Landas hanggang maging akin
If Aiah could list all the things that she loved, the first and top of the list would be the cute and simple things. Let it be a random item that she found anywhere, a random moment, or a person.
Aiah loves animals, especially her dog, Honey. Her name doesn’t take too much time to think of. Cute sa pandinig niya ang word na “honey” so pinangalanan niya ang aso niya ng ganoon. Honey’s been her companion ever since her father gave it as her 18th birthday gift. Honey is cute, an adorable four-legged creature who gave her comfort during her darkest days. Hindi nga lang niya kasama ngayon dahil she felt guilty leaving her in her apartment without someone entertaining her. Though, she gets regular updates from her mom, who’s now taking care of Honey for a while.
Another thing that Aiah loved was her simple single bed with a light blue comforter and pillow sheets. Who wouldn’t love to lie after a tiring day? The smell of the sheets brings comfort and solace without the luxury of going outside. Feeling overwhelmed with all the work and such? Just lie down on your bed. Wala sa mood para gumala? Ihiga na lang ni Aiah ‘yan sa kama niya. Whenever Aiah faced an unfortunate event, being in her own bed brings her at ease.
“Final na bang hindi tayo lalabas ngayon? Sure na talaga ‘yan? Hindi na ba mababago ang isip mo? As in, ayaw mo na talagang gumala muna ngayon? Maaga pa naman, Aiah.” Jhoanna insisted through the screen.
Huminga nang malalim si Aiah at saka bumuntong hininga. This is probably the 6th time that Jhoanna asked if they aren’t going out tonight for real.
“Jho,” Aiah said softly, “How many times do I have to tell you na magpahinga ka na lang muna ngayon? Sinabi mo na nga lang na sumasakit na ang katawan mo for all the works today tapos gusto mo pang mag drive papunta rito? Akala mo naman talaga hindi ka pagod.” Sermon niya kay Jhoanna.
Jhoanna sighed in defeat and pouted. A scene where Aiah finds it cute that she needs to bite the inside of her cheeks to suppress a smile.
Adding to Aiah's list of favorite things are the simple yet private moments she spends with Jhoanna. It was the kind of intimacy where Aiah could convey her trust and vulnerability just by being around Jhonna, without the necessity for physical touch. With Jhoanna, she feels safe and at peace, a kind of feeling wherein she couldn’t find from anybody.
Aiah loved it when she smiles, tila nawawala kasi ang mata nito kapag malaki ang ngiti niya. She loved how her feature lightens when she laughed, kung paano mas nagiging maamo ang mukha niya kapag tumatawa siya’t ngumingiti. She looked so carefree and adorable, smiling really suits her.
She loves how her eyeglasses compliment her face, and how her eyes glitter through it. Aiah adores her long black lustrous hair that shines with the light. The smoothness of her hair, the softness of her skin, the smell of her perfume; it was all addicting and comforting at the same time.
If someone could ask Aiah what she likes about Jhoanna, she could probably say about a thousand reasons why. But one thing is for sure, Aiah loved how Jhoanna made her feel the things that she hadn’t felt before.
“Stop ka na sa pagpapacute mo diyan. Basta final na ang desisyon ko na we’re not going out tonight, Jho”
“I’m just shooting my shot, baka lang naman mag work.”
“Well, try harder, kasi hindi gumagana.”
Jhoanna sighed for the nth time, “I just…” she sighed again. “Hindi kita na solo this day.” She spoke softly as if she was afraid to tell what she really wanted.
“And I just wanted to feel your warmth even for a second lang sana.”
It made Aiah’s heart melt and her lips twitch, almost making a smirk as she saw how Jhoanna yearned for her. It made her question what could have she done for Jhoanna to act this way. Ano ang nagawa niya to deserve her? Or is she even deserving her like this?
“Jho,” she started, tracing the screen as if she were touching Jhoanna’s cheek and she sighed. “Gusto rin kitang mayakap, like, for real.”
Napangiti siya when she saw Jhoanna relaxed, “But now isn’t the good time kasi kailangan mong magpahinga. Maaga rin tayo bukas and nabigla ‘yung katawan mo sa bigat ng activities kanina. So right now, you have to save your energy for tomorrow. Okay po?”
Jhoanna nodded and smiled contentedly. Aiah looked so concern kaya hindi na siya nakipagtalo pa. She didn’t have to waste her time because she knew, in the end, she would let Aiah decide.
“Masusunod, kamahalan.” She bowed and chuckled, “Ano pa bang magagawa ko eh ikaw na ‘yan.”
Aiah rolled her eyes. “Sus, bolera ka talaga. Hindi mo ako makukuha sa mga paganyan mo.”
“Ay hindi ba?” Jhoanna chuckled again, “I thought pa naman nakuha na kita.” She whispered, not audible to Aiah.
Aiah frowned, “What’s that?” she asked.
“Wala!” Jhoanna was quick to answer.
Napailing na lamang si Aiah at saka umayos ng higa. Jhoanna did the same too, now they were laying with their side and their phone was in front of them. Jhoanna hides a smile, para naman kaming magkatabi ngayon sa ganitong posisyon, she thought.
“Ilang games pa ‘yung Badminton bukas? Tapos na ‘yung sa table tennis, right?” Aiah asked.
“I think championship na bukas, College of Engineering and Architecture versus Information and Computing Sciences ata ang maglalaban?”
“Oh? Lumalaban na naman ang college niyo.”
“Naman! Palaban talaga kami.”
“Hmm, semi-finals na rin ng basketball bukas ng umaga, then hapon na ang championship. I hope Gelo’s team will again this time. I’m sure he’ll treat me something nice again if that happens.”
Jhoanna’s brow twitched at the mention of a familiar name. Isang pangalan na hindi niya narinig ng ilang araw tapos ngayon ay sumusulpot nang biglaan. Hindi niya alam ang magiging reaction niya rito. Aiah was closed with him, that’s true. Ilang years ba naman silang magkaibigan tas nililigawan na rin siya nito ngayon. But what Aiah said—she didn’t even flinch, not even a stutter. Grabe lang ang pagkasanay? They probably do it a lot.
Jhoanna opens her mouth to speak but words aren’t coming from her mouth. She knew she needed to at least respond—like a simple “Good luck for him” or “Really? That’s nice”, pero nahihirapan siyang sabihin ito. So instead, she said:
“W-Wow.” Was the only word that came before settling her lips into a lopsided smile.
What the hell? Anong kamangha mangha roon, ha, Jhoanna? She mentally slapped herself for that.
Aiah looked puzzled, but something just registered in her mind before she could even ask Jhoanna why. Now, she felt guilty.
Oh.
The guilt wasn't about a romantic secret; it was about the easy familiarity she shared with Gelo, a familiarity she now realized may have made Jhoanna uncomfortable. Nothing was romantic between her and Gelo – just a comfortable friendship forged over shared late-night study sessions and inside jokes. Yet, the way they interacted, the easy laughter and shared glances, had clearly crossed an invisible line. What Aiah feels for Gelo is purely platonic, even though it isn't the same for him.
Aiah bites her thumb, a habit she doesn’t normally do. “ S-Sorry.” Her voice was low, and almost not audible.
Nataranta naman si Jhoanna. She shifted from her bed and concern was evident on her face. “Huh? Why are you saying sorry? Okay ka lang ba?” agad niyang tanong.
Aiah nodded and sighed, “I don’t know.” She started. “Maybe I was being too insensitive? I'm... I'm talking about my, uh, shared experiences with Gelo with you? And I thought maybe that it made you uncomfortable." she hesitantly spoke, slow and gentle.
A pause.
They didn't know how many minutes had passed after that. No one dared to speak and their breathing was only the sound at the backdrop.
Did Jhoanna feel uncomfortable? Yes, she is. She was sure that anybody could feel like that when you're in a relationship with someone, either in a complicated, almost, or in an actual relationship. Pero did she want to dwell on it? A big NO! Ayaw niyang maging awkward sila ni Aiah dahil lang doon. She's avoiding any possible conflict that may affect their relationship, or rather, what they have.
Plus, may karapatan na ba siyang sumama ang loob niya sa mga ganoong bagay? Wala! Kaya marapat lamang na tumahimik nalang siya't huwag nang magreklamo dahil wala namang sila.
Jhoanna ran her hand through her hair before she adjusted her eyeglasses. Aiah was just watching her every move, pati 'yung pag rub ni Jhoanna sa mata niya'y hindi nakalagpas sa kaniya.
What could she be thinking? Is she mad?
"It made me uncomfortable, yes." Jhoanna sighed, "But thinking about it-- he was already in the picture before we met. Kaya I don't think that you have to be sorry for that. Nasanay ka lang na kasama mo siya and you cherished those moments with him-- at okay lang sa akin ang mga 'yun, Aiah. Hindi mo rin kailangang iwasan siya kung sakali. Whatever you two have, nirerespeto ko ‘yun.”
Jhoanna meant that wholeheartedly. Hindi porket may something na sila ni Aiah ay kailangan na niyang iwasan si Gelo. They’ve been friends for a long time, nagkaroon lang ng romantic feeling ‘yung isa pero from what Jhoanna sees naman, Gelo wasn’t doing anything that will make Aiah in a tight spot. Walang time na nalaman niyang pinipilit siya ni Gelo sa mga bagay-bagay. If there was anything else that Jhoanna observes—was the fact that Aiah’s been happy whenever she’s with him, and Gelo plays the role of a gentle, loving, and caring man.
She respected what they had and what they shared together. But she’d be lying when she says that she’s not a bit bothered by it. Okay lang sa kaniya, but the knot that was forming in her chest was getting tighter and suffocating and it was almost hard to breathe.
Tanggap niya, pero hanggang kailan?
“I-I’m not avoiding him naman.” says Aiah in a small voice.
Breath in, blinked twice, and a subtle clenching of her jaw--- Jhoanna was trying to keep her cool.
Kalma, Jho, ‘yan naman ang gusto mo.
“That’s good.”
“But we’re just talking, that’s all. Hindi na rin kami lumalabas na kaming dalawa lang, Jho. We only have our communication online.”
At the very least, she kept her promise. Hindi na nga sila masyadong nagkikita because Aiah was already making plans with Jhoanna. But is it worth celebrating? Knowing na may isang taong malapit sa kaniya na hindi alam kung ano ang ginagawa nilang dalawa.
It felt… wrong, in some aspects.
Now, Jhoanna was wondering. What could happen when she didn’t go in their way? Kung hindi siya pumasok sa buhay ni Aiah, could she be doing all these things with Gelo? Malaki ang posibilidad na oo. The fact was making Jhoanna guilty as hell.
Hindi siya ang nauna sa buhay ni Aiah. Isa lamang siyang hamak na estudyanteng nagkakagusto siya kaniya nang palihim na ngayo’y nasa stage na super close na silang dalawa. If she wasn’t in the picture, masaya sana ngayon si Aiah sa piling ng iba. If she wasn’t in the picture, Aiah was…
“Jho.” Aiah’s gentle voice was calm on Jhoanna’s storm.
Aiah was both her chaos and her comfort.
“I… I like you.”
That doesn’t escalate quickly. Jhoanna was dumbfounded for a moment. Aiah, too, was just staring at her, hoping to see any relevant reaction. But there was none. As in, si Jhoanna ay tulala lang sa screen.
“I like you,” Aiah repeated, her voice was firmer this time.
Jhoanna recovered from being surprised but her face was not because it was flushed. Pabigla bigla kasi itong si Aiah. Kung si Jhoanna ay kung saan-saan lang umaamin, si Aiah naman ay kung anong oras niya gusto, saka naman niya sasabihin.
In those nights na palagi silang magkasama, Aiah never mentioned those words. Kaya’t hindi masisisi ni Aiah kung bakit ganoon na lamang kagulat si Jhoanna nang marinig niya iyon. All those nights wherein they held hands and hug but the affirmation on what their real score are just being said by now.
Jhoanna’s heart race. She’s been waiting for this moment—the time when Aiah says those words. No hints, but the real words. Kahit na hindi niya ito sa personal sinabi, it was enough for Jhoanna to feel its sincerity and intimacy.
“Could you say something at least? I just said na I like you pero hindi ka na nagsalita diyan.” Aiah said, frustrated and only her eyes and her forehead were visible on the screen.
Jhoanna flashed a smile—a small but delicate smile. “S-Sorry po, nabigla lang.” she said while adjusting her eyeglasses. “Ano ulit ‘yun?” Pang aasar pa niya.
Aiah rolled her eyes, “Now you’re acting like you didn’t hear it.” she clicked her tongue and sighed. “I like you, Jho.”
“Ano ulit?” Jhoanna asked again, tilting her head to act like she needed to listen.
“I said I like you! Ano ba ‘yan, Jho. Are you bingi? Did you lose your hearing? Sabi ko nga gusto kita! Gosh, Jhoanna.” Aiah said directly and massaged her temples.
Jhoanna chuckled, ang endearing kasi tignan ni Aiah kapag natataranta’t tila nanenerbyos sa sinabi niya. Ni hindi na rin ito makatingin nang deretso sa mata ni Jhoanna. She frowns at the camera, and when Jhoanna turns to look at her, umiiwas naman ito ng tingin nang pairap.
“I like you more,” she replied, which made Aiah gaze at her. “But you don’t have to tell me that just because I told you na I’m uncomfortable with Gelo hanging out with you.”
Aiah frowned again, this time, pinapakita na niya ang buong mukha niya. Kitang kit ana rin talaga kung ano ang reaksyon nito sa sinabi ni Jhoanna. She looks displeased, parang hindi sang ayon sa sinabi niya.
“You really thought of that after I spent my time with you during those nights? Iyan pa talaga ang inisip mo after we held hands, tell each other some secrets, video calling with you until we sleep— because those weren’t the things that I normally do to a friend, Jhoanna.” dere deretso nitong saad. “You’re missing my point here. I didn’t tell you those words to sugarcoat you. I said na I like you kasi gusto talaga kita, and that’s the truth.”
A moment of silence for Jhoanna because her little heart can’t take Aiah’s words.
Ibang klase rin kasi itong si Aiah. Kani-kanina lang kasi ay punong puno ng duda si Jhoanna pero ngayon ay nakakatanggap na naman siya ng assurance galing sa kaniya. The familiar comfort of their bond felt both strangely reassuring and utterly inadequate to contain the explosive emotions now erupting within her. She felt a dizzying rush of happiness, a giddy lightness that threatened to send her soaring, yet simultaneously anchored by a deep-seated incredulity. Could this really be happening? Was this real, or some fantastical dream from which she would soon awaken? A wave of warmth washed over her, but it was intertwined with a chilling sense of unreality, a feeling of being suspended between two worlds – the familiar world of their friendship, and a new, unknown world where their feelings were mutual.
Aiah watched her, her own emotions a mirror to hers – a mixture of hope and trepidation. She saw the disbelief in her eyes, the struggle to process the enormity of what she'd just said. She understood; it was a lot to take in. The air vibrated with the unspoken question: what now? The answer, for both of them, remained elusive, lost somewhere in the dizzying aftermath of a confession that had changed everything.
“I like you, I really do. Ayaw kong maisip mo na nami-misunderstood mo lahat ng actions ko towards you, kaya ngayon pa lang, I’ll put an end to that. Hahayaan mo lang din naman sigurong gustuhin kita, hindi ba?”
-------------------------------------------------------
Jhoanna woke with a groan, a low, guttural sound that surprised even her. Her body felt like it had been run over by a particularly heavy, bulldozer. Every muscle screamed in protest, a symphony of aches and twinges. She’d slept soundly, she was sure of it, yet she felt like she’d spent the night wrestling a bear – and lost. She tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot through her lower back, forcing her to collapse back onto the pillow with a muffled yelp.
The sheets felt heavy, the air thick and suffocating. Even the sunlight streaming through the gap in her curtains felt aggressive, too bright, too insistent. The ache wasn't just confined to her back. Her neck was stiff, her shoulders tense, and her legs felt like lead weights. She gingerly touched her left knee; a dull throb answered her touch. It was as if her entire body had decided to stage a rebellion, a silent protest against the indignities of existing. Maybe she’d pushed herself too hard from yesterday.
With a sigh, she dragged herself out of bed, each movement a carefully calculated maneuver to avoid triggering a fresh wave of pain. Nag-take na rin siya ng gamot to ease the pain even for a bit bago siya pumasok sa school. Bumili pa ito ng isang pack ng salonpas at agad inilagay sa mga parteng makasakit sa kanya kahit hirap na hirap na ito. She doesn't want na mahalatang masakit ang katawan niya kasi she knows it will cost her a little time for their other members. Ayaw niyang mag adjust sila ng time and effort para lang i-fill ang absence niya kung sakali.
Kasama niya ulit si Taneo. She gently massaged her shoulders while trying to keep a straight face. Ginalaw galaw niya pa ang mga ito para mabawasan sana ang sakit but it doesn't. Even salonpas and alaxan can't even tend it. Sobrang sakit talaga ng katawan niya.
"Ayos ka lang?" Taneo asked him when he probably sensed her discomfort. Binitawan niya muna ang camera at saka tinuon ang atensyon kay Jhoanna. "Masakit ba balikat mo? Gusto mo i-massage kita konti?" Pagpapatuloy pa niya. Minataan siya ni Jhoanna which made the latter raised his hands.
"Huy harmless ako, ha! Promise, ima-massage lang kita kung gusto mo. Mukha kasing nasasaktan ka talaga diyan eh." Saad nito't tinignan si Jhoanna na medyo nag aalala.
Jhoanna groaned when she thought that she hit the right spot because she heard it cracks. Medyo gumaan ang loob niya roon kaya tinignan niya si Taneo tsaka ngumiti. "Hindi na, I can handle it. Tsaka huwag mo nang dagdagan ang mga pictures natin na-post, please lang." Pabiro niyang saad na nagpahalakhak kay Taneo.
"Sira! Sinabihan ko na silang huwag mag stolen sa atin."
"Ay weh? Real ba? Baka mamaya pang dispatch na naman ang peg ng mga kasama mo ha."
"Hindi na nga eh! Ito naman ang lakas ng trust issue." Jhoanna clicked her tongue and shrugged.
Ayaw niya lang din talaga na may makita na naman siyang picture nila ni Taneo na pakalat kalat sa social media. Iba pa naman ang iniisip ng karamihan kapag may nakita silang ganoon. Magkatabi lang na opposite sex, ginagawan nila ng issue lahat.
"Okay, sabi mo 'yan eh. Kapag mamaya talaga may na-post na naman..."
Taneo shook his head and raised his right hand, seemingly promising something. "Wala na talaga. Ako lang ang nandito ngayon na member ng pub."
Jhoanna nodded then again averted her gaze on the court. Sumasakit na naman din ang balikat niya kaya hinawakan niya ulit ito at pinagalaw.
"Ay matanong ko lang." Taneo suddenly asked that made Jhoanna looked at him with questioning eyes. "If I may, pwede ko bang tanungin kung may nagugustuhan ka ngayon?" He asked, seemingly hesitant. "M-May nasabi kasi si Pres sa akin kahapon."
"Anong sinabi niya?" Jhoanna asked, mas interesado pa siya sa kung ano ang sinabi ni Aiah kaysa sa mismong tanong.
"S-Sabi niya you're already interested in with someone else."
Napahinto siya sa paghimas ng balikat niya. Then, she remembered what they talked about last night. Nag automatic na uminit ang mukha niya dahil doon.
“She did? Ano pang sabi niya?” she replied while avoiding Taneo’s eyes. Pero gad niya rin itong tinignan nang mapagtantong parang may mali. “Teka, ba’t pala niya nasabi ‘yun? Anong nabanggit mo’t nasabi niya tuloy na may nagugustuhan na ako?”
Taneo just shrugged, sinusubukan niyang huwag ipahalata na nasabi niya kay Aiah na may gusto siya kay Jhoanna. “Wala lang, basta pinag uusapan ka lang naming tas napunta sa part na bigla niyang nasabi na may gusto kang iba.”
Jhoanna squinted her eyes; her face was painted with visible doubt. “Weh? Bakit niyo naman ako pinag uusapan?”
“Uh, kasi ikaw ‘yung kasama ko sa task at gusto kong malaman kung ano ang status mo?”
“Sa dami ng pwede mong tanungin, ‘yung status ko pa talaga tungkol doon ang gusto mong malaman?”
“Hindi ko naman ‘yun tinanong eh! Sinabi nga lang niya biglaan.”
Jhoanna stopped for a second, seemingly intrigued by what Taneo just mentioned. She shifted from her seat and adjusted her eyeglasses before questioning Taneo again.
“Okay. P-Pero may sinabi pa ba siyang iba?” she hesitantly asked before turning her gaze to the floor.
Gusto niyang malaman kung sinabi niya bang siya mismo ang nagugustuhan niya.
“Wala naman na, iyon lang. Pero tinatanong ko lang sa’yo para may confirmation. And now, seeing how you reacted…” he stopped to stare at Jhoanna who was now cupping her flushed cheeks. Taneo sighed a kind wherein he accepted the fact. “Totoo nga.” Pagpapatuloy niya at saka binaling na lang din ang tuon sa court.
The man was just planning to shoot his shot without the hope of it being acknowledge. Pero medyo sumakit ang loob niya sa kadahilanang hindi pa niya naipapakita ang motibo niya’y agad na niyang alam na wala na siyang pag-asa.
Jhoanna, on the other hand, completely unaware of her colleague’s turmoil, picked a loose strand on her shirt and her gaze was fixed on her hands. Hindi man niya narinig ang gusto niyang sagot ay hindi parin niya maikalma ang kanyang sarili. Inaalala niya parin ang sinabi sa kanya ni Aiah kagabi. She remembered how her heart race and how her hand beads with sweat when she said those words. Ngayon ay bumibilis na naman ang tibok ng puso niya dahil doon.
Gusto niya na rin si Jhoanna. Their feelings were confirmed mutual. But what now? Are they considered dating at this point?
Inayos niya ang salamin niya at pinakalma ang sarili. Her body ache was temporary out of her mind and her thoughts are filled with something else, entirely. Dating? Nasa ganoong stage na ba sila? A faint blush crept up her neck and cheeks at that thought. She tried to mask it again by cupping her face and fanned it. Pero tila lumalala pa ito dahil paulit ulit din nag play sa utak niya ang sinabi ni Aiah.
“I like you.”
“I like you, I really do”
“Those weren’t the things that I normally do to a friend”
“I didn’t tell you those words to sugarcoat you.”
“I said I like you!”
“Huy, Jhoanna!”
“Ay I like you!” biglang saad ni Jhoanna dahil nabigla ito sa kung sinumang humawak at tumawag sa kaniya. Agad itong napatakip ng bunganga at tinignan si Taneo na ngayon ay natatawa sa kaniya.
“Weh? Gusto mo pala ako ha.” Taneo teased, his brows are moving up and down while poking Jhoanna on the side.
Agad na umiling si Jhoanna. “Hindi! Hindi ikaw 'yun! Nagulat lang talaga ako dahil pabigla bigla ka.”
Taneo clicked his tongue and instantly stopped poking Jhoanna after what she said. Nawala na rin ang malaking ngiti nito at napalitan ng ngisi. Hindi maipagkakailang napuruhan ang ego niya sa biglaang pagbanggit ni Jhoanna na hindi siya ang gusto nito.
“Pinamukha pa talaga eh.” He whispered, hindi rin narinig ni Jhoanna. “Tapos na kasi ‘yung game oh! Masyado ka kasing pre-occupied diyan at hinid mo namalayang nagsisigawan na ang mga taong nandito.”
Nanlaki ang mata ni Jhoanna nang mapagtanto niyang maingay na nga ang paligid niya at medyo nagkakagulo na ang mga tao. Some errupted from cheers and looked happy from the result of the game. Some looks dissapointed and remorseful, maybe felt contrite about how the game ended.
"Ay sorry, hindi ko namalayan."
"Hindi mo talaga mamamalayan kapag iba ang naiisip mo. Sino ba ‘yan at bakit ang swerte niya?”
She thinks of Aiah, therefore she automatically smiled. “Oh, kita mo, nangingiti na naman siya. Napakaswerte talaga.”
Jhoanna playfully rolled her eyes, “Ako ‘yung swerte sa kaniya. Halika ka na nga! Ako na naman kasi trip mo eh. Punta na nga lang tayo r’on para i-interview ‘yung nanalo at kuhanan mo rin ng picture para may mai-report na tayo mamaya.”
Taneo shot a playful yet downcast smile. “Oo nga eh.” He meant that the other way around.
The roar of the crowd had subsided to a low hum, but the energy still thrummed in the cavernous stadium. The air hung heavy and warm, thick with the scent of sweat and polished wood. Jhoanna’s notepad felt damp in her hand. Across from her was the newly crowned champion of the men's and women’s divisions in Badminton, their breathing even despite the adrenaline still coursing through their veins. The bright stadium lights glinted off the polished surface of their racket, a stark contrast to the shadows that stretched long and deep across the empty stands. Taneo, his camera a silent sentinel, moved subtly around them, capturing the post-match atmosphere – the lingering tension, the quiet satisfaction.
She texted Aiah to ask if she had already eaten. Magsasabay sana silang kumain kung hindi. She waited for 10 minutes for her reply but she wasn’t responding. Gutom na siya and it’s already past twelve. Good thing that Taneo was still around kaya niyaya nalang niya itong kumain. Throughout the meal, Jhoanna steals glances at her phone to check for Aiah’s reply, but there aren’t any. She made a mental note to check her for herself at the gym later or maybe ask her ate Colet.
She parted ways with Taneo after they ate. He offered to walk with her to the gym but she politely declined, she’s not comfortable being with him alone now because of that picture. Baka ma-issue na naman, ika niya.
Nagulat siya noong nakarating na siya ng gym because wala pang ala una eh halos mapuno na ng tao rito. Nahahalata kung ano ang favorite panoorin ng mga tao, or say, the women, kasi halos half ng population ng tao ngayon nasa gym ay mga babae. Jhoanna scans the crowd when she arrived, she thinks of the place where the officers mostly spectate. Ngumiti siya nang makita niyang nandoon nga ang mga kasamahan niya malapit sa mga players.
She spotted Colet and Mikha, but the specific person that she wanted to see was nowhere to be found.
“Ate Colet!” tawag ni Jhoanna sa kaniya, agad naman siyang nakita ni Mikha kaya tinapik niya si Colet dahilan para tignan niya ito. “Saan si ate Aiah? By the way, hi Mikhs!” bati niya’t tumango at kumaway lang din si Mikha.
“Hintayin mo nalang siya rito, pumunta lang siya saglit sa office. May inasikaso lang.”
Jhoanna nodded and settled beside Colet. Aiah must really be busy kasi kanina pa ito walang chat. Usually, she sent her an update from time to time but she never sent her one this day. She wonders what’s up.
As if on a cue, she saw Aiah gracefully walking towards them with some paper bag in her hand. Tila nagiging runway ang mga dinadaanan niya every time she walks. Kung sa paglakad palang malakas na ang dating, paano pa kaya kapag sinamahan niya ito ng ngiti?
Jhoanna’s little heart pumped faster from her chest when she noticed that Aiah’s smile grew wider when she spotted her. Ibang klase talaga ang babae na ‘to.
“Hi! Buti nandito ka.” Aiah greeted Jhoanna while she only shot a smile to Colet and Mikha. “I bought some snacks while I was on my way here. Baka kasi gutumin tayo.”
“Napaka thoughtful naman. Sali ba kami diyan?” tanong ni Colet and give Aiah a knowing look.
Aiah nodded. “Of course, silly ka. Kanina ko pa kayo kasama ni Mikha rito. Malamang ibibilhan ko rin kayo. Para sa atin nga lahat ‘to.” She pointed the bag full of snacks, karamihan chichirya.
“Congrats pala, Mikhs! Narinig ko ‘yung announcement kanina na nanalo ‘yung team niyo tas MVP ka na naman!” Jhoanna clapped after she spoke. Her eyes were glittering from joy.
Mikha smirked and ran her hand to her hair. The simple move made Colet bite her cheeks inside.
“What? Like it’s hard? Hindi naman na ‘yan bago.”
Jhoanna and Colet scoffed, the playfulness in her voice was so evident and some people might think that she was arrogant because of the way she talked.
“Ang hangin talaga, grabe. Daig pa ‘yung aircon sa SC.”
“Oo nga eh, hindi man lang nagpa humble kahit isang segundo lang.” Jhoanna teases while fanning herself, pinapaypayan niya ang sarili niya dahil inaasar niyang mahangin si Mikha.
Mikha just rolled her eyes while keeping their playful banter. Aiah was watching them, amused that they were teasing each other while she’s in between them. Mas natutuwa rin ito dahil nakikita niyang ngumingiti si Jhoanna habang nakikipag asaran.
When the banter subsided, Aiah was waiting her turn to get Jhoanna’s attention. When Jhoanna’s eyes turned to her, agad na itong ngumiti. She leaned in, closer to Jhoanna’s ear. “Did you eat na? I’m sorry I didn’t update you kanina. My phone was dead batt and nakalimutan ko siyang i-charge kaninang umaga.”
That explains why Jhoanna’s phone was quiet the half day.
Jhoanna fixed her eyeglasses before she leaned into Aiah to whisper. “It’s okay. Busy din naman ako kanina, and yes, kumain na ako. I hope you did too.”
Aiah smiled and leaned again, Jhoanna was already positioned to listen this time and her smile was hopelessly setting at her face. “I did na rin. The food’s a bit bland lang kasi you’re not with me.”
They faced each other after that, their smiles so wide it was almost ripping their lips. Their cheeks were flushed, at wala man lag kinalaman ang init ng panahon dahil doon. How they interact with each other is the only thing that is keeping them in that state, simple yet adorable.
“Parang tanga. Kung magbulungan kala niyo naman ang ingay ingay ng paligid niyo.” Colet scolded them which made them chuckle in unison. “Kung may chismis kayo, i-share niyo para hindi kayo parang tanga riyan na nagbubulung bulungan. Kung hindi naman chismis at naghaharutan lang kayo, get a room nalang pwede?”
Jhoanna and Aiah erupted into a fit of giggles, their earlier nervousness replaced by pure, unadulterated glee. They stole glances at each other and smiled like how a child reacts when given some toys. The way their shoulders bumped accidentally was making Jhoanna’s heart flutter in joy. Sa dami ng tao sa gym, wala ni isang tao na may alam kung paano kaimportante kay Jhoanna ang mga simpleng bagay na ito. Ang pagtabi nilang dalawa ni Aiah, pasimple nilang pag uusap, at ang mga ngitian nilang dalawa.
It felt too good and it felt so right.
But why are happy moments often short-lived?
The gymnasium doors opened. A murmur spread across the audience and gained intensity until it exploded. Then, the roar hit. The noise became more than sound; it became a tangible power that resonated deep within Jhoanna’s chest. The various cheers merged into one deafening sound which proved the team’s widespread fame. Before her, lay a vast ocean of people with diverse emotions ranging from absolute surprise to extreme enthusiasm to devout loyalty from seasoned supporters. A new sonic wave erupted for every single player during their entrance from the team. A powerful tension filled the air as spectators breathed as one and then erupted into louder cheers when the team reached the court.
The LED screen opened and revealed the player’s appearance which made the crowd thundered even more. Napatakip agad sa tenga si Jhoanna dahil sa ingay. Nang tinignan niya ang screen ay nakita niyang nakatutok na ang camera sa kinababaliwan nilang tao. No wonder why the girls are cheering, nakita na pala nila si Gelo.
Hindi pa nakakarecover si Jhoanna ay bigla ulit humiyaw ang mga tao nang sa isang screen naman ay pinakita ang mukha ni Aiah. Great! Now they look like a couple na kinagigiliwan ng mga tao.
Gelo noticed the screen and smiled widely nang makita niyang laman sila ng dalawang screen na iyon. He scanned the crowd, seemingly looking for Aiah, at nang makita niya ito’y nagpaalam muna siya sa coach niya at saka tumakbo papalapit sa pwesto nila. That earned another cheer from the crowd. Lahat tuloy ng mata ay nakatuon na sa kanila.
Napaka-oa! Napaka-extra! Napaka-PDA!
“Hi, Queen!” he said, his voice barely audible above the lingering hum of the crowd. “I know na pupunta ka but it’s still felt surreal to see you here.” He added, then gave Aiah a quick hug.
Jhoanna felt out of place kaya binalak niyang ilayo ang upuan niya. But before it could even happen, Aiah was quick to grip her hand gently to stop Jhoanna. She was holding Jhoanna’s arm while her freehand was used to hug Gelo back.
“I’m here because it’s my designated area rin. So I have no choice but to watch your game.”
“You said that like you’re not happy to watch me here.”
“Silly, you know it’s not like that naman. Tsaka you go na nga! Ang ingay na ng mga tao because of you. Go, and good luck to your game.” Aiah no longer wants to expand their conversation so she thinks of a way to make it stop. As much as possible, she doesn’t want Jhoanna to feel any negative feelings during their interaction. Plus, the cheers aren’t helping.
Gelo chuckled and leaned in closer because the noise from the crowd is getting out of hand and hindi na masyadong naririnig ang usapan nila. Aiah subtly tilted back and turned her gaze to Jhoanna, who was now looking at them with a blank face.
“Thank you! And can I take you out after this? You know, like the old times?” Gelo asked and looked at Aiah with a pleasing eye.
Aiah looked at Jhoanna for a while, her eyes telling her to do something but Jhoanna turned down her gaze and swiftly removed her hand from Aiah’s grip.
“Uhm, let’s see what I can do. Baka may work din kasi akong kailangang gawin eh. I’ll update you nalang, Gelo.”
Gelo returned to his team afterwards. Jhoanna was now scrolling to her phone, hoping to see some issues na mapagtutuunan niya ng pansin. Kapag sa mga ganoong bagay ang ingay ingay ng mga tao pero kapag sa issue ng bansa hindi man lang bumoboses ang iba!
Aiah sighed after that, she felt na naubos ang social battery niya after that interaction. The crowd is keeping her nervous and anxious, hindi niya tuloy magawa ang gusto niyang gawin kanina dahil sa dami ng matang nakatingin sa kanila. She looked at Jhoanna who’s frowning to her phone, looking like she’s combating with someone online. Aiah pouted and pulled Jhoanna’s chair closer to her. Nabigla naman si Jhoanna sa ginawa niya ngunit hindi na rin ito nagreklamo dahil nalaman naman niyang si Aiah ang humila sa kaniya.
Aiah placed her head on Jhoanna’s shoulder and snaked her hand on her waist making the other one yelp in surprise. She sat there, comfortably, as if there were no other people on to room. Jhoanna looked at Colet to check if she was looking at them, fortunately, both she and Mikha were busy on their phone.
“What are you doing?” Binaba ni Jhoanna ang phone niya para tanungin siya. “Ang daming tao rito, Aiah.”
Aiah tightened her grip, “So? They won’t mind, Jho. Just relax.”
“Feeling ko kasi andaming nakatingin sa atin.”
“Don’t mind them nga.” Aiah voiced out in the softest sound which made Jhoanna look at her with mischief. “Wala naman akong ginagawang masama, Jho.” Aiah shifted to look back at Jhoanna. “Unless you don’t want me to lean on you? Sabihin mo lang, Jhoanna. Pipirmi agada ko.”
Jhoanna swallowed the invisible lump in her throat. Paano niya ba i-interpret ang sinabi ni Aiah? Was that a threat? A simple validation? Or something like... “Please allow me to do it.” phrase?
She cleared her throat and averted her gaze. “H-Hindi naman sa ganun. Y-You can lean on my shoulder, I don’t mind.”
Aiah smiled like she won on a lottery. Ginawa niya ulit ang ginawa niya kanina at mas lalo pa niyang hinigpitan ang hawak niya dahil may permission naman na galing kay Jhoanna. Aiah made herself comfortable amidst the roaring of the crowd and sea of eyes that probably staring at them. But all she cares about was how peaceful it is to lay in Jhoanna’s shoulder.
Colet smirked when she saw the scene. It made her wonder what their real score was now but she made sure to ask Aiah later. For now, she let them be, fully engrossed in their bubble instead of the game in front of them.
---------------------------------------------------
“Pres, nakaready na raw po ‘yung mga camera para sa live stream mamaya. ‘Yung mga lights din, naayos na tapos mag soundcheck na mamaya ‘yung mga iba’t ibang banda para sa battle of the bands. So far, okay naman na po lahat.”
Aiah smiled and expressed her gratitude when the head of the technical team came to reach out for update. Last day na ngayon ng intramurals nila and mostly ang mga activities na gaganapin nalang ngayon ay awarding ng mga nanalo sa sports at ibang socio-cultural events sa hapon. Tapos mamayang gabi naman ay gaganapin pa lang ang battle of the bands at pageant. Iyon ang mga event na isa sa mga gustong gusto panoorin ng mga tao bukod sa basketball.
“Salamat ulit, Borj.” Saad ni Aiah at nakipag handshake bago ito umalis.
Aiah opened her clipboard to check if there were still some adjustments to make. Nakipag ugnayan din siya sa iba’t ibang management para ikumpirma kung may adjustments pa sa ibang aspekto. Gumaan ang loob niya nang malamang wala. That means, less work for her, more time to slack off for a short time.
She spotted Maloi from the outside when she’s at the gym’s door. Tinawag niya ito kaagad at lumapit.
“Where are you heading? Kakain na ba kayo?” Aiah asked while walking.
Maloi nodded and smiled. “Oo, halika na para sabay na rin tayo. Tapos ka na ba sa work mo?”
“Yeah, okay na raw and ready na for later. Did you see the stage? Ang ganda ng pagkakagawa nila!” Aiah proudly says, her eyes glittering with mischief.
“Ah oo! Bet na bet ko rin ‘yung lightings niya. Pumunta rin kasi ako dito kagabi eh.”
“Huh? Hindi ka pa umuwi noon or bumalik ka lang dito? Tsaka what are you doing here kagabi? Tumulong ka ba sa pagdedecorate?” sunod sunod na tanong ni Aiah.
Maloi scratched her cheek, “Uh, bumalik lang ako rito pero hindi ako tumulong. Sinundo ko lang si Staku sa practice nila.”
Aiah’s brow furrowed, entirely confused by what she heard. “Aren’t you and Staku living in the opposite direction? Bakit ikaw ang sumundo?”
“Hindi naman ako nainform na may on the spot interview pala tayo rito, miss ma’am?”
She jokingly hits Maloi’s arm and laughs. “Curious lang ako! Ito naman.”
Maloi also laughed, then she remembered na hindi pa pala nila nasasabi sa iba ang status nila ni Stacey.
“Hindi pa ba nasabi sa’yo ni Jho?”
“Ang alin? She told me a lot of things kaya dapat maging specific ka para malaman ko kung nasabi niya nga sa akin.”
“’Yung tungkol sa amin ni Staks.”
“What about you two?” Tumaas ang kilay ni Aiah habang naglalakad sila. But she was so ready to hear whatever Maloi was trying to say.
“Kami ni Staku. Together. Girlfriends.” Maloi said briefly while sticking her two index fingers together, creating a visual representation of what she said.
Napatigil sila sa paglalakad, only because Aiah was stunned and Maloi joined her. For a moment, Aiah could only stare, her mouth slightly open, her mind struggling to process the unexpected news.
Well, she knew that Maloi wasn’t just as straight as her other friends were. She always says how pretty girls make her nervous every time. But Aiah never put malice about that because she feels just like that when she stares at Jhoanna even for a short time. She thought it was normal. So, after all this time, Maloi was part of that community?
Now she wonders about her sexuality now.
“Huy! Ba’t naman gulat na gulat ka riyan?” Maloi asked, chuckling at Aiah’s reaction because she looked like she’d seen a ghost.
“Well para sa taong unaware, normal reaction naman talaga siguro ang magulat?” Aiah shot back, still on awe but managed to roll her eyes because Maloi was laughing.
They continued to walk, medyo malayo pa naman ang pupuntahan nilang kainan kaya kinwento na muna ni Maloi kung paano nangyari na naging sila ni Stacey. Aiah has no clue on where they going but she continued to follow Maloi. Kailangan niya rin hindi humiwalay dahil gusto niyang marinig ang kwento nilang dalawa. Aiah felt giddy at some point, cute kasi ang love story nilang dalawa and smooth. It was all too sudden but she was glad that they were working it out along the process.
“Pero seryoso, hindi pa talaga nakwento sa’yo ni Jho?”
Aiah shaked her head. “Never niya nakwento sa akin. Tsaka matagal na pala kayo, ngayon mo lang sinabi sa’kin!”
“Nakalimutan ko siguro? Tsaka hindi ka naman nagtatanong eh, paano ko sasabihin?”
“Bakit naman kasi hihintayin mo pa akong magtanong? You could just say it to me na lang ‘no!”
“Sus! Ang sabihin mo rin, preoccupied ka lang sa ibang bagay kaya hindi mo kami napapansin. Si Colet nga nahalata niya eh, ikaw hindi!”
Nanlaki ang mata ni Aiah dahil doon. “So all this time, it was me nalang na hindi nakakaalam?” she asked, completely flabbergasted.
“Oo, te. As in, ikaw nalang.”
Aiah pouted, but then she remembered the way the two interacted at the office. Medyo clingy nga sila. So what Aiah thought na platonic gestures lang ang mga ‘yun ay mali pala? It was intimate all along!
“But serious question, how? I mean…” Aiah stopped from her steps to face Maloi, “You two look so feminine to be gay. So paano?” she asked, too curious and must be answered immediately.
“So is a spaghetti until it gets we—”
Aiah immediately pokes Maloi on her side to stop completing the phrase. “Ew, not that, please. Sagutin mo nalang kasi ‘yung question!”
“Eto naman kasi napaka ano.” She faced Aiah. “Ganito kasi ‘yan—wala sa pananamit or sa physical appearance ang pagiging bading. It’s about how you felt about that person regardless of their gender or sex. Kung attracted ka sa opposite sex mo lang, then congrats, you’re straight. Pero kapag nagkagusto ka sa kapwa mo babae or sa aking anong sexual identities, bading ka. End of story. Gets mo ba?”
Aiah just nodded and they continued to walk to wherever they going. Thoughts flooded Aiah’s mind at each step. Maloi’s words kept running circles into her mind. Is she considered part of the community too? Can she call herself “bading” at this point? She liked Jhoanna, a girl, just like her. So that means bading na rin siya, right?
She kept her thoughts on her mind as they arrived at the place. Along the school grounds lang din siya but it isn’t the cafeteria na palagi nilang pinupuntahan. Parang bago lang din ata ‘yung place dahil hindi naman familiar kay Aiah. They arrived at their table but she realized that Jhoanna wasn’t there.
“Where’s Jho? Hindi ko siya makita rito.” She asked her members.
“Ay nakalimutan ko rin palang sabihin sa’yo.” Maloi sipped a drink from her cup before responding. “Wala siya ngayon, hindi pumasok. Masakit katawan niya kagabi tas nilalagnat kaya sinabi ko na ipahinga nalang niya’t huwag munang pumasok kasi baka lumala.”
Aiah’s brow creased. Last night, she was sure that Jhoanna never mentioned that she was sick. So how come Maloi knew about it?
“Doon kasi kami dumeretso muna ni Staku kagabi noong tumawag siya. Dinalhan naming ng gamot tas doon nalang kami natulog.”
“Eh kamusta siya kaninang umaga? Bumababa naman ‘yung lagnat?” Aiah asked, deeply concerned about Jhoanna’s condition.
Tumango lamang si Maloi, “Oo, medyo okay na siya kanina pero hindi ko muna siya pinag cellphone para makapagpahinga nang mabuti.”
Aiah nodded in relief. At least may assurance na bumaba ang lagnat niya. Throughout the meal, all she was thinking about was her. Kung kumain na ba siya, nag take na ba ng gamot, o kung kamusta na siya ngayon. She felt helpless, wala siyang kalam alam tungkol sa nangyari sa kanya kagabi at hindi man lang siya sinabihan ni Jhoanna. Kaya pala maaga siyang nagpaalam para matulog, tinawagan niya lang pala si Maloi for help. But why not her? Why does Jhoanna need to call other people eh sila naman ‘yung palaging magkausap? The thought made Aiah’s stomach churn.
Nag isip siya ng paraan to reach her, pero hindi pala ito possible because Maloi restricted Jhoanna in using her phone. Kilala niya si Jhoanna, susunod talaga ito sa utos ng naktatanda sa kaniya. Now, Aiah is frustrated. She felt so helpless dahil wala siyang ibang maisip na paraan para ma-reach out si Jhoanna kung hindi puntahan lang ito sa apartment niya. But how can she get there now? May responsibilities pa siyang kailangang gampanan dito sa school na hindi niya rin maiwan.
Colet noticed that Aiah was looking stressed. Binaba niya muna ang phone niya at saka ito nilapitan para alamin kung anong iniisip niya.
She tapped her shoulder and sat beside her, “Lalim ng iniisip ah. Problemang lovelife ulit?” she asked, pero plano niya rin ang mang asar kung sakaling tama nga ang hinala niya.
Aiah rolled her eyes and sighed, “Is it possible na i-ditch ko muna ang awarding ngayon?”
Colet’s brow raised. “Boang ka ba? Why are you planning to run away? Malapit na ang awarding ng mga nanalo.”
“I know. It’s not possible right?” Aiah replied and sighed heavily this time. Para na siyang batang kawawa na hindi napagbigyan sa gusto niya.
Pinagmasdan lang muna siya ni Colet. If she guessed right, Aiah was thinking to go to Jhoanna’s place to take care of her. She saw how Aiah reacted when Maloi told her that Jhoanna was sick. Kaya malamang sa malamang ay iniisip na nitong puntahan siya. She smirked and shake her head, tinamaan na ‘to, she thought. Normally, Aiah would only chat her to get better and to drink her meds on time. Pero ngayon, gusto na niyang puntahan ito’t alagaan.
What an upgrade.
“Go, I’ll cover for you.” Colet suggested. Nakuha roon ang atensyon ni Aiah.
She shifted from her seat, “Talaga?” she asked, kinokumpirma ppa niya kung talagang gagawin iyon ni Colet.
“Oo nga. Hindi naman ikaw ang MC ‘di ba? Isa ka lang naman sa tagabigay ng mga certificates and medal. Kaya ko na ‘yun. I’ll tell the MC and other officials na masama ang pakiramdam niyong dalawa ng vice president mo kaya ako muna ang in-assign mong OIC. Kaya go before I change my mind.”
No words, Aiah just hugged Colet tightly. She was happy that her friend can do something like that to support her. Damang dama nito ang pinaghalong kaba at saya sa dibdib niya. Kaba dahil first time niyang hindi um-attend ng awarding at saya dahil makikita niya si Jhoanna.
“Thanks, Col! Bawi ako next time.” Saad niya sabay dali-daling umalis.
Pumara na siya agad ng taxi pagkalabas palang niya sa school. It’s a good thing that they oftentimes did their backlogs at Jhoanna’s place last year. Ngayon ay kabisado pa niya ang address nito.
“Thanks, kuya! Sa inyo na po ‘yung sukli!” Aiah smiled and gets out of the car.
Nang makarating siya sa harap ng door sa apartment ay agad na nitong pina ring ang doorbell. Aiah was tapping her foot while waiting for Jhoanna to open the door. A minute passed and there was no Jhoanna on the doorstep so she hit the doorbell again.
“Jho?” sigaw ni Aiah and knocks at the door. “Are you there?” she knocks again and dinikit niya ang kaniyang tenga sa door.
Nabigla ito at napaatras nang biglaang magbukas ang pinto at niluwal nito si Jhoanna. Nanlaki naman ang mata niya nang makitang si Aiah nga talaga ang may ari ng boses.
“Aiah? Anong ginagawa mo rito?” she immediately asked, her voice was a bit hoarse maybe because of her fever.
“I came because I heard from Maloi na you’re sick.” She said then gently put her hand on Jhoanna’s forehead to check her temperature. “Hindi ka masyadong mainit but you’re temperature’s not normal parin. Did you drink your medicine?”
Jhoanna nodded and cleared her throat. “Hmm, may niluto si ate Maloi kanina na soup tas nireheat ko nalang para kainin.” She opened the door widely and signaled Aiah to come in. “Pasok ka, pasenya ka na hindi ako naglinis kaya sorry if may makita kang kalat.”
Aiah quickly removed her shoes before she entered. Jhoanna insisted to bring her shoes instead pero nagpumilit din si Aiah na huwag nalang. It’s an etiquette when you go to someone’s house. It’s always a rule to remove your shoes before entering the place. Binigyan naman siya ni Jhoanna ng slippers panlooob. Natuwa pa nga ito dahil it’s a yellow chick indoor slipper. Super cute, kamukha ni Jhoanna.
Nakakatuwa rin dahil ang linis parin ng loob kahit sinabi ni Jhoanna na hindi siya naglinis. Ni isa kasing kalat ay walang makita si Aiah. It was all neat and tidy, contrast to what Jhoanna said earlier.
“May gusto ka bang kainin or inumin? Ipaghahanda kita kung sakali.” Jhoanna asked and Aiah was quick to respond.
“No, Jho! You can go to your room to take a rest. Bantayan lang kita rito sa living room.”
Jhoanna scratched the back of her neck. “Babantayan mo ako pero dito ka sa living room at sa kwarto ako? Ano ka? Bodyguard ko?”
Aiah chuckled. “No, pero alangan naman na dito ka sa sofa magpahinga? You won’t be comfortable here.”
“No, not here.” Jhoanna adjusted her eyeglasses and she avoided Aiah’s stare. “Sa kwarto,” she pointed at another door which seemed to be her room. “Sa kwarto ako magpapahinga pati ikaw. I know you’re tired from work. You need to rest too.”
Aiah smiled and nodded. The idea of resting beside Jhoanna was making her heart flutter in excitement. Jhoanna guided her into the room, it was dark at first but when Jhoanna turned on the lights, Aiah saw how spacious and tidy her room was. The room was painted with white and blue as its border. Nakita niya ulit na may stuff toy na chick si Jhoanna sa kanyang bed, maliit lang ito, parang plushie. Siguro iyon ang niyayakap ni Jhoanna kada gabi.
“Gusto mo bang ganito kaliwanag or yung lamp ko nalang ang i-open ko? Baka kasi hindi ka makatulog kapag masyadong maliwanag.”
“Uh, yeah. The lamp’s good.”
Jhoanna nodded and turned on the lamp first before turning off the light from the ceiling. Nauna siyang humiga and she tapped the side of the bed, shinting Aiah to come beside her. Aiah didn’t refuse, but she just sat beside Jhoanna first because she didn’t feel like sleeping. Gusto niya lang munang pagmasdan si Jhoanna. Umupo at sumandal lang din muna si Jhoanna sa headboard nang makita niyang hindi pa humihiga si Aiah.
Nakaupo lamang sila roon, nakatitig sa isa’t isa at wala halos ibang tunog na naririnig kundi ang kanilang pahinga. It’s amazing, Jhoanna thought, how Aiah’s beauty still shines from the dim light. How her brown eyes and hair still visible with a low amount of light from her room. Her beauty was ethereal, out of this world. Ano kaya ang pinaglihian sa kaniya ng mama niya’t ubod siya ng ganda ngayon?
“Why are you here pala? Hindi ba’t ngayong hapon ‘yung awarding at may part ka doon?”
Aiah nodded and smiled, “I have pero in-assign ko muna si Colet as OIC. I just don’t have the stamina to get on stage while thinking na you’re here tas may sakit ka. Walang mag aalaga sa’yo.”
Jhoanna’s heart race as she lets out a breath. Aiah’s gentle words and caring personality
“So hindi ka makakawatch ng pageant mamaya? You won’t see Stacey on the stage.” Aiah whispered.
Jhoanna sighed, “May livestream naman, doon nalang ako mamaya manonood. Nasabi ko na rin naman kay Stacey na hindi ako makakapunta and naiintindihan niya naman. I’ll still support her here, though sa screen nga lang. Hindi tuloy ako makashout dito nang malakas.”
Aiah chuckled, Jhoanna still has the energy to make a joke kahit may sakit siya. “Samahan nalang kita rito, let's shout to our hearts content."
They both laughed at the idea. Although mag isa si Jhoanna sa apartment niya, ayaw niya parin makaistorbo sa mga kapitbahay lalo na't magkakalapit lang ang mga bahay dito.
"Sayang naman kung pati ikaw ma-stuck dito. Mas maganda parin kung sa mismong venue ka manood." Jhoanna suggested. Gusto niya namang makasama si Aiah, pero ayaw niya rin na kailangang magsacrifice ni Aiah para lang samahan siya ngayon.
Aiah shrugged and smiled. She gazes softly at Jhoanna and tucks her hair on her ears, her finger slightly touching her earlob. The simple gesture made Jhoanna feel a shiver down her spine. It doesn't end there, because Aiah, suddenly had the urge to trace Jhoanna's face. She started with her forehead, down to her nose, to her cheeks and jaw, and she stopped at her chin. Jhoanna was ticklish, but she couldn't bring herself to stop Aiah from what she was doing. The movement was slow, so delicate, and soft. It was like she was taking her time to memorize Jhoanna's features.
"Mas maganda lang manood doon kapag nasa tabi kita." Aiah whispered and began to move her finger again. This time, tumaas ulit ang direksyon niya.
Jhoanna's breath hitched when she felt Aiah's finger hovering over her lips. The soft curve, the subtle tremor of her breath against her skin was enough to make Aiah feel intoxicated. She could feel the rhythm of her heart against her ribcage. Sobrang lakas at sobrang bilis, hindi na siya magtataka kung marinig man ito ni Jhoanna ngayon. But little did she know that Jhoanna was feeling the same too. She’d never been this close to her before, never felt the ghost of a smile playing on her lips as her fingertip brushed against them. The silence stretched, thick and heavy, punctuated only by their breathing and heartbeats.
Aiah wanted to lean closer, to lose herself in the moment, but a hesitant uncertainty held her back. Suddenly, Jhoanna’s hand gently covered hers, her fingers intertwining with Aiah. The touch was soft, warm, and reassuring, making Jhoanna close her eyes in contentment. She didn’t pull away; instead, she guided her hand to her cheeks, cupping her face in Aiah's palm. Her skin was soft and warm against her fingers. She felt the gentle rhythm of her pulse beneath her touch, a steady beat that mirrored the calm in her eyes. There was no anger, no fear, only a quiet contentment, a shared intimacy that filled the space between them.
“Can… can I hug you?” Aiah hesitantly asked when she felt the weight of the day.
Jhoanna’s eyes fluttered open, a gentle smile playing on her lips. She nodded then spread her arms for an invitation. Aiah gently moved her hands from her face, her fingers lingering for a moment before finally letting go. She reached out, her arms encircling her gently. Jhoanna's body leaned into Aiah's embrace, her head resting against her shoulder. The warmth of her skin against her and the gentle rhythm of Aiah's heartbeat against her own was a grounding presence, a comforting anchor in the quiet stillness of the day. Aiah held her close, feeling the tension slowly seep out of her body, replaced by a quiet peace.
"Higa ka na mamaya para makapagpahinga ka na rin. Kuha ka nalang ng damit ko sa may cabinet para makapagpalit ka into something comfortable." marahang saad ni Jhoanna sa kalagitaan ng yakap nila.
She felt Aiah nod then slowly, gently, they withdrew from the embrace. Aiah’s arms remained around Jhoanna’s shoulders, but the pressure lessened, allowing a space to breathe. She lifted her head, her eyes meeting Jhoanna in the dim light. "Hmm, thank you, and should take off your glasses before bed," Aiah chuckled. "Baka masira pa 'yan."
"I will po."
"Let me do the honor," Aiah suggested and smiled before taking Jhoanna's eyeglasses off. With a gentleness born of respect and affection, Aiah reached up, her fingers carefully finding the arms of her glasses. Her touch was feather-light and her movements deliberate and slow, as if handling something precious. She felt the warmth of her skin against his fingertips as she gently slid the glasses from her face.
Ang expressive talaga ng mata niya.
She looked at Jhoanna, her eyes now soft and unfocused, the world around them seemingly softened without the sharp clarity of her lenses. A wave of something akin to awe washed over her. She'd seen her countless times, of course, but seeing her like this, without the familiar barrier of her glasses, felt profoundly different.
"Do you still see me without your glasses?" Aiah joked.
Napatawa naman si Jhoanna at saka pabirong hinampas ang braso ni Aiah. "Sira ka talaga! Malabo lang ang paningin ko, hindi bulag, kaya nakikita parin kita."
"Ang ganda mo talaga, with or without it." Aiah suddenly whispers, almost breathless as she stares at Jhoanna. She saw a depth in her eyes, a vulnerability that captivated her, a beauty that went beyond the physical. It was a beauty that resonated with her soul, a beauty that was both breathtaking and deeply moving.
Hindi nakasalita si Jhoanna sa sinabi ni Aiah. She was just staring at her blurry figure, heart fluttering, and tongue-tied. The silence between them deepened filled with emotions that flowed within.
Jhoanna swallowed and unconsciously made her lips wet. "Aiah?" she asked.
"Hmm?"
"B-Bakit ka lumalapit?" she asked as she felt Aiah's breath, lingering on her face.
Napakapit siya unan niya. The proximity of their distance was making her nervous, yet, the excitement and anticipation to her chest was too strong to be avoided.
"I don't know either," Aiah whispered while staring at Jhoanna's lips-- so plump and so inviting. "Will you stop me?"
Jhoanna swallowed hard and the thumping of her heart was uncontrollable. She shakes her head slowly, nalulula parin sa lapit ng mukha at init ng paghinga ni Aiah.
When Aiah got the permission she wanted, wala na siyang pinalampas na oras. She met her lips with hers but for a short time. It was just a peck on the lips but her emotions were overflowing. She looked at Jhoanna's reaction before she leaned again.
Another peck.
Then again.
And when Aiah planned to lean again for the fourth time, Jhoanna took the initiative to close their distance and cup Aiah's face to kiss her... far more different than what Aiah was doing. She held her close, their lips pressing together for a soft, tender kiss. The intimacy was making Aiah's knees feel weak.
And God, her body almost gave up when she felt Jhoanna moving her lips, guiding her to do more.