Detention

“So what’s the big plan?” Seokjin asked, turning to Namjoon. The seven of them were standing in a circle in front of the secret entrance that Yoongi just magically discovered. Even if the seven of them did try to escape through that exit, they still had to make sure to get Filch’s task done by the end of the day too. That was exactly why everyone was looking at Namjoon, the man with the plan, expectantly.

“Well, what is it?” Yoongi pressed when Namjoon kept silent.

“Shh… can’t you see he’s still in the Zone?” Taehyung shushed him.

“The Zone?” Jimin frowned.

“You know, the ‘Serious Thinking Zone’”, Taehyung explained.

“That’s what you call it?” Seokjin. “We call it the 'Genius Namjoon Mode.’” Taehyung mulled the name over for a bit before shaking his head.

“'The Zone’ sounds cooler,” he decided. “Short but sweet.”

“Like Jimin?” Jungkook and Hoseok chorused before high-fiving.

“Shut up!” Jimin moaned and gave each of them a kick in the shins. 

“Yoongi,” Namjoon suddenly spoke up, causing everyone to turn attentively to him. “This passageway leads to the floor above us, right?" 

"Yeah,” Yoongi nodded. “Near Snape’s potion ingredient storage." 

"Professor Snape probably enchanted the lock on his storage so that it only opens with the key he uses,” Namjoon muttered. “An Alohomora charm won’t work." 

"Would lock-picking work?” Jungkook raised his hand.

“That… should work,” Namjoon mulled it over. “Assuming Professor Snape doesn’t add any other enchantments to the lock." 

"Wait… Why do you know how to lock-pick?” Hoseok frowned. 

“Because I always forget the combinations for the locks I use,” Jungkook laughed sheepishly.

“And you leave your keys everywhere too,” Jimin added.

“If push comes to shove, there’s a secret entrance that leads into Snape’s potion storage too,” Yoongi said. “There’s one behind the portrait next to the storage entrance. But it’s a very narrow passageway and you’ll be exiting from a hatch in the ceiling inside the storage room.”

“That’s good enough, at least there’s a back-up method,” Namjoon nodded. “Alright, the plan is we’re going to divide ourselves into three groups–”

“I call Hoseok!” Seokjin interrupted him, raising his hand in the air.

“No way! You got me into detention!” Hoseok protested.

“I’ll be deciding the groups,” Namjoon deadpanned. “Seokjin, you’ll be with Yoongi. Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung will form the second team." 

"Alright!” Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung cheered and high-fived. 

“We’re probably the dream team, right?” Hoseok grinned.

“No, you guys are the clumsy team,” Namjoon said, causing the three members of the second team to pout. “Jungkook and I will form the third team.”

“Namjoon’s clumsiness makes up for two people,” Seokjin elbowed Hoseok. 

“Expect your life expectancy to lower significantly,” Yoongi patted Jungkook’s shoulder sympathetically.

“Whatever, I’m with the man with the plan,” Jungkook shrugged.

“That’s right,” Namjoon nodded. “Jungkook and I will go through the passageway and then break into Professor Snape’s storage room.”

“Do you have a death wish?” Jimin gasped.

“Now I really expect my life expectancy to lower…” Jungkook sighed worriedly.

“I’ll need some potion ingredients to make a big enough distraction to lure Filch away,” Namjoon explained. “Jungkook can do the lock-picking and I know the exact ingredients to take. And if we need to use the secret entrance, I’ll just tell Jungkook what to get.”

“What do we do?” Jimin asked, gesturing at himself, Taehyung, and Hoseok. 

“You guys are the diversion,” Namjoon said. “After Jungkook and I leave, Hoseok, you will have to go to Filch and tell him that Taehyung and Jimin are messing around in the room. Then, Filch will come back here to find that Taehyung and Jimin really are messing around.”

“Ah, Namjoon’s plan really is smart,” Seokjin nodded. “You’re playing with what Filch is expecting to happen.”

“That’s why I always beat you at chess,” Namjoon smirked. Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Anyway, once Filch sees that Taehyung and Jimin are messing around, he’ll take them with him to his office.”

“Why do we get dragged to his office?” Taehyung and Jimin protested.

“You could say that you drew the 'short’ straw,” Jungkook laughed and elbowed Hoseok.

“If you joke about my height one more time you’re going to get it Jeon Jungkook,” Jimin fumed and kicked his friend in the shin again.

“Wait, I have a question,” Yoongi raised his hand. “How do we deal with Filch when he finds that you and Jungkook aren’t in the room?”

“That’s where you and Seokjin come in,” Namjoon answered. “You two stay in the closet while Filch is here. And when he asks where we are, Hoseok will say that we were busy sorting in the closet since we were bothered by the other three." 

"That sounds like us,” Yoongi nodded.

“Then, once Filch leaves with Taehyung and Jimin, Yoongi and the others will enter the passageway to meet me and Jungkook. Hopefully, we’ll have the potion made by then,” Namjoon continued. “After that, we’ll cause a commotion in the upper floor using the potion. There needs to be a lot of us to distract Filch. Once he hears the noise outside, he’ll leave Taehyung and Jimin in the office. The two of you then have to find our wands in time and then we’ll all meet in the second floor by the stairs to make sure that all parts of the plan went well.”

“And then we’ll head back here and sort everything using our wands, right?” Seokjin said.

“Yup,” Namjoon nodded. “But then Jimin and Taehyung have to make it back to the office before Filch does and return our wands." 

"Sounds like a plan,” Yoongi nodded.

“Our genius Namjoon-hyung really is the best,” Hoseok grinned.

“Yeah but there’s so much to remember and do,” Taehyung groaned. 

“I’ll help you out, we’re together for most of the plan,” Jimin said. “And besides, it sounds fun.”

“It’s better than sorting all of these things,” Jungkook added, kicking at a box of scrolls.

“You’re right,” everyone chorused.

“So, are we all in?” Namjoon asked, looking at them expectantly.

“Let’s all hang out at the Three Broomsticks after this is done,” Jimin grinned.

“Yeah! Team huddle guys!” Hoseok exclaimed and threw his arms around Yoongi and Seokjin on either side of him. 

“Do we have to?” Yoongi frowned.

“Team huddle!!” everyone else cheered, ignoring Yoongi and pulling him into the huddle.

“Do a pep talk Hoseok-hyung,” Jimin said.

“Why me?” Hoseok laughed. “Namjoon-hyung’s the one with the plan.”

“Nah, I’m going to say something lame,” Namjoon laughed. “And besides, since I came up with the plan you have to come up with the pep talk.”

“Fine,” Hoseok smiled and shook his head before glancing at everyone in the huddle. “Before us, so many other Hogwarts students have ended up in the unfortunate clutches of detention. So I guess we’re not that unique. But we’re also special because we are one of the few trying to break out instead of doing what’s required of us.”

“Doesn’t that make us seem like the bad guys?” Jimin wondered out loud.

“We’re not bad if we’re going against Filch,” Jungkook said. Jimin mulled that over before nodding in agreement.

“And with the help of Namjoon’s brain and all of our own strengths, we will be able to get out of detention,” Hoseok said.

“And get butterbeer afterwards,” Yoongi added.

“And get butterbeer afterwards.”

“Maybe we should have a group name,” Taehyung suggested. 

“Do we really need that?” Yoongi sighed.

“Let’s think about it after we get out of here,” Seokjin said. “After we have our butterbeer.”

…

Namjoon had no idea what the smell around him was, and no matter how hard he tried to pinpoint it, he ultimately decided that ignorance was indeed, bliss. The fact that he’d been stepping on puddles of something did nothing to alleviate his nerves though. 

“Hyung, be careful,” he heard Jungkook speak up ahead. “I think there are stairs in front of me– Yup, these are stairs." 

"I would kill to have a flashlight right now,” Namjoon sighed as he used his feet to feel around for the steps. With his right hand against the cold, stone wall beside him, he began climbing up.

“Ah!” Jungkook suddenly yelled.

“Wh- what is it???” Namjoon exclaimed in surprise. “Is there something there? Did you get hurt?" 

"…My hand touched something gross on the wall…” Jungkook said. 

“Oh,” Namjoon sighed in relief. “Well, keep going I guess. I think we should be pretty close." 

"Yeah…” he heard Jungkook sigh before the sound of his footsteps indicated that he continued to climb the stairs. The two of them were silent for quite a while with only the sound of their footsteps echoing through the passageway. The silence made Namjoon feel a bit awkward. Even though he wasn’t much of an extrovert, he was a pretty talkative person who hated long, uncomfortable silences when there was another person around. 

'Yes, walking alone in a dark passageway to steal stuff from Professor Snape’s storage room is the perfect time to have an engaging conversation,’ Inner Namjoon said. Namjoon mentally shooed him away and racked his brains for a good sentence to start a conversation, which, apparently was:

“What do you think the smell here is?” As soon as those words left his mouth he wanted to slam his head against the wall.

“The smell?” Jungkook repeated. Namjoon could practically hear the 'What the hell is this crazy hyung saying?’ behind his voice.

“…Yeah…” Namjoon persisted nonetheless.

“It kind of smells like an acromantula cave,” Jungkook answered. “Yeah, it does kind of smell like an acromantula cave." 

"You’ve been to an acromantula cave?” Namjoon repeated, not feeling comforted at all by the response. Instinctively, he turned to look over his shoulder, only to find more darkness behind him that may or may not be filled with acromantulas. 

“Yeah, with Taehyung and Jimin,” Jungkook answered. “Jimin didn’t like it so much though." 

"I can imagine,” Namjoon shivered as his wand automatically went to his jeans pocket to grab his wand before realizing that it was with Filch. But instead of a wand… he felt the familiar slim, rectangular weight of…

“MY PHONE!” he yelled suddenly, mentally smacking himself for not remembering sooner. 

“You have a phone?!!!” he heard Jungkook exclaim. Namjoon pulled the gadget out of his pockets and turned it on. The light from the screen of his phone softly illuminated his face and Jungkook’s right in front of him.

“Sweet, sweet technology,” Jungkook sighed. “Hey, is that an LG phone too? I have one just like it!" 

"It sure has all the best features that a phone needs. It’s even better than an Iphone!” Namjoon grinned before switching on the torchlight feature. 

“That’s much better,” he said as the two of them continued climbing the stairs, this time with a bit more speed and confidence. 

“Ah, hyung. This would have made everything so much easier before though,” Jungkook said.

“Sorry, I don’t use it so much here so sometimes I forget I even have it,” Namjoon apologized. 

“How are you able to charge it?” Jungkook asked.

“In the Room of Requirement,” Namjoon explained. “If you wish for an electrical outlet, and if your phone actually has low battery, it appears on the wall.

"Damn, I should have done that sooner,” Jungkook said. “Oh wait, I think I see the entrance up ahead! Can you shine your light up there, hyung?”

“On it,” Namjoon replied and walked up, shining his torchlight at where Jungkook was pointing. True to what he said, there was a rectangular outline of light right in front of them that could only be the exit Yoongi was talking about. The two of them practically scrambled up the stairs, Namjoon almost slipping in the process, before arriving at the upper landing. 

“On three,” Jungkook said as the two of them braced their hands against the door. “One… two… three!” The two of them pushed against the concrete wall with all their strength. Namjoon couldn’t tell if it was just him, but Jungkook seemed to be three times stronger than he was despite his size. Finally, the huge door budged open and swung to the side. The two stepped out into the familiar hallway on the second floor and found the door to Professor Snape’s storage room right beside them and the gleaming padlock on the door. Jungkook and Namjoon both looked at each other and grinned. 

“Time to get to work,” Jungkook said. 

…

“Filch! Filch!” Hoseok yelled as he ran to Filch’s office. He burst in without warning and saw the caretaker seated at his desk and checking Mrs. Norris for fleas. Before Hoseok had the chance to look even remotely disgusted, Filch quickly swept his beloved cat away and glared at the intruding student.

“What?! What do you want?!" 

"Um… uh…” Hoseok stammered, trying to remember what Namjoon instructed him to do a while ago, before finally realizing it. “Taehyung and Jimin! They’re messing around in the classroom instead of doing what you told them to do,” he said.  A look of fury washed over Filch’s face before he frowned at Hoseok in suspicion.

“Since when were you a tattletale? Isn’t that Jimin boy your friend?” he sneered, standing up and walking slowly towards Hoseok. 

'Oh shit, he’s on to me!’ Hoseok mentally panicked. 'Quick! What would Namjoon say!?’

“The… floor wax… is getting… rubbed off?” he stammered, instantly regretting the words once they came out of his mouth. 'What the hell was that?!’ he mentally yelled at himself before seeing the color practically drain from Filch’s face.

“Not the floor wax…” he whispered. “NOT THE FLOOR WAX!" 

Before Hoseok could say anything, Filch practically stormed outside of his office in the direction of the classroom everyone else was in. Hoseok smiled, gave himself a pat on the back before following behind. By the time he reached Filch, he was standing in the middle of the room holding onto both Taehyung and Jimin by each arm. Papers were scattered across the floor as well from when the two first years were "messing around." 

"Sorry Filch–” Taehyung protested.

“That’s Mr. Filch to you!” Filch interrupted.

“Sorry Mr. Filch, we won’t do this again!”

“Yeah! Taehyung started it when he said we should have a paper airplane fight!”

“Aish, I really told you two to listen to Mr. Filch,” Hoseok sighed and shook his head in mock-sympathy. Jimin caught his eye and winked as he pretended to struggle against Filch’s grip.

“Hold on now…” Filch paused and looked around the room. “Where are the rest of you?” he scowled and suspiciously shot glances at Taehyung and Jimin before landing on Hoseok. 

“The uh… the closet!” Hoseok stammered.

“Namjoon-hyung said he was bothered by us making a mess,” Taehyung piped up. “So he and the others locked themselves in the closet.”

“They’re really concentrating on 

"Well, we’ll see about that,” Filch said, shoving the two first years away before walking to the closet.

“No Mr. Filch! Namjoon-hyung really hates it when you disturb his… sorting,” Taehyung protested.

“And Yoongi-hyung barely had any sleep today so–" 

"Shut up!” Filch cut off Jimin. “I know something fishy is going on here and I’m going to get to the bottom of it!” He shoved the two first years away and began to stomp towards the closet door. 

'Please, please don’t screw up Yoongi-hyung, Seokjin-hyung,’ Hoseok prayed. Filch stopped in front of the door and began to turn the knob.