I've Had Enough
Sirius was standing on the platform next to Druella. She smiled softly as she crouched down next to him.
“How are you feeling?”
The boy shrugged. His eyes were matt and exhausted and he looked as if he had given up. Druella raised her eyebrows.
“Sirius.”
“I’m fine. A bit sore.”
She sighed and nodded.
“Alright. Go to your friends now. And don’t forget to write to me once in a while.”
Sirius glanced over to where James, Remus and Peter were standing with their parents. A shiver went through his body and he shook his head.
“No. I’m not going back to them.”
Druella’s eyes widened slightly.
“Sirius. What…?”
“I’ve had enough, aunt Druella. That rebellious episode of mine? It’s over. Father was right when he said that I will only get myself in trouble. From now on, I’m going to be a good son.”
Then his expression softened a bit.
“I’ll write.”
And, ignoring her tearful eyes, he turned around and walked over to where Bellatrix was standing with Narcissa, Lucius and the Lestrange brothers. His walking was a bit unsteady and it was clear that he was in pain. Bella glanced over to her mother and, when the woman shook her head, threw her arm around Sirius’ shoulders and pulled him close to herself. He went willingly. Malfoy raised his eyebrows at that but one glare from Bellatrix stopped his questions. They were getting onto the train when they heard a voice behind them.
“Hey, Sirius!”
The boy turned around towards James.
“What do you want, Potter?”
His voice was cold and made James stop dead in his tracks.
“Um…”
Remus quickly took over, seeing that James was completely lost.
“We were wondering if you’re riding with us.”
For a long moment, Sirius just stared at him. Then, suddenly, Dorea walked over to them.
“Sirius, may I have a word with you in private?”
Bellatrix, who was still next to Sirius, lifted her arm off of his shoulders. He glanced over to her and she shrugged. Very slowly, he turned back to the woman and nodded. Dorea led him away from the others and crouched down to get to his level.
“Sirius. I got word from Druella about what happened with your grandfather.”
Sirius paled considerably, but his voice was steady when he answered.
“Nothing happened. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She frowned slightly.
“Don’t. Please. I know what it’s like in that house. I…”
Before she could continue, he moved closer to her and said, in a cold voice:
“You don’t know anything. You don’t know what it’s like to almost die at your own grandfather’s hand. You don’t know what it’s like to never be good enough for your mother. You don’t know what it’s like to live in constant fear that your brother could fall victim to a punishment that could kill him. You don’t know anything. So leave me alone, you filthy blood traitor.”
Then he turned around and walked back to the group. He grabbed Bellatrix’ arm and pulled her inside the train, leaving the three shocked boy’s on the platform.
Remus turned his head towards Sirius.
“Why…?”
“I altered this memory. And the ones after this too. You don’t have to do anything, from now on. It’ll play itself. Including parts that I never told you about.”
Slowly, the werewolf nodded and Sirius turned to Orion’s painting.
“Were you proud of me back then, father?”
There was so much anger in that one word, that Arthur, who was sitting next to Sirius, felt the need to move away. Orion shook his head.
“No.”
That seemed to actually shock Sirius.
“What? How could you not… I acted exactly like you wanted me to!”
The man nodded.
“Yes. And I think that’s the problem. You lost your spark.”
Sirius threw his hands up into the air.
“Great. I go against you, you hate me. I do what you say, you hate me. Why did you even keep me?”
“Because…”
“If you give me that ‘because you are my son’ crap again, I’m going to set this house on fire.”
Everyone’s eyes widened. None of them, except for Remus, had seen Sirius so angry. Orion rolled his eyes.
“No. That’s not what I was going to say. I kept you, because you were mine. Don’t you get it Sirius? No one, except for Walburga and me, knew that Regulus wasn’t my child. I could have killed you and made him my heir. But I didn’t, because I saw potential in you. I didn’t, because I wanted you there.”
“Because you love him?”
Hermione’s quiet voice cut through Orion’s angry one and everyone’s eyes turned towards her. Orion shook his head.
“No. Love is for fools. It only hurts you. Takes your will to live away. Don’t it, Sirius?”
Sirius cast a murderous look towards him, while Remus suddenly gasped.
“You.”
The animagi turned to him.
“I, what?”
“You and Marlene. You never split up.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Sirius shook his head.
“No. We didn’t.”
Remus looked between him and the portrait.
“But how come he knows, but we didn’t?”
Suddenly, Sirius looked very guilty.
“James knew. And Lily. I think Peter suspected it because of all the hints I was dropping. I didn’t tell you because…”
He hesitated and Remus actually growled.
“You didn’t trust me. After all we went through together, you thought I would turn my back on you.”
Sirius groaned.
“Just think about it Moony. Someone was giving out information about us to Voldemort. Someone was selling us out. Someone who was very close to all of us since he or she had all the knews. It couldn’t be James or Lily. I would have been dead, if it was one of them. It wasn’t Marlene. She wasn’t leaving the house. It was either you or Pete. And I just couldn’t imagine Peter being able to keep such a secret. You were the only candidate left. I thought… I thought that maybe you had gotten sick of us. That maybe you found a better option. I didn’t tell anyone about my suspicions, and I didn’t ask any questions. But, being it the position that I was in, I couldn’t trust you anymore. My life wasn’t the only one at stake. If I had been right, and it was you, I would have gotten many people killed. If I was wrong, and it was someone else, I would risk losing you as a friend. I couldn’t say anything.”
For a long moment, silence stretched out over the kitchen. Then, Remus met Sirius’ eyes and asked in a low voice:
“Did the others…”
“No.”
Sirius’s answer cut off his question.
“No. I was the only one who suspected you. I shared my thoughts with Marlene and she locked me out of the house for five days. After that, I didn’t bring it up with anyone.”
Remus shook his head.
“Why didn’t you just ask me, Padfoot? After all we’ve been through together.”
Sirius just shrugged helplessly and turned back to the others. Understanding that it was time for questions Molly took the opportunity to say something first.
“Why did you treat her like that? She was clearly only trying to help you.”
For a moment, Sirius just stared at her in disbelief. The he shook his head.
“Seriously, woman. Didn’t you understand any of what was being said? Grandfather almost killed me.”
Before it could escalate, Snape leaned forwards a bit.
“Black? I have one question.”
Sirius nodded.
“What happened to Bellatrix? I mean, she looks pretty sane in these clips.”
The fury that appeared in Sirius’ eyes made Arthur actually move his chair away from him this time. The Black whipped his wand out and pointed it at Snape.
“You dare to even ask what it was when it was all…”
“Sirius Orion Black! Sit and calm down!”
Orion’s voice carried over Sirius’ and, against his will, Sirius’ body obeyed. He sat down heavily and threw Snape a glare that said: ‘I’m not done with you’ before he sighed and turned back towards the wall.
“Nex one.”
And the next clip played.