Lockwood Part 4

The box was the only thing left in Tenzin’s room aside from his books. All of the things he collected over the years had been returned to where they came from, Pema commenting on the amount of letters and notes that would come through thanking the Oracles for their kindness. I wasn’t really too concerned with that, instead I was more focussed on the plain wooden chest on the bedside table. Tenzin’s books had eventually been moved to my room so that I could learn from them, the language was difficult and it was taking me a while to get the hang of it.

It was strange that I didn’t feel the familiar pain in my heart that I had felt for Jack, Doris, Julian or even Dimitri, it was as if I had accepted Tenzin’s death the second he had gone. The only thing telling me it was okay was the fact that everyone else was reacting in the same way. The warriors talked about old times with Tenzin and gave small stories about his adventures beyond the village, but no one cried for days or even stopped any of the normal routine of the village.

‘Death is a part of living.’ I whispered to myself, watching the mountains.

Tenzin’s ashes sat in a small silver locket, the design was beautiful, everything intertwining and a tree that sat in the centre, it was an Oracle symbol meaning life. Tenzin would have appreciated it. His ashes were kept in the monastery until a time when he would be taken elsewhere, but that was all I knew about it. Yonten assured me that this was what Tenzin wanted and his final wish would be fulfilled no matter what.

I wrote to Remus to tell him about Tenzin, that I was now looking at his book collection and learning ancient Tibetan and Merlin knows what other kind of language. I wrote to my parents to tell them once again that I was safe and making progress, nothing else seemed to give them much comfort. And I wrote to Darren to ask him how the house-hunting had been going. I wasn’t as interested in the response that he and Clara had found a couple of places that they liked, I was happy for him, he was doing the very thing that I was striving to do with Remus; Darren was living a normal life.

I had never had the desire to protect that life as strongly in all my life. Darren deserved the world, he’d always taken care of me, taught me things and protected me even when I didn’t know that I needed protecting, he deserved as much in return.

‘Love is the most powerful force.’ I whispered to myself again.

I understood those things perfectly, so why did it still feel as though I was missing something. I turned to face the village and took a breath, possibly this place wasn’t what it seemed? Maybe it was a mirage? I focussed the same way I did when in my safe place and tried to see what was right in front of me. Nothing changed.

‘It won’t work.’ Yonten approached me, leaning heavily on his stick. He looked as if he had been meditating on something for a while. ‘Tenzin taught you well enough that what you see in this place is exactly what it looks like, but now, try to see more than that… People are very interesting creatures, don’t you think?’ The old Oracle began to wander towards Pema who was tending to a rose bush on one of the paths.

He sounded so like Dumbledore, talking in riddles, but at the same time giving you everything you needed to figure it out.

‘Love is an immovable magic.’ It was a faint voice, cracked and broken, like it had been screaming in pain. The brother. ‘Angie, my mother was immovable.’ The voice of the brother faded away and I wondered if he was finally helping me to rid my body of his soul.

He was right, the she-wolf had been the one to keep me planted to the spot inside the pensieve, she had loved her children until the day they died. My father had told me once that the war was about anger and jealousy, but it was clear now that it had only ever been about love. Romulus loved his mother and Remus, his wife and somehow these things conflicted enough to start a war. I knew from my encounters with the brother that he could sense dark magic, feel it in a way that felt like streams of silky water beneath my fingertips, Pema had told me she had seen a deep love surrounding me, so maybe that was what Yonten wanted me to do? He wanted me to see people more clearly than before.

I went back to my room and searched through my book for more information on auras, I wasn’t sure if it was the right place to start, but I needed to find a connection somewhere. I tried to remember the day that I felt Nakamura in Diagon Alley, but the memory was blurred and painful at best, I needed to see it clearer.

It was strange how like a pensieve my safe place was, I could search through memories easily and step into days I had already lived as if they were happening all over again. The pull of darkness had been so strong, Nakamura appearing in Diagon Alley, all to get his hands on my wand. I’d grasped my chest, feeling something heavy and sticky around my heart and lungs. Dark magic.

I came out of my safe place and wandered over to where a few of the warriors were going through their evening rituals. I tried to see something that wasn’t already there, but nothing I tried seemed to work. I eventually went to bed, thinking on a new way to learn whatever it was Tenzin had wanted me to learn.

Remus,

Tenzin is gone. He died helping me figure out what happened to the brothers and now I know for certain that the story isn’t what my dad thought it was. Love was the reason for everything. I’m starting to realise it’s power and how lucky I am that I have you to keep me focussed.

It’s strange, all my life I believed love to be the ultimate force for good and now I know that it can corrupt people, make them do things that aren’t good. I wonder how much longer I will be able to think clearly on the subject, I need you to be that person, I need you to tell me when I’m going too far, otherwise I don’t know what will happen.

Remus, I know I’ve asked too much of you already, but please, I need you to trust that this is what I’m supposed to do, I’m supposed to be here and I can’t leave until I’ve learnt everything I can. Please don’t be upset with me, I’ll come home, I promise.

Yours

Angelina

It had been nearly a month and I was barely any further forward. I wrote to Remus every day, I gave him all the comfort I could. Every. Single. Day. But I had no real knowledge of if it was working, all I could do was hope and continue to train as hard as I could.

Tenzin’s books were helpful in small doses, every time I understood a new section, I would practice it and consult with the Oracles. As far as I could tell, I already had everything I needed to achieve my goals, I just needed to find the access points and allow myself to experience something new.

Wangchuk had successfully taught me how to control much more powerful spells without the use of my wand, though just to prove it was working, he had me then use my wand which produced ten times the power that I had anticipated. The training figures needed to be repaired in greater numbers and I did my bit in helping repair them.

I kept up with my routine and trained every morning with the warriors, I tried to do as they did and sync up with their movements, to listen to their breathing and anticipate the next move. It helped in my sparring matches against the warriors, listening to the tiniest sounds, just to get some kind of indicator for what they would throw at me. I had only won one match in the most recent week and Wangchuk allowed me the evening to rest as a reward.

It was in one of my dreams that the brother, who I was almost certain now was Remus, decided it was time to give me the truth.

We sat in the white room again, clean and expansive and a part of me was wary, now that I knew I might not have been safe. The hospital bed was gone and it was just the two arm chairs that remained.

‘Angie,’ he leaned forward and stared at me with his big brown eyes. ‘Now you know the truth, you must understand why I need to kill my brother, I cannot let him kill anyone else in the name of supposed love.’

I took a moment to think, this was my body, my life and I was the one who would decide my family’s fate.

‘Romulus did love you and he loved your mother,’ I started firmly. ‘There’s nothing supposed about it.’

‘Angie, please-‘

‘I will not kill my brother.’ I interrupted him. ‘Is that clear to you? I will do everything in my power to rid my family of this curse and no one will stop me. Is that clear?’

Remus held his hands in front of his mouth for a moment, watching me and trying to decide what to do next. His eyes slowly closed and he nodded to himself.

‘Romulus has to die.’ He said. ‘I cannot allow him to harm anyone else, but you must understand that if Darren does not have the strength to resist him, then your brother will die anyway. Angie, you must help Darren. You must do everything you can to pass on what you have learnt here, you are stronger than I ever thought possible and I am weakening. I believe that the day is coming soon when you will kill me. If that happens, I will finally know peace. However, I feel now is a good a time as any to show you something of importance… if you would allow me?’

I frowned for a moment, he wasn’t getting into my safe place and he wasn’t taking any kind of control, so how exactly did he think he was going to show me anything?

‘The memory is yours not mine, you just need to find it,’ he explained. ‘It was the last day you were in the Hills. Something happened just before you left, I can’t say for certain what will happen, but you just need to see it for yourself.’

I watched as Remus pleaded with me to believe him. There was no harm in exploring my own memories, but I had to wonder what it was he wanted me to see. It could wait until I was awake.

‘Okay, I’ll have a look, but you are not to contact me this way again. I will set the terms under which we communicate.’ I could see that he wasn’t happy about it, but he made no real effort to argue.

It was the Alban Hills, the centre of the settlement, all of it in ruins. The statue of the she-wolf stood in the middle, the strange symbols that covered her body and me sitting sketching them into my notebook, praying that something would come to me.

I watched as I spoke to the brother, listening to his replies echoing in the distance as I began searching the village for whatever else I had been looking for. I tripped on the way back to the statue and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, this was what I was meant to see. I had cuts on my hands, I was bleeding, not heavily but enough. I used the statue to help myself up, my blood was smeared onto the statue and I thought I was seeing things. For a fraction of a second, the symbols flashed bright white, something was waking up beneath the rock. As I left the village, I knew I could feel something watching me and I was right, the she-wolf was watching me from within the statue.

I opened my eyes to see the mountains, everything was clam, but it was now clearer than ever how short time was.

‘Surely I’m not supposed to fight a wolf?’ I whispered to the brother.

‘You might not have a choice anymore.’ He sighed.

I felt a rage that I hadn’t felt since coming to the sacred village. I couldn’t stop my body running on automatic anymore, I stood and screamed as loudly as I could into the mountains. Why was this happening to me? Why couldn’t I just have Remus? My family? My friends? Why couldn’t I just be me?

I let everything I had leave my lungs, everything that I couldn’t stand holding onto anymore, all the worry, the frustration, the loss and heartache, everything needed to be gone. My body collapsed and I was left on my knees, heaving breath back into my body, anything to give me any strength to carry on. Why couldn’t I just stay here? The village was safe, far from harm and the only responsibility I had was to learn.

‘Angie?’ It was Yonten. I turned, feeling the tear cooling on my cheeks. ‘Do you understand now?’

‘I don’t want to understand.’ I cried and let my body fall completely onto the ground.

It was a moment before Yonten sat with me, placing his hand on my head and carefully stroking my hair.

‘It is a great ask,’ he sighed. ‘A twenty-two-year-old child, barely old enough to know who she is and the world is asking her to save it. It’s not just anyone who is asked to do such a thing, not just anyone is blessed with the strength of a thousand souls and not just anyone can make the hardest choices of all. You are like no one else and you were born to be better than any of us. It will never feel like it until you are old, but it is a gift to understand love the way you do, it will always feel like a burden when you are young, but give it time and you will see.’

I thought on his words for a moment or two, he was right, none of this felt like a gift, but I was here for a reason, an Oracle had died because he believed in my being here. I needed to do better. It suddenly occurred to me that I had never said the words ‘I love you’ to Remus, not once in the four years that we had been together had I ever expressed my love in that way for him. What was wrong with me? Surely I felt it, surely this was what love felt like, the desire to see someone else safe, to open yourself to another human being and accept them for everything they are. So why had I never said it before now?

‘Possibly, you are waiting for the right moment?’ Yonten offered. I was very used to the Oracles being able to read my mind, so it came as no shock that he knew what I was thinking. ‘You could send a Patronus? I can show you how to send them over longer distances, it might inspire you to try new things as well.’

I couldn’t find the energy to say no, so spent the next week learning how to send a messenger Patronus over a much longer distance.

Remus was in the middle of a class with his sixth years, they were duelling and doing fairly well with the new spells that they had been taught, but Remus had been exhausted from the lack of sleep the previous night, so they were working in pairs, Remus would call out a spell and stand behind the student that was being attacked, just in case. They rotated and everyone got a turn to practice both the shielding charm and a new attacking spell that Remus was sure they needed to sharpen up on.

It was Millie to stop first. She was just about to cast the spell Remus had called out, but instead of speaking the words, she frowned and looked to Remus’s desk. His blood ran cold as he turned. It was the parchment, it was making things shake on his desk, an urgent message from Angelina. Remus began mentally trying to figure out how he could get to Tibet and find her, but there was no need.

Remus,

This is important. I’ve sent you a message via Patronus, please tell me the second it arrives. All you have to do is stroke the head.

Yours

Angelina

Remus barely got past the first sentence before hearing his class gasp in disbelief. Remus brought up his wand to see Angelina’s wolf sitting in the middle of the classroom, just waiting for him to greet it. The wolf itself was about the size of her Animagus and in fact, it was similar in every way apart from the colouring. Remus had never seen a Patronus as white as that before. It was just as beautiful as she was and it looked stronger than ever.

‘Sir?’ Millie’s voice cracked and Remus snapped back into the room. He could feel his eyes watering and cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. ‘What is it?’

Remus flicked his wand towards the parchment and sent it to Nathan, along with a quill.

‘Nathan, please write back that it has arrived. You’ll not need to do anything else. Please return the parchment to my desk as soon as you are done. Everyone else, you may leave.’ Not a single student moved.

‘That’s a Patronus, that is.’ One of the whispered.

‘Who’s?’ Came the reply.

Remus rolled his eyes, he had no idea what was in the message, but the wolf was getting eager for him to retrieve it as soon as possible.

‘If none of you are going to leave, you can at least stand well back, wands at the ready.’ Remus commanded the class. Nathan put the parchment back on his desk and joined his classmates, keeping Millie close by.

He edged closer to the wolf, never breaking eye contact. It was ridiculous, Remus had received messages in this form before, but he had only ever done it during the war. Finally, he was standing in front of the creature that was almost as tall as him, he lifted his hand to stroke the head and just like a dog, the wolf leaned into his touch. It was incredibly soft, it felt like pure magic beneath his fingertips and a voice softly speaking to him.

‘Remus, it’s me. Please know that I am safe and that this is proof of how far I have come already. I will come home, I will come back to you, I promise. I will never let you down. We will speak again soon.’

The wolf faded into nothing and Remus immediately missed the voice, it was Angelina, his Angelina and she had spoken to him in the voice that he hadn’t heard in months. She promised that she would come home and finally Remus believed it, finally he felt settled enough and sure enough that she would come back.

He had let his eyes close for just a second and when he opened them the class of students were watching him for answers.

‘What happened?’ It was Nathan who asked. ‘It just disappeared.’ Some of the students put their wands down, clearly expecting something more to have happened.

‘If you’d like to collect your things, we’ll finish there for today.’ Remus said, to the reply of groans. He was getting warm under his skin, her voice was like an echo, not so clear anymore, fading and making him feel sick. Remus didn’t dare move, he just observed as the class began dispersing. ‘Nathan.’ He called and the young man stopped. ‘If you could just wait a moment?’

Nathan quickly kissed Millie and watched her leave. It was a moment after the rest of the class disappeared before Remus felt his legs give way. Nathan was straight to him, helping him sit on the closest bench.

‘Are you alright?’ Nathan asked.

‘I’m fine, I just needed to make sure I didn’t fall.’ Remus explained, taking his tie and jacket off.

‘Should I get Madame Pomfrey?’

‘No, no, no, I’ll be alright.’ Remus took a few deep breaths, still trying to cling onto the remaining echoes of her voice. Nathan watched him for another moment or two, until Remus felt he could stand on his own without losing balance again. He took a deep breath and smiled at Nathan. ‘I have something for you as well.’ Remus said, gathering his things, aware that his shirt was a little damp from where he had been sweating.

Nathan sat and waited for Remus as he went into his office and picked up the journals he had promised him. Remus took another moment to himself, he was okay, he just needed to be alone for a while and think on Angelina.

‘I will need these back by the start of next year, but you are very welcome to study from them before then.’ Remus smiled, handing over three leather-bound journals that belonged to Angelina during the time she created her Wolfsbane potion. ‘Please take care of them in the meantime. They are very important.’

Nathan took the journals and looked at them in awe. ‘Sir? She is coming home, isn’t she? I’ve been reading up on the yetis in Tibet and-‘

‘We’ve been through this.’ Remus interrupted him. ‘Angelina is a very capable woman, she is in no danger from anything that she cannot handle and she will come home safe and sound. There is no need for you to worry.’

‘I know, it’s just that you said you thought something was coming.’ Nathan pleaded. ‘I just want to make sure that my family is safe.’

Remus sighed and observed the young man. ‘That Patronus was a message from Angelina, she has assured me that everything is fine and that she will come home when she feels she can. You are well protected within the school, you and Millie are safe while you are here, I can assure you.’

It took him a moment, but Nathan eventually saw that there was no point in arguing any further. ‘Thank you for the journals, I’ll be sure to take care of them. And please thank Angelina for them, I really appreciate her letting me borrow them.’

‘That’s quite alright.’ Remus nodded and watched as Nathan left.

For the first time in a long time, Remus didn’t feel the need to break down and cry in the middle of his classroom, he felt just comforted enough to write back to Angelina.

Angelina,

It worked. I don’t know what you would need it for, but you have managed to send a Patronus from Tibet to Hogwarts in a matter of seconds. I can’t imagine what else you are learning there. Keep up the good work and you’ll be home sooner than you think.

Yours

Remus

I did it. Remus got my message quicker than I expected, but he got it. I was exhausted afterwards, I didn’t want to do anything but rest, but Yonten had insisted that I find Wangchuk so that I could train for another couple of hours. It was rigorous and I was back to failing from exhaustion.

The brother had kept his word and only spoke to me when I asked him a question, he felt different within me, it wasn’t the darkened presence I was used to feeling, it felt weaker than that and I was sure that he was giving up hope.

‘How did you revive your mother?’ I asked, sitting looking out at the mountains one morning. ‘When you were dying you said you shouldn’t have done it?’

I heard the brother sigh. ‘It was very old magic, blood magic. She was animagus and dying, she found a way to live on as a wolf and we were children. We had no idea of what we were being asked to do and she should never have asked it of us. Angie, I don’t remember what it was she asked of us, she corrupted our memories of that day, but I do know that she required dark magic items to sustain her form until she was strong enough to live without them.’

‘That was what I saw, that thing you collected from the chest?’

‘Yes, it was a cursed object and she consumed its power in order to survive.’

‘How is that even possible?’

‘Blood magic is not like dark magic, Angie.’ The brother reasoned with me. ‘It requires an exchange or some form of sacrifice and unlike dark magic it has many more possibilities.’

‘You used blood magic to protect your son?’

There was a clear and uncomfortable pause. ‘I did what I needed to, you saw that… I carved the symbol for strength into my hand and used verbal magic to transfer a piece of me into my son. I would never let him suffer at the hands of Romulus.’

I thought for a moment, I wasn’t sure if what he described was quite possible. I knew what I had seen, but there was still something a little off. I decided it was best not to push the subject to much further.

‘I’ll ask you this once and I expect a truthful answer,’ I warned the brother. ‘Do you know how I can get rid of you?’

The brother took a lot longer to answer than I was comfortable with. ‘There are things we can try.’ Was all he said.

I left the conversation there and continued my training. Yonten was pushing me harder and harder and I could feel him getting anxious. I knew from my time at home that powerful witches and wizards could feel danger coming before it arrived, it had always been described to me as a nervous feeling that wouldn’t go away, it meant something big was coming.

Yonten had begun teaching me the Tibetan way of seeing into another’s mind and even placing information there, it was a form of Legilimens that wasn’t as intrusive. He also began teaching me Occlumency, both I would find useful during the tests. Yonten had been incredibly secretive about the tests, claiming not to know what they consisted of, but I highly doubted that.

Finally, Wangchuk had finally trusted me enough to let me use weapons to learn how to fight, we started basic and continued on from there. My body ached and I wished it ached in a different way. I craved Remus more and more every day, it had been so long since I had seen him, spoken with him or even touched him. I missed the way he looked at me and then way I could tell when he wanted to kiss me, I missed him so much.