David's Advice
David left it for a couple of weeks before approaching Remus, the students were preparing for their end of year exams and Harry was relying a little more on Remus’s help with the pressure he was under in the Quidditch final. Angie didn’t seem too concerned about the prophecy, but more likely she just wasn’t keen on hearing about Remus anymore. She was doing everything to put off thinking about Remus and David began to worry about her.
When he thought back to how he got over Cassie, he knew he’d struggled, but Angie was behaving as if she’d lost a limb, like she’d lost something that was physically a part of her. He understood that people react in different ways, but she should have been improving by now.
‘I actually agree.’ Jocelyne said, sliding a cup of tea across the table to him. Jackson and Harper were playing with their grandmother in the living room and David couldn’t help but smile. He’d been made godfather soon after Jack died and he took on the responsibility with a new pride. He loved them and he knew he’d do anything for them, just like Angie. ‘She’s not sent us an owl in months, the only time we hear from her is if we send one first.’
‘Remus isn’t much better,’ David sipped his tea. ‘He’s miserable and exhausted. I’m a little worried about it because he actually looks like a werewolf these days, I know that sounds stupid, but if word gets out that a werewolf has been teaching at Hogwarts, there will be public outrage and I have no idea what Remus will do without anyone to turn to for help.’
Jocelyne sat down and took a breath, thinking on what they could do to help. ‘We know Sirius is innocent, Angie felt that, so how do we prove it? It’s the only way they’ll see reason and get back together, Angie will be right, Remus will see that, his pride might be a bit bruised, but they’ll fall in love again, right?’
‘I suppose so.’ David sighed. ‘Problem is, it’s not like they’ve fallen out of love. The way they constantly ask how the other one is doing… it’s like they don’t really care about the answer, they just want to hear about each other and know that the other one isn’t suffering. Angie even told me not to ask Remus for the prophecy until after the full moon, said he wouldn’t be in the right headspace to talk about her.’
Jocelyne just took another breath and shook her head. ‘We need to do something soon, they can’t go on like this and considering what Angie saw of the brother’s memories, I’m not sure she can afford to be distracted by anything.’
David agreed and they spent some time trying to understand what happened that night at Godric’s Hollow, trying to fit the pieces together and work out an alternative version of events, but none of the theories they had would explain everything. They were missing something, a vital piece of information that Sirius had, maybe something that Remus or the Potter’s had neglected to mention and through their hatred for Sirius, thought it trivial and unimportant.
Eventually they gave up, running themselves in circles and deciding that they’d take some time to think and come back with fresh perspectives. Jocelyne said she would ask Benji for any information he might have had and soon David left to head back to the castle. It was a good time to go and finally see Remus.
‘Professor Lupin.’ David entered into the classroom, seeing that he was dealing with a seventh year Hufflepuff girl, who he’d overheard gushing over himself and Remus. It was a strange thing, but he finally understood Remus’s discomfort at falling in love with Angie when she was still in school, the line between appropriate and not was clear standing.
‘Professor Wales, I’ll be with you in a moment.’ Remus often looked a little more cheery when speaking with his students and David was sure teaching was the only pleasure he got out of life anymore. He quickly finished up with the student and sent her on her way while he tidied a few things on his desk. ‘David, what can I do for you?’ It was a hard thing for him to ask these days and David knew that he was in no real shape to offer anyone anything anymore.
‘Just wanted to ask a quick question,’ David tried to seem casual, but he was aware of how this may have gone. ‘Was visiting Angie a couple of weeks ago,’ that caught Remus’s attention, he stopped his tidying and looked at David, hopefully. ‘She’s doing a bit better in case you were wondering? Doing some weird research with those Puffapods.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ Remus smiled tightly, he clearly wanted to ask more about Angie, but wouldn’t say it out loud.
‘So, here’s the thing, she says that her dad gave you something to look after while she was away.’ David could see Remus’s heart sinking. ‘She needs it back.’
Remus nodded in understanding. ‘And Angelina sent you to collect it for her?’
‘Yes.’
‘Instead of coming herself?’
‘Remus-‘
‘No, that’s fine. That’s… understandable.’
David could see the tears building behind his eyes once again. ‘You should know that still cares about you Remus.’
‘I’m not sure that’s true. She made her feelings perfectly clear the last time she was here.’
‘What? She told you she wasn’t in love with you anymore?’
‘No, she-‘
‘She said she hated you?’
‘No-‘
‘Well then she must have told you to stay away from her from now on?’
‘Not exact-‘
‘Because you seem to think that she has stopped loving you and Remus, you know deep down that’s not true.’ David watched Remus think for a moment. ‘You know she told me to wait? She told me two weeks ago that I should wait a little until after the full moon to ask you for the prophecy, said that you wouldn’t be in the right headspace to talk about her… Remus, she put your well-being before her family’s future. That prophecy contains information that would put an end to the brothers, the one thing she has been searching for, for years and she decided that you feeling marginally better about things, was worth more than that.’
Remus didn’t say anything, but David could see something painful building under the surface, something that was about to explode out of him. Remus fell into his chair and sobbed into his hands, his entire body sobbed, he couldn’t control the shaking or the relief he felt when David wandered around to place his hand on his shoulder.
Eventually he needed something a little more substantial and David complied, wrapping his bulky arms around his old friend and giving him all the support he needed.
‘What have I done?’ Remus asked quietly.
‘Nothing that can’t be fixed.’ David sighed and pulled away to give Remus a little space to breathe. ‘I think you should invite Angie to the castle, give her the prophecy yourself and do what you can to fix everything, because if you throw this away over Sirius Black, then you never deserved her in the first place.’
David watched Remus’s blue eyes focus on a point just past him and nod. ‘Okay.’ His voice croaked.
‘Okay,’ David smiled. ‘Just make sure you know what you’re going to tell her, the worst thing you can do is get a chance to make peace and ruin everything by saying the wrong thing, or worse, saying nothing, trust me on that.’ David half laughed, but he hoped Remus could see his own experience of failing to prove his worth to Cassie when he had the chance. ‘Good luck.’ He said and left Remus to think on his next move.
Truthfully, Remus had no idea how to make amends, the last time he’d seen Angelina she’d made it clear that she couldn’t be around him anymore, that he’d hurt her in ways even he couldn’t comprehend.
He’d recently come back into possession of the Marauder’s Map, since confiscating it from Harry and giving him a stern warning, he decided to try and use it in case Black made another attempt on Harry’s life. Remus thought for a moment in the confines of his office about Angelina’s obsession wit his innocence and just for a second he doubted his own version of events. Maybe David was right, maybe he was wrong and his choice to end things with Angelina was rash.
Remus couldn’t help himself, he missed her so much, he’d gone nearly two whole years without being able to hold her, kiss her, just talk with her and since her return, all he’d really done was watch her sleep and doubt every word that fell from her mouth. He’d never really doubted her before, never with such viciousness and never without good reason, but his reasoning seemed flawed the more time that passed.
He looked down at his desk at the picture of the himself and Angelina, it was from Jocelyne and Benji’s wedding five years previous. She was so beautiful in her dark red dress, her smooth, slender legs slotting into her black heels which only served to further extenuate her features. Remus missed her body, he missed her eyes, those big ocean blue eyes, he loved the moments when he kissed her and they grew dark and told him how much she loved him. He knew he needed to make things right, so he decided to write her a letter in the hopes that she would come to the castle and see him.
Angelina,
I think you’re right, we can’t do this anymore and I want to make amends. Please come to the castle so we can talk about us and find some kind of common ground to work with.
I don’t want to hurt you anymore, I don’t want us to never be able to be in the same room as each other and I don’t want to throw anything away that can be salvaged, not for the sake of a disagreement about a man I’ve not spoken about for ten years.
I made a promise to you, six years ago, I promised that I would always choose you and I have failed. Let me try and fix this. Please.
Yours always
Remus
P.S. David said you wanted to collect a few of your things, I’d be happy to give them back in person.
I was furious. I was so incredibly angry that he thought writing to me after ten months apart would make everything okay again. I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting opposite him, having a conversation about how much pain we were both in, I just couldn’t bring myself to want to see him.
‘Sweetheart, you have to see that he’s trying to make things right with you.’ My mother said, she asked me to help make dinner after I’d shouted at the top of my lungs about how angry Remus now made me. She thought it might distract me for a while, but honestly it just made me tired and want to vent to someone who might be able to give me some solid advice. ‘If he’s still making you this angry after all this time, don’t you think it’s worth trying to either put everything to bed, or find a way to work together?’
‘I don’t know if I can even look at him anymore mum,’ I slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, why did this make me so tired? It was hurting more than just my heart, it hurt deeper than that. ‘He just makes me so angry, all the time. I just can’t trust that he won’t break his promise again.’
‘Then that’s what you need to tell him.’ My mother said, plainly and with a sympathetic smile. ‘Take some time to think about what you want him to know, make sure you get everything off your chest and see what happens. If you still feel like you can’t trust him, then you can always walk away. But sweetheart, don’t throw away the best thing you’ve ever experienced for the sake of anger. He’s clearly got some strong feelings that he needs to vent as well, maybe something you haven’t considered?’
‘Like what?’
‘Well, that’s what you need to find out, isn’t it?’ My mother had the best smile, it was so kind and caring and it never seemed to lack any love for me, no matter what. ‘You’ll figure it out Angie, you always do. Relationships are built by two people, so just make sure you’re giving as much as you’re taking.’
I thought on what my mother said for the next few weeks, trying to figure out what I really wanted to say to Remus and wondering what he might have said in response. The mental role play alone was infuriating, everything he said in my head made me want to scream and cry and never leave my bed every again. In fact, David and Jocelyne had made a couple of visits to see how I was getting on, but mostly I just sat around in my lab and pretended that having not changed out of my pyjamas for three days was a clear sign that I was doing fine.
Eventually I decided to go and see Remus at the beginning of June, the full moon was close, so I knew he’d be tired, potentially to the point that he wouldn’t be able to respond with any kind of hate or negativity that would only further anger me. I knew it was childish, my parents had said so a thousand times, but I just wanted to feel like I had some control over the situation and wrote to Remus a few minutes before I left for the castle.
Remus,
I think it would be good for us to talk, though I’m a bit busy with my research so I’ll only have a couple of hours.
I’ll be with you in a few minutes, please make sure my things are ready for me to pick up.
Angie