Detention

“Hey, Hoseok! Hoseok!” Seokjin yelled to catch his friend’s attention. At the moment, Hoseok was training with Jimin, his underclassmen and fellow Hufflepuff, by passing the quaffle to each other across the Quidditch field. Hoseok caught the quaffle just in time before looking up at Seokjin hovering above on his broomstick.

“What is it? Tired already?’ Hoseok grinned playfully. 

"Yeah! Maybe our old man needs a rest!” Jungkook, another first year from Slytherin, laughed as he zoomed by on his own broomstick while chasing after a snitch.

“I’m NOT tired!” Seokjin yelled back at the maknae who simply cackled and kept right on his task. Both Hoseok and Jimin laughed along with Jungkook. Seokjin often got on their nerves with all his corny dad jokes and Jungkook, the young first year with the power to get on the oldest hyung’s nerves, was practically a godsend. 

“Sorry, what were you saying hyung?” Hoseok asked once he stopped laughing. 

“Do you want to sneak out to Hogsmeade on Saturday?” Seokjin said. 

“Hey hyung, did you forget that we have detention?” Hoseok frowned. 

“Yeah, but after detention,” Seokjin shrugged. “I heard there’s a new café opening up and you know how I feel about new cafes.” 

“That sounds good,” Hoseok nodded. “We can use the secret exit Yoongi-hyung showed us.” 

“I just hope detention ends early,” Seokjin sighed.

“You got into detention, hyung?” Jimin looked up at him quizzically before doing one of his superhuman tosses that sent the quaffle flying across the field. Seokjin couldn’t help but feel a bit scared about how nonchalantly Jimin did that. 

“Aish, really?” Hoseok sighed and ran after the quaffle before catching it with relative ease. Seokjin couldn’t help but feel scared of Hoseok too for being able to catch that kind of toss. ‘Man, these guys are monsters,’ he thought to himself.

“I got into detention because of these devilishly good looks,” Seokjin winked at Jimin who burst out laughing.

“Don’t listen to him,” Hoseok shook his head and tossed the quaffle back at Jimin. “We both got into detention for sneaking to the kitchen in the middle of the night.”

“Ah, that sounds like something you two would do,” Jimin said.

"If you’re in detention you’re going to be gone for the whole day,” Jungkook butted in, hovering on his broomstick next to Seokjin with the golden snitch he was previously chasing already clasped in his hand. “Especially if you’re with Filch.”

“Seriously?” Seokjin and Hoseok groaned at the same time. 

“We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t bring up that idea,” Hoseok chided his friend.

“Hey, you got hungry too!”

“Yeah,” Jimin nodded in agreement with Jungkook. “Last time we were in detention, Filch made us sweep, mop, and polish the entire Great Hall.”

“Can’t we just pretend to be sick?” Seokjin asked. 

“Nah, Filch is just going to make you go to Madame Pomfrey to confirm if you really are sick,” Jungkook shook his head. “Taehyung did that and Filch made him wash the windows too.”

“Speaking of which…” Jimin said as Taehyung, a first year Ravenclaw and Jimin and Jungkook’s close friend, came bounding into the Quidditch field.

“Guys! We got to go to Hagrid’s! Right now!” he said excitedly, despite the fact that he looked as if he just escaped a burning building.

“Why are your clothes burnt?” Hoseok frowned.

“And you smell like sulfur,” Seokjin added. 

“Blast-ended skrewts,” the three first years chorused, with Taehyung sounding noticeably more excited than the rest. Seokjin and Hoseok glanced at each other once and decided not to ask any questions.

“One of them started molting!” Taehyung continued with a big grin on his face. “Come on! You guys gotta see!" 

"Alright,” Jungkook shrugged and landed on the grass before dismounting his broom. He and Jimin were pretty much used to following Taehyung’s creature research expeditions with Hagrid, one of their favorite professors. Both Jungkook and Jimin agreed that they weren’t the safest activities but they were pretty awesome to do. Either that or they just couldn’t say no to Taehyung. 

“I hope Hagrid’s got some protective clothing of some sort,” Jimin said worriedly before setting down the quaffle he was holding on the grass.

“No problem. Hagrid’s got oven mitts,” Taehyung said. 

“Nothing to worry about,” Jungkook said sarcastically. Seokjin and Hoseok exchanged worried glances.

“I can protect you Jungkookie,” Jimin teased.

“I think Hagrid has aprons too,” Taehyung added. “But they might be too big on us.”

“It will be especially huge on Jimin,” Jungkook snickered. Both he and Taehyung laughed while Jimin kicked them.

“Hey, be careful with those blast-ended squorms,”  Hoseok said.

“Skrewts,” Taehyung corrected him.

“Yeah, whatever that is.”

“We will,” Jungkook and Taehyung nodded before heading off.

“And make sure you get back to the castle in time for dinner!” Seokjin yelled after them.

“You know that might not be possible,” Jimin sighed. “Well, see you two later. I hope detention isn’t so bad,” he added before finally leaving. 

"I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Hoseok shrugged as Seokjin landed on the grass and dismounted his broom.

“I still can’t believe we’ll spend a whole day in detention tomorrow,” Seokjin grumbled as the two of them walked back to the castle. “I better cancel plans with Yoongi.”

“Oh, hyung is in detention too,” Hoseok laughed.

“Him too?!” Seokjin exclaimed. “What for?”

“Guess,” Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

It didn’t take long for Seokjin to pinpoint the answer. “He was caught skipping class and playing piano in the Room of Requirement, right?”

“Give the handsome guy a prize.”

"Aish, that boy,” Seokjin shook his head. “I guess that makes three of us in detention.”

“Do you think we can get Namjoon in detention too?” Hoseok wondered.

“You know just as well as I do that he’s miles away from detention,” Seokjin chuckled.

…

‘You know, this could get you in detention,’ Namjoon’s inner self chided him. 'Going to the library’s Forbidden Section AND sneaking out in the hallways at night? That’s a double whammy for sure.' 

“But it’s all worth it if you don’t get caught…” Namjoon whispered to himself as he walked down the aisles of bookshelves in the Forbidden Section with the tip of his wand just barely illuminated in order to see the book titles. During Divination class earlier, Namjoon overheard a pair of Gryffindors talking about a so-called “Marauders’ Map” used by some Gryffindors in the past, including the legendary Harry Potter. Apparently the map showed the entire Hogwarts and Hogsmeade location, as well as the people and where they are. The map was supposed to be enchanted as well to make it look like blank parchment until the right words are said out loud. It was pretty much the Google Maps version of Hogwarts, but magic. This was enough to pique Namjoon’s interest but he was disappointed to here that it was lost.

'So why not make a new one?’ he figured. It may seem crazy. Making a map like that surely required some advanced magic, which is why Namjoon turned to the library. But since none of the books there had anything on that kind of magic, he suspected that there was a book about it in the Forbidden Section. After all, anyone who would make a “Marauders Map” would probably have taken stuff from the Forbidden Section as well.

“Advanced Charms: Enchanting Objects…” Namjoon read the book spine title quietly out loud. That sounded like something he needed. Just as he was about to scan the shelf for other similar books, the sound of approaching footsteps interrupted his actions.

'Shit! You’re done for now!’ Inner Namjoon yelled. Namjoon quickly pulled the book he found off the shelf and turned out the light from his wand.

“Who’s there?!” Filch rasped. Namjoon stayed still and hoped to god Filch didn’t have supersonic hearing. But then with him, anything was possible. After a while, Namjoon heard some muttering and the sound of footsteps leaving the library. He sighed in relief, tucked the book he snitched under his sweater, and began to tiptoe back out of the library. But then just as he was about to leave the room scot-free, his foot somehow caught on the edge of a table, making him stumble forward and land face-first on the floor.

“Ah-HA!!” he heard Filch yell just a few short seconds after. Namjoon pushed himself up, wondering if Filch had supersonic speed as well, to find Filch grinning with glee in front of him, shining a lamp in his face. “You’re going to be in real trouble for being caught here.” Namjoon groaned and stood up. 

“Fine, fine. I’m going back to bed,” he said, walking away until Filch grabbed a hold of shirt collar and pulled him back

“Not so fast,” he sneered, wagging a finger in front of the student’s face. “Being caught at night and in the Forbidden Section means detention for you." 

'Double whammy, told you so…’ Inner Namjoon muttered. Namjoon winced. So he is going to end up in detention after all. He’s never been in detention except for those times when Seokjin, Hoseok, and Yoongi somehow dragged him into it. Also Taehyung at some point. 

"Tomorrow, bright and early,” Filch said, poking a finger at Namjoon’s chest with every word he said. “If you arrive late and skip out, that’s double detention for you.”

“Bright and early…” Namjoon repeated and nodded his head, already tired all of a sudden. Detention on a Saturday of all days. 

…

“Geez hyung, hurry up! Filch is going to kill us if we’re late,” Hoseok urged Seokjin who was still finishing his breakfast. Seokjin looked up at him with a look that said 'I’m not leaving until I finish my breakfast’ which Hoseok returned with his own 'Yeah, but whether or not you had breakfast won’t matter if Filch kills us in the end’ look. Seokjin sighed, grabbed the piece of toast he was finishing, and got up from the breakfast table. 

“Do you think Filch will let us have a lunch break?” Seokjin asked as the two of them walked out of the Great Hall and down a flight of stairs.

“Is that really all you can think of right now?” Hoseok sighed. “You just had breakfast.” 

“Don’t lie. You’re thinking about that too." 

"The more you think about it, the hungrier you get,” Hoseok argued, silently agreeing with his friend when he felt his own stomach beginning to rumble. The room Filch instructed them to go to was just near the Slytherin common rooms. When Hoseok and Seokjin entered, they were greeted with stacks and stacks of parchment scrolls and letters. The two looked at each other and groaned simultaneously.

“I guess no lunch break then,” Seokjin sighed and sat down on one of the few chairs among the piles. 

“Shouldn’t that be the least of your worries?” Hoseok suddenly jumped when he saw Namjoon emerge behind him at the doorway.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Seokjiin asked before grinning mischievously. “You got into trouble too, didn’t you?”

“Filch caught me last night at the Forbidden Section of the library,” Namjoon sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

“Aww… now we’re one big happy family,” Hoseok gushed. “When Yoongi arrives that is.”

“Isn’t the Slytherin common room nearby?” Namjoon frowned and sat down on a chair next to Seokjin.

“Yeah, but you know how much he sleeps on a Saturday,” Seokjin shrugged.

“Yoongi-hyung was probably playing piano all night,” Hoseok reasoned.

“Or he’s just sleeping a lot like usual,” Seokjin shrugged.

“Well, speak of the devil,” Namjoon grinned once their missing friend walked in, still rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“More like dementor,” Yoongi mumbled and slumped down on one of the chairs inside. His hair was a mess and his clothes practically looked like they were thrown on. Hoseok chuckled and sat down next to him. 

“Sleep well, hyung?” he joked.

“Not enough to have the energy to last through this detention,” Yoongi sighed and looked around him. “Looks like we’re going to have fun.”

“At least we’re together, it could be worse,” Seokjin shrugged just as they heard voices outside the room.

“Come on Filch–”

“It’s Mr. Filch to you!”

“Mr. Filch. Sorry, maybe we could have detention some other time this week?”

“Yeah! Like at 25 pm on April 42!”

“Shut it and get in you three!”

“I know that voice,” Namjoon frowned.

“It’s Jungkook,” Yoongi said, frowning just as not only Jungkook, but Jimin and Taehyung as well burst into the room.

“You guys too?!” Hoseok said in surprise. “What did you do?” he laughed. 

“Ask Taehyung,” Jungkook and Jimin chorused as they sat down.

“I THOUGHT I saw a bowtruckle,” Taehyung pouted. “I was going to give it to Hagrid." 

"He would have appreciated it,” Jimin comforted him.

“You came back late from the Forbidden Forest again, didn’t you?’” Yoongi raised an eyebrow at Jungkook.

“We always come back late. We just got caught this time,” Jungkook whispered while Yoongi smirked and shook his head.

“Alright, listen up! All of you!” Filch rasped, the seven students looked up at him. “See all these scrolls and papers here?”

“Kind of hard to miss,” Yoongi mumbled, causing his friends to snicker. Filch glared at them before continuing. 

“I want everything to be sorted out based on the date it was sent into those boxes,” he said, pointing to the stack of empty boxes in the back. “By date, you understand? And I want it all done by the end of the day." 

"That doesn’t seem so bad,” Namjoon shrugged, seeing that there were seven of them.

“Good,” Filch sneered. “There’s more in here in case any of you get bored,” he said, opening a door behind him and revealing a room stacked to the ceiling with even more scrolls and papers. Everyone in the room besides Filch groaned.

“You just had to jinx it,” Seokjin said. 

“Question!” Jimin raised his hand. “What if we need to go to the bathroom?”

“Down the hall,” Filch pointed. “But if you think of sneaking off, all of you are in detention again next week.” He sneered before adding “The upstairs bathrooms need plumbing.” Jimin gulped and put his hand down. “And I don’t want to hear any yelling coming from this room.”

“What if the room catches fire?” Jungkook spoke up. “I mean with all the paper here, that’s bound to happen." 

"Yeah, shouldn’t we be able to yell if that happens?” Yoongi added, immediately catching on to his underclassman’s plan.

“Well I–” Filch began before being cut off by Hoseok.

“What if a hippogriff crashes through the window?" 

"Yeah, I heard Hagrid unleashes Buckbeak on Saturdays,” Taehyung added, grinning at his hyung.

“What if the merpeople decide to attack the castle?" 

"Yeah, and what if they somehow got the giant squid to walk on land too?”

“What if a rouge Bludger comes in?" 

"Or aliens!” 

"SHUT UP!” Filch yelled and the seven of them quickly shut their mouths, quite pleased at achieving the desired effect. “None of that is going to happen. Now all of you shut up and get to work. I want everything in their boxes by evening.” he growled.

“Easy,” Namjoon shrugged and pulled out his wand only for it to be snatched away by Filch.

“No magic!” he sneered. “All of you, hand over your wands now!” The rest of them grumbled and handed them over to Filch. “Now that that’s taken care of,” the man grinned, “You seven better get to work.” And with that, he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Well, you all heard the man,” Namjoon sighed, pushing up his glasses before looking through a stack of papers.

“If we’re lucky, we’ll finish sorting through all of this before the school year ends,” Jimin added and set to work along with the rest of them.

“Look, there’s someone whose last name is ‘Bratwurst’,” Jungkook snickered, holding up a sheet of parchment.

“Let me see!” Seokjin and Jimin said as they crowded around Jungkook.

“What an unfortunate family,” Jimin shook his head in mock sympathy. 

“I can’t stay here,” Taehyung groaned. “Guys we need to find a way to bust out.”

“You heard Filch. If we do that we’ll have detention against next week,” Namjoon said, not looking up from the stack of papers he was sorting.

“You heard about the toilets too,” Jimin added.

“Well, maybe we can fit Jungkook through that small window there,” Taehyung answered, pointing at a window on the upper right wall that seemed just big enough for one person to crawl through.

“Oh! Then he can somehow get to Filch’s office and get our wands back,” Hoseok said. “You’re a genius Taehyung!!!” he grinned and high-fived his underclassman.

“On it!” Jungkook nodded as he began rolling up his sleeves. 

“That window leads to a network of tunnels in the dungeons area,” Yoongi interrupted him. “If you go in you probably won’t be able to find your way out.” He was standing in front of one of the bookcases at the far end of the room, pulling the books out one by one.

“What are you doing then?” Seokjin asked.

“I’m not wasting my Saturday here, that’s what I’m doing,” Yoongi answered. “We’re busting out.”

“Wait hyung, you mean there’s–” Hoseok sat up excitedly.

“There should be a secret entrance around… here!” Yoongi pulled a book out and suddenly, the bookshelf slid to the side, revealing a passageway through the wall.

“Whoa!!!” everyone exclaimed.

“Genius Slytherin Min Yoongi strikes again!!” Hoseok cheered while Yoongi smirked and admired the praise.

“I knew Yoongi-hyung was going to find a way out for us,” Jimin said proudly.

“We’ll still need to get our wands back from Filch though so we can pack everything here,” Seokjin said.

“That’s not going to be easy,” Taehyung pouted.

“Don’t worry,” Namjoon smirked and adjusted his glasses. “I’ve got a plan.”

“Namjoon-hyung is going into Smart Anime Character Mode!!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“I speak five languages and that is none of them,” Seokjin said. Jungkook grinned.

“All you need to understand is that we’ve simply got one hell of a Namjoon.”