Lockwood Part 4

Darren was exhausted when he woke up, he felt like he’d had no rest at all. He’d done as Angie asked, he followed her instructions and tried to train the way she taught him, he tried with everything he had, but it had been difficult to figure out on his own. The meditation alone seemed pointless, but if was working for her then it could work for him.

Clara had been worried about him and the fact that he’d woken up exhausted more days than not. The Quidditch season was about to come to an end with the Falcons at the top of the league, maybe he could get some rest soon.

They had picked out a house on the south coast of England, Darren enjoyed the smell of the sea and Clara could breathe. It had everything they had been looking for, three bedrooms, a spacious living room and kitchen, a garden that surrounded them and plenty of room for Darren’s brooms. He had taken to letting Alfred and Alice grow supplies for the shop in the garden, knowing that Angie wasn’t likely to come back soon enough to keep up with the demand.

The shop had been doing well in Angie’s absence and Alice had taken to making sure her finances were dealt with, even taking her cut to her Gringotts vault so that she wouldn’t go without. Darren appreciated everything she was doing for the shop and had hired a couple more people to help with the day to day activities, all of them sympathetic and kind towards the werewolf community, it had almost become a requirement of the job.

The only thing that wasn’t as it should have been was Angie. She had written to him every chance she got, but without her actually being there, everyone was a little on edge.

Darren’s mother had been getting ill every so often, mostly through exhaustion, there had been relatively small incidents happening all over the country and she had been pulled in every direction to deal with them. Darren was just glad that his father was the man that he was and could look after his mother properly. She just needed a few days to really rest and gather her strength again and she would be fine.

‘Don’t worry, she’s got a few days off coming up,’ his father said as they walked around Darren’s new house. ‘I’ll make sure she gets the rest she needs.’ They wandered into the spacious kitchen, it was very modern, all dark surfaces and white cupboards, there was an island in the middle of the kitchen with a stove and a few built-in appliances. ‘So, this is it then? Your new home?’

‘Once we’ve got a few personal pieces in.’ Darren nodded looking around at the place he would call his own. ‘We’re going to do a little shopping later in the week, but the Quidditch awards in a couple of days and Clara has a few work commitments she can’t get out of coming up, but we’ll manage it.’

His father nodded and smiled. ‘Well, you’re both welcome to stay with us as long as you need to get settled in. As long as you make sure to make regular visits when you are, I’ll get an earful from your mother if you don’t.’

‘I will.’ Darren laughed as they began to move upstairs to look at the bedrooms.

‘Sea view. Very impressive.’ His father smiled widely at the large window. ‘Your mother never could stand the sea, says it reminds her of Azkaban… I don’t think I blame her. It’s a wonder that her children take so well to the water.’

‘Well, I’m hardly going to go swimming in it, but I don’t mind looking at it and I suppose that’s the point.’

His father looked at him for a moment and smiled to himself. ‘You know Darren, I’m very proud of you. I don’t think I ever said it enough when you were young, but I am. You’ve come so far in such a short space of time, playing Quidditch in Japan, the World Cup, Regional championships, league titles… I won’t lie in saying that I don’t understand the gravity of what it means to you, but I understand what it is to love something so much that you can’t help but put everything you have into it.’ His father took a step closer and Darren could feel himself missing his father before he’d even left. ‘I could not have asked for a better son and Angie could not have asked for a better brother. I’m just sorry that I haven’t made that clear to you in the past.’

Darren smiled, feeling his throat go dry. His father had told him when he was young how proud he was of him, he always made it to a Quidditch game unless there was some disaster at St Mungo’s and he never made Darren feel unloved.

‘To be fair, Angie did almost cure Lycanthropy, so I could understand if she’s your favourite.’ Darren joked, making his father let out a bark-like laugh.

‘Angie’s smart, extraordinary. Both of my children are extraordinary.’ It was suddenly like he was trying to get Darren to understand something important, his voice taking on a much more serious tone. ‘You both have qualities that make you better than anyone I have ever met and you have wisdom enough to know how to use those skills.’ There was a tense moment in his blue-grey eyes. ‘I don’t know what the future holds for you and Angie, but I have more faith than I have ever had that our suffering will come to an end because of your efforts. Listen to what your heart says, I’ve always found it to be a better guide than any words.’

Darren and his father continued looking around the house, speaking about what Darren was planning to do with his new home, but he never let what his father said drift too far to the back of his mind. Angie had told him about working more on instinct and trying to work out if something felt right or not. He knew that he needed to work harder on defeating the brother, at least until Angie came home.

Remus was a little anxious about visiting the Lockwoods again, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see them, but given Darren’s reaction to him, it was understandable that he would have reservations.

‘Remus!’ Anna smiled widely, it seemed she had gotten good rest over the couple days she had off and Remus was at least glad for that. She held the door open for him to enter into their home and he was surprised to find that they had redecorated a little. Where it used to be darker in the kitchen area, it had become lighter, having cleared out some of Darren’s things and everything of Angelina’s had apparently been moved elsewhere, it looked to be fresher and slightly less cluttered.

‘Well, this all looks very nice.’ Remus said, looking around at the new changes. The dining table had also been moved closer to the living room and Remus could see that things had been moved around in there as well.

‘Yes, while I’ve had a few days off, George and I have decided to get a few things in order.’ Anna was clearly feeling very good about herself which was a nice change from the last time Remus had seen her. ‘Darren’s moving in with Clara so we’ve had a bit more room to work with.’

‘I wasn’t aware that they’d settled on a place.’ Remus frowned, wondering why Clara hadn’t mentioned it in any of her letters.

‘Yes, a three bedroom, just on the coast.’ Anna’s bright blue eyes smiled as well, she was clearly very proud.

‘Clara always complained she didn’t have any room to breathe in her flat.’ Remus nodded, making a mental note to congratulate her. ‘Is George around?’

‘He’ll be in Angie’s lab, we’ve been taking care of a few of her plants while she’s been away, though she could have left some instructions for some of the things she’s got growing up there.’ Anna went over to the stove where the kettle had begun boiling. ‘Anyway, what’s been going on at Hogwarts? Harry settling in alright?’

Remus took a seat at the kitchen table and began giving Anna the updates on everything, there wasn’t much of note, but he did mention that he had news about Angelina for when George joined them. When he did, Remus couldn’t help but notice how worn down the Healer looked. His hair was greying more so than when Remus last saw him, his body looked as if it was failing him and his eyes seemed to be permanently bloodshot. He was exhausted in every sense of the word.

‘Remus, how are you?’ He said, shaking hands and going immediately to usher Anna out of the kitchen.

‘Well, George. Yourself?’

‘Same as ever, busy and without time.’

Remus wasn’t stupid, he could recognise fake energy when he saw it, the desire to hide just how tired you were by being overly energetic and even wearing yourself out to the point of physical struggle; all of it to hide how much you were really suffering.

‘Remus has news for us.’ Anna commented and sipped her tea, eagerly waiting for Remus to speak. George quickly poured his water and brought his mug over to the table as well, finally being able to rest his legs.

‘It’s not huge news, but it is something at least,’ Remus began, not wasting any time. ‘Angelina sent a message via Patronus to me during the week. It came from Tibet and the message was uncorrupted, it made it within seconds of her sending it. She says she is safe and that she is learning more and more about how to defeat the brothers and allow her and Darren to live normal lives.’

Anna couldn’t hold her tears in, she was laughing and crying all at the same time. George placed his hand over hers.

‘I thought it would be better to tell you in person.’ Remus nodded and smiled with them.

‘We were beginning to lose hope.’ Anna admitted and it seemed that George was about to tell her to stop talking until he remembered who was sitting in front of him. ‘Her letters were just the same old thing, over and over, we thought maybe she had reached a dead end.’

‘I’m ashamed to say that I was following a similar line of thinking.’ Remus agreed.

‘If there’s one person we should never lose faith in, it’s our Angie.’ George’s voice was cracking and it seemed his exhaustion was seeping through. ‘I knew she would do it eventually.’

It took Remus by surprise that the normally very solid and unbreakable man that was Angelina’s father, suddenly began crying. It was heavy and filled with so much guilt and pain, he still felt so responsible for his children suffering.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said and desperately tried to compose himself. Anna went to comfort him, but before she could, he stood up and wandered outside to breathe.

‘He’s exhausted.’ Remus stated. ‘I know that exhaustion, he’ll get worse until Angelina comes home.’

‘I know.’ Anna smiled gently and nodded. ‘I’ve seen it before. It’ll only take one thing slotting into place for him to stop worrying, Angie is the first daughter the Lockwoods have had in a long time. Family of boys for years now, we know that it means something, but it’s the unknown that’s getting to him.’

‘The first daughter?’

‘Lockwoods have only had sons, we’re not entirely sure when the last daughter was, possibly there has never been on before Angie.’ Anna thought on it for a moment. ‘George won’t say it out load, but we both believe that a daughter means the end of suffering, but the end could mean anything.’ It was another moment before she spoke, one in which Remus could see she wanted to say something important. ‘I have no right to ask this and it will never be my place to ask this of anyone, least of all someone who means so much to Angie… but you have no idea of what the brothers are capable of, no matter how timid or trustworthy they try to make themselves, they are savage and vicious by nature… we have to help Angie and Darren in anyway we can even if that means-‘

‘I would happily give my life for hers.’ Remus interrupted. He could see where this was going a mile off. Anna was right in that she had no right to ask, but the truth was that she didn’t need to. If the day came, and Remus suspected it was coming sooner than anyone was ready for, then he would give his life to ensure the Angelina survived. ‘Anna I have already made my intentions clear about Angelina, I wouldn’t give any less for her than you would give for George, I can promise you that.’

Tears began streaming down Anna’s face, she felt equally as guilty as she did relieved. Everyone could feel something coming, they had felt it for a long time now and it was getting closer, making everyone sit on edge. How had they gone so long without Angelina?

Anna soon went out to George and Remus watched as he finally collapsed into his wife, she ushered him up to bed for an early night and they both decided it was time to take some time off to rest. Remus suggested that they go to France after hearing good things about it from David.

It was time for him to leave and head to the Potters for dinner. The Lockwoods needed to rest and Remus needed to check in on his old friends.

The night had been fairly pleasant, Lily was in good spirits and it seemed in the mood for a good time with James and Remus. They began reminiscing about their first year at Hogwarts and how exciting it had all been, Remus remembered nights where they snuck out even then to cause trouble and set up pranks for the next day.

The music was on and James began clearing up, he had early training the next day and hadn’t drank nearly as much as Remus or Lily, Lily being more affected by the alcohol than him. Remus was slouched on the sofa with her legs draped over his as James went about cleaning up around them both.

‘Right, as soon as I’m done, I’m going to bed,’ James kissed her. ‘Can I trust you to take care of yourself?’

‘I’ll make sure she makes it to bed.’ Remus assured him, but it only made Lily giggle. Remus covered his blushing face realising what he had said and couldn’t help but join in the laughing fit.

‘Merlin help me when I decided that you would be good for me.’ James smiled and kissed his wife again. ‘Behave, both of you.’ James stood up, chuckling to himself and left Remus and Lily to the rest of their evening.

They sat for a moment or two, just listening to the music and finishing their drinks.

‘Please tell me you’re thinking of a prank to play on him as well’ Lily nudged Remus, who laughed and shrugged. ‘Or are you instead thinking of a distant land where a beautiful woman awaits you.’ Lily sat up, bringing her legs underneath her and watched her friend go red.

‘I miss her.’ Remus found himself admitting. ‘I don’t feel right without her.’ Remus leaned his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes. He felt Lily’s hand gently stroking his head, but it wasn’t the same as Angelina’s touch, not even close.

‘I know, I can see it.’ Lily said quietly. ‘But you said she would come home, safe and sound. If she loves you, then that will be the most important thing to her.’

Remus sighed and thought on how right it would feel to have Angelina and Lily in the same room, laughing and joking together, possibly making fun of him together. He wouldn’t mind, in fact, if it made her smile, Angelina could make fun of him all day.

‘Dance with me?’ Lily suddenly said, Remus opened his eyes to look into her green eyes and frowned. ‘We used to dance, remember?’ He could scarcely forget. ‘I always enjoyed having you as a dance partner, that was until you taught James how to do it properly.’

‘You’re welcome by the way,’ Remus snorted. ‘You have no idea how uncoordinated he was. Him! He played Quidditch for goodness sake, how could not know how to control his arms and legs?’

They began giggling for a little while, remembering how strange it was that James would need to be taught anything like that, surely Sirius would’ve helped him out. The thought of Sirius made Remus feel suddenly sick and Lily definitely noticed. She didn’t hesitate, she stood up, pulling his tired body with her and placed his hand on her hip while she took the other one to hold. They found their way to a more open space beyond the coffee table and Remus didn’t bother resisting, he just chuckled and allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

Lily didn’t feel like Angelina, she felt a little fuller and much more confident in her actions, where Angelina was slightly awkward and leaner than one would have expected. Lily rested her cheek against his chest and Remus allowed his chin to sit just above her head while they swayed to the music for a while.

Remus couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this, loved and safe and happy. He was safe within Hogwarts and he was happy when he was with his friends but something about those things always felt lacking.

‘I’m going to marry her.’ Remus said quietly into Lily’s thick red hair. ‘My mother gave me her ring in the hopes that I would find someone who would take it, I want to marry Angelina… do you think she’ll say yes?’

Lily looked up at him, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. ‘You’re an idiot Remus Lupin.’ She whispered. ‘Such a fool.’ Remus’s heart began to sink as their hands slipped away from each other. ‘Why would think for a second of your life that you could ask such a thing?’

‘I-I just… well I-‘ Remus rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what excuse he could make and with the alcohol blurring his mind slightly he wasn’t sure what to do. ‘I’m in love with her… I want her, so I thought…’

‘And she is in love with you!’ Lily raised her voice and Remus was only partially aware of James sleeping upstairs. ‘She might not be good at the emotional things, but as soon as you ask she will realise how she feels. How could you ask me if I think she’ll say yes? How could you doubt her love for you? I’ve seen the way she looks at you and her father can’t stop talking about how happy she is when she’s with you… you’re an idiot.’

Remus began letting a smile seep through, it was just like Lily to make him think one thing and then the complete opposite in the space of five seconds. He pulled her close and hugged his friend as tight as he could. ‘Lily… I can’t believe I found her. I love her so much.’ Remus felt his tears beginning to get the better of him and Lily couldn’t help herself either.

They hadn’t cried together for such a long time and it felt good to get everything off of his chest, but he would need to return to the castle and it pained him to leave Lily’s embrace so soon.

The Patronus had been a huge leap forward, I was able to send messages home over bigger distances and that meant I might have been strong enough to apparate over greater distances on my own, something that would have been incredibly useful for the journey home. I had done it once with the help of the brother at a time when I was in need of help. The brother had also been slightly more useful in the conversations I’d had with him, he was more willing to give up his secrets about his power, even showing me how to sense dark magic for myself.

Yonten warned me to be a little more cautious when taking advice from the brother and I made sure to always run what he said by the Oracles before I tried it. So far, the brother had been good to his word and I wondered if he thought that this might have been the end for him.

I tried my hardest to apply my knowledge of sensing dark magic to sensing other types of magic, for that, I turned to Pema who had told me once that she could see a deep, everlasting love surrounding me. Together we trained to help me see it in others, learning about how different types of magic could be sensed in different ways, it wasn’t all about sight.

‘Do you still see it?’ I asked her one day. ‘The love?’ My white t-shirt was filthy, but I didn’t care that much, spending time with Pema was the calmest I’d felt in a long time.

Pema looked at me like she was assessing every part of me in detail. ‘It’s there, not as clear as it once was, but powerful and strong nonetheless.’

I wasn’t sure how to react, I had finally realised the extent of my love for Remus, surely it would be clearer now.

‘But the conflict is also fading. It’s all being replaced by something else, a mixture of many things. All of it trying to find balance.’ Pema explained further. ‘We must continue our lessons if you are to see these things in others… back to the flower bed.’

It was always back to the flowerbed, everything was always described as a flowerbed, the way things seemed to fit, colours and shapes and smells and the way they all came together to form something new.

Before I knew it, Remus had written a letter to say that Voldemort had come back in a strange form and tried to kill Harry. The details seemed a little off to me, it was something to do with a mirror, a stone and Professor Quirrell, but Remus assured me that everyone was fine and the only harm was to Professor Quirrell who died in the depths of the school.

I wondered if this was what everyone had felt coming, but something was telling me that it wasn’t even close.

I managed to send Darren a Patronus, one that would hopefully allow him to feel a little release from the brother while he was struggling to sleep and struggling to maintain focus. A small amount of magic that would block the brother’s access to Darren even for a short while. It was a handy spell that Yonten had taught me one day while we were discussing something in Tenzin’s books.

I sent a Patronus to my parents as well to reassure them that I would be coming home as soon as I could and that I love them.