I'm sorry
When she woke seoyeon couldn’t remember a single thing, she had no idea why she was laying in bed, why it felt warmer than usual, why she smelled like a mix of vanilla and alcohol and why she didn’t want to wake up from whatever this heaven was.
Then something behind her moved and seoyeon didn’t freak out because she knew who it was, looking at the state of her dorm right now, yooyeon wasn’t in her bed and the alarms haven’t gone off yet, and seoyeon remembers grabbing the bottle of soju from the fridge and sitting down with a cup on her desk to drink her pain away, she can feel her swelled eyes too and that can only mean one thing, she cried, yooyeon probably woke up in the middle of the night to her broken state, and lulled her back to sleep, that was the only explanation her mind could come up with.
Now she really didn’t want to get up, maybe ever.
On one hand, being in yooyeon’s arms was...nice, warm and even safe, seoyeon wished this can be a daily routine from now on but she can really only wish. On the other hand, she knew what was coming once she woke up, the questions yooyeon is gonna ask, why she went straight to bed, why she was drinking soju, that she still didn’t know where it came from, why she was crying in the middle of the night and probably more.
So seoyeon did what any wise human will do, went back to sleep like her heart wasn’t beating ten times faster, wishing she could stay in that position forever, with yooyeon’s hands around her waist holding her from behind.
Unbeknown to her, yooyeon was awake, wide awake actually, she knew she should’ve probably went back to her bed when seoyeon fell asleep last night but she just…couldn’t, she couldn’t stop thinking, she couldn’t stop looking at the girl and she couldn’t stop her heart from beating too fast, so, she just held into seoyeon and hoped the other girl wouldn’t think she was some kind of weirdo.
The alarm finally went off, both girls were wide awake ages before the little morning sounds from their phone filled the room, they had to wake up now, no more thinking, there was no escaping it now and neither of them really knew how to deal with this…cuddling situation they got going on, so seoyeon decided to take the matter into her own hands as she put her best I-just-woke-up-hi-babe act even tho yooyeon wasn’t even her lover, but honestly? what’s better than making your hot, awkward roommate blush with how domestic your situation looks like?
As seoyeon stirred, she felt yooyeon’s hand tighten but then she loosened her grip, so seoyeon turned around with a little smile on her face and maybe if you were someone watching them from afar you would think they were a well-established couple, waking up like any other day.
Seoyeon tho, was shocked to say the least, she didn’t show it but, when she turned and looked at yooyeon she wasn’t expecting the sight of the girl to be…so relaxed, so tender and so, so beautiful in her arms, this is the longest she ever looked into those brown orbs and she couldn’t take her eyes away. The little smile on yooyeon’s face, the gentleness of her stare and literally everything about her in that moment made seoyeon think of one thing as she kept glancing to the girl’s lips. I wish I could kiss you.
And okay she might as well wake up from whatever hypnotization her roommate has her in or she would do something she might or might not regret later.
Giving yooyeon another smile seoyeon said the only thing she could think of
“hi, good morning” that was the softest she ever heard herself talk and it might have even scared her a little but hearing yooyeon’s voice
“good morning to you too, how was your sleep?” she was gone, yooyeon’s voice in the morning is probably now her favorite sound ever. And she couldn’t help but flirt a little because where is the harm in that?
“good, thanks to you here” she smiled and when she got a smile in response seoyeon finally got up even tho she would rather stay there for the whole day.
Yooyeon might’ve looked relaxed and composed on the outside back then and now but looking at seoyeon moving around their tiny kitchen after the odd interaction they had this morning as they woke up in each other’s arms, she couldn’t stop thinking about how domestic the whole situation felt like. She had more important things to worry about, college for example and even tho she made the promise to her younger self to live a happy, successful life, yooyeon couldn’t stop picturing seoyeon in that life, and maybe it is a little too early to say that, after all it’s been just 2 months and yooyeon was already thinking of changing all her plans to make them fit a seoyeon in them.
Call her crazy but since the first day she met the girl, it’s like her life did a whole 180, and okay say whatever you want “love at first sight stories are so cringe” she didn’t care, she finally had someone that didn’t walk away after just a week, a person who never forced her to say so much, someone who was content with just having her in the same room as them, it was something she never experienced before and maybe it’s the longing of being more to someone than the study freak everyone saw her as or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in her life someone didn’t look at her with pity even if they knew nothing about her but yooyeon was happy.
She was pulled out of her thoughts by seoyeon’s voice.
“I’m sorry for last night” it took yooyeon a good 30 seconds to understand what seoyeon was talking about
“it’s fine no need to apologize” with that seoyeon finally looked her way
“you aren’t going to ask me anything?” she looked confused and even more so when yooyeon shook her head
“no, if you don’t want to talk about it then don’t, I won’t force you to tell me anything don’t worry” with that the girl that occupied her mind for the past 2 months shook her head and went back to cooking.
After a few minutes of silence that yooyeon spent enjoying how smooth seoyeon’s movement in the kitchen was, wondering what was on the girl’s mind, that same voice pulled her out of her thoughts again.
“my mom called me yesterday” there it was. So yooyeon just looked at her with encouraging eyes waiting for her to continue, and as seoyeon got the attention she needed, she turned to look at yooyeon.
“she started talking about my grades, how my straight A grades weren’t enough because someone out there had an A+ and I was second best, she told me to get my shit together, how she didn’t raise me to be second, I got mad and told her that she wasn’t even the one that raised me. The line went silence and then she told me her driver will pick me up Saturday evening and now I don’t know what to do”
When she finished her sentence seoyeon dropped her face in her hands and as she felt a pair of hands in hers, as she looked up, yooyeon was suddenly in front of her again, looking at her with that same look she gave her earlier that morning that she still has no idea what to think of it, and then yooyeon opened her arms.
Understanding the message seoyeon reached out and for the second time in the past 24 hours she found herself in yooyeon’s arms, face buried in the girl’s shoulder. For the second time that day nothing else mattered than her and the girl that held her through her pain when no one ever did not even her best friends. Seoyeon couldn’t really help the few tears that fell, she felt safe and understood for the first time in her life and she didn’t mind it.
As they let go of each other she felt those same hands slide up her cheeks, wiping her tears away and as she looked up to yooyeon the girl said something that left seoyeon an even worse mess.
“we’ll get through this together, okay? I’ll try my best to help you. Don’t worry too much.”