Chapter 1
Sirius was at headquarters in London when he got the news.
It hit him like a punch to the gut. Hands were on him, forcing him into a chair and whispering words of comfort. He could vaguely hear someone crying in the background but he couldn’t tell who it was. Murder in Godric’s Hollow. Hagrid going to investigate. Three Killing Curses and explosion. The words of Dumbledore’s Patronus rang in his head and he was seriously having trouble breathing. He got to his feet and shoved away the hands that tried to pull him back down. He wheeled around and came face to face with Frank Longbottom, who looked just as ill as Sirius felt.
“I’m going.” The words left no room for argument. He trusted Hagrid but he was not going to rely on someone else to tell him what happened. Frank looked like he wanted to argue but then just nodded and pulled away, going to comfort Alice who was holding baby Neville tight against her and crying quietly. Sirius walked out of headquarters and got onto his bike. The engine roared to life and he set off, rising into the night sky. Maybe it wasn’t them. There were plenty of wizards and witches in Godric’s Hollow. They had been well hidden and Dumbledore himself had seen to it that they were protected. He almost managed to convince himself that it wasn’t them, that he’d get to Godric’s Hollow and see that they were fine. Lily and James would be fast asleep, along with Harry or maybe one of them would be up to check on him. They’d open the door when they heard Sirius knocking and laugh at him for thinking anything had happened. Lily would hug him and James would-
His thoughts broke off as the bike cruised towards Earth. He could see the hole in the side of the house as he landed the bike and he knew it was hopeless. He climbed off the bike and raced towards the front door, seeing it slightly ajar. He hesitated. He knew what he would find inside and Sirius wasn’t sure if he was ready to face it. He sucked in a deep breath and opened the door.
His blood ran cold as he saw the body lying on the floor in the entryway. Of course James had tried to fight him off, give Lily and Harry time to escape. He knelt next to his friend and stared at him for a moment, memories flashing through his mind. James, befriending him on the Hogwarts Express. James, fiercely determined as they researched how to become animagi. James, taking Sirius in when his family disowned him. James, asking him to be Harry’s godfather. Sirius blinked back the tears in his eyes and reached forward, slowly closing James’ eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the vacant expression on his friend’s face. He got to his feet and walked upstairs, to Harry’s nursery. That’s where the hole had been blasted. His hand trembled slightly on his wand as he neared the top of the stairs, then he froze. Was that…crying? He ran up the rest of the stairs and into the nursery. Relief filled him as he saw Harry, crying as loudly as he possibly could but alive. Sirius crossed the room and lifted his godson into his arms, soothing him gently. He looked down and his stomach dropped to the floor again. Lily was lying there, expression just as vacant as James’. He knelt down and closed her eyes, then got to his feet again. He walked around the room and grabbed the diaper bag, filling it with some of Harry’s toys and clothes. He didn’t look down at Lily again. He couldn’t break down, not when he had to look after Harry. He grabbed the toy broomstick he’d sent to Harry and walked down the stairs, carefully avoiding James as he walked into the study. He whispered the password to the safe he knew James had hidden behind a painting and grabbed the copy of their will. He already knew what was inside. Instructions that everything was to be left to Harry, with Sirius in charge of it until Harry was 17. Remus was to get a monthly sum for when he didn’t have a job. Sirius was Harry’s legal guardian, he was to raise him with help from Remus. He tucked the papers into the bag and walked outside, movements almost mechanical. He kept his thoughts on Harry, the boy who was now staring up at Sirius with confusion. “Pad?”
Sirius couldn’t help but smile a bit. James had been trying to teach Harry how to say Padfoot for ages. He kissed Harry’s forehead as he climbed onto the bike, securing Harry into the sidecar he specifically added so Harry could ride with him. He silently apologized to Lily, who had glared at him every time he brought up taking Harry on a ride. He started the engine and rose into the air. He glanced down at Harry, who was already starting to fall asleep. The roar of the engine didn’t seem to bother him. Sirius soared back towards headquarters, keeping a watchful eye out for anyone who might try to harm them. He landed in front of the building and walked inside. More people had arrived since he left. They were all talking loudly, discussing the events of the night. Sirius closed the door behind him and turned to face the room, Harry cradled in his arms and the bag slung over one shoulder. The room fell silent, every eye drawn to them.
Alice was the first one to step forward. She held out her arms for Harry and Sirius shied away. “Isn’t anyone going to ask me the question?” His voice was hoarse.
Alastor Moody walked forward, the thunk of his walking stick echoing around the silent room. “What did James say to the Prewett brothers when they questioned your loyalty because of your family?”
Sirius’ breath left his body. It had been when they first suspected someone in the Order was a traitor. The Prewetts had let their eyes linger on Sirius just a bit too long as they discussed it and James had gone off.
“Sirius would rather die than betray us and if you’re thinking that it’s him you can fuck off.” Sirius recalled, the faintest trace of a smile on his face.
Alastor stepped back then and Sirius fell into one of the chairs. He glared at Alice as she tried to take Harry again. “Alice, I love you but I’m not giving him to anyone else.” He took a deep breath. He had to tell everyone what had happened. “We had a traitor. It was Peter.”
A few people looked at him with disbelief. He could hear people muttering, a few soft curses, and then silence again. “We switched at the last minute. I- fuck, this is all my fault. I convinced James to switch to Peter. I thought it would be safer, he’d be the less obvious choice. Everyone knew I was Harry’s godfather and James’ best friend. I never imagined that…” Tears burned in his eyes and Sirius blinked them away. Guilt washed over him. “I know my word on this isn’t enough. Not even Dumbledore knew we switched. Someone can give me Veritaserum or something. It’s the truth.”
The door burst open and everyone jumped, half the room pointing their wands at the newcomer. Remus Lupin stood there, looking like he’d just woken up. His robes looked like they had been pulled on hastily and his cloak was at an awkward angle. “What’s going on? I got the message, what’s this about?”
Sirius felt like he’d been punched, he didn’t hear Remus’ answer to the security question Alastor asked. Remus didn’t know. He realized that everyone was looking at him. Of course they would expect him to deliver the news, Remus had been one of them. One of the Marauders. He got to his feet, still holding Harry. Remus seemed to notice them then. His face lit up for a moment at seeing Harry, then his expression morphed into one of confusion. He handed Harry to Alice.
“If anything happens to him, I will hold you personally responsible.” Sirius said quietly. Alice nodded and rocked Harry gently. Sirius walked over to Remus and pulled him down the hall, into the kitchen.
Remus stared at Sirius, obviously trying to piece it together. “Padfoot? What’s going on? Why is Harry here?”
Sirius took a deep breath. “Lily and James…they’re gone, Remus.”
Remus’ face went blank and Sirius caught him as he staggered forward. “How?” Remus choked out after a moment. “Dumbledore said he was protecting them.”
Sirius explained everything to him, trying to keep his voice steady. He wanted to grab his wand, find Peter, and avenge his friends. He forced himself to stay where he was. He had to protect Harry. He had to be there for Remus. He helped Remus sit down at the kitchen table.
Remus looked up at him finally, white faced. “I can’t believe Peter…” He trailed off. Sirius heard the door open and close again, then heard a shout. He drew his wand and ran to the living room, Remus hot on his heels. He saw Hagrid in a heated argument with Frank and ran forward, snatching a crying Harry away from Alice.
Hagrid turned to Sirius. “I’m here for Harry. Dumbledore’s orders.”
Sirius shook his head immediately. “Not a chance, Hagrid. Dumbledore can come and talk to me. I’m his legal guardian now.”
Hagrid wiped his eyes. He had obviously been crying. “Sirius I’ve got to. Dumbledore knows what he’s doin’ and he’ll make sure Harry’s safe.”
“He’s safe with us.” It wasn’t Sirius who spoke, but Remus. He edged in front of Sirius, putting a physical barrier between Hagrid and Harry. Sirius was surprised when a few other people joined them, some drawing their wands.
“Harry’s not going anywhere.” Sirius said firmly, from behind the wall of people.
Hagrid nodded reluctantly and noisily blew his nose. “Someone’ll have to send a message to him then.”
The people in front of Sirius relaxed then and Emmeline walked off to send the message. Sirius sat down on the sofa and looked down at Harry, who was only sniffling then. “Hey, little man. It’s okay.” He tickled Harry’s sides gently and the toddler giggled, reaching out to grab at Sirius’ hair.
Remus walked into the room and Harry squealed with delight. Sirius set him down and Harry toddled across the room, falling into Remus’ legs. “Moony!”
Remus smiled faintly at Harry. Sirius remembered the bag and stood to retrieve it from the entryway. He set out a few toys to occupy the toddler and set Harry on the floor. When he was sure Harry was distracted, he turned to Remus. “I’m his legal guardian.”
Remus nodded. His face had regained a little of its color. “What are you going to do?”
Sirius took a deep breath. “For now? Stay wherever it’s safest. But I’m not letting him out of my sight for a while. Once everything dies down…well, I’ll figure it out.”
Alice walked in. “Frank and I are making breakfast. Do you two want anything?”
Breakfast? Sirius checked the time. It was half past five in the morning. He nodded a bit at Alice, little though he wanted to eat. “Yeah. What about-“
“I’ll get him some cereal and some fruit. That’s what we give Neville a lot of mornings. They’re the same age.” She smiled reassuringly at Sirius.
“Thank you.” Sirius looked down at Harry, who was curled up with the stuffed stag James had bought when he was born. The boy was fast asleep again. Sirius slowly lifted him up, careful not to jostle him.
“There’s a crib down the hall, in the same room with Neville. I can take him there.” Alice didn’t add on that the crib had been put there specifically for Harry. Sirius only hesitated a moment before handing him over. She walked out and Sirius fell back onto the couch. The full weight of what was happening hit him. James and Lily were dead. Sirius was responsible for a baby. Tears fell down his cheeks, hot and fast. He didn’t try and stop them.
Remus pulled Sirius into his arms, holding him tightly. “Sirius, Sirius, shh…” Tears dripped down his own face.
“They’re gone, Remus.” Sirius was on his way to a full on breakdown. “They’re fucking gone. I can’t…” His breathing was ragged. “James…”
Remus held Sirius tighter. It was just them, they had nothing but each other. And Harry, of course.