The Kitchens

Remus wakes up warm.

There is a plush pillow beneath his head—two, he thinks—, a heavy quilt over his bare body, and a toasty, sleeping boy pressed fully to his back. He can feel Sirius’ breaths against his neck, feel where his lips are just barely pressed there, even in sleep. His mind wanders vaguely to the thought of what time it might be, that he’ll be needed downstairs, but he cannot bring himself to care. He blinks his eyes open, and looks around the vast room. To think that, every single day, Sirius lives like this, in this, is…something. Quite something. Everything is dark and gleaming. The bed is probably the most comfortable thing Remus has ever, and will ever, lay on. He looks at the tables of food that they’d barely touched, waiting, then the delicate pile of Sirius’ fine clothes that he’d all but ripped off of him the night before. He bites his lip at the thought.

“I can feel you thinking…”

Remus smiles at the sleep-slurred words that come from behind him, chest warming at the rasp in Sirius’ voice.

Is this what you sound like every morning?

Will I ever find out?

Remus closes his eyes briefly, willing away the ache, and turns in Sirius’ arms, being greeted almost instantly by a hot kiss. Remus tilts his chin forward into it, melting into the heat of Sirius’ hands, feeling their way down his rib cage to his hips, his arse. It doesn’t even feel sexual, just touching… maybe loving.

“Did you sleep well?” Sirius asks in that same voice. Remus curls his toes beneath the blankets.

“Mm.” He hums, “This bed is…” He trails off, shaking his head.

Sirius smiles sleepily. His bruises and cuts look slightly better this morning. One half of his smile is smushed against the pillow, the other causing a dimple do appear on his cheek, “Goose feathers.”

Remus lets out a laugh, allowing one of his legs to be hooked over Sirius’ hip, bringing him closer, “I’m almost positive mine’s full of hay. Hay that I get allergic to in the warmer months.”

Sirius lets out a long, content sounding breath, fingers trailing softly up and down Remus’ thigh, “I can fix that.”

Remus raises an eyebrow, “Yes, because no one will notice new bedding being moved into my room.”

Sirius blinked slowly at him, smile still in place, “Who said you’d be staying in your room?”

Remus blinked, “I… Wh-“

“Because I have a better idea.” Sirius was suddenly rolling on top of him, speaking only between the many kisses he was peppering over Remus’ face, “I want—to wake up—like this every—single—morning—“ He ended with a firmer one on Remus’ lips, both of them grinning into it, “until the end of time.”

Remus let his hands find the small of Sirius’ back, feeling the warmth radiate off his skin, “That’s a pretty long time.”

Sirius shook his head, nose brushing Remus’, “Not long enough.”

And all Remus could do was let himself be kissed and kissed and kissed, taking pleasure in the sounds he drew out of Sirius’, until a new sound cause their eyes to fly open.

A crash raised from the door, and they jumped apart, hands going for the blankets, pulling them higher across their bodies. Remus felt Sirius grip his hand under the sheets.

James stood there, wide-eyed, breakfast tray at his feet, food and broken porcelain mingling on one of the fine rugs, coincidentally, by Sirius’ discarded crown.

The air felt that it had disappeared from the room as the three boys stared at one another, silent, un-moving. Remus’ chest felt tight as cold, oozing dread replaced the radiating warmth that was there just a moment ago. They’d been caught, found out. Remus felt like he was watching it happen, right next to him, all of them looking back and forth, not knowing what would happen, who would move, who would speak first.

He looked at Sirius next to him who looked more worried than scared, then back at James. James’ mouth was open a little in shock, hands poised in front of him as if they were still holding Sirius’ breakfast tray. Remus watched his throat bob around a swallow, then his eyes glance downward, “Um. Sorry. I dropped that.”

He said it like a simple observation. No one moved. Then, James cleared his throat, “I should- Um. Sorry-“ He crouched down to clean the mess, then seemed to think better of it, and was up against in a second, “Actually, maybe not. I’ll be just-“ He couldn’t seem to stop gesturing to vague parts of the room and himself with his hands, “I’ll just-“

As he turned for the door Sirius seemed to snap out of it, springing from the bed and only barely able to cover himself with the throw blanket at the end of the mattress, “James, no. Wait-“ He wobbled a bit with the effort of trying to stop his friend from leaving and secure the blanket around his waist at the same time.

James turned back around slowly, biting the inside of his cheek. Sirius opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, suddenly at a loss for words. James’ eyes, for the first time, flicked towards Remus. Remus wanted to fold in on himself. He pulled the blankets up higher, then froze at the look James was giving him back. There was no judgement in his eyes. No anger. Even most of the shock had faded away.

“Hello, Remus.” James offered an awkward little wave.

Remus blinked, then rose his hand a little in return, “Hi.”

Sirius looked between them, “Are you two friends?”

James rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh, “Sirius, honestly.”

Sirius glared at him, then it softened and he shook his head a little in realization, “No- Oh. I suppose because you both work down- Wait, I didn’t mean it like… Sorry, right. That was…”

“Idiotic?” James supplied, then, with a smile in his voice, “But, then again, I’ll let it slide. I suppose you’re a little sleep deprived.”

Remus coughed a little, face becoming hot. He was still a little caught up on how easily Sirius had taken James’ eye roll.

Sirius eyed him, re-tying the blanket around his waist then crossing his arms, “You seem very… calm. About this.”

James nudged some of the broken plate shards with his foot, “Well, if I’m being honest I sort of… figured.”

Remus’ head snapped towards him, “What?” Then he looked at Sirius, as they had said the word at the same time.

“Not about you two.” James explained quickly, “Just about it maybe being a bloke. For you.” He nodded at Sirius, “You were pretty secretive, mate. With the First Bloom stuff, I mean. I mean if it was a girl I figured you would have walked out with her… I don’t know, it was just a guess. A hunch. I don’t know why…”

Sirius nodded, still looking a little worried. He opened and closed his mouth a few more times until James sighed, “Your diction is just astounding, your majesty-“

“Fuck off.” Sirius glared but he was smiling a little, “I just… You’re not…” Sirius closed his eyes and let out a breath through his nose, saying slowly, “Most people…”

James seemed to understand, eyes softening, loosing the teasing tone, “Of course I’m fine with it. You’re my best mate, I don’t… I don’t care who your with as long as your happy.”

Remus felt his heart warm a little, and he looked back to Sirius’ face to see it considerably more relaxed, relieved.

James ran a hand through his hair, finally leaning down and scooping the broken breakfast onto the tray it had come on, “Besides, I’d much rather walk in on this than you being all bloodied up by her royal fucking highness-“

Sirius made a sound like an over-exaggerated throat clearing, a panicked need to stop James’ speech in its tracks. James looked up at the same time as Remus’ heart sank. He felt the color drain from his face as he realized what James had just said. He opened his mouth to say something but found he couldn’t.

James looked at Sirius, eyes asking a silent question, before they flicked to Remus and he understood, rising and standing there uncomfortably for the second time in less than five minutes.

He held the tray tightly, “I, um… I’ll get this downstairs, then. Why don’t you just tell me when you want breakfast instead of…” He cleared his throat, “Right, okay.”

The room was once again silent when James left, and Remus waited patiently for an explanation. The shock of being found out seems dim now in comparison to this newer revelation. And Remus feels it, the familiar ache in his chest at seeing Sirius’ face cut up and bruised. But it’s stronger now, accompanied by the knowledge that the bruises aren’t voluntary, they aren’t sport, but a beating. Sirius, in just the time Remus has known him, has taken two beatings.

How many does that make in his lifetime?

Remus swallowed. He didn’t want to know.

He raised up on his knees slowly, stretching his torso until he could reach Sirius’ unmoving hand and tug him back towards the bed. Sirius didn’t put up any resistance, he just seemed to be unwilling to look Remus in the eyes. He allowed the blanket to be pulled free from around his waist and nestled back under the covers. Remus kept a firm hand on his shoulder, just in case he tried to roll onto his back, or worse, face away. But Sirius showed no tension, no fight. He kept his eyes down, cheeks tinged pink. Remus tentatively placed one palm on the right one, feeling the warmth there, both from the healing wound and the embarrassment.

“You could have told me.” Remus said softly, “It’s okay that you didn’t. But just know that you could have.”

“I know.” Sirius said even quieter, lips barely moving. The words were short and clipped in an effort to conceal the tremor in his voice.

Remus brushed his thumb over Sirius’ temple, carefully avoiding the bruise, staying at the edge. His stomach felt sick now, looking at it. Looking at what the hand of his own mother had done, looking at the gash in his cheek that he’d seen once before, identical. Made by the same hand. The same ring.

“Why?”

Sirius huffed a little, “Why not?”

Remus felt every muscle in his body tense, “Wh… What?”

Sirius sighed and this time he did roll over onto his back, staring at the ceiling, “Nothing, I didn’t mean… Nothing.”

Remus pushed himself up onto one forearm, “You should learn not to say things you don’t-“

“I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, I don’t know, maybe…” Sirius closed his eyes against the world, “I don’t know why she does it, okay? I’m not like her, that’s why. I’m not like them. I… I disagree and it embarrasses her. So she… does this.” He opens his eyes, looking at Remus finally, “Fair trade, in her book.”

“Not in mine.” Remus shot back, sitting up farther, “That’s not- I can’t believe… God, I hate this.” Remus was the one to turn away this time, sitting up, fiddling with the blankets in his lap, “She can’t just… She can’t just hurt you.”

Sirius sat up as well, pressing his shoulder to Remus’. Despite his anger, Remus was thankful for the warm gesture, “Yes, she can. Who’s going to stop her?”

“Me.” Remus grumbled, annoyed at the improbability of the statement.

He caught Sirius small smile, “My knight.”

Remus pushed lightly against his shoulder, “Not really. I can’t even lift more than two of the flour sacks at once. I’d probably just… end up shoving moldy bread down her throat and hope she chokes.”

Sirius let out one of his rare laughs then, the kind that starts with a little snort, the real kind. Remus grinned at him for a few moments, then bit the inside of his cheek,

“You don’t… You don’t think James will-“

“Not a chance. He’s my best friend, Re. Has been for forever. He won’t tell.”

Remus nodded, “Okay.” Then again, lighter, “Okay.”

Then he turned, pressed his hands to Sirius’ neck, and kissed him; he kissed his cheeks, kissed each bruise, each cut, and then kissed him again thinking that, if ever he could, he’d be a knight for Sirius. Sirius kissed Remus back thinking that he already was.

~

Sirius is still standing in front of the bookshelf that Remus had disappeared through minutes early when James walks in with a fresh breakfast tray. Sirius sighs and turns, only then finishing tying the shirt that Remus had pulled over his head with a kiss before he left.

“God, you’re like a puppy.”

Sirius tossed a pillow at him with a laugh, only narrowly missing the mug of juice on the tray, “You’re one to talk about puppies. Lily, Lily, Lily-“

“O-kay.” James said breathlessly, “Alright.”

Sirius let them smile comfortably for a moment, watching James set up the tray, laying the silverware out and pouring what looked like orange juice today.

“James.”

“That’s my name.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “I’m trying to talk to you.”

James clicked his tongue, “Yeah, see, I’m not good at talking, this is why I should be in your King’s Guard instead-“

“James.”

James set the pitcher down, “Sorry, sorry.” He straightened, dusting his hands on his dark trousers and looking at Sirius with a soft smile, “It’s just I know you’re about to thank me and you don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do.” Sirius sat on the bed, picking up a piece of bacon, “Remus has been worried about this, I think. Someone finding out. I know it’s a valid thought, but… to have it be you, and for you to so readily accept this… It just means… it means a lot. And you’re… you’re a good friend.”

James sat on the bed too, on the opposite side, “I already gave you my heartfelt speech, so I don’t know what you want me to say, mate.”

Sirius snorted, “I don’t want you to say anything, I just wanted you to know.”

James nodded, “Well, I do support you. Who’s business is it who you love, other than your own?” James smiled at Sirius’ smile, then cleared his throat, bringing a nervous hand to his neck, “In saying that…”

“In saying that…” Sirius prompted.

“Sirius, this is dangerous for you. Even more so for Remus. You have to realize that.”

Sirius straightened, “I do. I do realize that. We’re careful-“

“Sirius, your mother beats you for passing the peas wrong. If she found out, she would have the perfect grounds to dispose of you, something we both know she wants more than anything.” James passed a hand through his hair, “I don’t even want to know what she would do to Remus. He has none of the protection you do.”

Fear started to thrum in Sirius’ chest at the image, “I’d never let anything happen to Remus. I’d sooner die.”

“Well, then you’d have no control over the situation, would you?”

Sirius tossed the bacon back to his plate and flopped down on his back, “We’re careful.”

“I know you are.” James pushed, “I know, I just- I’d hate to see anything happen.” Sirius looked at James’ worried, hazel eyes, “Just keep being careful, okay? Your family is too unpredictable for you to let loose. I’ll even help you, in any way I can, just… keep being careful.”

~

“Why are you in opposition now? After so many days.”

Tarea’s voice was level, but her eyes were sharp and her knuckles were white. Regulus tried his hardest not to rest a comforting hand on his sword.

“It is not opposition. It’s simply a new plan. A better one.”

Her eyes flashed, “Better one?”

“What would be better then slitting his throat?” Bellatrix sneered, “Blood traitor, blood spill.”

There was a murmur from the crowd at the table, a repetition of what was quickly becoming the society’s motto. Regulus felt bile churn in his stomach.

“A more beneficial one.” Regulus chose his words more carefully, “For you,” He nodded at Tarea, then flicked his eyes to Bellatrix, “And your daughter.”

Tarea’s features softened in understanding for a moment, and she sank slowly to her chair, back pin-straight. She folded her long fingers in front of her, lacing them together slowly, like if not done just right they would not fit. It was an eerie sight, “A marriage. You propose a marriage.”

The room was silent, as others processed. Regulus’ heart pounded seemingly out loud. And then Bellatrix screamed, mouth opening wide until her mother whipped her hand up, palm out, silencing her almost immediately.

“No!” She said in much softer but no less harsh tones, “No, mother! He would still be king!” She turned on Regulus, fingernails digging into the wood of the table. Her face shifted in the watery light of the window, warped and mad, “He would still be king, it would not work, it would not be the same!”

“My daughter is right.” Regulus swallowed down the panic in his chest, “A match between her and yourself would be more reasonable. Sirius is only in the way-“

“The villagers favor Sirius.” Regulus let his mouth move of its own accord, praying it said the right thing, “They always have. They would be more accepting in the beginning, thus giving us more power.”

Tarea shook her head, “I do not see how this gives us power.” Her upper lip quirked up in a sneer, “If this is a self-absorbed attempt to save your-“

“You would have power.” Regulus pushed on, standing. “He would be king, but he would not be the one in charge.” Regulus swallowed thickly, placing a hand on his sword, I’m in charge, “Not with something held over his head.”

All eyes snapped to him now, but he only looked at Tarea. He did not blink the entire time the small, sick smile coated her face like a liquid mask. Her fingers were winding together again,

“You wish to blackmail your brother into submission.”

“Yes.” Regulus shifted his eyes around the table. He had their attention. He let his shoulders relax some. He could win this battle now, “There are rumors of a girl. A girl he is keeping hidden. He took someone for First Bloom, that much is known.” A murmur launched around the room and Regulus easily spoke over it, “If she is of low status, this will ruin him, but either way it is before marriage. He will not want this getting out if he is to be king.”

The queen dipped her head silently, continue.

“We will have the favor of the village, and the power you seek. At least for a time. Enough time to make you more money than I would be able to in a lifetime.”

The hall was quiet. All eyes darted between the, not one, but two suddenly prevalent power forces in the room. The elder of the two, finally leaned forward, voice like venom,

“Find the girl.”

Relief flooded Regulus’ chest.

~

Sirius regretted walking into the dining room the instant the door swung shut behind him. One look at the vast table, and he stopped in his tracks.

He’d never admit it, but at that moment he almost would have preferred his mother to be in the room. At least then he’d be able to think up a snide comment to say as he sat down. His little brother, however, who was the sole person seated for dinner so far… He hadn’t the first clue what to say to him.

The brothers stared at each other as Sirius walked slowly to the seat opposite him, holding up his hand to the waiter who tried to pull his seat out for him and did it himself. Regulus’ eyes flickered around to watch the gesture, then down to his plate.

Sirius sat, “Hello to you, too.”

Regulus straightened his posture and Sirius couldn’t help but do the same. Nervous tick, “Hello.”

Sirius rolled his eyes a little, fingers drumming on the table cloth, “Right, well, walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Regulus pressed on the prongs of his fork for something to do, making the handle tap against the table. Sirius kept his eyes on his brother, watching the way his hand twitched with the effort not to bring it to his mouth and bite on his nails. Sirius recognized the old habit instantly.

“So,” He leaned back in his chair, “How is your acquirement going?”

Regulus’ fingers stilled, entire body suddenly not moving. Sirius didn’t even think he was breathing. Then, quietly, “Don’t ask me about that.”

Sirius scoffed, “Why, because mummy isn’t here to hear about it yet?”

“Hold your tongue, Sirius-”

“Why?” Sirius pressed, “Why do you expect me to just sit here while you and your new little friends destroy this kingdom?”

Regulus closed his eyes, “That’s not-“

“It is.” Sirius was almost yelling now, “And I’m not going to let it happen, I won’t-“

“You have to.”

Sirius jolted back in his seat, surprised at the way his brother had matched his volume. Regulus had looked at him in the eye for a moment, pure fire, then pressed a hand over his face, through his hair, “God. I can’t- I can’t talk about this-“ He was gripping the edge of the table now and, finally, his eyes found Sirius and stood there, “Look. I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much-“

Sirius nearly choked, “What? What you did to make me hate you? Are you fucking-“

“But I am the only friend you have here.” His voice dropped to a whisper, leaning forward in his chair, “Sirius, you should see the way the act when your name is mentioned, you have no idea-“

“And you’re working with them?” Sirius hissed back.

Regulus’ face looked almost pained, and he gave his head a fierce, clipped, shake, “I am trying to keep you s-“

“Boys.”

Both brothers straightened instantly at the greeting called out. Regulus looked away from Sirius. He felt dread sink through his veins. He should have allowed more time to tell Sirius, to try to warn him of what was about to happen. He could feel his eyes on him still and looks up again, desperately trying to communicate his unfinished sentence.

I am trying to keep you safe.

And more importantly,

Let me.

And more importantly than that,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

The Queen slid easily into her seat, allowing it to be pull and pushed in for her and a napkin to be placed into her lap, a drink into her hand, “Not arguing again, are we?”

“No, mother.” Regulus says quickly, “No.”

“I’d hope not.” The ice in her glass tinkles as she takes a sip, “Especially not on such a special occasion.”

Regulus’ heart tightens as he sees Sirius’ head snap up out of the corner of his eye. He’d hoped he’d have more time before she brought it up. He was wrong.

“Special occasion?” Sirius tried to sound casual but his voice wavered, just a little, “Not another ball, I hope. Haven’t you displayed your wealth enough?”

Please, Sirius. Regulus begged, Just don’t. Not tonight. Not tonight.

His mother laughed, long and clear, “Oh, you’ll wish it was.”

Regulus kept his eyes trained on Sirius’ face, unable to help it but not exactly wanting to watch either.

Sirius rolled his eyes into his glass, mumbling, “That’ll be the day.”

“Marriage.” His mother crowed, grinning at the way Sirius’ entire body froze.

Regulus dug his fingers into the underside of the table, keeping his back perfectly straight, trying to keep his face the same as he watched Sirius.

Sirius’ eyes lost focus for a moment, staring blankly at the table as he slowly lowered his glass.

“What?” His voice came out hoarse, like his body suddenly lacked the will to function properly, much less speak.

The Queen’s smirk remained as she delicately tonged roasted pheasant onto her plate, “You knew this day was coming, did you not?”

Sirius looked like he was trying not to throw up, lips pressed together until they were nearly white, fists clenched around nothing on top of the table, “Yes.” He managed through clenched teeth. At the tremor in his voice, Regulus realized with a start that maybe he was trying not to cry.

“Alliances must be made, Sirius. And the Lestranges are a powerful family as any-“

Sirius made a choking sound, and he was suddenly standing, “No.” He was glaring, anger replacing his emotion, “Not them. I won’t fucking-“

“Sit down this instant.” Their mother barked, fingers tight against the thin utensils she held. Sirius, slowly and stiffly, like his limbs were rebelling, sat, and she continued, “Now, Bellatrix may be a… unique girl. But her family is ruthless. Powerful. Useful.”

Sirius’ head was bowed, shoulders rising and falling rapidly. Regulus could feel the anger simmering, ready and waiting to boil over.

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

Sirius’ head snapped up, “This is your doing. This is you, isn’t it?”

Regulus could have jumped at the bite in his voice, but he was thankful it was directed at him all the same.

Yes, me, be angry at me. You won’t get hurt that way.

“This is part of your fucking society-”

“This is part of being king.”

Sirius pressed his lips together, staring at Regulus as if he had said the comment and not their mother.

The Queen stood, “You will accept these terms, Sirius. And you will do it quietly. You attract enough attention as it is. Now,” She twisted her ring around her fingers a few times, “Come.”

“Why?” Sirius spat, but his hands were shaking. Regulus’ eyes darted from the still fresh bruise on his cheek to his trembling fingers.

The Queen’s eyes flashed, “You don’t ask questions. Come-“

“Wait.”

Regulus didn’t remember getting to his feet. His mother turned to him, expression warning, eyebrows raised.

“Mother, I’d like to speak to him.” He ignored the scoff from Sirius’ side of the table, “I can… inform him of the society’s reasons. The benefits.”

The Queen, to everyone’s surprise, actually looked taken off guard by Regulus’ initiative. She laced her fingers together gingerly in front of her stomach, straightening her neck and holding up her chin, “You wish to…”

“Yes.” Then hastily, “It’s my job, isn’t it?”

“Y-“ Their mother sniffed, “Yes, I suppose. Very well.” Then she turned, motioning and snapping at servants to bring her dinner to her room. She turned coldly to Sirius, “I’ve been exhausted.”

The door seemed to echo in the silence when it closed behind her. The second it does, Sirius is turning on him.

“What the fuck are you trying to pull? She’s my cousin!”

Regulus sat back down, suddenly feeling too tired to even stand. Now that his mother was gone, his adrenaline seemed to have abandoned him, “It’s very common-“

“Fuck that.” Sirius spat, “I don’t give a damn about money, I don’t give a damn about power, or bloodlines or purity-“

“Exactly!” Regulus sighed, “Exactly, Sirius, and they know that. That’s why you’re in this mess. They know you don’t care and that makes you dangerous.” Sirius sat too, making the table rattle. Regulus leaned forward, “Listen to yourself. You’re the future king and you don’t care about what they care about. They need a way to make you care. And this is it.”

Sirius looked up at that, “This? This is their way to make me care? She’ll be a Queen, that is all! She won’t have power! She won’t have a say! She wouldn’t have that anywhere, especially if she is married to me. This gives them nothing!”

“Not if they can control you.” Regulus said the words quickly, as if they tasted sour.

“Yeah? And how do they plan on doing that-“

Sirius trailed off, eyes narrowing, then shifting over Regulus’ face and widening as if he were seeing him for the first time. He sat back in his chair, lips parted slightly in shock.

“You.” He breathed. He shook his head, “That’s… That’s why they chose you.” A small, disbelieving smile crossed his face, “God. God, you’re going to blackmail me, aren’t you?”

“That’s what I promised them, yes.”

Sirius looked at him, eyes tight, let down. Regulus’ heart hurt, his head hurt, everything hurt and it was all because of that look. Sirius let his hands fall to his lap limply, “And you think it’s me that hates you? With what?”

Regulus grid his teeth against the sting in his eyes, “There’s a girl, isn’t there? A servant girl? A common girl?”

“A sex scandal?” Sirius tried to scoff but there was fear in his eyes. Real fear.

“This was the best deal I could get. I- I needed something to keep myself in their circle. So I could keep some- some sort of control over the situation, I-” Regulus felt like he had been pleading with him for days, “Sirius, they were going to- They wanted to-“

He couldn’t finish, but Regulus could see he understood. Sirius turned from the table, nearly knocking his chair down in his haste to get up, and then stopped a few steps from the door, fists clenched. He didn’t turn back, but looked slightly over his shoulder, jaw prominent. The air was still for a moment, and then,

“You’ve tied me to a fate worse than death. I hope you realize that.”

And then Regulus was sitting alone.