling with sincerity. “Bistro?.”
Carla nodded in response. The glimmer of hope in Lisa's eyes sparked something within her. Maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to navigate this tumultuous sea alone.
As they stood to leave, a sudden thought struck Lisa, causing her to halt abruptly. “Wait,” she said, her voice a mix of urgency and uncertainty.
Carla turned, an eyebrow raised in puzzlement, curiosity bubbling to the surface. “What is it?”
Lisa stepped closer, her heart pounding in her chest as she gathered her courage. With a gentle touch, she reached up and carefully wiped a smudge of mascara from Carla’s cheek. The unexpected intimacy sent a jolt of surprise through Carla, leaving her both intrigued and slightly flustered.
“Mascara…” Lisa began, her voice wavering, cheeks flushing a soft shade of pink. “I didn’t want you walking into the Bistro looking like someone had, uh, thrown a punch at you or something.”
A nervous giggle escaped Lisa’s lips, breaking the tension in the air. Carla found herself smiling, warmth spreading through her as laughter bubbled up between them, momentarily easing the weight of the situation. With each shared laugh, the awkwardness transformed into something more genuine—a comfortable familiarity in their vulnerabilities.
“Thanks for that,” Carla replied, her heart softening. “I suppose I was a bit of a mess. Just goes to show how rattled I am. I may need you as my personal makeup artist more often!”
“Oh gosh, I’m hardly a professional!” Lisa laughed, her voice laced with playful exaggeration. “I’ve learned a thing or two from all those makeup tutorials I’ve seen Bets watching but I’m the last person you should take beauty tips from!”
The lighthearted banter hung in the air. As they walked toward the Bistro, the camaraderie felt revitalising—a reminder that despite the awkwardness and the challenges ahead, they had each other to lean on.
———————
Carla and Lisa slid into a cozy booth at the bistro, the ambient noise swirling around them, creating a backdrop for their intimate conversation. Lisa eagerly poured two glasses of wine, the deep red liquid glistening under the soft lights, and placed the bottle on the table between them.
“Okay, spill it. What’s really going on with you?” Lisa leaned in, her voice low and concerned, her eyes locking onto Carla's. “You look defeated. This isn’t the Carla who argued with me for months. You look like you’ve lost your fight.”
The weight of Lisa’s words hung in the air, puncturing Carla’s carefully constructed facade. Something shifted in her expression, a flicker of vulnerability crossing her face. “Wow, thanks for being so blunt,” she replied, a defensive edge creeping into her voice.
Lisa's heart raced; she quickly backtracked. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to overstep. I just… I care, you know?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t look me up on that computer of yours, after you arrested me,” Carla shot back, her tone half-joking but layered with a hint of seriousness.
Lisa smirked, amused, and shrugged playfully. “I couldn’t possibly say,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Carla huffed a bittersweet laugh, shaking her head lightly. “Well, let’s just say I’ve had a colourful past. I think I’ve been given more chances than I deserve,” she admitted, her voice deflating as she took a sip of her wine.
Lisa noticed the weight of Carla’s words and leaned in slightly. “What do you mean by that?….. Sorry, you don’t have to tell me.”
Carla shrugged, trying to deflect. “It’s just… complicated. A lot of mistakes, I guess.”
Lisa sensed the heaviness in the air and offered a gentle smile. “You know, sometimes sharing those mistakes can lighten the load. I’d be happy to share my own too.”
“Really? I can’t imagine you’ve made many mistakes. You know, being a detective.” Carla asked, intrigued but cautious.
Lisa sighed deeply, her brow furrowing with the weight of her thoughts. “Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about Bex lately,” she began, her voice tinged with regret. “Our last conversation turned into a massive fight. I said things I didn’t truly mean, and it all just spiraled out of control. I can’t shake the feeling that I’ll never forgive myself for it.”
Carla’s heart ached at Lisa’s pain. She reached across the table, her touch gentle as she stroked Lisa’s arm. “What happened?” she asked, her voice filled with empathy.
Lisa gazed into her drink, struggling to find the strength to speak. “We argued about work. She was a bobby, but studying to be a detective. We were talking through a case of mine and she was telling me how i’d overlooked something. And i was on my high horse, explaining how she was wrong. She said i was patronising her….. and then off she went to work.”
“She died on duty?” Carla asked softly, the reality of the situation hitting her hard.
Lisa nodded, a tear escaping and trailing down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, but the emotion in her voice was unmistakable. “I never got the chance to tell her she was right… about the case. My pride got in the way, and now it's too late.”
Carla’s heart broke for her friend. “I’m so sorry, Lisa. I really am. That must be incredibly hard to carry.” She took a sip of her wine, attempting to veil her own growing anguish, recalling her last conversation with Liam before his tragic death. It dawned on her then—she and Lisa shared a deeper connection than she had initially realised.
“Yeah. It’s been weighing heavily on me,” Lisa admitted, her eyes glistening as she fought back more tears. “But I’m trying to work through it. I know we all have our struggles, but this one… it’s like a ghost that won’t let me rest.”
Carla nodded in solidarity, feeling the bond of their shared grief deepen amidst their unspoken losses.
As they slipped back into conversation, Carla felt herself slowly opening up. Finally, she took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly. “I used to have a drinking problem,” she confessed, her gaze drifting away. “Peter helped me control it. He understood… but now that he’s gone…”
Lisa leaned in, her expression softening, silently encouraging Carla to continue.
Carla hesitated, feeling tears prick at her eyes. “I guess I’ve slipped back into it. It’s like his presence kept me in check, and now…” She trailed off, her gaze falling to her wine glass, as though searching for answers within.
Lisa’s heart ached for her. She felt a pull of compassion, wanting to reach over and offer comfort but not wanting to overwhelm her. “Oh, Carla…..You’re not alone in this,” Lisa said gently, her voice steady, filled with sincerity. “Even though we haven’t known each other long, I want to be here for you—if you’d let me.”
As Carla met Lisa’s gaze, the world around them faded, and in that electric moment, something profound shifted within her. The protective walls she had meticulously built started to crumble, each brick slipping away like a long-buried truth. “I… I’d like that,” she whispered, vulnerability lacing her words, as a solitary tear broke free, tracing a path down her cheek. “I’ve felt so lost.”
Lisa’s gentle smile warmed the air between them, her hand reaching across the table to envelope Carla’s in a comforting squeeze. “Then we’ll figure it out together. I’ve got you,” she promised, her voice steady and reassuring, wrapping Carla in a cocoon of compassion.
In that shared moment, two women began to forge an unbreakable connection amidst the chaos swirling in their lives. The suffocating darkness that seemed to blanket Carla began to lift ever so slightly, revealing a spark of hope.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Lisa was the first to speak again. “Have you thought about counselling?” She asked, her tone gentle but probing.
Carla’s reaction was almost instinctual—she let out a startled laugh, disbelief spilling from her lips. “Me… Counselling? Can you imagine?” The idea felt absurd, a world she could never inhabit.
But Lisa’s eyes bore into her, penetrating the mask Carla wore so well. “Yes, I can actually,” she replied softly, her voice tinged with empathy. “Carla… you don’t have to put on a front with me, you know.”
“I’m not,” Carla shot back, but her voice wavered as she turned away, unable to meet Lisa’s steady, penetrating gaze. It felt as if Lisa could see right into her soul, unraveling the painful truths she had hidden away.
“I know you put on a brave face, acting like you’re untouched by the chaos, but I see you, Carla. I see all of you,” Lisa said, her voice thick with sincerity. “And there’s no shame in reaching for help. It might not work, it might feel pointless, but please… just humor me.”
“Do you seriously want me to go to counselling?” The incredulity in Carla’s voice was unmistakable, a mixture of fear and disbelief.
“Yes,” Lisa affirmed with unwavering resolve. “You know… after Bex, I had counselling for a while, and honestly, it didn’t help me much. I could barely string together thoughts to get through the day, let alone spill my heart to a stranger. But it’s been three years since I lost her, and I’ve been contemplating going back myself. I want to see if it might be different this time. It’s worth a shot, right?”
“Yeah, I guess…” Carla’s response was soft, barely a whisper, as a flicker of possibility ignited within her. Slowly, she felt like she was opening up to the idea, allowing the warmth of Lisa’s steadfast support to nudge her toward healing.
————————————
As the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the Bistro, Lisa and Carla slipped into comfortable silence after an hour of deep conversation. They had shared their struggles, baring their souls in a way that felt both cathartic and vulnerable, strengthening the bond between them with each revelation.
Without even thinking about it, Lisa fell into step beside Carla as they left the cozy establishment, their footsteps syncing naturally on the cobblestone path leading back to Carla’s flat. Carla found solace in the company; she didn’t say much, grateful for the presence of someone who understood her turmoil. The world around them faded as they walked side by side, their hands brushing against each other occasionally, sending small jolts through both women—sparks of energy that neither of them dared to acknowledge.
As they approached Carla’s building, the comfort of their earlier conversation seemed to dissipate, replaced by an awkward tension that hovered in the cool night air. Both women hesitated at the threshold, their minds racing with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
“So, um, thanks for tonight,” Carla ventured, searching for the right words.
“Yeah, thanks too,” Lisa replied, her voice slightly shaky.
Silence enveloped them, thick and heavy. They stole glances at one another, both realising the intimacy of the moment but unsure how to navigate it.
“I guess this is me then,” Carla pointed at the door, attempting to lighten the mood, though her heart didn’t quite get the memo.
Lisa took a breath, her body subconsciously leaning toward Carla. “Right…” She rubbed the back of her neck, a gesture of nervousness, before fumbling with her thoughts. “Um, take care of yourself.”
“Sure… I will.” Carla nodded, her own heart racing at the uncertainty, feeling the weight of unspoken connection lingering between them.
After a moment's hesitation, Lisa stepped forward and pulled Carla into an embrace, both women seeking comfort in the warmth they shared. The hug lingered longer than they intended—an unguarded moment where the world blurred away, and the problems of the day faded into the background.
As they finally pulled away, Lisa searched Carla's eyes, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Bye then,” she said, the words hanging in the air as she turned to walk away.
“Bye…” Carla whispered, watching Lisa's figure retreat into the night.
Before Carla could close the door behind her, she glanced over her shoulder, and in that fleeting moment, their eyes met. A charged glance passed between them, electric and full of unspoken possibilities. The connection crackled in the air, both aware that something had shifted beneath the surface.