You Know Where To Go
The four boys were sitting on their beds in the dorm. Sirius was staring into a book, trying to ignore the others. Remus was reading too, but he kept glancing up at James and Sirius. Peter was looking nervously between the two boys. James was glaring at Sirius. After a whole minute, Sirius slammed his book closed.
“What is it, Potter?”
James looked shocked at his tone, but collected himself quickly.
“I saw my mom’s face after you talked to her. What did you tell her?”
Sirius shrugged.
“The truth. Nothing she hasn’t heard before.”
James stood up from the bed and started advancing towards the young Black. Remus and Peter exchanged a worried glance.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
James’ voice was getting angry and Sirius sighed.
“Lupin, Pettigrew. Could you leave us alone?”
It looked as if Remus wanted to say something, but Peter had already nodded. He stood up, grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him out of the dorm. James was still glaring at Sirius.
“What did you tell her, Black?”
“I told her that she is a filthy blood traitor and that I didn’t want her help.”
The punch was expected, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Sirius put his hand up to his nose. It wasn’t bleeding so he relaxed. James shook his head.
“You know what? I don’t understand you. In the beginning, you seemed to be a nice guy. You were like a brother to me. And then you called Lily a… a mudblood. I was mad, but I understood that you didn’t know better. It got better, but then your parents showed up and you were suddenly changed. Some time after that you got better again. Now you’ve been home for some time and came back acting as if you hate us. What’s really going on, Sirius?”
Grey eyes looked up at him. Sirius looked suddenly very tired. James must’ve noticed it, because the anger disappeared from his face. He sat down on Sirius’ bed and asked quietly:
“What happened when you went home?”
Sirius seemed to be battling with himself, before he stood up and pulled his shirt off. He turned his back towards James and the boy gasped when he noticed the welts on his back. A few seconds later, Sirius pulled the shirt back on and sat down, groaning quietly.
“What happened?”
Sirius dragged in a deep breath.
“Grandfather. I’m not even sure what he was most angry about.”
“He beat you up?”
Sirius sighed.
“He… He broke my spine. Aunt Druella saved my life. But she couldn’t do everything. I still have trouble walking and moving too quickly.”
James was white as a sheet but he stayed calm.
“But why did you push us away?”
“Because I’m tired, James. I’m tired of being the freak of the family. I’m tired of always being beaten up by grandfather because I’m not exactly like he wants me to be. I’m scared that I will end up like the people in my family that turned away from our motto. I know that they are crazy. My own mother cut off the head of our old house elf because he accidentally spilled a few drops of her tea. My grandfather keeps beating up everyone that steps a single toe out of line. There is nothing normal about us. But they are my family. I can’t just turn away from them.”
James sighed. For a moment, it seemed as if he didn’t know what to say. But then he turned his head towards Sirius again.
“You know that getting out of there doesn’t have to be bad, right? I mean, just look at my mom. She got out, married my dad, had me. She is happy.”
Sirius closed his eyes and shook his head.
“I think that is why I have trouble with her. Your mother, she is the proof that there is another way. And it’s freaking me out. That what I have grown up believing is wrong. That… That I don’t fit in.”
They sat in silence, until James put his arm around Sirius’ shoulders.
“Listen, mate. I’m not going to say that I understand your situation. I really don’t. But I promise that, if you ever decide to leave your house, you can come home to me and live with us. You’re welcome there. I’m sure my parents won’t say anything. My mom likes you. And dad is the best. So, if you ever need someplace to stay, you know where to go.”
Sirius was just staring at him with wide eyes.
“Um. Say something. Scream. Punch me?”
Before he even realized what happened, Sirius turned around and pulled him into a hug. James hugged him back hesitantly.
“You alright?”
Sirius nodded into his shoulder before he let go of the other boy. James seemed to get even more nervous when he noticed that Sirius was crying.
“Good tears or bad tears?”
Sirius smiled.
“Good. I… I didn’t expect that.”
He glanced over to where James’ owl was sitting in her cage.
“Um. James. Can I borrow your owl? I need to apologize to a certain person.”
James grinned widely and nodded.
“Sure. But I think we should call Remus and Pete back. They must be worried that we are going to kill each other.”
The clip ended and everyone turned to Sirius. He grinned towards the wall where the picture of James still was visible, before he turned to Harry.
“And that is why James and me were so close.”
Minerva smiled softly.
“You two were really close. Whatever happened. You were always together.”
“Sadly.”
Sirius was turning towards Snape, when Orion spoke up.
“Was that when you got the brilliant idea of running away?”
Harry, Ron and Hermione all stared at Sirius in shock. He ran away from home? The man shook his head.
“No. Not really. It was never my plan. But then IT happened and I didn’t see any other choice. My plan was to stay until I turned 17 and then move out. Do it all legally. But that night pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t stay anymore.”
Molly tilted her head.
“What happened?”
Next to Sirius, Remus tensed up. But the Black was still relaxed.
“It will come up. We have a few more years to get through first. You’ll just have to wait.”
Remus put a hand on his shoulder.
“Padfoot. You don’t have to show them those memories. I wasn’t going to.”
Sirius shrugged.
“It’s alright.”
“You know what will happen once they find out, right?”
Another shrug.
“I don’t care.”
He waved his hand towards the wall, and the next clip started. Hermione, who had been keeping her eyes on Sirius even after is started, noticed how he glanced back to his father’s portrait. There was actual fear in his eyes for a few seconds before Orion raised his eyebrows and made a slight move with his head. For some reason, it seemed to actually calm Sirius down, because he nodded and turned back to the wall. Hermione glanced over to the portrait and almost jumped when she was met with a pair of cold grey eyes. Orion frowned and seemed to think about something very hard, before he turned away from her and moved his eyes back to the wall.