Chapter 2
After a short breakfast, Sirius retreated into the room Harry was in. He laid down on the floor beside Harry’s crib and was asleep in minutes, thanks to a potion Alice gave him. He woke up a few hours later when he heard Harry start to stir and checked the time. It was 9:25, three and a half hours sleep was better than nothing. He lifted Harry into his arms. “Hey, little man.”
Harry looked up at Sirius and yawned, curling up against his chest. “Hungwy.”
Sirius smiled and carried Harry out to the main room. He walked into the kitchen and set Harry down in the high chair. He searched through the cabinets until he found some Cheerios and waved his wand. A bowl appeared in front of Harry and the box hovered in the air, dumping a reasonable amount into the bowl. Sirius looked in the fridge and found a few pieces of melon. He waved his wand and those flew over, settling down on the tray in front of Harry. The toddler clapped his hands happily and began to eat. Sirius sat down at the table, sighing heavily.
Alice walked into the room with Neville on her hip, humming quietly. “Oh. I wondered where you two had gone.” She smiled at him and conjured up another high chair, identical to the first. She set Neville in it and repeated the same process Sirius had. The two children babbled to each other as they ate, in their own little world. Alice sat down across from Sirius and waved her wand. The kettle flew across the room and filled with water, before settling on the stove. With another flick of her wand the stove came on.
“Sirius?” Alice reached over and took his hand. She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles in a comforting way. He remembered when Alice was a Prefect and constantly exasperated with the four friends. She and Frank were two years above the Marauders. It felt like a different life. Alice still had the same happy, round face but it was different. Hardened, in a way. The war did that to people.
Sirius broke out of his thoughts and realized Alice had been speaking the entire time. “Sorry, I…I got distracted. Can you repeat that?”
She gave him a look, the same look she used to when he was up to something. “I said that Frank went into the office to file a report on Pettigrew. He’s going to lead the search for him.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “Hagrid is taking care of…the bodies.” Her voice shook slightly but she took a deep breath and continued. “I’m staying here today. I thought I could help with Harry and maybe he could play with Neville.” Her voice picked up a bit at the end. “Everyone is in an uproar. Frank went by the house and said reporters were camped out in the front garden.” She laughed slightly.
Sirius listened to her speak, nodding slightly. He looked over at her. “Alice, I…I don’t know what I’m doing. With Harry. I’m his godfather but I have no idea how to take care of him full time. I don’t want to mess up.”
“Sirius, everyone is scared they’re going to mess up when it comes to children.” Alice said calmly. She gave his hand another squeeze. “You love that little boy more than anything, I can tell from the way you look at him. You’ll do fine. I can help you and I can introduce you to Molly Weasley. She has a son that’s just a couple months older than Harry and another that was just born in August. She was at the Prewett’s funeral, their sister? Big family, red hair?”
Sirius could vaguely remember the red headed family and the heavily pregnant woman who appeared to be their mother. “Yeah, I think I remember.”
“She’s wonderful. We’ve worked with her husband a few times, he’s helped us out with cursed Muggle objects. We can have them over for dinner once everything calms down and the three of them can play. Her son’s name is Ron I think.”
Sirius nodded again. The kettle whistled and Alice got to her feet, preparing the tea the Muggle way. She set one mug down in front of Sirius and took her seat again. After a few moments of silence, Sirius spoke again. “Alice, do you think that Dumbledore will try and take him from me?”
Alice was quiet for a moment, sipping her tea. She set the mug down on the table and looked up at Sirius. “He’ll have to go through me first.”
Sirius smiled slightly, for the first time that day. “Thank you.”
“PAD!” Harry flung the bowl onto the floor and smiled widely at Sirius. He had finished his food. He kicked his legs and Sirius went over to him, lifting him out of his highchair. Alice did the same for Neville.
“I’ve got Neville’s playpen set up in the living room. Why don’t we move out there?” Alice suggested. Sirius nodded and followed her, depositing Harry in the playpen next to Neville. He sat on the couch and accepted the cup of tea Alice had retrieved from the kitchen.
Alice was quiet for a few minutes, staring at her son. “I have some pictures for you. Frank loved photography at Hogwarts and you four…you were always at the center of everything. There are also some of just the two of them. We used to double date so Frank would take their picture.” She looked over at him, eyes slightly red. “We can look through them together. When you’re ready.”
Sirius nodded. “I…I suppose I’ll have to plan the funeral.”
Alice shook her head. “Don’t worry about that. I’m sure that no one expects you to. Frank and I can handle it.”
“No, they’re family. It has to be me.” Sirius sighed.
Alice looked like she wanted to argue but didn’t, which Sirius was grateful for. She set her mug down once she was finished and leaned over, resting her head on Sirius’ shoulder and wrapping her arm around his elbow. “You aren’t alone, Sirius. Don’t ever think you are.”
Sirius felt his emotions rising to the surface and tears prickling in his eyes. “I know, Alice.” The unspoken thank you was loud and clear. He looked up as Remus walked into the room, his stomach giving an unpleasant lurch. “Hey.”
Remus walked over and sat down on the other side of Sirius. He stared down at Harry with a soft expression on his face. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing much.” Alice got to her feet. “Tea, Remus? Or something to eat?”
“No, Alice. Thank you.” Remus leaned back against Sirius, who flinched away from the contact. She walked into the kitchen, leaving Neville to play with Harry.
“I think we’ll be moving out of London.” Sirius was the first to speak. “Not back there, obviously.” He couldn’t imagine ever returning to Godric’s Hollow. “Somewhere where he can be happy. He’s going to be famous, Remus, before he can even understand the word. I want to keep him away from that. I think it’s what they would have wanted.”
“You’re going to take him away?” Sirius looked over at Remus and saw his stricken expression.
“Moony, hey, relax. You’ll be coming with us.” Sirius said calmly. He was anything but. Lily and James had made it clear they were to raise Harry together but that was before, back when Sirius and Remus were still together.
“What?” Remus frowned. “I shouldn’t be living with a child, not around the full moon…”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “We’ll have Alice or someone watch him on the moon. Remus, he needs both of us. They made it very clear to me that I was to have you help me.” He didn’t mention it was before Remus left. It didn’t matter. James and Lily wanted them to raise him together and that was the end of it. Sirius was going to honor their wishes.
“They wanted me to help?” The shock in Remus’ voice was evident. He stared at Sirius, bewildered someone would trust him with their child.
Sirius snorted slightly. “Of course they did. Remus, you were family to them.” You were family to me too, once. Sirius pushed the thought out of his mind. It didn’t matter anymore. Remus had made his choice over a year ago. Sirius was over it.
Remus nodded. “Alright then.”
Sirius looked down at Harry, finding it easier than looking at Remus. He remembered his breakdown from earlier in the morning and blushed slightly. “Sorry about before, falling apart and everything.” He kept his eyes on Harry as he spoke.
“Don’t be. I think…I think we both needed it.” Remus replied softly.
Sirius glanced over at Remus. It had been almost a year since they had spent more than a few minutes together, outside of Order meetings. He hadn’t really taken in his appearance, the night before had been too crazy. He was as handsome as Sirius remembered, albeit a bit more scarred. His frame seemed skinnier and he looked hardened, the same as Alice. The same kind features were there, just a bit less obvious. He looked tired too. Sirius wondered again what kind of missions Dumbledore had been sending him on. They weren’t allowed to ask about it. Sirius looked away as Remus caught his eye and coughed awkwardly. “Maybe Hogsmeade or near Ottery St Catchpole. There are a lot of wizard families there.”
Remus nodded. “The Weasleys live near there. So do the Lovegoods and the Diggorys.”
“It’d be nice for Harry to be around other kids.” Sirius replied quietly. “I think we need to make his life as normal as possible.” He thought back to when his life was normal, before Remus left. “That includes not walking out, you know.” He wanted to take the words back as soon as they left his mouth but couldn’t.
Remus’ face was stricken. “Sirius, I…”
He trailed off as Alice walked into the room. She ignored the odd tension in the room, instead placing a few more toys in the playpen. “What are you two going to do today?”
Sirius shrugged. “I’m staying here. Dumbledore will probably want to speak to me at some point.” He got to his feet. “I’m actually going to have a shower. Keep an eye on Harry, Remus.” He walked out of the room, ignoring the hurt look Remus was sending his way.
~
The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Sirius did his best to avoid Remus and ignore the nagging guilt he was feeling. He was right, after all. Remus couldn’t walk out on Harry, not like he walked out on Sirius. The poor child needed stability, a somewhat normal upbringing. If Remus couldn’t commit to that, Sirius was happy to do it on his own.
At around 4:00, members of the Order started to trickle in. Some brought food, while others brought bottles of Firewhiskey. Dedalus Diggle showed up with fireworks. Everyone was talking excitedly, laughing, eating snacks. The war was over. Voldemort was gone and his followers scattered. Those placed under the Imperius Curse were coming back to themselves. The mood was joyous and Sirius couldn’t have been more miserable. He was sitting on the couch between Emmeline Vance and Alice. Frank was sitting on the floor in front of them, playing with Neville and Harry. Mostly Neville, as everyone wanted a chance to hold Harry. Sirius kept a watchful eye on his godson, making sure that he didn’t get hurt. The party didn’t get into full swing until around 7:00, when almost the full Order had arrived. Sirius put Harry to bed then, over the protests of everyone who hadn’t held him yet. He tucked Harry in and Alice followed with Neville moments later. He walked out of the room once Harry was asleep and poured himself a drink.
Stupid people, Sirius thought bitterly, celebrating when two of us are dead. He downed his drink and turned to pour another, stopping as the room fell silent. He turned and sighed. Albus Dumbledore was standing in the doorway, accompanied by Minerva McGonagall. He set the bottle down and walked forward.
“I didn’t do it.” Sirius said before Dumbledore could speak. He felt a little uncomfortable as Dumbledore stared at him but continued. “I would have never sold them to Voldemort. It was Peter.” He explained about switching Secret-Keepers, aware of the eyes on him.
Dumbledore was silent for a few moments after Sirius stopped speaking. “I believe you, Mr. Black, for the simple reason that I do not think young Harry would be here if you were lying.” He beckoned for Sirius to follow him to the kitchen, McGonagall on his heels. Sirius glanced at Alice, who immediately got to her feet and went to the nursery. He then followed Dumbledore to the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table across from him and McGonagall. Remus joined them a few moments later, sitting so close to Sirius their thighs were almost touching.
“Would you like a lemon drop?” Dumbledore asked, unwrapping some kind of sweet.
“A what?” Sirius and McGonagall said at the same time, causing Dumbledore to chuckle.
“They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.”
Sirius sighed in frustration. “Professor, let’s get to the point. You aren’t taking Harry anywhere.”
Dumbledore was quiet a few moments, until he finished his lemon drop. “I have a safer alternative to you two. Harry would have a unique protection in this house, one he would not be able to get elsewhere.”
“Who would be taking him?” Remus asked quietly.
“Lily’s sister, Petun-“
Sirius jumped to his feet, his chair almost toppling over. “Petunia?! Like hell. She hated Lily and James, their child is not going to her.”
“It would be a protection that not even I could provide. Only Petunia could.” Dumbledore said gently.
“Albus, I do not think that this is a good idea.” It was not Sirius or Remus who spoke, but Professor McGonagall. Her voice calmed Sirius more than anything. He sat down, Remus’ hand finding his almost immediately. He stiffened but didn’t pull away. “I watched those people all day and they’re the worst sort of Muggles.”
“We’re more family to him than she ever could be.” Sirius said quietly. “I’m his legal guardian in any case and you can’t take him from me.”
Dumbledore sighed and bowed his head. “Your stubbornness is blinding you, Mr. Black. Harry would be safer-“
“From Death Eaters, maybe.” Sirius interrupted again. “There are worse things.” He thought back to his own upbringing, cold Walburga and indifferent Orion. He shuddered to think of Harry going through the same thing. “No. It’s not going to happen.”
Dumbledore fell silent then, unwrapping another lemon drop. “You will be provided with every protection possible, at least until the last of the Death Eaters are caught.”
Sirius nodded. “Fine. Is that all?”
Dumbledore got to his feet. Sirius bit his lip. “Professor, there’s something else. Peter Pettigrew…he’s an Animagus. So am I.” He explained the situation quickly, feeling a little ashamed. They had broken about fifty school rules and a few laws, after all.
Dumbledore stared at Sirius, a little of the old twinkle returning to his eye. “I am not your teacher anymore, so I cannot give you detention or expel you. I will however, smooth things over at the Ministry and handle your registration. Thank you for telling me.” He swept out of the room, leaving a stunned Sirius behind.
McGonagall cleared her throat. “I must admit, I knew what the three of you were attempting.”
Sirius smiled a bit at his old Head of House. “I know, Professor. We figured that all those extra lessons on animagi during fourth year weren’t a coincidence.” He laughed weakly.
“No need to call me Professor. Minerva will do just fine.” She smiled back at him slightly, then got to her feet. “I must say, I was impressed when you accomplished it.” She seemed to grapple with something for a moment. “While you three never failed to infuriate me, Mr. Potter was…” She dabbed at her eyes. “He was a special student. So were you two.”
Sirius was floored. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand in his for a moment, then dropped it. “You were a special teacher, Minerva.”
Minerva pulled herself up. “May I see Harry?”
Sirius nodded quickly and led her upstairs, straight to the nursery. He watched as she carefully lifted the baby into her arms, holding him close. She stood there like that for a few minutes, just rocking a sleeping Harry. She then placed him back in the crib and the two of them left the nursery.
“I’ll be in touch soon. Stay safe.” She said to him and Remus, then swept out of the house.
Sirius leaned back against the wall. He could hear the sounds of the party, even though he was a floor above the festivities. There was a shattering of glass and a loud cheer. He didn’t have the energy to pretend to enjoy it anymore, not that he had been trying much before.
Remus seemed to have the same feeling. “There are extra bedrooms.” He grabbed Sirius’ arm and tugged him down the hall, stopping in front of two doors. “Take your pick.”
Sirius opened the closest one, glancing at Remus. “Goodnight, Remus.” He said after a moment or two of awkward silence.
Remus nodded, his expression unreadable. “Goodnight, Padfoot.” He turned and went into the other room, closing the door behind him. Sirius stood there for a few moments before turning and going into his own room. He stripped down to his boxers and collapsed into bed. As exhausted as he was, Sirius had trouble falling asleep. When he did finally doze, images of James and Lily's bodies filled his mind, along with images from a night over a year ago. The night Remus left him. The night his world fell apart the first time.