Waking Up (Friday)
The first thing he becomes aware of is a dull, throbbing pressure in his head and being surrounded by murmuring voices that sound distorted, as if his head was submerged in water… Maybe it is, he thinks faintly as the pressure in his head grows… Maybe I’m drowning…
But as the darkness fades and he slowly but steadily becomes aware of his own body again, it also becomes clear that he is far from dead. He blinks his eyes open but the brightness of the room stings his eyes and he presses them shut again with a groan.
The voices stop talking abruptly. He warily tries to squint his eyes open again and after a moment he’s able to open his eyes.
”W-What happened? Where am I—?” he mumbles, but no sooner has the words left his mouth when his surroundings become clear to him — Hospital Wing at Hogwarts — ”Oh, no… Draco… Where’s Draco, is he okay?”
”Draco Malfoy?”
Harry looks up to see Professor McGonagall frown at him.
”I assume so. He’s in his dormitory—”
A wave of relief washes over Harry and he relaxes back against the pillow again. ”And my dad’s … okay?”
This time, the Transfigurations teacher says nothing, just stares back at him in alarm.
”Professor?” he asks again, but she just blinks back at him.
Scanning the faces around him in a panic, Harry feels his blood run cold… The Weasleys are crowded together on the left side of his bed and on the right, next to Professor McGonagall, stands Madam Pomfrey and Hermione Granger, and they’re all exchanging looks of worry and alarm.
”Hey, I asked a question!” Harry says shrilly. ”Is my dad okay?”
”Harry”, Granger says in a small, trembling voice. ”Your dad is…”
”What?” he says thickly. ”He’s what?”
”He’s dead…”
”No…”
”Harry, dear—” Mrs Weasley says and puts a comforting hand on top of his arm, but immediately removes it again when he flinches.
”Where’s my daddy?” he asks thickly.
”Harry—” Granger chokes out.
”Where’s my daddy?” he demands, as his eyes begin to sting with furious tears. ”Someone get him! Now!”
No-one moves, or says anything.
Besides himself with grief, Harry fists the blanket and continues to scream for his daddy hysterically as hot tears run down his face.
”Daddy! DADDY! — Where is he? — Remus Lupin, can someone please find Remus Lupin! PLEASE—!”
Finally, something happens. A ripple of confused whispers erupts all around him, then Granger is running towards the doors and within seconds she comes back with a very haggard-looking Remus trailing behind her. He strides up to Harry’s bed and Harry only has to take one look at the redness in his eyes to know that it’s true. Harry immediately crumbles as the man sidles up to the bed.
”Harry, I’m so sorry…” Remus says, his voice raw but also guarded somehow.
Harry fumbles with the blankets and scrambles out of the bed, barely registering the alarmed look on his daddy’s face before he launches himself into his arms. There is a moment of hesitation before Harry feels the man return the embrace, but he’s too upset to think much of it… his daddy must be just as shocked as he is…
He’s vaguely aware of whispers around him again, but it’s not until Mrs Weasley mutters something about legal guardianship that the reality of the situation really dawns on Harry, and he remembers that time when Remus got into an argument with Barty Crouch Sr. over Harry’s entry in the Triwizard Tournament and Harry found out that Remus wasn’t actually registered as his legal guardian… The Ministry would never allow someone like me to adopt, Harry… it’s okay, it’s just a piece of paper… I’ll always be your daddy…
With a horrified gasp, Harry wrenches his face away from the comfort of his daddy’s shoulder and stares up into his face.
”The Ministry…” he says. ”They won’t make me move, will they?”
A look of confusion flickers into Remus face.
”They won’t stop us from seeing each other or — or —”
”Harry, what are you talking about?” Remus asks gently.
”Sirius was my only official legal guardian”, Harry says miserably.
”He… He was your godfather, Harry…” Remus says warily and nods. ”That’s true, but… He wasn’t your… He was never your legal guardian—”
”What? What are you talking about—?”
”The Dursleys are your legal guardians, dear”, Mrs Weasley says somewhere behind him.
”Who? … Who are the Dursleys…?” Harry says, whipping his head around.
Remus tries to step away from him, but Harry keeps clinging onto his robes.
”Something’s wrong…” he vaguely aware of Professor McGonagall muttering in hushed alarm. ”Someone alert the Headmaster.”
Harry’s head is still fuzzy, still pounding and his scar is stinging, making it difficult to concentrate but he’s keenly aware of everyone acting weird … the more insistently he clutches his daddy’s robes, the tenser the man seems to become; if Harry didn’t know better, he’d think his daddy didn’t want to hold him —
Then it hits him, like a punch in the gut … daddy blames me for dad’s death!
As though he’s been slapped hard across the face, Harry recoils from Remus and the fact that the man lets him, doesn’t even try to hold on, only cornfirms Harry’s horrifying suspicion.
Clutching his head miserably, Harry wills the stinging tears away as they swell in his eyes … he wishes everyone would just leave him alone …
He hears the doors to the Hospital Wing open again and two sets of footsteps approaches his bed.
”Harry …”
He immediately recognises the Headmaster’s gentle voice. But he doesn’t look up, can’t bring himself to. It doesn’t matter, any of it, he tells himself miserably. Losing his dad was bad enough, but if his daddy is going to blame him for it, hate him even … Harry rather be dead, than live with that knowledge …